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Ravi Mittal |469 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 04, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 03, 2024

Relationship

I recently joined a new organisation and had developed a friendship with a new woman colleague who has joined new.Offlate I see her where she has huge crush on me.Iam married with 2 kids and she has got late marriage with 1 kid.I pick her and drop her often.I could sense she is mad and possessive on me and offlate I also intend in having crush on her and I couldn't live without seeing or speaking with her.We never opened out but I could sense from both of us feelings.We both have not opened up but not told in open but she always says you r so handsome etc.But tell me how to deal with this.I feel couldn't live without her.. Please suggest

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There are two issues I would like to address- first, you both are married. Second, you are assuming she has a crush on you. I do not know how you want to approach this 'crush' when you are in a legally committed relationship. In normal circumstances, I would've suggested getting verbal confirmation of your coworker's feelings first and then pursuing her, but in your case, how she feels does not even matter because you are not single; neither is she. The right course of action would be to reflect on your feelings and get to the root of them- why are you seeking these feelings outside of your marriage and what is lacking in it? Then have an open discussion with your wife and take it from there- you will have two options: work on your marriage, or opt for separation and then pursue any crush you want to. But before that, I cannot offer you any other advice.

Best Wishes.

Relationship1Reply

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Mohit Arora | Answer |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 06, 2024Hindi

Relationship

I am 42 years old married who is woking at an establishment of a Public Sector company. I am holding a senior position. I have one female colleague who is of my age and married. She very frequently comes to my cabin and sits with me. She sits very close to me almost touching my body. She is very frank with me and discuss very personal things with me. She adores me a lot. Since last couple of days, I have started missing her when she is not around. I don't know how to overcome this situation. I think she also has liking for me. Please advise what to do

Ans: If you choose to go ahead, then let her know and take things forward with her. Its clear you are attracted to her.

If you are attracted to your colleague and you believe that she is interested in you, then you may want to consider pursuing a relationship with her. However, it is important to be aware of the potential risks and consequences of doing so.

If you don't want to proceed with her, then start focusing on your hobbies, works, other interests.

If you are not interested in pursuing a relationship with your colleague, then it is important to set clear boundaries and focus on other aspects of your life. This may include spending more time with your family and friends, pursuing your hobbies, or focusing on your career.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to pursue a relationship with your colleague is up to you. However, it is important to weigh the potential risks and benefits before making a decision.

Mohit Arora S
Founder - Real Dating School

www.realdatingschool.com/1-1_call

Ravi Mittal |469 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 29, 2024

Relationship

Hi ,Iam 42 year old male married having 2 kids.Last 6 m I come across a colleague who has joined in our organisation as we both have joined new.She is married at 37 and having a toddler.But in the last 6 m I don't know i have a serious couldn't term the right word but a feeling can't live without seeing you with her nor speaking with her.Domt know what it means to me.She is also reciprocating same kind what I feel.Seriously every passing day iam mad at her.She is also very close to me i drop her and she sits close to me etc..Seriously suggest me even in my teenage ,youth I was never like this..She is very nice so caring..

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it must be very exciting to feel these new emotions forming, but let me remind you that you are married, with two kids. If you want to act on these feelings, you need to come clean to your partner; let her decide if she wants to part ways with you or live her life with you knowing everything. But it is not morally correct to seek these romantic affections outside of your marriage. Put yourself in your wife's shoes; imagine if she was developing the same feelings for some other man behind your back. How would you feel? I hope this will help you make the right decision.

Best Wishes.

Anu Krishna |1402 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Question by Rupannita - Nov 16, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Dear Mam I am a fifty year old man with a loving family. I was employed in a company which I left earlier. During COVID I was little stressed in another company on my job and I rejoined my earlier company. One of my female colleague who was in the earlier organisation during my first innings helped me to join the organisation and in my second innings we are the only two in the department. Naturally there are lots of conversations, communications, interactions related to work. She is around nine years younger than me and is unmarried. We used to share lots of moments in office like common topics, health, my family, friends, her parents, friends etc...apart from work. Gradually I started developing feelings for her. I have a notion that she also developed the same. There has neither been any physical intimacy nor joint outings outside office. But as you know both of us started to realise that I cannot sail in two boats at the same time and also she. We both share a very professional relation amongst us in the Office with boundaries and caution and rarely interact on issues other than office work. We still are the two in our department. Somehow I cannot delete the feelings for her from my mind and its more difficult as we are the only persons in our department and in constant touch for work But yes, I will never be able to leave my family. Please advise. Thanks and Regards,

Ans: Dear Rupannita,
You can't keep one leg at home and another in another place and expect both to work the way that you want.
You are attached to the family and that's the place you are going to feel happy as well. So, all these feelings for the other person; do evaluate what it's going to do to your peace of mind.
Feelings cannot be deleted as you said BUT whether you want to act on those feelings is a choice that you must make. See where your life moves hanging onto a parallel life!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Kanchan Rai |442 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 01, 2024

Question by Rupannita - Nov 25, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Dear Mam I am a fifty year old man with a loving family. I was employed in a company which I left earlier. During COVID I was little stressed in another company on my job and I rejoined my earlier company. One of my female colleague who was in the earlier organisation during my first innings helped me to join the organisation and in my second innings we are the only two in the department. Naturally there are lots of conversations, communications, interactions related to work. She is around nine years younger than me and is unmarried. We used to share lots of moments in office like common topics, health, my family, friends, her parents, friends etc...apart from work. Gradually I started developing feelings for her. I have a notion that she also developed the same. There has neither been any physical intimacy nor joint outings outside office. But as you know both of us started to realise that I cannot sail in two boats at the same time and also she. Now we both share a very professional relation amongst us in the Office with boundaries and caution and rarely interact on issues other than office work. We still are the two in our department. Somehow I cannot delete the feelings for her from my mind and its more difficult as we are the only persons in our department and in constant touch for work But yes, I will never be able to leave my family. Please advise. Thanks and Regards,

Ans: The first step in addressing this is to recognize that feelings, while they can be powerful, do not define actions. You’ve already demonstrated a strong commitment to your family by maintaining boundaries and shifting your relationship with your colleague to a purely professional one. This shows a conscious effort to align your actions with your values, which is an important foundation.

It’s also important to reflect on what might have contributed to these feelings. They may not solely be about your colleague as a person but could also reflect unmet emotional needs, stress, or the appeal of a connection that feels easy and understanding during a challenging time in your life. Identifying these underlying factors can help you understand yourself better and redirect your energy toward strengthening your emotional connection with your family.

Managing the proximity with your colleague at work is understandably challenging. To maintain your professional relationship while protecting your personal boundaries, consider setting clear mental and emotional limits. Focus conversations strictly on work-related topics, avoid situations that might blur boundaries, and remind yourself regularly of your commitment to your family and the life you’ve built with them.

It might also help to channel the emotional energy you’ve felt toward this colleague into enhancing your relationship with your spouse. Reinvesting in your marriage—through shared activities, open communication, or even small gestures of affection—can help renew your bond and remind you of what is truly meaningful in your life.

If these feelings continue to linger and cause distress, speaking with a therapist or counselor could provide a safe space to process your emotions and explore strategies to cope. They can help you navigate this situation in a way that aligns with your values and preserves your emotional well-being.

The fact that you are seeking advice and prioritizing your family shows that you are deeply committed to doing the right thing. With time, effort, and self-awareness, you can navigate these emotions and maintain integrity in both your personal and professional life.

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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2024Hindi

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Hi, I was working for a pvt company for 24 years. I am no longer working with them now. My PF amount is lying in the trust formed by the same company. How long can i leave PF amount with them & still get paid for interest. Please suggest?

Ans: Hello;

As per rules, upto 55+3(grace)=58 years.

But I would recommend you to withdraw it and reinvest it in NPS or transfer it to your new employer, if any.

Best wishes;

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Question by jitendra - Dec 17, 2024Hindi

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I have invested in axis small cap it is performing very well why, please answer.

Ans: Hello;

What is the time frame for which you believe the performance of Axis small cap fund is very well?

Have you reviewed it's performance vis-a-vis the category average and the benchmark for the chosen time frame?

If you do this exercise you will get your answer.

But please keep in mind the risk of investing in smallcaps is the highest.

Kindly review your asset allocation and rebalance if required.

Best wishes;

Mihir Tanna |975 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tax Expert - Answered on Dec 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2024Hindi

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Dear Mihir, I am a senior citizen. I am having Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS) account with Union Bank. In spite of my repeatd emails, the bank has not updated either the TDS on AIS and 26AS till date (17 Jun 24). I am eligible for TDS refund to be claimed in ITR filing. I need to file ITR for AY 24-25. How can I file ITR and claim the TDS.

Ans: You should claim TDS actually deducted even though same is not appearing in 26AS. Keep written communications with TDS deductors.

Unfortunately, said issue will be litigative and you will not get TDS credit at the time of processing ITR. It is likely that you have to file appeal before CIT(A) and get the credit.

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Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi

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Sir, I am an NRI. Besides my non resident salaries, I have some income of Rs 180k p.a. From rent and around Rs100k interest earning in India. I have a housing loan NRO where the interest payment is Rs 9 lakhs pa. Do I have to still file my returns . How much tax I have to pay.

Ans: You can opt for new tax regime and as per which your taxable income is below exemption limit of Rs.3 lacs, so you are not required to file income tax return unless any of the following conditions are applicable

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Expense > 1 L for Electricity
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Sir, My NSC interest is reflecting in AIS. I am going to fill return as per new tax regime. May I pay tax on NSC interest at maturity or its mandatory to pay tax every year on accrued interest? If I can pay tax at maturity then how to treat AIS report?

Ans: Income from other sources can be offered to tax in accordance with either cash or mercantile system of accounting regularly employed. So you can offer it on maturity but practically it is difficult to manage AIS report.

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Question by Chandran - Jul 14, 2024Hindi

Money

Sir, I have the following two problems in ITR-2 filing. 1. There are wrong figures in my AIS which is not a part of the 26AS. Quite a few corrections are needed in AIS. (example Rs.6040 in place of 1040). In the "feedback" window, earlier there was a provision to click "Information is not fully correct" with which one could at least indicate a mistake. Now it is conveniently removed and one is left with no alternatives to point out an error. Can you please guide me how to proceed? 2. For a mistake in 26AS, I contacted the Deductor Co. and explained orally and also in writing but they simply did not respond. I am just hoping that they will do the needed correction within the few days available as on today. If they do not act, is there a way out?

Ans: I just checked income tax portal for one of our client and option "Information is not fully correct" is still available.

Also with reference to 26AS issue, you can file grievance at eNivaran option available at income tax portal

Dr Anshuman Manaswi |14 Answers |Ask -Follow

Plastic-Aesthetic Surgeon, Emergency Care Consultant - Answered on Dec 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi

Health

Doctor, my daughter is 22 years old, and she was born with a cleft lip that was operated on when she was a baby. The surgery went well, but there’s still a faint scar and some asymmetry that becomes noticeable in photos or under makeup. We’re now planning for her wedding, so she’s feeling very self-conscious about her appearance. Is there anything that can be done at this stage to improve the appearance of her lip? Are there advanced treatments or minor surgeries available that could help smooth the scar or create better balance? Because of the wedding, we are on a tight budget. Can you suggest options that might work for us, both in terms of cost and recovery time? We want her to look her best and be happy on her big day.

Ans: There are options of scar correction, but we must check whether the result after such correction will be better than a FAINT scar.
Best to see a plastic surgeon with some experience

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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 14, 2024Hindi

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Hi Experts, Im 30 male from bangalore working in IT Field.Ive kid 1.6old and my is house wife. I would like to check if my current financial approach is correct or need any changes please suggest. My Goal is to have retirement corpus 2cr and ensure my Daughter education atleast 50L-1Cr. Below is my current investments EPF:210000(Both mine and employer contibution so far) SSY on my daughter name:24k(2k per month) SIP:109000(16K Per month)(Current value 120000) Stock investment:73K(Current value 81K) LIC:45K(Paid for 4years, total maturity yeas i 25y, premium to be paid till 16years) Emergency fund: 1L( accumulating it to 2.5 as monthly RD of 10k) And I have term insurance for 1cr. Health insurance im currently having company provided insurance only. My Inhand currently is 75K, Ill be getting 1L from jan month. Considering the above investments and salary what would be my best approach to achieve the Goals I mentioned? And I some how feel LIC investment doesnt feel OK considering the inflation but at the same time I dont want to totally invest in stock market due to voltality. So Is it good to continue in LIC or any other investment option we csn go for other than LIC. Please advise how to achieve above goals.

Ans: please start a SIP in mutual funds for your daughters education and your retirement. The goal should long term only.

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Entrepreneurship Expert - Answered on Dec 17, 2024

Question by Mohammad - Oct 17, 2024Hindi

Career

Sir/madam My son is an MBA and wants to establish a cafe. Kindly guide. Regards

Ans: It's great to hear that your son is planning to open a cafe. With his MBA knowledge and entrepreneurial spirit, he has a strong foundation to build a successful venture. Here are some steps to guide him.

First,
He must decide on a unique concept for the cafe that will set it apart from others. Whether it is a cozy space for book lovers, a health-focused menu, or a modern cafe with a tech-friendly vibe, having a clear vision will attract the right customers. Additionally, researching the market to understand customer preferences, competition, and pricing trends is important to create a viable business plan.

Encourage him to prepare a detailed business plan that includes his vision, projected budget, marketing strategy, and operational plans. Choosing the right location with good visibility and foot traffic will be crucial to the cafe's success. He will also need to obtain the necessary licenses and permits, such as food safety approval and business registration, to operate legally.

Next,
Focus should be on creating a strong brand identity with a memorable name, logo, and interior design. Offering high-quality ingredients and a menu with a mix of unique and popular items will help build a loyal customer base. Excellent customer service and a welcoming atmosphere will further enhance the visitor experience.

And the last,
He should leverage MBA skills to manage finances effectively and use digital marketing and social media to promote the cafe. With proper planning and dedication, cafe can become a thriving business.

Wishing her all the best in this exciting journey!

Anu Krishna |1402 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2024Hindi

Relationship

We had been Dating since our College days & had a Love Marriage almost 2 Decades ago. My Wife had always been the Dominant one in the Relationship, while I had always been Soft-spoken. She is also much more Capable than me, in terms of Academic as well as Professional Competence, and also very Ambitious. These are some of the Qualities which I always admired in her. Over the years of our Marriage, I had to Compromise on my own Professional Growth, in order to support her Professional Growth. She has a Transferable Job, so I have taken up a Work-from-Home Job which pays much lesser, but allows more flexibility in timings, just to support her Professional Growth, I had given up much better opportunities. I have been literally living like a Stay-at-Home Husband, doing almost all the Household chores & also taking care of both our Children. I have no complaints about any of this, I am doing all this, just because I Love my Wife. My Wife too Loves me a lot, but doesn't seem to Respect me. She feels ashamed to introduce me to her Colleagues in her Office Parties. She often puts me down, in the presence of her Friends & Relatives. She asks others (her Friends, Colleagues & Relatives) for advice, even in matters relating to our Personal Life & gives more importance to their Opinions, compared to mine & has taken several big Decisions, without my Consent/Agreement. She doesn't bother telling me anything about her whereabouts & her Finances. While at Home, she Orders me around like a Boss & talks to me in a Condescending manner. Seeing her attitude, even our Servant Maid, Driver, Watchman & our Teenaged Children also don't treat me with due Respect. Our Neighbours, laugh at me behind my back. I have been Tolerating all this since many Years only because I Love my Wife so much. Many times, I tried to convey my concerns to her but she used to invalidate my feelings, labelling them as my 'Insecurity' or 'Male Ego' even though I never had either of those. She seems to have more time for her Partying with her Colleagues & Friends, rather than having a Productive Discussion with me about my Feelings. Now I am feeling Saturated. I need to do something to Earn Respect from my Wife, Children & the Society as I have realised that my Wife is not up for anything like Couples Counseling & I wouldn't be able to discuss my Feelings with anyone else (almost everyone I know, Respects her more than me). Please give me some Suggestions as to what can I do to become more Respectable in the Eyes of my Wife, Children & our Social Circle?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's heart warming to know that you eased into a role that usually can be not a very 'manly' thing to do. But I guess somewhere your wife has begun to enjoy her dominant status; let me tell you...that part is not easy on a man...
You just adapted to it and slowly, it has begun to erode your self-esteem...
Assume the role that will bring back your self-worth; this will mean actually a career, bringing money home, taking care of your responsibilities as a husband and father. This will also mean a step back from what you are doing at home now...
Your wife may not want the extra chores that you had to drop off and there's bound to be some skirmishes; but better to take all this head on rather than skirt around the issue.
Slowly and steadily inch towards a space where the two of you are equal partners without anyone dominating the other.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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