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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1422 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 15, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
mahesh Question by mahesh on Oct 11, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

im 45 year old mere mind me negative thought bahut ate hai or overthinking bahut hai. mere man kisi kaam ko karne me nhi lagta hai , me apne kisi kaam me concentration nhi kar pa raha hu, plz iska koi solution dijiyga.

Ans: Dear Mahesh,
Negative thoughts kisi kaaran se hi aapke dimaag mein baith gaye hain. Inko agar hataane hain toh pehle woh kaaran ko hataana hoga. Is liye apne aap se poochiye: Kis wajah se mein yeh sab soch baitha hoon? Aise soch aane se pehle kya hua hai joh mujhe aise sochne pe majboor hota hoon...

Aisi soch ko door rakhne ke liye kuch sujhaav hain:
1. Koi physical activity ya exercise roz kiya kijiye (walk, gym, run)
2. Praanyaam karne se bhi bahut faayda hota hai
3. Dost ya kareebi pariwaar ke saath waqt bitaaiye
4. Apni zindagi mein joh accha hua hai ya ho raha hai, is baat ko aksar yaad aur zikr kijiye
5. Koi kaam karne se pehle, apna phone ko silent mode mein daal dijiye

Yeh sirf sujhaav hain, baaki aapko mehnat zaroor karna padega ki yeh negative soch ko aap zyaada panaah na de. Jitna zyaada inko paalenge, utna hi aapko pareshaani hogi. Yeh dhyaan mein le aaiye ki positive ya acchi soch se aapka kya faayda ho sakta hai; maansik tanaav kam hone se aapka shareer bhi swasth hoga. Is baat ko hamesha yaad rakhiye.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1422 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi mam. I kind of need mental fitness advice. I am 26 years old female. I am afraid a lot in taking up the decisions in my life due to overthinking. But it is not same when it comes to my work side. Always taking up the negative things from my surroundings and expressing the same. Sometimes i make negative situations in my mind and cry. Is there a way to change my mindset to overcome my overthinking as well as my negative mindset. Pls give me some tips to overcome laziness as well as procastination. Is there any yoga or medidation to cure this one. Because i really hate myself for this.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What exactly do you get by punishing yourself? It's another way to indulge in self-pity which will only keep you in the problem zone for longer.
Instead pay attention to the reasons towards laziness and procrastination.
Ask:
- Do I display laziness with every activity or a few or one specific one?
- If Yes, which is it?
- What about that activity/situation makes me want to procrastinate and not take action on it?
- If I actually make a plan and act on that activity/situation, how will things change for me?

This will give you an idea as to what exactly happens in the mind to avoid something and what you can do about it. We are never motivated to do anything if we don not get something concrete back in return. So, define the reward clearly...
And as far as negative things go, if you choose to focus on it, obviously it will grow bigger in the mind.

Keep the above questions list with you and check at regular intervals when faced with procrastination. Have a social circle of friends who can pull you up when you are down BUT they will not be kind all the time if you are going to indulge into self-pity. So, the decision to get better, to become more positive and actually do something big in life is a decision. Focus on how much your life will change for the better when you do this and it will be a clean and quick switchover.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1422 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 31, 2024Hindi
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1422 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 31, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
after 11 years of courtship i married my boyfriend with parents permission after convincing them .We have been married for 1 year now and in this one year i saw many changes in him.he gives importance to his mother takes decisons without discussing with me but with his mother.To please his mother he talks about me like she dint do that particular thing.Now he went abroad for job and i am pregnant .I left my job and shifted to my parent's place.He doesnt even talk to me or message me.I only have to message him.If i tel any of my pregnancy complaints he either tells his mother or says i am overthinking.Now he said if I dont follow his house rule i better stay in my parents place only .I am so upset and devastated.What should I do
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What according to you have caused these changes in him and that too after 11 years of courtship? Did any instance cause him to act differently than before? And were there no indications of him acting different during your courtship days?
Why I ask this is that it is difficult for anyone to pretend for 11 long years! He would have displayed his current behavior sometime in the past and maybe you simply decided to overlook it?
Courtship days and marriage days are vastly different and what seemed okay during the courtship time becomes an issue after marriage. If this is not the case, it's quite possible that some incident which was seemingly small became a huge issue in his head causing him to act different?
Now, why am I going into this so much is because most often we overlook reasons that can be worked on. So, do think hard on this...
It is also time to involve your parents who can talk to his mother and figure out why her son is acting all weird. Surely, your mother-in-law needs to know that her interference the way it is, is going to destroy her son's marriage. So, get your parents to talk to her. And in the meantime, as hard as it may seem, do take care of your health for yourself and your baby.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |485 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am in a relationship with a girl since last 1.5 years, i told her everything regarding my financial status,my past ,everything.......she was also in a relationship for 5 years and she told me intially her ex mistreats her, abuse her , sexually force her and she hates him etc all this stuff.....but i found that she herself called her ex and then told me after 4 months...i forgive her but from last 2 months her behaviour is changed , now she is finding too many problems in how i look, my financial status and compare with other boys that they have car and they took their gf to long drives etc( her ex contacted her again and told her he got a job since then she starts all this stuff? She triggered my insecurities and i am feeling most useless and worst person... what should i do, does she really loves me? Please guide me ...i am started feeling depressed .......
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's address the most important thing first, does she really love you? I am not sure about that. It's neither a solid yes or a solid no. But therein lies the challenge. If there is confusion, there is concern. Moreover, the habit of drawing comparisons with other people and how they treat their partners is an indication of a toxic relationship. I would urge you to rethink this relationship.

There will always be someone better out there- with a better car, a better-paying job, or even better looking, but that doesn't mean we stop loving our partner and leave them for that "better someone." Loving your partner is a choice you make every day. Having said that, it is okay if she wants someone "better." Let her. You deserve better too.

Please reconsider this relationship, especially if it is causing you so much sorrow.

Best wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |485 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 26, 2024
Relationship
Hi i am 30yr old man i was in relationship with girl from school time since15 year with different caste in 2023 marriage proposal from another girl comes that time i talked with my family about my love they refused for marriage to her i did not put aggressive effort as i also don't want to hurt them after my marriage in a month i am remembering her continuously and start taking to her again i also told my wife about it she doesn't want to leave me (i also told her before our marriage but that time i told her that we broke up) after a year in this November her marriage is fixed by her parents now she is married since 2 month but she also don't want to live with her husband and want to come back We both wanted to come back to each other what should we do.??
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it is a tricky situation. I am sorry I cannot tell you what you should do, but I can tell you that you have to handle this very carefully because it's a sensitive matter and involves too many people and their emotions. You can discuss the same with your family; you might be worried about upsetting them but at the end of the day, it's your life and you will have to live a long long time with the decisions you make. Sort your priorities- ask yourself these simple questions: what would hurt you more- hurting your parents and making your wife collateral damage because of your confusion or not living the rest of your life with the woman you love? Once you can answer these truthfully, it will be easier to make a choice.

Hope this helps

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |485 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 28, 2024
Relationship
I love my boyfriend very much but the thing is i am not a virgin and my boyfriend doesn’t know that , he thinks i am a virgin and he wants me to be virgin only , i am completely loyal to him I don’t have any type of contact from my ex boyfriend and i really want to marry my boyfriend and live a healthy and loyal life , my boyfriend doesn’t like lies but i really can’t tell him the truth as it will affect my relationship which i don’t want to happen, he will come to know that i am not a virgin but the main problem is my ex bf what if he comes in my life again and tries to spoil my relationship by telling my bf the truth? And i really don’t want this to happen what should i do? I myself don’t want to loe to my bf but this is the thing i really can’t tell him it will break my relationship and other than this there is nothing that i lied i am just afraid what if my ex blackmails me and when my bf comes to know and he will be heartbroken i don’t want to break his trust
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that your virginity is important to him and you should not have kept this from him, but do you understand that your virginity is your choice? Why does he have a say in it? He is your partner- he loves you, but he doesn't own you. And what you did in your past is not something he can judge you by; why should that affect your relationship? I know that you love him but it's better to tell him the truth and accept the outcome than to keep lying and feel guilty about something you should not even be worrying about.

I am sure he has many great qualities but being so concerned about your virginity seems a little concerning. You are a person with so many other attributes. Why would he ignore all of that and care only about something that you have no control over? I suggest you tell him, but please remember, no matter what he says, you are not at fault here. It's in your past, a time when he did not exist for you.

Best Wishes

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1118 Answers  |Ask -

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7408 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Money
Hello everyone, I need some advice on investments. I’m planning to invest around 25k monthly in equity mutual funds and stocks through a Demat account in my mother’s new demat account. I already have my own account as well. The investment amount for my mother’s account will come from rental income generated from a property owned by my father. Is this approach acceptable, or could there be any issues with the investment process or the inflow of funds into my mother’s account? My plan is to invest for the long term, approximately 12-15 years.
Ans: Your plan to invest Rs 25,000 monthly in equity mutual funds and stocks is commendable.

A 12-15 year horizon is ideal for equity investments.
Investing through your mother’s Demat account is possible but requires careful attention.
Let us examine the key aspects and potential issues in this approach.

Fund Source and Ownership Implications
Using rental income from property owned by your father raises ownership considerations.

Ensure the rental income is legally transferred to your mother’s account.
If your father remains the legal owner, document the transfer as a gift or allowance.
This clarity avoids tax-related complications in the future.
Proper documentation ensures that the funds in your mother’s account are not questioned.

Taxation of Rental Income
Rental income received by your father will be taxed under his name.

Transferring funds to your mother does not change the tax liability.
Your father will continue to report this income in his tax returns.
Ensure all transactions are clear and traceable for compliance.
This ensures transparency and avoids potential legal issues.

Taxation on Investments in Your Mother’s Name
Investing in your mother’s name offers certain tax advantages.

If your mother has no other significant income, her tax liability will be lower.
Long-term capital gains on equity funds above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.
This can reduce the overall tax burden on the portfolio returns.

Choosing the Right Investment Vehicles
Your strategy includes equity mutual funds and stocks. Diversify carefully for consistent growth.

Allocate a significant portion to actively managed equity funds for steady returns.
Avoid index funds due to their passive nature and lack of adaptability.
Use multi-cap or diversified funds to manage risks effectively.
For stocks, focus on blue-chip and fundamentally strong companies for long-term wealth creation.

Avoiding Risks with Direct Funds
Direct funds lack the guidance of an expert.

Without a Certified Financial Planner, portfolio decisions may not align with goals.
Regular funds through a trusted distributor offer better support and insights.
This ensures professional management of your investments.

Monitoring and Rebalancing
Investments require periodic monitoring to stay aligned with goals.

Review the portfolio annually for performance and sector allocation.
Rebalance to maintain the desired equity-debt ratio as market conditions change.
This keeps your portfolio on track over the long term.

Legal and Practical Considerations
Using a separate Demat account in your mother’s name is acceptable.

Ensure that account documentation reflects her as the sole holder.
Clearly separate her investments from your personal portfolio.
This avoids confusion and ensures clarity in ownership.

Suggestions for Long-Term Wealth Creation
Your investment horizon of 12-15 years supports growth-focused strategies.

Allocate 60% to actively managed equity mutual funds for high potential returns.
Reserve 20% for hybrid funds to balance risks and provide stability.
Keep 10% in international equity funds for diversification.
Use 10% for direct stocks in stable and high-growth sectors.
This diversified approach balances risks and maximises returns over time.

Final Insights
Your investment strategy is promising and aligns with long-term wealth creation. Document the fund transfers clearly to avoid tax and legal complications. Avoid index funds and direct funds due to their limitations. Engage a Certified Financial Planner to optimise fund selection and monitoring. A diversified portfolio will help you achieve your financial goals efficiently.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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