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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2022

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Anonymous Question by Anonymous on Oct 03, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Love Guru 
I am 4 ft 8 inches, age 27 yrs and I work in the admin department of a leading MNC. I am the only daughter to my parents and they want me to get married soon. So far I have rejected at least 15 men because they are either too elder to me or have unreasonable expectations from me as a future wife. An equal number of them have rejected me because I am short and earn less than Rs 30,000 per month. I don't have a boyfriend either. My parents are getting worried and I am feeling depressed and hopeless. I don't know what to do. Pls help. 

Ans:

If you think you're feeling depressed and hopeless now, just because you haven't found someone at 27, wait till you're trapped in an unhappy marriage with someone because you were in such a silly rush to get hitched!

Unreasonable expectations from a wife I can understand, but age is just a number. So, if you're attracted to someone, don't consider age enough of a reason to turn him down unless he's some 60-year-old uncle that wears a toupee. It's as superficial as someone turning you down because you're so short.

I would suggest you get off this fast train you're on and just take things slowly.

People today think nothing of getting married at 35 and having kids at 40; you have a long way to go still!

I know more than a couple of women who rushed into marriage for the same reasons as you -- they thought they were aging, other friends were getting married, they wanted to settle down like everyone else, etc. They got divorced eventually and remarried. In their 30s!

 

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I am a 40 year old unmarried male from a big metropolitan city. I am unable to find suitable Alliance to get married. I stay with my parents. I guess none of girls today are willing to stay with in-laws. Also, i cannot leave my parents alone as they are old without retirement benefits and completely dependent on me. Due to this i have become a topic of discussion/joke among colleagues in office as well as friends. This is killing me slowly day by day. I have become depressed no self esteem and goal in life. Need some advice on how survive.
Ans: Dear Ajay,
I appreciate that you care for your parents and are truly willing to be there for them. But, if it has begun to affect the course of your life, you must ask yourself: What can I do where I can care for my parents and also make a life for myself?
Most often we get stuck in a problem, thinking that there are no solutions. There are no solutions because we fail to ask ourselves the right questions which enable us to look for solutions.
You do not have to sacrifice your life to care for your parents and at the same time, you are right that in this day and age, not every woman wants to live in a joint family system.
Know this as a fact and now ACT.
1. What is it that I want at age 40 in my personal life beyond caring for my parents?
2. What can I do to make that happen? Have I tried every trick in the book to accomplish that?
3. What will stop me from building my personal life?

Answer these in all honesty and tell yourself: Anything is possible as long as I put my mind to it!
Also take solace in the fact that your parents also want to see you happy. Who knows; if you sat them down and actually told them of your dilemma, they might be able to support you as well...

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 09, 2024Hindi
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Hie I need an advice about marriage, I am 28 years old and wants to marry a guy who is younger than me, however earns good salary. Also we are from different caste. I am afraid of having conversation about this with my parents and also I am confused that how to have this conversation with my parents. He loves me a lot and always support me. Also i got engaged with different person (arranged marriage), however that person broke the engagement and now I wont be able to trust and give chance to a new person to come into my life.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why exactly did you get engaged with someone else when you say that you are in love with another person?
I don't get this...Have the conversation with you parents stating clearly what you want. Yes, your parents will and might oppose it for whatever reason, but if you and the boy are serious, then pursue it...
Then where is the question of a new person coming and your trusting etc. From your email/letter, one thing is clear to me is that: you have no idea what you want. You love someone and say that you want to marry him and then you go and get engaged to someone else and now you are wondering if you can trust someone new.
What is going on? What happens to your 'guy'? Are you serious about that relationship at all?
I think you really need to first sit and have a conversation with yourself and then talk to your parents, yeah?

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hi, i am navin 33 years old never had a girl friend still date. let me tell you about my self. i am 5.45 ft 164 cm and with shoes close to 5.5 ft. i am obese will come to it later. i am a ba hons graduate in game design and hold two post graduate diplomas one in game programming and one in digital marketing. I have my own video game studio where i make video games. my mom owns two business one is a advertising agency in chennai and one is a imported teak furniture store in bangalore. my dad after his retirement working in an different advertising agency helps my mom in her furniture store. since i live with my parents i do investing and options trading as well. my mom is a malyali and dad is a telgu. even though obese and i am brown/fair compared to others in india. i am on matrimony and on dating, dating been there for a long time and matrimony from October 2021. still now i haven't gotten a single proper match when i send a request its a immediate reject for all the reasons above i can handle the rejection that doesn't bother me but there are times people immediately block me on what's app or my profile on matrimony or dating. it is frustrating and sad what should i do? how should i move on
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I understand that it can be frustrating, but as you mentioned, do not take any of these rejections personally. The flaw is not in you, it's in their mindset. Now, what are the things that you can do? First thing, why don't you write about yourself in your bio just like the way you did here? It gives people a fair idea of who you are and also an amazing glimpse at the fact that you are transparent and genuine. You do not mean to mislead anyone. These traits are not easy to find in today's world.

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Resected Madam, I am a 72 years male . I had undergone left hemicolectomy with diversion ileostomy ( open "Surgery" )for carcinoma descending colon on 23 March,2024 and the stoma closure was done on 17th July,2024. As per the consultant Oncologist the carcinoma was localized , did not spread to other parts of the body and I was not advised to undergone chemotherapy etc for the same reason. Kindly advise which Yoga postures I can practice now to ease constipation and also the yoga postures I must not / avoid now. With Kind Regards,
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Asked by Anonymous - Oct 22, 2024Hindi
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Avenues for BSc Honors Botany 3rd year
Ans: Lakshmi, Some of the options for you choose from:

Higher Education and Specialization:
• MSc in Botany or Plant Sciences: Deepens expertise in botany.
• MSc in Environmental Science or Ecology: Expands study to ecosystems, conservation, and biodiversity.
• MSc in Biotechnology or Microbiology: Opens up industrial, research, and healthcare opportunities.
• MBA in Agribusiness or Environmental Management: Combines botany with business skills.
• MSc in Horticulture or Forestry: Specialized programs focused on plant cultivation, forest conservation.

Government Jobs:
• Botanist or Environmental Scientist: Positions in government research bodies.
• Agriculture Officer or Horticulture Officer: Roles in the Department of Agriculture or Horticulture.

Research and Academia:
• Junior Research Fellowships (JRF): Offers stipends to work in research labs, universities, and government projects.
• Teaching in Schools or Colleges: With a Master’s degree, qualified for assistant professor roles or school teaching jobs.
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Industry and Corporate Jobs:
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