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Pooja

Pooja Khera  | Answer  |Ask -

Life, Relationship Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2023

Pooja Khera has a PGDM in human resources from Amity University and is a happiness and wellbeing coach certified by Yale University. She also has a master's degree in astrology and is a tarot card reader as well.... more
Srinivasan Question by Srinivasan on Feb 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

i am married and 49 yrs old and my wife 42 having 2 children boy is 10 yrs and girl is 14. Last six years not proper relation with me but living in same house. She is having affair with one his friend as i also known him as physical relation also. As i known this matter last year end as seen the abortion medical paper. I too much love before this matter as we caste wise different same as language also. What can i do now as i am living for my children future only. How can i stay with her?

Ans: If you are choosing to stay in the marriage because of your children, then the only way is to have an open , honest conversation with your wife. Let her know you know about her relationship and mutually establish some dos and dont's in the marriage.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |182 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 23, 2023

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Relationship
My name is Rajesh, I am 50 year old 4years back I got to know that my wife is in relationship with someone and after inqiuring in detail I found that, that was her second relationship. Earlier relationship was broken 1 year before. and she told me all herself when I ask on condition that if she didnt tell me I may take dicision of breaking. so sho told me everything without hiding. she is telling me that she still loves me. Arter that she stoped all contacts but after a year she strated developing contacts with facebook messenger and developed one more relationship with one FB friend. again when I got to know she stoped contacting him. this time ther was no physical relationship, but she admitted that he once kissed her. the boy tried to contact her in all ways but she somehow stopped this matter. I love my wife very much. I forgive her every time. three year passed now all this year she was not going outside alone without me. but in these days I also insisted her to go out, and she started going to yoga class where she used to go early and she is very happy now days. I dont know whether I am doing correct or not, some time I still have dought in my mind whether she will start again doing affairs. I am some times afread, dont know what to do. whether I should still continue trusting and loving my wife or what. we have one son age 16 now. I am confuesd sometimes but till date happiness is maintained in the family. But I am feeling lonely somtimes. what to do?
Ans: Dear Rajesh,

I can understand it is an impossible situation for you but this too shall pass. First things first, are you happy in a relationship that involves cheating, not once, but twice and who's to say there won't be a third? Ask yourself that. If the answer is no, it is quite understandable, but if it's yes, then why? Why would anyone be happy with a partner who cheats over and over again? Why do you think you deserve such a life? Granted, relationships are not all rainbows and butterflies all the time, but they should not look this grim either. You alone have kept it going for this long, and maintained harmony by accepting your partner's infidelity time and again; ask yourself what would happen if you allowed yourself to stop. You can stop tolerating it, you know?

The question isn't how you should deal with your partner who is evidently a repeat cheater. The question is how you should deal with the situation and why are you reacting in a way that almost makes me think that you believe you deserve such a relationship. As for your kid, divorce or separation has much less effect on a child than a broken marriage with two unhappy parents.

If you still want to continue, that is also okay. To each their own, but don't forget to ask yourself what are you staying in this marriage for; your kid, societal pressure, or is it unconditional love for your wife, who, by the way, does not reciprocate the same for you.

Best Wishes!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |183 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 20, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 20, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi. I am married and its our 17th year into marriage. Myself 40 yrs and my wife 37 yrs, we have 2 kids. I am working abroad and my wife is working near our home in india itself. Recently my son found that my wife is seeing her senior co worker who is also married and having 2 kids. They were sending romantic messages. My son got shocked and immediately informed me and was very furious. I too got shocked and inquired my wife. She apologized and said that she got attracted and carried away. Also it was just chatting and nothing happened between them. they were chatting for nearly 7 months. In between that man had visited my home too. I love my wife a lot and couldnt believe she betrayed me. As i am working abroad i couldnt judge how long and serious this affair was. I couldnt travel immediately also. She pleaded and still going to the same job citing her career and for kids life. I couldnt sleep and terribly confused as how to handle this and proceed further. I couldnt share to my family also.
Ans: Oh my dear Anonymous, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult situation. Infidelity can be a painful experience, and it's understandable that you're feeling confused and hurt. Dealing with such matters requires careful consideration and communication.It's normal to feel a range of emotions such as anger, sadness, confusion, and betrayal. Allow yourself the space to come to terms with what has happened before making any major decision. Discuss your feelings, concerns, and expectations moving forward with your wife clear;y being open and honest is what i feel is most important. Discuss and establish clear boundaries regarding communication with the other person. Also you have children, consider how this situation may affect them. It's essential to provide a stable and supportive environment for them. Depending on the circumstances, you may want to involve them in the conversation or shield them from the details, depending on their age. Remember, the decision on how to proceed ultimately rests with you. Seeking the assistance of a professional counselor or therapist can be valuable in navigating the complexities of infidelity and rebuilding trust. It's crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being and make decisions that align with your values and goals for the future.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I have been married from 15 yrs. I have a 9 yrs old son with me. In oct 21 my wife (age 38) started making REELS on insta of the facial acting. She got involved and told me that she is just doing for followers and like. People used to comment good and bad which i didnt like. She was trying to make young guy friends. In april 2022 she had an affair with a 22-year-old boy who was not even financial stable. I could she changes in her every day. In June 2022 I caught her and she confess that she did affair and also done physical relationship. I had unconditionally loved her all these years and didn’t wanted to let her go. Also, didn’t wanted to hurt my son by taking a divorce. That guy refused to keep my son and their relation broke, but my wife still loved him and missed him. Few months she was in depression and I took her upmost care and swallowed what she did. I just told her that please come back to our life as you were before but she was not getting back. There used to be few quarrels, she was just staying alone within herself and I never felt that love which she used to give me. Later in feb23 there was a marriage at her family and I agree to go with her so she may get that feel during our times and she promised me to enjoy the marriage and make love with me. But she was happy with her relative and didn’t even bother to make that love and affection with me. from that time, I used to get angry and fight with her. I went into depression. In May 2023 she was getting worst and one day fight increased and I asked her to leave my house which I wasn’t intentionally wanted to. She left and went missing 24 yrs and then called from her mom mobile who was in her village, since she didn’t come back home and from last two month, she has been asking me money for herself and says it’s her rights. She doesn’t bother for my son and just show that she loves him. She works and stay with woman from 6 months and I’m looking after my son all alone. I told her u can work but just come home and make things better for my son. Her conditions is to give money security (money) then only she will return. All my family says she is just behind money and doesn’t care what I and my son is going through. She is not guilt for what she did. 15 yrs of marriage has been ruin and now she has no shame at all. She talks rudely if i dont send her money and now I refused sending her. Please advice what do I do now.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You seem to have done a lot to try and get her back. What can you do if she doesn't want to acknowledge your efforts or appreciate what family life is! One would imagine that a child in the equation may bring about a change in heart but that doesn't seem to be the case here at this moment.
Your family members are right in their mind about the way that see your wife as they have been observing how this has impacted you and your son.
Either you wait for her to come to her senses OR simply learn to live life without her. If the outside world of social media is what seems to satisfy her, no matter what you do, she will be dissatisfied and unhappy. This only means that she has to learn and appreciate what she has with you and your son.
It is also possible that she has been disinterested in the marriage for a while now and has been seeking approval and validation from people on social media. Even if this is the case, being angry with you is understandable BUT what about her own child? What makes her not want to deal with that reality? If you need an answer to this, simply WAIT and WATCH without begging her to come back...That will give you an idea as to where her mind is and then decide on the future course...

All the best!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1384 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 03, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi, I am 30 years old, F, married (no kids yet) earning 1.3L/m. Currently I have 4 lakh in FD and a RD of 25K/m earning 7.1% interest. I have been doing SIP of 17.5K(and increase in SIP by 25% yearly). Also, I have an emergency fund of 4 Lakh in savings account. I don't have any knowledge of investment and not sure I am ready to take risk. Please suggest me how to asses risk and what are the best savings option for next 10-12 years.
Ans: It's great that you're taking steps towards financial planning and building wealth for your future. Assessing your risk tolerance is an important first step in determining your investment strategy. Here's a tailored approach to help you assess risk and explore suitable savings options for the next 10-12 years:

Risk Assessment:
Start by understanding your financial goals, time horizon, and comfort level with investment risk.
Consider factors such as your age, income stability, financial obligations, and future aspirations when evaluating risk tolerance.
Reflect on how you would react to market fluctuations and potential losses in your investment portfolio.
Investment Options:
Given your risk aversion, focus on low to moderate-risk investment options that offer stability and steady returns over time.
Explore fixed-income instruments such as Fixed Deposits (FDs), Recurring Deposits (RDs), and Debt Mutual Funds, which provide capital preservation and predictable returns.
Diversification:
While prioritizing safety and stability, consider diversifying your investment portfolio across different asset classes to manage risk effectively.
Allocate a portion of your savings to equity mutual funds or index funds with a conservative approach to benefit from potential long-term growth while minimizing volatility.
Savings Goals:
Identify your financial goals for the next 10-12 years, such as buying a home, starting a family, or saving for retirement.
Prioritize your savings goals based on their importance and urgency, and allocate your investments accordingly.
Regular Review and Adjustment:
Periodically review your investment portfolio and reassess your risk tolerance, financial goals, and market conditions.
Adjust your investment strategy as needed to stay aligned with your objectives and adapt to changes in your financial situation or life circumstances.
Financial Education:
Invest time in learning about different investment options, risk management strategies, and personal finance principles.
Consider seeking guidance from a Certified Financial Planner who can provide personalized advice and help you navigate the complexities of investing.
Remember, while it's important to prioritize safety and stability, being overly conservative with your investments may hinder your ability to achieve long-term financial growth. Find a balance between risk and reward that aligns with your goals and comfort level. With careful planning and informed decision-making, you can build a strong financial foundation and work towards achieving your aspirations over the next decade.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1384 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 05, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi sir am 35yrs old , and i don't have any savings till now. I am planning to do SIP now onwards 30k per month and mai aim is to I need to achieve 1cr till 45yrs. Kindly suggest me some funds were can I invest.
Ans: Starting a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) is a great step towards building wealth for your future goals. Given your goal of reaching 1 crore by the age of 45, it's essential to choose mutual funds that align with your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial objectives. Here are some suggestions for mutual funds to consider for your SIP:

Diversified Equity Funds:
Look for funds that invest across various sectors and market capitalizations to spread risk.
Consider funds with a proven track record of consistent performance and experienced fund managers.
Large Cap Funds:
Large-cap funds invest in established and well-known companies with a track record of stable earnings.
These funds offer relatively lower risk compared to mid and small-cap funds, making them suitable for long-term wealth creation.
Mid and Small Cap Funds:
Mid and small-cap funds have the potential for higher growth but come with higher volatility.
Invest in these funds if you have a higher risk appetite and a longer investment horizon to ride out market fluctuations.
Balanced Funds:
Balanced funds, also known as hybrid funds, invest in a mix of equities and debt instruments.
These funds provide a balance between growth and stability, making them suitable for investors seeking moderate risk with potential for capital appreciation.
Index Funds:
Index funds replicate the performance of a specific market index, such as the Nifty or Sensex.
These funds offer low expense ratios and are ideal for investors looking for passive investment options with diversified exposure to the equity market.
Tax-saving ELSS Funds:
Consider investing in Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) to benefit from tax deductions under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act.
ELSS funds have a lock-in period of three years and invest primarily in equities, offering the potential for higher returns over the long term.
International Funds:
Explore international funds that invest in global markets to diversify your portfolio and access opportunities beyond domestic markets.
These funds provide exposure to sectors and companies not available in the Indian market and can offer diversification benefits.
Before investing, assess your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial goals. Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to create a personalized investment plan tailored to your needs and objectives. Regularly review your portfolio and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards achieving your goal of 1 crore by the age of 45. Remember, disciplined investing over time can help you achieve your financial aspirations.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1384 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 05, 2024

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Money
What should be the investment even after retirement and in which fund
Ans: Post-retirement, it's crucial to maintain a well-balanced investment strategy that aligns with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and income needs. Here's a tailored approach to consider:

Investment Objectives:
Focus on preserving capital, generating regular income, and managing inflation risk to sustain your lifestyle in retirement.
Prioritize investments that offer stability, liquidity, and moderate growth potential to meet your income requirements.
Asset Allocation:
Allocate a portion of your retirement corpus to fixed-income investments such as bonds, debt funds, and Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS) to provide a steady stream of income and capital preservation.
Maintain exposure to equity through balanced funds or conservative equity funds to benefit from potential capital appreciation while managing volatility.
Regular Income Generation:
Consider investing in dividend-paying mutual funds or systematic withdrawal plans (SWP) to generate a regular income stream from your investment portfolio.
Opt for funds with a history of consistent dividends or reliable income distributions to support your post-retirement expenses.
Risk Management:
Prioritize investments with lower volatility and downside protection to safeguard your retirement savings from market fluctuations.
Diversify across asset classes and investment vehicles to mitigate risk and enhance portfolio resilience.
Tax Efficiency:
Choose tax-efficient investment options such as tax-free bonds, dividend-paying funds, or capital gains tax-exempt instruments to optimize your post-retirement income.
Leverage tax-saving opportunities available to retirees, such as Senior Citizens Savings Scheme (SCSS) or Pradhan Mantri Vaya Vandana Yojana (PMVVY), to maximize tax benefits.
Regular Review and Adjustment:
Continuously monitor your investment portfolio and adjust your asset allocation and investment strategy based on changing market conditions, income requirements, and personal circumstances.
Consult with a Certified Financial Planner periodically to ensure your investment plan remains aligned with your post-retirement goals and objectives.
Overall, maintain a balanced approach to post-retirement investing, focusing on income generation, capital preservation, and risk management. By diversifying across asset classes, prioritizing stability, and staying disciplined in your investment approach, you can build a resilient portfolio that supports your financial well-being throughout retirement.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1384 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 05, 2024Hindi
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Money
Sir, I started investing in MFs since 2007. These are the schemes where I am investing currently. Do I need to make any changes to my portfolio? I am planning to invest Rs 50,000 per month for a period of 20 years. I want a corpus of Rs 5 cr after 20 years. Do I need to add any new schemes to reach my target? * Mirae Asset Tax Saver Fund G * Motilal Oswal NASDAQ 100 ETF * Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund * Aditya Birla Sun Life Mfg Equity Fund * Aditya Birla Sun Life Tax Relief 96 * 360 One Focused Equity Fund - Growth * Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip Fund - Growth * Quant Tax Plan * Axis Bluechip fund * Canara Robeco Emerging Equities * Canara Robeco Equity Tax Saver * HDFC Gold Trader Fund Growth - Direct * HDFC Tax saver ICICI Prudential Technology Fund – Growth
Ans: You've built a diversified portfolio over the years, showcasing a thoughtful approach to long-term wealth creation. It's commendable how you've spread your investments across different market segments and themes.

To reach your target corpus of Rs 5 crore in 20 years with a monthly investment of Rs 50,000, it's essential to periodically review and adjust your portfolio. Consider rebalancing to ensure alignment with your goals and market conditions.

While your current portfolio includes a mix of equity, tax-saving, and thematic funds, consider adding diversified options to enhance portfolio resilience. Focus on funds with strong track records, experienced fund managers, and consistent performance.

As market dynamics evolve, keep an eye on new investment opportunities and emerging sectors. Stay informed and open to adjustments to optimize your portfolio for long-term growth and stability.

Remember, investing is a journey, and it's essential to stay patient, disciplined, and focused on your goals. With prudent planning and regular review, you're well-positioned to achieve your financial aspirations. Keep up the good work!

...Read more

Mayank

Mayank Chandel  |497 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on May 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 09, 2024Hindi
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Career
My daughter wants to pursue MBBS ,how can I get admission in AFMC pune
Ans: Hello Sir/Madam
Age: Candidates must be at least 17 years old and not more than 24 years old as of 31st December of the year of admission.

NEET UG Examination: Admission to AFMC Pune is through the NEET UG (National Eligibility cum Entrance Test for Undergraduate) examination conducted by the National Testing Agency (NTA). Candidates must appear for NEET UG and qualify with the minimum required percentile.

Online Registration: After the NEET UG results are declared, candidates who have qualified for NEET UG and meet the eligibility criteria for AFMC Pune need to register online on the official website of AFMC.

Screening Process: Shortlisted candidates are called for a screening process at AFMC Pune, which includes a written test, aptitude test, and interview. The written test assesses the candidate's scientific knowledge, the aptitude test evaluates the candidate's officer-like qualities, and the interview assesses the candidate's personality and suitability for a career in the Armed Forces.

Final Merit List: Based on the performance in the NEET UG examination, screening process, and other criteria, a final merit list is prepared for admission to AFMC Pune.

Medical Examination: Candidates who are selected based on the final merit list undergo a medical examination to ensure they meet the medical standards required by the Armed Forces.

Admission and Training: Selected candidates are admitted to AFMC Pune for the MBBS program and undergo training to become medical officers in the Armed Forces.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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