I am a 53 year old man living alone away from family for 6 years. My wife has affair with her boyfriend and they are in physical relations also. Suddenly I got attracted to one female colleague. We became friendly. Suddenly that lady has stopped talking to me. Being a matured man I don't want anybody's life to be spoiled but not able to cope up with her ignorance to me. Please suggest how to cope up with the situation.

Ans: There’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing. She’s single, you’re single. If your children value your wellbeing and happiness, they will accept the relationship. Just sit the family down and tell them. You owe nobody an explanation as to why you’re in a relationship; you deserve happiness.

Ans: Dear Ashok,
I am truly sorry for your loss...
Find courage to sit with your children and tell them about it. Do expect that there is a possibility of rejection from them as they have never seen you with any other lady other than their mother. So the initial rejection and mockery is a possibility. It will be the same at her end as well. The family members will cite age, society etc as a reason as to why this relationship/alliance is wrong.
Both of you must be patient through all of this and give it some time. Your children and her family members may still after all this still be uncomfortable and not accept this, be prepared and do what you must. It's your lives, isn't it?
But do keep a positive outlook and expect things to go in your favor as sooner than later, people will see the intent behind all this is the need for companionship. Also, on your part, do ensure your children that no one can replace their mother; though they are adults, they will still need this reassuring...Take it one step at a time...

All the best!

Ans: If you choose to go ahead, then let her know and take things forward with her. Its clear you are attracted to her.

If you are attracted to your colleague and you believe that she is interested in you, then you may want to consider pursuing a relationship with her. However, it is important to be aware of the potential risks and consequences of doing so.

If you don't want to proceed with her, then start focusing on your hobbies, works, other interests.

If you are not interested in pursuing a relationship with your colleague, then it is important to set clear boundaries and focus on other aspects of your life. This may include spending more time with your family and friends, pursuing your hobbies, or focusing on your career.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to pursue a relationship with your colleague is up to you. However, it is important to weigh the potential risks and benefits before making a decision.

Mohit Arora S
Founder - Real Dating School

www.realdatingschool.com/1-1_call

Ans: It’s understandable that you're feeling hurt and frustrated, especially since your intentions were pure and your wife’s reaction came from a place of misunderstanding. In situations like this, transparency and communication are key to mending the trust that’s been shaken.

First, it's important to have a calm, honest conversation with your wife. Explain the nature of your friendship with your colleague, emphasizing that it was based on helping her through a difficult time and nothing more. Be open about why you supported your colleague and reassure your wife that there is no romantic involvement. Acknowledge her feelings, as it’s clear she is reacting out of fear and concern for your relationship.

Your daughter’s involvement complicates the situation, but it can also be an opportunity to show both your wife and daughter that there’s nothing to hide. Let them see your messages if that reassures them, and express that your commitment to your family is unwavering.

Additionally, emphasize that you understand why your wife may have felt uneasy, especially since the colleague is a widow. Sometimes, just being heard and understood can help ease her anxiety. Reassure her that your focus is on your family and that you’re willing to make any adjustments necessary to rebuild her trust.

If the situation continues to cause tension, consider seeking professional counseling as a couple. A therapist can help mediate the conversation and provide tools for rebuilding trust and communication in a healthy way. By showing your commitment to resolving the issue and prioritizing your family, you can work through this misunderstanding together.