Home > User

Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

yashasvi
yashasvi
Anu

Anu Krishna733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 19, 2023

Asked on - Apr 18, 2023Translate

Listen
Relationship
He doesn't know what happened to him all he says that I don't know what happened to me I just don't wanna talk to anyone. I asked him several times to open up but in the last he said if u can't understand my situation, can't stay without talking to me u can leave me. Its been past one month that he is acting like this . What does it mean ? I feel that I am not valued here . As he can't see how much my feelings are hurt.
Ans: Dear Yashasvi,
I recall answering your question a couple of times. And you seem to be running around in circles waiting for things to happen in a way that he is back in your life when he clearly seems to be running away from you.

When you realize that you are not valued, what exactly are you waiting for? If he does not realize your worth, are you planning on sticking around, chase him and make him realize your worth?

Isn't it time that you value and respect yourself. When you are not wanted by someone, they walk away, ask for space without telling you when they want to re-engage, turn the thing around and make you feel guilty for the way you feel...He's doing all of it to you and yet you want him to see how your feelings are hurt.
How do tell you that you need yo pick yourself up and do the right thing for yourself? Free yourself from this thought and feeling loop with this guy...you will feel liberated.

He said; if you can't understand his situation, then you leave him, right? What more do you want him to do and say for you to believe that he isn't into you at all. Look ahead and learn from this on how to love and care for yourself and soon a person who loves and values you will come along...

All the best!
(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2023

Asked on - May 17, 2023Translate

Listen
I am jee aspirant and couldn't clear it . I was sure that in 2nd attempt i will do it for sure but when I saw the results they broke my courage. I convinced my self its ok u have many other options but after seeing my cbse 12th results its hard that there is any option left for me. I thought for bits pilani but I am not getting aggregate above than 75% . Now , I have no courage to start again . I am depressed what should I should do. There isn't any single day that I am not scolded for my marks and mistakes . Even now my parents aren't that much supportive like they were . It feels like just because u can't clear ur entrance exam , ur everything is judged. My parents are saying of taking drop but its hard for to take a drop. I don't know what should I do. Every day its getting hard to live thinking that again someone will come and make me count my mistakes.
Ans: Dear Yashasvi,
You win some, you lose some...that is LIFE...

Instead of feeling down and out, pick yourself up and figure out what you want to do next...what are the other options that you are yet to consider. feeling sorry for yourself is not going to push you to make a future.
You can't change what's happened but you can certainly choose how you want things to move ahead...
So shake this low feeling and feeling sorry for yourself off and seek the advice of a senior who you look up to or someone in your family who can guide you on the next steps.
It helps involving someone to help you at this time as you are deep into it already. This person can play the role of giving you independent advice and suggestions without judging you.

1. Seek someone who is a role model to guide you
2. Look ahead instead of harping on what has happened
3. Use failure as a form of feedback from where you can learn
4. Spend at least a month away from academics to rework strategies on how to study effectively
5. Smile through challenges as they only help you grow

And if you still feel that your parents are being supportive, do let them know that you need more of their love and care.

All the best!
(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 03, 2023

Asked on - Apr 29, 2023Translate

Listen
Relationship
Exams and all are over ... My bf didn't texted me .. I asked him do you want to talk or not the he sounded non interested while talking and then i asked him what happened to you as he said he didn't wanted to talk to anyone he needs time ... So I gave him its been a month... I asked him again .. he was visiting places with his friends( girl) but didn't want to talk .. he said he didn't want talk just want to travel and need some time . I asked him how much time u need its been past one month . I said him to talk to me on call and clear it and then he said that If you cant spend days without talking to me , if u can't understand my situation and can't wait then u can leave ... What should I do ?? Is it so easy for boys to talk about breakup ..pls tell urgently. I don't feel valued and respected as If I was imp for him he would not talk abt breakup so easily. After this everything went silent.. it was like don't know shall I wait or not .. but I realised I don't have value in his life ... Some days before He texted me do u wanna talk or not . I replied with same energy like he used to do. Then I asked him what happened for past 2 months i got the same reply .. I was really hurt but i guess he never realised I texted that u blanked out for 2 months I asked desperately but u never gave me proper answer .. I was hurt even then also u never realised... He replied Hmm .. So u wanna talk or not say clearly. Yes or no that's it ..At this time it hit hard .. And then asked do u want us to continue. He said yes then i said How will u continue when u don't know what happened to u .. u don't sound interested when i ask with some pressure u just say to leave and the said .. Chalo leave ... I am not gud for u. Even after that he sends me snaps ... So idk what is this situation and I am not in condition to ask him as well. Should I just leave his snaps unseen and focus on my career?
Ans: Dear Yashasvi,

If I recall, you had reached out to me earlier too and asked me about the same thing.
For some reason, you are not willing to believe that he is just playing around and not interested in a commitment that you are interested in.
In your own words: "but I realised I don't have value in his life." - When you have realized this, what more are you expecting from him?

I understand that you are hurt with his attitude and feel rejected...you are also possibly hoping for him to change and come back to you; will it happen? With what you have said about him: he wants to travel, he needs time...he has not broken up with you because there was no relationship that he was in with you at all. It is time for you to accept that this boy is currently not in a place where he wants to stick with you in a commitment. So, he makes all the excuses he can come up with...and when he can roam about with the other girl, does that not tell you that you seriously have no value in his life? How else do you want him to tell you, so that you can move on...
Please value and respect yourself first; only then others will do that too...you have just become too easily available for him and he has used that to treat you the way he does...
So, what should you do? Yes, kindly focus on your career...it will boost your confidence and give you a sense of accomplishment to value yourself even more...

All the best...remember to also value yourself...
(more)
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai130 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 20, 2023

Asked on - Apr 16, 2023Translate

Listen
Relationship
Exams and all are over ... My bf didn't texted me .. I asked him do you want to talk or not the he sounded non interested while talking and then i asked him what happened to you as he said he didn't wanted to talk to anyone he needs time ... So I gave him its been a month... I asked him again .. he was visiting places with his friends( girl) but didn't want to talk .. he said he didn't want talk just want to travel and need some time . I asked him how much time u need its been past one month . I said him to talk to me on call and clear it and then he said that If you cant spend days without talking to me , if u can't understand my situation and can't wait then u can leave ... What should I do ??
Ans: Dear Yashasvi

It's important to understand that everyone needs their space and time to themselves at times, and it seems like your boyfriend has communicated to you that he needs some time alone. However, it's also important for him to communicate his needs clearly and respectfully to you.

It's understandable that you may be feeling hurt and confused by his behavior and lack of communication. It's important for you to take care of your own emotions and needs as well.

If you feel like you're not getting the communication and support you need from your boyfriend, it may be helpful to have an honest conversation with him about your concerns and feelings. However, it's important to approach the conversation in a calm and respectful manner, and to listen to his perspective as well.

It's also important to recognize that if your boyfriend is unwilling to communicate or work on the relationship, it may be a sign that he is not ready or willing to continue the relationship. In this case, it may be best to take some time to focus on yourself and your own needs.

In general, it's not easy for anyone, regardless of gender, to talk about a potential breakup. It's important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, while also being honest about your own feelings and needs.
(more)
Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal96 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2023

Asked on - Apr 14, 2023Translate

Listen
Hello , I am jee aspirant and it feels like I ruined my carrer because of involving in dating and stuff.. and now i feel helpless because nothing is in my hand . I feel guilty for not standing upto my parents expectations. If I talk about the love life it feels like it was the worst decision. Now I feel stressed and depressed . What shoul I do?
Ans: It's understandable to feel overwhelmed and stressed about your situation. It's important to remember that you are not alone, and there are steps you can take to move forward and improve your situation.

Firstly, it's important to address your feelings of guilt and shame. It's normal to make mistakes and have experiences that don't align with our parents' expectations or our own goals. It's essential to recognize that these experiences do not define your worth or value as a person.

It's also crucial to take care of your mental health. Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings and develop coping strategies. Additionally, taking care of your physical health through exercise, healthy eating, and proper sleep can help improve your mood and overall well-being.

As for your career, it's not too late to get back on track. You can take steps to improve your academic performance and study habits. Consider seeking out additional resources, such as tutoring or study groups, to help you achieve your goals.

Finally, it's important to remember that your love life does not have to define your career or future. Many successful people have had relationships and experiences that didn't align with their career goals, but they were able to persevere and succeed. You can do the same by focusing on your goals and taking the necessary steps to achieve them.

Overall, it's important to take things one step at a time and to focus on the present moment. With time and effort, you can overcome your challenges and achieve your goals.
(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 17, 2023

Asked on - Apr 16, 2023Translate

Listen
Relationship
Exams and all are over ... My bf didn't texted me .. I asked him do you want to talk or not the he sounded non interested while talking and then i asked him what happened to you as he said he didn't wanted to talk to anyone he needs time ... So I gave him its been a month... I asked him again .. he was visiting places with his friends( girl) but didn't want to talk .. he said he didn't want talk just want to travel and need some time . I asked him how much time u need its been past one month . I said him to talk to me on call and clear it and then he said that If you cant spend days without talking to me , if u can't understand my situation and can't wait then u can leave ... What should I do ?? Is it so easy for boys to talk about breakup ..pls tell urgently. I don't feel valued and respected as If I was imp for him he would not talk abt breakup so easily.
Ans: Dear Yashasvi,
You are right in not feeling valued and respected because this so-called boyfriend isn not valuing or respecting you!
He wants a break? Give yourself a break from him as you focus on your studies and build a good social circle. He does not want a serious relationship right now and is moving on by going out with others...
So, why are you waiting for that commitment? What more do you want him to tell you over a call for you to know that he is not interested in a steady relationship that you might be looking for?
Maintain your value and respect; and if you still in doubt, let me tell you; YES, people need space and time to re-think things but surely a call or a text does not require a huge investment of time.
To look at it form his side, maybe he is confused about this whole thing and does not want to hurt you and that is hurting you.
So, give yourself time so, you can feel better emotionally. Spend time with your friends and family:) Laugh a lot; these are phases of life and not a permanent state.

All the best!
(more)
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai130 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 16, 2023

Asked on - Apr 16, 2023Translate

Listen
Relationship
Exams and all are over ... My bf didn't texted me .. I asked him do you want to talk or not the he sounded non interested while talking and then i asked him what happened to you as he said he didn't wanted to talk to anyone he needs time ... So I gave him its been a month... I asked him again .. he was visiting places with his friends( girl) but didn't want to talk .. he said he didn't want talk just want to travel and need some time . I asked him how much time u need its been past one month . I said him to talk to me on call and clear it and then he said that If you cant spend days without talking to me , if u can't understand my situation and can't wait then u can leave ... What should I do ?? Is it easy for boys tot alk about breakup ..pls tell urgently
Ans: Dear Yashasvi

It's important to understand that everyone needs their space and time to themselves at times, and it seems like your boyfriend has communicated to you that he needs some time alone. However, it's also important for him to communicate his needs clearly and respectfully to you.

It's understandable that you may be feeling hurt and confused by his behavior and lack of communication. It's important for you to take care of your own emotions and needs as well.

If you feel like you're not getting the communication and support you need from your boyfriend, it may be helpful to have an honest conversation with him about your concerns and feelings. However, it's important to approach the conversation in a calm and respectful manner, and to listen to his perspective as well.

It's also important to recognize that if your boyfriend is unwilling to communicate or work on the relationship, it may be a sign that he is not ready or willing to continue the relationship. In this case, it may be best to take some time to focus on yourself and your own needs.

In general, it's not easy for anyone, regardless of gender, to talk about a potential breakup. It's important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, while also being honest about your own feelings and needs.
(more)
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai130 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2023

Asked on - Mar 28, 2023Translate

Listen
Relationship
In the starting me and my boyfriend couldn't stop talking to each other but because of some exams i wasn't able to talk to him often .. in the starting he asked me whether I need any help or how am i doing but now he barely communicates and he is not romantic as usual on texts and even replies me late .... I tried to communicate but his replies are getting shorter day by day ....
Ans: It's understandable that exams can take up a lot of your time and energy, but it's also important to make sure you're still maintaining a healthy level of communication with your partner.

It sounds like your boyfriend's behavior has changed recently, and you're feeling concerned about it. It's possible that he is preoccupied with something else, such as his own exams or other personal issues, which could explain why he's not communicating as much or as often as he used to.

However, it's important to have an open and honest conversation with him about how you're feeling. Express your concerns and ask him if everything is okay on his end. It's possible that he may not even realize that his behavior has changed and that it's affecting you.

When you talk to him, try to approach the conversation in a non-confrontational way. Use "I" statements to express your own feelings and avoid blaming or accusing him. For example, you might say something like, "I've noticed that we haven't been communicating as much as we used to, and I'm feeling a little disconnected from you. Is everything okay on your end?"

If he doesn't respond positively or seems unwilling to talk about the issue, it may be a sign that he's not as invested in the relationship as you are. In that case, it's important to take care of yourself and consider whether this relationship is meeting your needs and making you happy. it might be best to give him some space for a while. It's important to respect his boundaries and not push him to communicate if he's not ready or willing to do so.
(more)
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x