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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |142 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on May 13, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi I'm 32+ years old I'm quite chubby that's why didn't get any life partner most of gentlemenans are under qualified or their family is not good they are rejected me so I'm totally fade up now and relatives are also asking about marriage and they are telling. I'm choosy why I'm searching much ..I dnt know what's their problem pls suggest

Ans: So there are 2 concerns as I read (1) you are on the chubbier side (2) men being introduced to you don't match your education requirement and those who do are not taking it ahead for reason #1. Well you are the owner of your life - (1) can you look at correcting your weight if the increase is not due to medical reason. COrrect it not to marry but to feel healthy and fit (2) Look out for partners yourself vs completely relying on others to introduce you to. Look at attending single meetups. Google for them. And its ok to be choosy - after all its a life decision that you are making.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2022

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Relationship
Dear Love Guru  I am 4 ft 8 inches, age 27 yrs and I work in the admin department of a leading MNC. I am the only daughter to my parents and they want me to get married soon. So far I have rejected at least 15 men because they are either too elder to me or have unreasonable expectations from me as a future wife. An equal number of them have rejected me because I am short and earn less than Rs 30,000 per month. I don't have a boyfriend either. My parents are getting worried and I am feeling depressed and hopeless. I don't know what to do. Pls help. 
Ans:

If you think you're feeling depressed and hopeless now, just because you haven't found someone at 27, wait till you're trapped in an unhappy marriage with someone because you were in such a silly rush to get hitched!

Unreasonable expectations from a wife I can understand, but age is just a number. So, if you're attracted to someone, don't consider age enough of a reason to turn him down unless he's some 60-year-old uncle that wears a toupee. It's as superficial as someone turning you down because you're so short.

I would suggest you get off this fast train you're on and just take things slowly.

People today think nothing of getting married at 35 and having kids at 40; you have a long way to go still!

I know more than a couple of women who rushed into marriage for the same reasons as you -- they thought they were aging, other friends were getting married, they wanted to settle down like everyone else, etc. They got divorced eventually and remarried. In their 30s!

 

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |508 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 11, 2024

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Hello Sir/Ma'am, Myself Sachin. Basically I'm from Thrissur (Kerala) where I born. But in terms of education, I did my schooling & colleges from Pune (Maharashtra). My DOB is 30th October 1984. So right now I'm 39. Till now I'm single trying to get a life partner to have a good understanding since 7 years. However, no one I got yet. Even I tried dating through online dating app called quack quack where sometimes I get a positive responses. But later on, that relationship doesn't prolongs. In this situation, what shall I do to have a good life partner? Right now I reside in Coimbatore (Tamilnadu) with my parents in one of the senior citizen complex. In terms of education I did my BBA from Delhi University. Also have work experience into customer support voice process for about 9 years. Currently I run my business as a photostat in Coimbatore.
Ans: Hi Sachin,

I understand that dating can sometimes be very frustrating. You have every right to start wondering whether it will work or not. Since you have already tried dating apps and even had a positive experience, I would ask you to recognize that as a win first. Second, let me share some tips with you that might help you find the right kind of matches:

- Write a detailed and attractive Bio. What should it include? 40% about yourself- your education, your quirks and habits, likes and preferences, and everything that makes you you. 10% about what you can offer as a partner. 10% about the type of relationship you want. Do you want to date exclusively, or are you looking for casual? Are you looking to get married or long-term dating? Mention it clearly to attract the right matches. The remaining 40% should be about the kind of person you want to date. Your idea of a perfect partner. It would save you a lot of time and energy on the relationships that start strong but eventually fizzle out.

- The display picture can play an important role. Always pick a recent and clear image to never mislead anyone. Choose an image that shows you in your element, preferably smiling because that makes you seem warm and welcoming. Refrain from over-editing.

- Another important step is the first message. Write a detailed and personalized first message instead of a Hi.

Other than this, I would ask you to have patience. Regardless of the mode of dating, finding the right partner can take time in certain instances. Good things take time.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |508 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 21, 2024

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Relationship
hi, i am navin 33 years old never had a girl friend still date. let me tell you about my self. i am 5.45 ft 164 cm and with shoes close to 5.5 ft. i am obese will come to it later. i am a ba hons graduate in game design and hold two post graduate diplomas one in game programming and one in digital marketing. I have my own video game studio where i make video games. my mom owns two business one is a advertising agency in chennai and one is a imported teak furniture store in bangalore. my dad after his retirement working in an different advertising agency helps my mom in her furniture store. since i live with my parents i do investing and options trading as well. my mom is a malyali and dad is a telgu. even though obese and i am brown/fair compared to others in india. i am on matrimony and on dating, dating been there for a long time and matrimony from October 2021. still now i haven't gotten a single proper match when i send a request its a immediate reject for all the reasons above i can handle the rejection that doesn't bother me but there are times people immediately block me on what's app or my profile on matrimony or dating. it is frustrating and sad what should i do? how should i move on
Ans: Dear Navin,

I understand that it can be frustrating, but as you mentioned, do not take any of these rejections personally. The flaw is not in you, it's in their mindset. Now, what are the things that you can do? First thing, why don't you write about yourself in your bio just like the way you did here? It gives people a fair idea of who you are and also an amazing glimpse at the fact that you are transparent and genuine. You do not mean to mislead anyone. These traits are not easy to find in today's world.

Next, I am glad to see that you are not conscious about your obesity but it isn't really a healthy way to live. If there is no underlying disease causing the weight gain, you can start working on it. Don't do it to impress women and get a date; do it for yourself. Working on improving your health is a wonderful quality and many women appreciate that.

Lastly, look for people with the same personality type, similar likes and dislikes, shared values, and so on for a smoother interaction. Just keep trying. Finding love can take some time. It will happen for sure.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |508 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 01, 2024

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Relationship
I am a Good Looking guy aged 32 , Government Officer and I do own my own consultancy firm and an Wildlife conservation NGO. I am into Music field as a singer and instrumentalist since 17 years. However I am unable to find a right life partner. Most of them reject as I am not ready to move to Bangalore. Basically I am from Mysore and work in Coorg. I live with mom and we are Brahmin family with moderate values and respect towards our culture and not orthodox. Now I am not ready for intercaste marriage. I dont have any compulsions like working girl or not working girl. I need only a girl who is beautiful , caring and loving. She should understand her responsibilities. I think I deserve such life partner. What to do ? How can I make any match.
Ans: Dear R,
You can try asking close friends and family members to set you up with someone compatible. If you want more control over this, try a matchmaking and dating app. A little research and you will find the right apps, ideally, the ones that cater to serious daters who are looking to get married. Once you find that, update your profile with a recent picture; write your qualifications in the BIO to impress your matches, and mention exactly what you expect from your match- good looks, caring, loving, and responsible- this would help you attract the right people and save you time and energy from chatting up the wrong matches that will go nowhere. These platforms are perfect for finding a compatible partner because you can, quite literally, filter through tons of people and find the one that suits you best.

Hope this helps. Best Wishes.

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Latest Questions
Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |56 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 01, 2024Hindi
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Money
We two brothers have inherited a property on 200 sq yard by registered will of our father in 2020. The property was purchased by our father in 1970 and redeveloped in 1990 into three story building. Ground floor is with my brother and first floor. Third floor without roof rights was sold by our father at the time of redevelopment . Me and my brother have terrace rights as per registered will of our father ( each has 50% roof/ terrace rights). My brother is US citizen and want to sell his share for four crores. The expected rental income from the ground floor will be Rupees 60 thousand per month. The circle rate of the property is Rupees 7 lakh per yard. My interest in the ground floor of the property is mainly to live peacefully without any interference by unknown new buyer. I am 65 and my question is from financial point should I purchase from my brother by paying Rs. 4 crore or keep the amount in bank as fixed deposit/ RBI bonds at around 8 percent per year. Second question is if he sell it to other buyer how he will sell terrace as the terrace is undivided and we both have inherited it by registered will. Thirdly there are many builders who want to redevelop the property into four floor with basement and stilt parking. What will be the right option . I have only son .
Ans: Dear Friend,
If you’re considering whether to purchase your brother’s share of the inherited property for ?4 crore, weigh peace of mind against financial returns. Buying his share gives you full control, eliminates potential disputes with a third-party buyer, and ensures no interference in your peaceful living. However, the rental yield of ?60,000/month (~1.8% annual return) is significantly lower than the ~8% return you could get by investing ?4 crore in fixed deposits or bonds, which would generate ~?2.67 lakh/month.

Regarding the terrace, your brother cannot sell his 50% share independently since it is undivided and jointly inherited. Any sale requires your consent, limiting his ability to transfer full terrace rights to a new buyer.

Redevelopment of the property is an excellent option, offering increased value and rental income. Builders are likely to provide additional floors or cash components in exchange for development rights, enhancing long-term financial benefits and ensuring modern amenities.

If your priorities are peace of mind and control over the property, purchase your brother’s share. Otherwise, invest in safer financial instruments and consider redevelopment to maximise the property’s potential. Consult a lawyer and financial advisor to ensure the best decision. Your Financial adviser can deeply evaluate all your assets and liabilities and provide a solution which will give you more leverage.
Regards, Nitin Narkhede -Founder Prosperity Lifestyle Hub,
Free webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

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Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |56 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

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Money
Myself and my sister as joint owner of a property enteredvinto joint development agreementvwith a builder for construction of 8 flats in 4800 sq. Ft land. 2400 sq. Ft was retained for us with 4 flats constructed by builder to be given free of cost and 2400 sq. Ft UDS sold to builder thro PGPA for him to sell 4 flats. After selling 3 flats with 1800 sq. ft UDS by builder, we cancelled GPA and registered with SRO for retaing 600 Sq. ft UDS for our use with the consent agreeing to pay compensation for this cancel of GPA. Now I want clarification as to the ownership of the above said cancelled UDS of 600 Sq. ft as Joint owner or myself as per Joint developement agreement with a rider that myself will take possessionof 600 UDS by cancelling GPA later with builder and paying compensation st the mutually ahreed price. Builder says that myself is the owner for the cancelled 600 Sq. ft retained. I want to know whether I hv to register settlement deed for partingvwith 600 Sq. ft UDS by my sister or the statement of builder as myself will be the owner for 600 UDS regisyeted by cancelling GPA signed by the builder and both of us. Pl. Clarify.
Ans: Dear G,
The ownership of the 600 sq. ft. UDS (Undivided Share of Land) depends on the terms of the Joint Development Agreement (JDA) and the GPA cancellation deed. As per the JDA, the builder agreed to transfer the 600 sq. ft. UDS to you after GPA cancellation in return for compensation. If the GPA cancellation deed and subsequent agreements clearly state that this UDS belongs solely to you and these are registered with the Sub-Registrar’s Office (SRO), you are the legal owner. However, if your sister’s name still appears as a co-owner in the original title deed, you will need her to execute a **Settlement Deed** or **Gift Deed** in your favor, which must be registered to confirm your sole ownership and avoid disputes. The builder’s statement that you are the owner is valid only if it aligns with the registered documents. To confirm ownership, verify the SRO records to ensure the transfer has been legally recorded. If any gaps exist, consult a property lawyer to review the JDA, GPA cancellation deed, and builder’s agreement to ensure proper registration of ownership and resolve any ambiguity. This will safeguard your rights and provide clarity regarding the 600 sq. ft. UDS.
Regards, Nitin Narkhede -Founder Prosperity Lifestyle Hub,
Free webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

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Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |56 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hi sir/mam, I'm 32 years old working in a private firm as Manager. I own 9 lacs in FDs, accumulated 17 lacs in Mutual funds through SIP of around 23k pm (currently XIRR at 15-16% in with 75% in equity). I also have 2.5 lacs in PPF and 1.2 lacs in NPS. For tax savings I do yearly investments in PPF and NPS of about 1 lacs and rest I cover with ELSS (part of my SIPs). I want to retire at the age of 50, my current salary is 1.2 lac per month in hand, and receive few incentives of 1.5 lac a yr. I live in Mumbai with my wife and plan to buy a house of 60 lacs (out of which 20 L I'm borrowing from family, and rest of it will be loan with about 35k EMI). I also have a flat in NCR worth 80 L (purchased at 35 lacs), for which I have an EMI of 11k per month which is covered by rent I receive from there. I don't have kids yet, but I plan to have two of them. What should be my plan of investing that I can retire by max between 50 and 55 yrs of age with an upper middle class lifestyle in either Mumbai or NCR. How much should my corpus be? My current expenses are around 60k including rent in Mumbai, and my parents are independent. I have both health and life insurance of 1 cr+ cover.
Ans: Dear Friend,
To retire comfortably at 50-55 with an upper-middle-class lifestyle, you’ll need a retirement corpus of ?5 crore. Currently, your mutual funds, PPF, and NPS are projected to grow to ~?1.82 crore by 50. To bridge the gap of ?2.18 crore, increase your SIPs by ?30,000/month in equity funds, which can grow to ~?2.25 crore at 12% CAGR in 18 years. Prioritize repaying the ?20 lakh family loan after buying the Mumbai house, ensuring the ?35,000 EMI doesn’t hinder your additional investments. Post-retirement, rely on rental income from your NCR property and a 4% systematic withdrawal strategy from your corpus to cover inflation-adjusted expenses. Maintain ?5-6 lakhs in an emergency fund and continue tax-saving investments like ELSS, PPF, and NPS. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio to stay aligned with your goals. With disciplined savings and investments, you’re on track for a secure retirement.
Regards, Nitin Narkhede
-Founder Prosperity Lifestyle Hub,
Free webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7593 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 20, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hello sir, I am 35yo with 2 (4yo, 1yo) children. Can I retire now, with following corpus: mutual fund and stocks : 3.5 crore, lands: 50 lakh, PF&PPF: 80 lakh, FD: 25 lakh, SGB &Gold:50 lakh. Currently doesn't own any house. Monthly expense is around 1 lakh.
Ans: Your corpus and monthly expenses show a solid foundation. Retirement at 35, however, requires careful assessment. Let’s analyse your situation step by step.

Current Financial Assets and Allocations

Mutual Funds and Stocks: Rs 3.5 crore

This is a significant part of your corpus. Equity investments offer high growth potential.

Lands: Rs 50 lakh

Real estate investments are illiquid. Consider them only for long-term growth or inheritance.

PF and PPF: Rs 80 lakh

These provide stability and assured returns. These are good for meeting long-term goals.

Fixed Deposit: Rs 25 lakh

FDs are low-risk and ensure liquidity. This is beneficial for emergencies.

SGB and Gold: Rs 50 lakh

Gold is a strong hedge against inflation. It also offers diversification.

Monthly Expense Analysis

Your monthly expense of Rs 1 lakh equates to Rs 12 lakh annually.

Accounting for inflation, this expense will grow over time. Planning for this is crucial.

Core Observations

Your total corpus is Rs 5.55 crore. This is substantial for your age.

Inflation and rising expenses over time will impact your corpus.

Without a house, rent becomes a recurring expense. Factor this into your calculations.

You have no guaranteed income sources post-retirement.

Key Areas of Improvement

Housing

Consider buying a house if feasible. Owning a house ensures stability and reduces rent.

Do not invest excessively in real estate as it is illiquid.

Corpus Utilisation

Avoid over-reliance on equity investments for withdrawals. Equity is volatile in the short term.

Use a mix of debt and equity for regular withdrawals.

Children’s Education and Marriage

Both are major financial goals. Plan dedicated investments for these.

Use long-term instruments for education and marriage funds.

Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund of at least 12 months of expenses.

Keep it in liquid funds or high-yield savings accounts.

Recommended Financial Strategies

Asset Allocation

Diversify your portfolio across equity, debt, and gold.

Maintain 60% equity, 30% debt, and 10% gold as a starting point. Adjust as needed.

Mutual Fund Investments

Continue with actively managed funds. These can outperform index funds in emerging markets like India.

Avoid direct funds if you lack time or expertise. Regular funds offer advisor support and insights.

Debt Investments

Increase debt allocation for stability. Consider high-quality debt mutual funds.

Ensure these align with your withdrawal needs.

Tax Planning

Monitor tax implications of mutual fund withdrawals.

LTCG from equity funds above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Plan withdrawals to minimise tax liabilities.

Insurance Needs

Ensure adequate health insurance for your family. Cover at least Rs 25 lakh for each member.

Check if you have term insurance. Secure Rs 2-3 crore coverage for your family’s financial safety.

Inflation and Lifestyle Adjustments

Inflation can erode your purchasing power. Plan investments to counter inflation.

Avoid lifestyle inflation. Stick to essential expenses wherever possible.

Income Generation Options

Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP)

Use SWP from mutual funds for regular income.

Choose hybrid funds for better stability and returns.

Rental Income

Invest part of your corpus in commercial properties.

Ensure this aligns with your liquidity needs and risk profile.

Freelance or Part-Time Work

Consider light work for additional income. It can extend your corpus.

Use your skills to generate flexible income streams.

Monitoring and Review

Review your portfolio annually. Adjust allocations as goals evolve.

Work with a Certified Financial Planner for periodic checks.

Final Insights

Retirement at 35 is ambitious but achievable with meticulous planning. Your current corpus is strong, but consider the following:

Plan for inflation, children’s needs, and healthcare costs.

Diversify investments and secure guaranteed income sources.

Avoid premature decisions. Evaluate thoroughly before retiring.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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