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Navin, a 33-year-old single man, seeks advice on overcoming dating rejection and finding a partner.

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |584 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 21, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Navin Question by Navin on Jul 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

hi, i am navin 33 years old never had a girl friend still date. let me tell you about my self. i am 5.45 ft 164 cm and with shoes close to 5.5 ft. i am obese will come to it later. i am a ba hons graduate in game design and hold two post graduate diplomas one in game programming and one in digital marketing. I have my own video game studio where i make video games. my mom owns two business one is a advertising agency in chennai and one is a imported teak furniture store in bangalore. my dad after his retirement working in an different advertising agency helps my mom in her furniture store. since i live with my parents i do investing and options trading as well. my mom is a malyali and dad is a telgu. even though obese and i am brown/fair compared to others in india. i am on matrimony and on dating, dating been there for a long time and matrimony from October 2021. still now i haven't gotten a single proper match when i send a request its a immediate reject for all the reasons above i can handle the rejection that doesn't bother me but there are times people immediately block me on what's app or my profile on matrimony or dating. it is frustrating and sad what should i do? how should i move on

Ans: Dear Navin,

I understand that it can be frustrating, but as you mentioned, do not take any of these rejections personally. The flaw is not in you, it's in their mindset. Now, what are the things that you can do? First thing, why don't you write about yourself in your bio just like the way you did here? It gives people a fair idea of who you are and also an amazing glimpse at the fact that you are transparent and genuine. You do not mean to mislead anyone. These traits are not easy to find in today's world.

Next, I am glad to see that you are not conscious about your obesity but it isn't really a healthy way to live. If there is no underlying disease causing the weight gain, you can start working on it. Don't do it to impress women and get a date; do it for yourself. Working on improving your health is a wonderful quality and many women appreciate that.

Lastly, look for people with the same personality type, similar likes and dislikes, shared values, and so on for a smoother interaction. Just keep trying. Finding love can take some time. It will happen for sure.

Best Wishes.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2022

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Dear Love Guru  I am 4 ft 8 inches, age 27 yrs and I work in the admin department of a leading MNC. I am the only daughter to my parents and they want me to get married soon. So far I have rejected at least 15 men because they are either too elder to me or have unreasonable expectations from me as a future wife. An equal number of them have rejected me because I am short and earn less than Rs 30,000 per month. I don't have a boyfriend either. My parents are getting worried and I am feeling depressed and hopeless. I don't know what to do. Pls help. 
Ans:

If you think you're feeling depressed and hopeless now, just because you haven't found someone at 27, wait till you're trapped in an unhappy marriage with someone because you were in such a silly rush to get hitched!

Unreasonable expectations from a wife I can understand, but age is just a number. So, if you're attracted to someone, don't consider age enough of a reason to turn him down unless he's some 60-year-old uncle that wears a toupee. It's as superficial as someone turning you down because you're so short.

I would suggest you get off this fast train you're on and just take things slowly.

People today think nothing of getting married at 35 and having kids at 40; you have a long way to go still!

I know more than a couple of women who rushed into marriage for the same reasons as you -- they thought they were aging, other friends were getting married, they wanted to settle down like everyone else, etc. They got divorced eventually and remarried. In their 30s!

 

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |584 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I'm soon to be 36 M, unmarried and never had any relationship in all my years, I have registered myself with many matrimony sites and have been searching for a girl or maybe a woman now, for last 5 or 6 years. My problem is that most girls in matrimonial reject me out right for reason like looks, money/property, age, etc, now I have asked some of my friends discreetly about my looks and I'm very confident about myself, also I know I do earn good bucks, despite that I don't understand what could be possible reason to not even have a single conversation before they reject someone. I have even tried my hands on dating apps, but I have not had success there as well. Some time I feel worthless and have breakdowns because of this. I don't have anyone to share this with and I know no one cares about it anyway as everyone has their own problem and you will be the last thing in their mind. I know the answer I'm going to get here - "keep trying", "life is not fair" etc, but I feel this is total crap, why does no women want a man who would respect her and care for her, why cry later for justice, domestic violence and cheating. After all this, I'm losing hope that I'll find my or any love in this world.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I agree what's happening to you is not fair, and however you are feeling right now, it is valid. But having said that, you can't justify saying "why cry later for justice, domestic violence and cheating." These are entirely different and serious matters. Do not trivialize them. Rejecting a man who would've loved her does not automatically mean the woman deserves to find a man who should cheat, beat, or abuse her.

Now, coming to your issue, rejection comes for several reasons; it doesn't necessarily have to do anything with your appearance. Since you mentioned getting rejected even before a conversation, my first guess would be that the profile might not be standing out in the crowd of profiles out there. You can try adding hints of humor to your BIO to make it more attractive. Use the 70-30 method in your Bio, where 70% of it showcases you as a person and the remaining 30 subtly indicates your version of an ideal partner. Additionally, try optimizing your DP and select something that shows your fun side.

But I would like to remind you that not everyone's love story runs at the same pace; some take time to start. I know you think it's cliched but people say it because it has truth to it- keep going; I am sure you will find someone.

Best Wishes.

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8335 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2025
Money
Hello Sir - I am 52 years old and I have taken a break from my career. I currently have around 6 Crores worth of savings - 2 Crs in Equity and 4 Crs in FD. In addition, I have 2 residential houses and a farm plot all totalling around 4 Crores. No loan exposure. Anticipated expenses in future - daughter's higher studies in Europe after 6 years. Can you please advise me on the ideal portfolio construction.
Ans: You have taken smart and timely financial decisions so far.

Your present financial standing is strong and commendable.
No loans, good asset mix, and clarity on future needs.

Let’s now structure your investment portfolio with long-term clarity.
We will look at stability, growth, liquidity, and future goals.

Understanding Your Current Position
You have Rs. 6 crores in financial investments.

Rs. 2 crores in equity.

Rs. 4 crores in fixed deposits.

Additional Rs. 4 crores in real estate.

No loan liabilities.

Future key goal: Daughter’s higher studies in Europe in 6 years.

Your priority is to protect capital, generate growth, and stay liquid.
Your strategy should also aim at tax-efficiency and simplicity.

Key Investment Objectives
Preserve your existing capital base.

Provide for daughter’s overseas education.

Build a steady long-term wealth creation portfolio.

Maintain enough liquidity for emergencies.

Balance growth with lower downside risk.

Keep taxation under control with efficient planning.

Suggested Asset Allocation
Let us now assess an ideal mix.

20% in Fixed Income instruments.

60% in Actively Managed Mutual Funds.

10% in Emergency and Ultra Short-Term Funds.

10% in Gold and Sovereign Gold Bonds.

This structure is balanced, growth-oriented, and liquidity-ready.
You already have real estate, so no fresh allocation there.

Repositioning Your Existing Portfolio
You already hold Rs. 4 crores in FDs.
FDs are safe but returns barely beat inflation.

Consider breaking Rs. 2.5 crores from FDs.

Reinvest in better-performing asset classes.

You have Rs. 2 crores in equity.
We assume this is in direct equity or past mutual fund investments.

Shift from direct equity to actively managed mutual funds.

They offer professional fund management.

Diversification across sectors brings better long-term results.

Helps reduce stock-specific risks.

Please avoid index funds.

Index funds blindly follow the market.

They lack flexibility and active monitoring.

They fail to outperform in volatile or sideways markets.

Actively managed funds offer better risk-adjusted returns.

If you are currently investing in direct funds, be cautious.

Direct plans lack personalised advice.

Choosing wrong funds can affect returns heavily.

Regular funds through an MFD with CFP credential offer guidance.

Continuous monitoring and rebalancing are also provided.

In your case, a Certified Financial Planner can help align the portfolio
with your family’s unique life goals and risk capacity.

Detailed Portfolio Construction Plan
1. Fixed Income Allocation – 20%
Allocate Rs. 1.2 crores to debt mutual funds.

Choose high-quality short-term or corporate bond funds.

Keep the duration under 3 years for safety.

Avoid FDs for long term due to lower returns.

Debt funds are more tax-efficient after 3 years.

Be mindful of the new tax rule:
Debt fund gains are taxed as per your income slab.

So, debt funds offer better post-tax returns only
if held with smart timing and product choice.

2. Actively Managed Mutual Funds – 60%
Allocate Rs. 3.6 crores gradually in equity mutual funds.

Choose a blend of multi-cap, flexi-cap, and large-mid cap funds.

Add some exposure to thematic or sectoral funds for growth.

SIP route is ideal for phased exposure.

This diversified equity allocation brings long-term wealth creation.
You also reduce timing risk with regular investments.

The mutual fund mix should be carefully curated
based on your risk profile and goal horizon.

Please ensure a Certified Financial Planner monitors this portfolio
and rebalances every 6 to 12 months.

3. Emergency and Contingency Allocation – 10%
Keep Rs. 60 lakhs in ultra-short term and liquid funds.

This covers 24+ months of monthly household expenses.

Provides quick access for health and personal emergencies.

Avoid using this for investments or lifestyle spends.

This fund should remain untouched except for real emergencies.

4. Gold and Sovereign Gold Bonds – 10%
Invest Rs. 60 lakhs in Sovereign Gold Bonds.

They offer 2.5% annual interest plus gold value appreciation.

Held for 8 years, they are tax-free on maturity.

Ideal for diversification and long-term safety.

Avoid physical gold due to purity and storage risks.
Avoid gold ETFs due to expense ratio and no added interest.

Special Planning for Daughter’s Higher Studies
This is a clear and high-value goal.
Timeline is 6 years, so you can take some calculated risk.

Start a separate mutual fund portfolio for this goal.

Allocate Rs. 1 crore gradually into hybrid and balanced funds.

Use 3-4 year SIP/STP mode to reduce risk.

In the fifth year, begin shifting to ultra-short-term debt funds.
This ensures capital safety before the actual outflow.

Avoid touching this portfolio for any other purpose.
Mark this as “Dedicated for Education Purpose” for clarity.

Real Estate Holding Review
You already own two houses and one farm plot.
This is already 40% of your net worth.

No need to invest further in real estate.

Maintain only one house for self-use.

Other properties can be retained for legacy or rental income.
Do not consider real estate for cash flow or liquidity.

Keep property papers and title clear.
Maintain up-to-date valuation documents and insurance.

Key Risk Management Steps
Take a Rs. 25 lakh family floater health insurance.

Add super top-up for extra cover.

Keep your term insurance active till age 60.

Ensure proper nominations in all investments.

Make a registered Will and keep it updated.

Joint holding in major investments ensures easy access.

Risk management avoids surprises.
This is as critical as choosing good investments.

Tax Management & Compliance
Use the new capital gains tax rule wisely.

Equity MF LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term capital gains on equity are taxed at 20%.

Debt MF gains are taxed as per your slab.

Plan redemption dates carefully to reduce tax outgo.

Keep a simple tracker for each investment and its tax impact.
A Chartered Accountant can assist you every March for tax planning.

Review and Monitoring
Review the portfolio every 6 months.

Check for underperformance in any scheme.

Rebalance based on market changes or life changes.

Avoid panic-based decisions during market falls.

Periodic reviews are key to financial health.
A Certified Financial Planner can help simplify this review.

Finally
Your current standing is financially strong.
You have saved well and kept liabilities away.

A structured investment plan will now build on this base.
You can now enjoy peace of mind with clarity and control.

Your daughter's education can be fully supported.
Your own future lifestyle can be secured.

This 360-degree solution focuses on growth, safety, and simplicity.

Keep investing with discipline.
Stay guided with professional help.
Keep all financial documents well organised.

Wishing you lifelong financial freedom and happiness.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |154 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on May 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 11, 2025
Relationship
Hi Shalini ji I was in a serious relationship for 6 years with a boy whom I met on the 1st day of my college. He was from a different caste. Hence when my parents got to know they disapproved of it very strictly so I knew it wasnt going to work that easily. After sometime they started asking to get married. It was an ultimate pressure while we both were preparing for some government exams. I went through utter confusion and I got stuck between trying to study and at the same time thinking about my future with him. I was pressurised by my family including my brother and parents to leave him. Meanwhile I decided to not to carry it forward because I couldn't leave my parents for whole life to be with him because it was either him or my family. I lost all the focus towards my studies due to this decision and also started talking to some other boy (he was from my own caste accidently) whom I met accidentally at an exam centre for comfort. I got a brief moments of happiness with him. I confide my pain in him. Suddenly something happened in my family ,between my parents. And my mother started acting like you can choose your own partner for life because somehow she lost trust on my father. She even was comfortable with my brother's marriage with the one whom he loves. Now I feel completely betrayed because for them I left love of my life and got into another relationship with the boy I met at an exam center ( which now I feel was a hasty decision as I felt alone and depressed). Now no one talks about my real love and what i think about it for the future. I am in a complete state of repentance. I feel like I betrayed him. Now when i think of getting back to him I hesitate a lot because I think that I took a wrong decision due to the pressure and under stress. The person I am with now, I feel is not what I wanted as a partner and I feel that he is not mentally supportive. I wnat to leave him as well. What should I do now to be happy?
Ans: 1. Happiness is in your hand
2. You sound like an adult, over 21 and someone who knows what is right and what is not - so take action
3. If you are not happy in your current relationship, come out of it.
4. If you wish to reconnect with your earlier partner do so, but keep in mind he may not be single and if he is he will not be how you knew him, as in he will come with his own experience of life.

all the best.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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