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Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Mohit Arora is a relationship coach, image consultant, soft skills trainer and the founder of Real Dating School. He has a BTech degree in computer science from the Rayat & Bahra Institute of Engineering and Biotechnology, Mohali, Punjab. He has been conducting customised skilling and communication workshops since 2014.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am 42 years old married who is woking at an establishment of a Public Sector company. I am holding a senior position. I have one female colleague who is of my age and married. She very frequently comes to my cabin and sits with me. She sits very close to me almost touching my body. She is very frank with me and discuss very personal things with me. She adores me a lot. Since last couple of days, I have started missing her when she is not around. I don't know how to overcome this situation. I think she also has liking for me. Please advise what to do

Ans: If you choose to go ahead, then let her know and take things forward with her. Its clear you are attracted to her.

If you are attracted to your colleague and you believe that she is interested in you, then you may want to consider pursuing a relationship with her. However, it is important to be aware of the potential risks and consequences of doing so.

If you don't want to proceed with her, then start focusing on your hobbies, works, other interests.

If you are not interested in pursuing a relationship with your colleague, then it is important to set clear boundaries and focus on other aspects of your life. This may include spending more time with your family and friends, pursuing your hobbies, or focusing on your career.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to pursue a relationship with your colleague is up to you. However, it is important to weigh the potential risks and benefits before making a decision.

Mohit Arora S
Founder - Real Dating School

www.realdatingschool.com/1-1_call

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Ravi

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Asked by Anonymous - Oct 03, 2024
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I recently joined a new organisation and had developed a friendship with a new woman colleague who has joined new.Offlate I see her where she has huge crush on me.Iam married with 2 kids and she has got late marriage with 1 kid.I pick her and drop her often.I could sense she is mad and possessive on me and offlate I also intend in having crush on her and I couldn't live without seeing or speaking with her.We never opened out but I could sense from both of us feelings.We both have not opened up but not told in open but she always says you r so handsome etc.But tell me how to deal with this.I feel couldn't live without her.. Please suggest
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There are two issues I would like to address- first, you both are married. Second, you are assuming she has a crush on you. I do not know how you want to approach this 'crush' when you are in a legally committed relationship. In normal circumstances, I would've suggested getting verbal confirmation of your coworker's feelings first and then pursuing her, but in your case, how she feels does not even matter because you are not single; neither is she. The right course of action would be to reflect on your feelings and get to the root of them- why are you seeking these feelings outside of your marriage and what is lacking in it? Then have an open discussion with your wife and take it from there- you will have two options: work on your marriage, or opt for separation and then pursue any crush you want to. But before that, I cannot offer you any other advice.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

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Dear Mam I am a fifty year old man with a loving family. I was employed in a company which I left earlier. During COVID I was little stressed in another company on my job and I rejoined my earlier company. One of my female colleague who was in the earlier organisation during my first innings helped me to join the organisation and in my second innings we are the only two in the department. Naturally there are lots of conversations, communications, interactions related to work. She is around nine years younger than me and is unmarried. We used to share lots of moments in office like common topics, health, my family, friends, her parents, friends etc...apart from work. Gradually I started developing feelings for her. I have a notion that she also developed the same. There has neither been any physical intimacy nor joint outings outside office. But as you know both of us started to realise that I cannot sail in two boats at the same time and also she. We both share a very professional relation amongst us in the Office with boundaries and caution and rarely interact on issues other than office work. We still are the two in our department. Somehow I cannot delete the feelings for her from my mind and its more difficult as we are the only persons in our department and in constant touch for work But yes, I will never be able to leave my family. Please advise. Thanks and Regards,
Ans: Dear Rupannita,
You can't keep one leg at home and another in another place and expect both to work the way that you want.
You are attached to the family and that's the place you are going to feel happy as well. So, all these feelings for the other person; do evaluate what it's going to do to your peace of mind.
Feelings cannot be deleted as you said BUT whether you want to act on those feelings is a choice that you must make. See where your life moves hanging onto a parallel life!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
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Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 01, 2024

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Dear Mam I am a fifty year old man with a loving family. I was employed in a company which I left earlier. During COVID I was little stressed in another company on my job and I rejoined my earlier company. One of my female colleague who was in the earlier organisation during my first innings helped me to join the organisation and in my second innings we are the only two in the department. Naturally there are lots of conversations, communications, interactions related to work. She is around nine years younger than me and is unmarried. We used to share lots of moments in office like common topics, health, my family, friends, her parents, friends etc...apart from work. Gradually I started developing feelings for her. I have a notion that she also developed the same. There has neither been any physical intimacy nor joint outings outside office. But as you know both of us started to realise that I cannot sail in two boats at the same time and also she. Now we both share a very professional relation amongst us in the Office with boundaries and caution and rarely interact on issues other than office work. We still are the two in our department. Somehow I cannot delete the feelings for her from my mind and its more difficult as we are the only persons in our department and in constant touch for work But yes, I will never be able to leave my family. Please advise. Thanks and Regards,
Ans: The first step in addressing this is to recognize that feelings, while they can be powerful, do not define actions. You’ve already demonstrated a strong commitment to your family by maintaining boundaries and shifting your relationship with your colleague to a purely professional one. This shows a conscious effort to align your actions with your values, which is an important foundation.

It’s also important to reflect on what might have contributed to these feelings. They may not solely be about your colleague as a person but could also reflect unmet emotional needs, stress, or the appeal of a connection that feels easy and understanding during a challenging time in your life. Identifying these underlying factors can help you understand yourself better and redirect your energy toward strengthening your emotional connection with your family.

Managing the proximity with your colleague at work is understandably challenging. To maintain your professional relationship while protecting your personal boundaries, consider setting clear mental and emotional limits. Focus conversations strictly on work-related topics, avoid situations that might blur boundaries, and remind yourself regularly of your commitment to your family and the life you’ve built with them.

It might also help to channel the emotional energy you’ve felt toward this colleague into enhancing your relationship with your spouse. Reinvesting in your marriage—through shared activities, open communication, or even small gestures of affection—can help renew your bond and remind you of what is truly meaningful in your life.

If these feelings continue to linger and cause distress, speaking with a therapist or counselor could provide a safe space to process your emotions and explore strategies to cope. They can help you navigate this situation in a way that aligns with your values and preserves your emotional well-being.

The fact that you are seeking advice and prioritizing your family shows that you are deeply committed to doing the right thing. With time, effort, and self-awareness, you can navigate these emotions and maintain integrity in both your personal and professional life.

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7873 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 07, 2025

Money
Dear Sir, I'm single 28 years Male. Recently took loan of 40 lacs. Currently 31 lacs has been disbursement. EMI will be started in next months. My EMI is 35,100 and interest rate is 8.65% from PSU bank. Per month salarly is 1 lac. I'm confused that should focus on re-payment of loan as quickly as possible or remaining amount after expense + loan emi should be invested in mutual fund. Could you please help to understand more on it.
Ans: You are 28 years old and earning Rs. 1 lakh per month.

You have taken a loan of Rs. 40 lakh, with Rs. 31 lakh already disbursed.

Your EMI is Rs. 35,100 per month at an 8.65% interest rate.

You need clarity on whether to prepay the loan or invest in mutual funds.

Your financial decisions today will impact your long-term wealth and stability.

Key Factors to Consider
1. Interest Rate vs. Investment Returns
Your home loan interest rate is 8.65% per annum.

A well-diversified mutual fund portfolio can deliver higher long-term returns.

If investment returns exceed 8.65%, investing will build wealth faster than prepayment.

If returns are lower than 8.65%, prepayment will save more money in the long run.

The choice depends on your risk appetite and financial goals.

2. Liquidity and Emergency Fund
Loan prepayment reduces future liabilities but also locks up funds in the property.

Investing ensures liquidity, allowing easy access to funds if needed.

Before deciding, ensure you have an emergency fund of at least six months' expenses.

Emergency funds should be in liquid instruments, not tied to long-term investments.

3. Tax Benefits on Home Loan
Home loan interest payments offer tax deductions under Section 24(b) up to Rs. 2 lakh per year.

Principal repayment qualifies for deductions under Section 80C up to Rs. 1.5 lakh per year.

Prepaying the loan reduces tax benefits, while investments provide wealth creation.

Consider the tax impact before choosing prepayment over investment.

4. Future Financial Goals
List your short-term and long-term financial goals.

If planning major expenses in the next 3-5 years, maintaining liquidity is better.

If long-term wealth creation is the focus, investments can be prioritized over prepayment.

A balanced approach can ensure financial flexibility while reducing loan burden.

Pros and Cons of Loan Prepayment
Advantages of Loan Prepayment
Reduces total interest paid over the loan tenure.

Improves cash flow in the future by reducing EMI burden.

Provides peace of mind by becoming debt-free earlier.

Disadvantages of Loan Prepayment
Reduces liquidity, making it harder to manage unexpected expenses.

Leads to lower tax savings on interest payments.

Misses the opportunity to generate higher returns through investments.

Pros and Cons of Investing in Mutual Funds
Advantages of Investing
Has the potential to generate higher returns than loan interest rates.

Keeps your funds liquid and accessible for future needs.

Offers flexibility to diversify across asset classes.

Provides tax-efficient wealth creation in the long run.

Disadvantages of Investing
Market fluctuations can impact short-term returns.

Requires disciplined investing and a long-term perspective.

Returns are not guaranteed, unlike the fixed benefit of interest savings from prepayment.

Balanced Approach: Best of Both Worlds
Instead of fully prepaying or only investing, a balanced approach works best.

Allocate funds for prepayment and investments based on your financial priorities.

Consider prepaying small amounts yearly to reduce loan tenure without losing liquidity.

Continue investing systematically to build wealth alongside reducing debt.

Steps to Follow for an Optimal Decision
1. Build an Emergency Fund First
Save at least six months’ worth of expenses before considering prepayment or investment.

Keep this fund in a liquid asset like a savings account or liquid mutual fund.

2. Check Loan Prepayment Terms
Some banks charge penalties on prepayment, especially for fixed-rate loans.

Ensure there are no additional costs before making a decision.

If prepayment charges exist, investing may be a better option.

3. Invest in Mutual Funds for Long-Term Growth
Investing a portion of your surplus ensures wealth accumulation over time.

Choose diversified funds for a balance of growth and stability.

Invest systematically through SIPs to average out market volatility.

Regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner ensure professional fund management.

4. Make Partial Prepayments Annually
Instead of bulk prepayment, consider making small additional payments each year.

Even Rs. 1 lakh per year can significantly reduce loan tenure and interest burden.

This allows you to maintain liquidity while still reducing debt faster.

5. Reassess Your Strategy Periodically
Financial priorities change over time, so review your approach annually.

If interest rates increase, prioritize prepayment.

If market conditions favor investments, increase mutual fund contributions.

Stay flexible to maximize financial benefits.

Finally
Loan prepayment and investing both have their advantages.

A balanced approach ensures financial security and wealth creation.

Maintain an emergency fund before committing to either option.

Invest systematically to build long-term wealth.

Make small prepayments yearly to reduce the loan burden.

Review your strategy regularly to stay aligned with financial goals.

The right choice depends on your comfort with risk, tax benefits, and long-term objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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