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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 03, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 28, 2023Hindi
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Hello mam, I cannot focus on my work....I keep overthinking about the future and even after being skilled i cannot execute my work.I get distracted and agitated easily these days.I have lost confidence in myself i keep thinking how i would tackle things in future,I dont know what to do.Can you please guide.

Ans: Improving self-confidence and avoiding overthinking are two related but distinct issues. Here are some tips for both:

To improve self-confidence:

Identify your strengths and achievements. Write them down and revisit them when you feel insecure.Practice self-care, such as getting enough sleep, exercising, and eating healthy.Set realistic goals and work towards achieving them.Focus on your progress rather than comparing yourself to others.Surround yourself with positive and supportive people.Learn from your mistakes and failures rather than dwelling on them.Challenge negative self-talk and replace it with positive affirmations.Try new things and step out of your comfort zone.

To avoid overthinking:

Recognize when you're overthinking and acknowledge that it's not productive.Set aside time to think about the issue, but limit it to a specific amount of time.Engage in activities that distract you, such as exercise or hobbies.Practice mindfulness and focus on the present moment.Write down your thoughts and feelings to gain perspective and clarity.Talk to a trusted friend or therapist about your concerns.Accept that not everything can be controlled and focus on what you can control.Remind yourself that worrying won't solve the problem and take action towards a solution.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2024Hindi
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Hi mam. I kind of need mental fitness advice. I am 26 years old female. I am afraid a lot in taking up the decisions in my life due to overthinking. But it is not same when it comes to my work side. Always taking up the negative things from my surroundings and expressing the same. Sometimes i make negative situations in my mind and cry. Is there a way to change my mindset to overcome my overthinking as well as my negative mindset. Pls give me some tips to overcome laziness as well as procastination. Is there any yoga or medidation to cure this one. Because i really hate myself for this.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What exactly do you get by punishing yourself? It's another way to indulge in self-pity which will only keep you in the problem zone for longer.
Instead pay attention to the reasons towards laziness and procrastination.
Ask:
- Do I display laziness with every activity or a few or one specific one?
- If Yes, which is it?
- What about that activity/situation makes me want to procrastinate and not take action on it?
- If I actually make a plan and act on that activity/situation, how will things change for me?

This will give you an idea as to what exactly happens in the mind to avoid something and what you can do about it. We are never motivated to do anything if we don not get something concrete back in return. So, define the reward clearly...
And as far as negative things go, if you choose to focus on it, obviously it will grow bigger in the mind.

Keep the above questions list with you and check at regular intervals when faced with procrastination. Have a social circle of friends who can pull you up when you are down BUT they will not be kind all the time if you are going to indulge into self-pity. So, the decision to get better, to become more positive and actually do something big in life is a decision. Focus on how much your life will change for the better when you do this and it will be a clean and quick switchover.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

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Help me!!! 1.I'm starting new "work" on my own(challenging for me) but my mind says quit it, be quite & do nothing. I myself don't know that wether the result of work will be +ive or uncompleted like alws. 2. My mind has become like order seeker type, when someone orders me, I do those things with dedicated(but sad from inside) manner. But when myself will try something different(which i fear, but necessary) then. "I QUITS IT" & sometimes I don't even start. 3. I'm like stuck no clue what/whom I want to do in life, I'm in cllg(1 yr) doing (CSE) ,. 4. I want to do/try (sports,talking girls,study,stocks,coding..) many things, but myself, my thoughts(overthinker), R like just be in the place where u are[confused,po*n,think about past/future(being billio..re,olympics..), girl (that u liked & never talked), abusive/beating self,.. sometimes feels like end life, but don't hv courage for that also.. 5. I tried self help books, spirituality, god, self affirmation, writing... & thay affected me(sometimes) but for only some time, then again that devil me comes up &these things never get completed. As no one in my family knows about all these, so that's Y ,I hv to fight/loose/try again, the battles with myself.
Ans: Dear Harsh,
If in the past you have had the urge to QUIT, how is this time going to be different? This is not to discourage you from taking up 'new work' but pointing out that there is some amount of work that you need to put to clear the mind out of blockages.
-What is limiting you?
- What is the reason for putting off things?
- What comes first to the mind when you start something new?
Also, focus on one thing at a time; study and go deep into it...what's this thing with work? I don't understand. When the mind is unsettled, take one thing/activity, pursue it and finish it. It could simply be studying for Year 1 of your college...just only do that...once your mind is trained in completing an activity, you can add another one the next year along with studying and then pursue both...it could be some sport and studying...then the next year, you could add a third activity. This is called 'training the mind in discipline'. Discipline will make sure that you start and finish things...So, go slow and do one thing at a time.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

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The seconds of time during taking action..I get into the overthinking/over-analysing thoughts... 1. Imaginative: Where I becom's the character & live life(see images, speak..) in those..like being rich,powerfull,disciplined,wife,kids....things which I want/perceive from social media...+ memos of past also.. 2. Stuck: Where I becom's a "OBJECT" & voices + images of brain guides me to quit task's when doing things/challenging...by saying.. *What this thing(task/book..) gonna benefit you? *Don't do it, you will do worse/fail..people gonna judge/laugh to you...look yourself!!..no good face, no good dress, u don't hv courage/skill to do that thing. 3. Coping: "Quit it" & use Mobile(songs,reels,yt videos..) to stop/distract myself from those dark clouds. i) What/How [solution] to don't get stuck in those next time. ii) How to use that overthinking for my advantage.. with hving control. iii) I tried to fill the possible voids by dress/looks but things were same..so it's internal.. What to do for that?
Ans: Dear Work,
Overthinking and over processing never helped anyone. Focus on your self-talk and change that.
- Journaling
- Sports
- Art work
- Meditation
- Breathwork
These are a few ways in which you can attempt to slow down the mind from racing thoughts. Once that happens, work on your self-talk to make it more useful where you start to direct yourself towards what you want to do.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10976 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 21, 2026Hindi
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I’m a 35-year-old salaried professional aiming to build a long-term investment portfolio over the next 10 years, with a monthly investment budget of around Rs 15,000. I'm tempted to buy silver as an investment because silver prices today (Rs 330 per gram) look much more 'affordable' than gold prices today approx 15000 per gram). But I also know that price per gram doesn’t reflect actual returns when comparing silver vs gold investment performance. Is viewing silver as a cheaper investment option a mental trap for small investors, or does investing in silver genuinely offer better upside potential in the long run?
Ans: You are thinking in the right direction. You are questioning the price tag, not getting carried away by it. This itself shows maturity and long-term thinking. Many investors do not pause at this stage. You deserve appreciation for that clarity.

» Price per gram versus wealth creation reality
– Seeing silver at Rs 330 per gram and gold at around Rs 15,000 per gram creates a strong emotional pull
– Our mind feels silver is “cheap” and gold is “expensive”
– This is a mental shortcut, not an investment logic
– Wealth grows by percentage return over time, not by how many grams we can buy
– One gram at Rs 100 that grows slowly can underperform one gram at Rs 10,000 that grows steadily

» Why silver looks attractive but behaves differently
– Silver has a dual role: precious metal and industrial metal
– Industrial demand makes silver prices volatile and cyclical
– When the economy slows, silver demand can fall sharply
– This leads to long periods of price stagnation
– For a salaried professional with monthly investing, such swings can test patience

» Gold and silver are not growth assets
– Both gold and silver do not create earnings or cash flow
– Their value depends mainly on demand, inflation fear, and currency movement
– Over long periods, they protect purchasing power but rarely multiply wealth
– Expecting strong upside from silver over 10 years is usually unrealistic
– This is especially true when the goal is disciplined monthly investing

» Is silver a mental trap for small investors
– Yes, for many investors it is
– “I can buy more grams” gives psychological comfort
– But comfort does not equal better returns
– Silver often underperforms expectations when held for long durations
– Storage cost, purity issues, and liquidity challenges further reduce actual benefit

» Does silver have any role at all
– Silver can be used as a small diversification tool
– It should never be the core of a long-term portfolio
– Allocation should be limited and purpose-driven
– Treat it as a hedge, not a growth engine
– Overexposure can slow overall portfolio progress

» Better alignment with your 10-year goal
– At age 35, your biggest strength is time
– Regular monthly investing suits growth-oriented assets
– Actively managed equity mutual funds suit this phase well
– Active fund managers can adapt to market changes and protect downside
– This flexibility matters more than metal price movements

» Why market-linked metal products are not ideal substitutes
– They closely track metal prices without adding value
– No active decision-making or downside control
– Returns depend only on price cycles
– This makes long-term compounding weak
– Actively managed funds aim to grow wealth, not just track prices

» Risk, emotion, and discipline
– Silver prices can move sharply up and down
– Such movement can tempt investors to time the market
– Timing mistakes hurt long-term results
– Simple, steady investing works better than reacting to metal prices
– Discipline matters more than affordability

» Tax and liquidity awareness
– Physical silver has making charges and selling spreads
– Tax treatment can reduce post-tax returns
– Liquidity is not always smooth during urgent needs
– These frictions are often ignored at the buying stage

» 360-degree portfolio thinking
– Your Rs 15,000 monthly budget is a powerful habit
– Focus on assets that reward time and consistency
– Use metals only as support, not as drivers
– Growth assets should do the heavy lifting
– Review allocation periodically with a Certified Financial Planner

» Final Insights
– Silver looking affordable is largely a mental illusion
– Long-term wealth is built by return quality, not unit price
– Silver does not offer reliable long-term upside for salaried investors
– Limited exposure is fine, dependency is not
– Staying focused on growth-oriented investing will serve your 10-year goal far better

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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