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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |32 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Archana Deshpande, the founder of TransformMe Life Skills Coaching, is an image consultant, soft skills trainer and life coach.
She has been working with individuals and corporate organisations for more than 10 years during which she has helped professionals and students improve their soft skills, build confidence and enhance self-esteem.
An engineer from the PDA College of Engineering, Gulbarga, Archana had a successful career at Reliance Communications. But she has always been interested in teaching and training people. So she pursued a postgraduate diploma in teacher’s training at Pune’s Symbiosis Institute of Management Studies followed by teaching assignments in schools at Visakhapatnam and Mumbai.
Archana also holds an international certificate in image consulting and soft skills training from the Image Consulting Business Institute, Mumbai.... more
Bhawik Question by Bhawik on Apr 17, 2024Hindi
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Career

Dear Guru, I work in the technology space, and as with most careers, it is challenging and stressful. I work long hours (10-12hrs on avg). My problem is that I get disturbed sleep and am unable to get work related thoughts out of my mind wherein I even dream about solutions to work problems. I am afraid this is going to hurt my health and burn me out soon. Please advise on how I can detach from work to get a refreshing sleep.

Ans: Dear Bhawik!!

Pat yourself on the back for being a committed employee. The problems you have stated happen to most people who give their 100% to their work. Since you already know what it is to be 100% at work, it is time for you to give your 100% at home and to yourself.
You need to mentally detach yourself from work the moment you step out of the office building.
How will you do this? Adopt the following-
1. before leaving the office list out all the activities for tomorrow , prioritise them and mentally commit to them as tasks for tomorrow.
2. as soon as you exit the office building take three deep breaths , inhale and exhale deeply - this is called a transitioning breath which helps you transition from activity to another
3 establish rituals like listening to music( which you love) the moment you leave the building
4. if your transit form office to home takes some time, then practice being in the moment by looking around - the people, the trees, the sky, let all your senses be involved- use your eyes to see, nose to smell, ears to hear the sounds around, feel the breeze in your hair/ on your skin. This makes you feel 100% alive. Stay in the moment.
5. when you reach home, greet your loved ones with a smile
6. spend a little time doing nothing , just be
7. enjoy your meal mindfully
8.take a small walk after your meal
9.spend minimum of 10 mins doing something that brings you joy, for me it is reading a book, what is it for you?
10.take a bath with lukewarm water before you go to bed and then go for a guided "Yog Nidra"

Do not intellectualize these suggestions. Just do them. They are tried and tested methods for a proper demarcation between work and home life.
Best wishes for a life well lived and restful sleep..
Career

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Namita

Namita Piparaiya  |39 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Wellness Expert - Answered on Apr 12, 2023

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Even after working for more than 12 to 14 hours + in a day, at night I don't get sound sleep. I wake up every half hour or in a hour. How to get sound sleep, without disturbance.
Ans: Hi, that must be very difficult and sleep is very important for a sound body and mind. Please start including 20-30 mins before bedtime for some mindful sleep-supporting activities. The best of them is Yoga Nidra, there are many videos available online, and I would recommend the ones by the Bihar School of Yoga. You can practice them 2-3 times a week. On the remaining days, you can include any of these in your evening routine - 61 Point body scan, Mind-space resonance technique (MSRT), Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) or Bhramari Pranayama. These are usually very helpful in helping you go to sleep and get a good night's rest. It is also important that you analyse other components of your lifestyle - Are you getting enough sunlight exposure during the day? Are you having caffeine after 4 pm which can impact sleep quality? Are you exposed to bright light or blue light at night that can keep you awake? Are you going to bed at the same time every night or not? Is there a lot of stress in your life? are you doing something to manage that stress and regulate your nervous system so you can sleep better? Are you having a heavy dinner close to bed time? So, you see there are multiple factors that can impact sleep, and unless you address the root cause, the problem will keep coming back. So, take time out to introspect and review what could be impacting your sleep quality the most and start by addressing that first. And of course practices like Yoga Nidra, MSRT, PMR and Body scans are excellent to start doing anyway. All the best!

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
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Dear LG, Please keep this anonymous. I have been married since 6 years. However, since past 5+ years we have not been intimate. We haave a 5&1/2 year kid. Since his birth we have had a lot of differences and his family interference was lot leaving me alone and wounded. I don't stay with my husband and in-laws since then. I had made up that work is worship. But 2 years back I met a colleague. He is 10 years younger to me and we have extremely similar vibes. We enjoy each other's company and cared a lot. Eventually i fell in love with him. But he always knew he wont be able to go against his family. We also had relationship. Now he has strated looking for girls and wants us to stop being intimate. He is saying he wants to be friends and not loose me but not have relationship. We both work together in same space and our area of work is also same. I am unable to forgive my husband and forget this person. He never goes away. He is always there telling that I want to see you happy. He needs me for professional development. And i am not able to loose our relationship. He says physical intimacy only I cant have remaining Im there. Then again says I don’t know when I will be there so I am unable to give assurance or promise. I am tormented with a child, work and my health is getting affected. Can you please help?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry that you are in such a tough spot. My advice would be to move on. Yes, I realize that it is easier said than done but let's put things into perspective- first, you have no future with this man, and he has made it clear. Are you okay to keep hanging on to him while he builds his own life? I am assuming no, especially since you have a child. Second, what about your self-respect? He is directly telling you that this relationship is headed toward a dead end. Do you believe you deserve to be with someone who does not want to settle down with you? I believe you deserve better.

I am not blaming him because he made no promises. You are not to be held guilty either because you were in a tough spot and you grabbed the first emotional support you found. But the current reality is that he wants out. And convincing him to stay is not an option. At this point, moving on with your head held high is the best decision. If you want to accept his friendship, that is completely fine. But if that's too much for you, you can always decline it. I understand that working in the same space with an ex is difficult, but as long as you avoid interacting outside of the office and keep things professional, there should not be an issue. On the emotional front, I won't lie, it will hurt for a while. But this too shall pass. I strongly recommend you not to value yourself so low that you stop believing that you deserve a person who loves you back as much as you love him.

Best Wishes.

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