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Seeking Advice: Feeling Invisible in My Marriage

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 10, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu I need advice for my marriage. Ours was love cum arrange marriage 14 yrs ago.For first few years all was good .I am financially independent with good salary. My spouse s self employed. We hav one child 10 yrs old.My married s become more like a suffocating situation which I am not able to change.My husband is not at all interested in me now.He treats me invisible when it comes to husband wife relationship. He s good father and human being.But since last few yrs i am not having any emotional relationship with him.We spent so many days and time together yet not a single word of love emotions between us.He s busy with his calls mobile netflix all night while i keep awake all night.I have confronted him many times everytime he says you are always fighting with me and Want all this nonsense. He seem to avoid me all day. He want to discuss about his son and finances since i am earning more than him. its been years i cant handle it now.I want someone to look at me talk to me praise me love me.I deserve happiness but since my son is too small i can't think of living separately but i will die like this one day.I dont knw whats wrong with me seems its like he dont want to touch me as there s no physical relationship between us if we are home alone also.He tortures me mentally but remails happy.I failed as a wife despite giving my everything. I have none to discuss such embarrassing life .Pls advice what shall i do ?Should i found someone else as i dont have capacity to beg again and again?Its very difficult to imagine such long life with a partner who treats u invisible since years ?shall i shift to another city with my son?I am completely lost.Pls help everything. I cant beg for love and attention everytime

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There's almost and always a reason for any behavior change. Maybe you might want to understand what exactly made your husband lose interest in you. Did something happen for him to look the other way?
It's really hell living with a spouse who cold shoulders and stone walls you...My suggestion: Rather than blame yourself, have a discussion and not confrontation with him. Confrontations invariably lead you nowhere as you will be caught in an ego tussle. Discussion is where you try and understand what's on his mind and share how you feel.
Now, will he want that? Maybe not...but if this continues, you may want to give him an ultimatum. He must know that he isn't making a great point by ignoring you and that he must communicate the same with you instead.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2022

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I am from Hyderabad. Age 40 years old . My name is XY and I’ve been married for 17 years. I have two boys. Ours is a love marriage.I felt like everything will be good and smooth but right after our elder kid was born my life changed. I am an MBA and several times I told my husband that I’d like to work. He said he’d help when the right time and opportunity comes. Until then I should nurture my kids as it's my responsibility and I should support him. But in the 2015, my kid noticed his chats with another lady. I was shocked because many times he’d refused sex with me. We’d get intimate maybe twice or thrice a year. I thought he was busy or maybe he doesn’t like my body. But when I caught him he said, what is over is over. Don't raise the topic. Leave me. I just kept quiet. He said what ever happened, I will be the same for my kids’ future sake. Many quarrels happened. But in 2020 his behaviour came to light. For example if I said anything, he'd punish me by not speaking to me for months. But he'd want me to wash his clothes and fulfil other necessities at home.Once I opened up and said I want to go for counselling. There he told the doctor, ‘She wants my property but she never allows me to care of my mom. She won't allow me to talk to my friends.’ I was shocked. I told him 'I never asked for money or property. I just want to quit.' I went home and told myself if he repeats this another time I won't take it for granted. But again in the month of February, he continued his behaviour. He shifted to another bedroom for a few months where he’d watch TV and have food. He'd even sleep in the kids’ bedroom. I stopped bothering. At some point, I felt like I deserved someone who trusts me.I want to quit because he thinks I am a loyal maid who will take care of kids and the household. He communicates with like ‘What I should get? Milk veggies etc?’ He never treats me with love and affection. Now everything is spoiled. I want to have a new life. I want to be set free from him. Please suggest what to do.
Ans:

Dear XY,

And may I ask what exactly are you waiting for?

Why did you think that by you going for counselling, your husband will change his behaviour towards you?

How is that he cheats on you and still you allow him to treat you this way?

This only shows that you have lost your strength which you need most right now.

What if you were a strong independent woman who has been working?

Would you still subject yourself to this? You know the answer!

Bring back that woman who had dreams, who knew how to walk the path, who knew how a man should treat her, who knew what a marriage really is.

Can you do this?

Your kids need their mother to stand up for herself and do the right thing.

Be the woman who will not settle for anything that disrespects a woman or another human.

Seeing this, they will also know how to treat a woman and what a woman can bring into their lives.

Do the right thing, for yourself and them. Bring back that strong, independent woman who knew this and more.

Best wishes!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am 31 year old with 1.5 year old son. I am leaving in joint family. I am a working woman. The problem with me is I feel the only person giving 100% in our relationship is me. Its been 2.5 years we got married, i am handling my expenses as I am working, i am not dependent on him but he never asks for my wishes. He never bough me anything not a single gifts, cakes anything even on special days like birthdays and our anniversaries. I am helping him in his EMIs of loan payments as well but i am not getting phisical or emotional support from him. He even gets angry when i ask for hugs. Sometimes if he gives hug he behaves like he is doing favour. Sometimes i cried at night but he didn't care and goes to sleep peacefully. When my mother in law and i got in argument he supports me less and everytime supports his mom. I helped him in paying in his sister's marriag also. He never takes mr to dates. Whenever we go outside everytime he take his family with us. He never talks to me or asks mr if I need anything. Even after coming from office he spends most of time on mobilr and watching tv. He didn't even take me to small trips, in last 2.5 year we haven't done any trips. He never tries to make me feel special. The worst part was i was alone every night during my pregnancy as hi was having night shifts at that time. When i cried infront of him that i need you tonight i am not feeling well, i am pregnant please be here with me, his answer was work is more important. Who is going to make money for our future and he left me crying at that day. I am feeling like i am the only one who is trying to keep this relationship alive. I am not getting what i expects from him. What to do in this situation.
Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the difficulties you're experiencing in your marriage. It sounds incredibly challenging and painful to feel unsupported and neglected, especially when you're putting so much effort into your relationship.

First, it's essential to acknowledge your feelings and needs. Reflect on what you truly desire from your marriage. What specific actions or behaviors do you need from your husband to feel loved and supported? Understanding your needs will help you communicate them more clearly.

When you're ready, find a calm and private moment to talk with your husband. Approach the conversation with the intention of expressing your feelings and needs without blaming or accusing him. You could say something like, "Over the past few years, I've been feeling very lonely and unsupported in our marriage. I know you work hard, and I appreciate that, but I also need emotional support and affection from you. It hurts when my needs are not acknowledged, and I feel like I'm the only one putting effort into our relationship."

Using "I" statements can help focus on your feelings without sounding accusatory, which can make your partner less defensive. For example, "I feel neglected when my emotional needs are not met," or "I feel hurt when you don't acknowledge my birthday or special occasions." This way, you're communicating your feelings without placing blame directly on him.

Be specific about what you need from him. Instead of making general statements, provide clear examples of what would make you feel better. For instance, you might say, "It would mean a lot to me if we could have some alone time, maybe go on a date once a month," or "I would love it if you could ask how my day was and really listen."

If talking to your husband directly doesn’t lead to any changes, consider seeking couples counseling. A therapist can provide a neutral space where both of you can express your feelings and work on improving your relationship. Counseling can help you both understand each other better and develop strategies to meet each other's needs more effectively.

Remember, it's crucial to take care of yourself during this process. Lean on friends or family for support, and consider speaking with a therapist on your own to help navigate these feelings and challenges. You deserve to feel loved, respected, and supported in your marriage, and it's important to advocate for your own well-being.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2025
Relationship
He ma'am, Me and my husband are of same age 35 and its been 5yrs we got married but we don't have physical relationship at all my husband says we don't have intimacy, I forced home to visit doctor and the blood reports says all okay, as per his saying cause I don't understand the medical terms much....but if everything is okay medically still he never tries to come closer earlier we tried but he use stop in between before having sex and run to washroom and sit there for long ...and this was becoming mystry for me,bi asked him he said everything is fine it will take time and everything will be fine earlier he use to use washroom for long but now he does not .....in expectation that things will become better I wasted my 5 yrs. As a person he is good but as a husband he is lacks i wated my carrier as I am not getting any job in perticular city, and with is I started feeling useless as I had dreamt of living peaceful and happy life with him but everything went wrong no love, no emotional support, no physical intimacy no carrier nothing. I shared this with my mother in law as he was behind me for baby so one day I told her that we don't have physical relationship so please don't expect baby he didn't believe me but later on she started believing but she didn't take any action she is quite...how will I survive in this environment when I don't have reason to live...my husband support my family financially and because of that I not able to take any step..I feel suffocated at my in-laws place, I don't like to stay there he just makes me happy by shopping, watching movies that it but is this enough for the happy relationship. I was so friendly with him that I said that let me know what there in your mind you don't like me he said no I like you...then I asked him then why you don't want to get physical I started getting self-doubt on myself, he said you don't respond while sex but you tell me in 5 years we hardly tried 6-7 time and I responded him but he use to run to washroom in mid of play what would I do then I tried giving him hints for having sex but he use to ignore now you say that in 5 yrs of period we didn't has sex then don't you think there's major issue and when I say we should visit doctor then he says I have medical proof that I am physically fine... coming on my MIL part she used our bedroom toilet though we have 2 washroom out is western so she uses ours so there is no privacy our bedroom is never locked because of my MIL when I Iock my husband gets early in morning and open the lock for my MI, please tell me is this right every now and then she comes in our room and interfere in our conversation, her this behaviour feels like she is insecure about his son as FIL is more...I discuss with my husband that atleast we should have our privacy so he says yes but take no action...he does commitment but never fulfills...basic expectations I have from him that if not physical then atleast spent time with me, let's go and explore place he says yes but never go, I agreed on every point I lived according to my MIL she is selfish instead of knowing all problem she just want fasting for his son, making food what he likes, doing puja for his son success...you tell me in return I am not getting anything still I kept on doing my best to prove best bshu and best wife but no good change... I going through anxiety, stress, depression because of this I lost my confidence, no carrier nothing....now I decided to look for job in other city and thing for my mental peace and become independent because staying with him in 5 yrs didn't bring good changes instead I lost myself in my making them happy...what should I do please help ...he say that I don't want weekend wife now you tell me why I not think of myself now he says, I want to stay with you but if there is not change after so many try then it's useless he always says will work this out but it never happened, I tried my best.now I said will look for job in other city and will meet in weekend spend time together, and I will be there in all your worst situation. But now I can be jobless and asking for money everytime from him....he thinks money is the solution for all.He says no weekend wife how long this will work then but he is not giving me any choice, he says though I want to stay with you but if weekend wife the seperation is only option no divorce but seperation please guide *regarding physical relationship, *regarding my MIL interference despite of knowing everything, no privacy, her insecurity *And my decision of taking job in other as I am not getting opportunity in same city, staying together is also brings no change. Pls suggest.
Ans: The issue with the lack of physical intimacy is not simply about the act itself; it represents a disconnect in your relationship. Your husband's avoidance of intimacy and his reluctance to fully address the matter, despite your efforts, suggest deeper underlying challenges—perhaps emotional, psychological, or situational. While you’ve already taken steps by opening conversations, it’s clear that progress has stalled because this isn’t something you can resolve on your own. A professional intervention, such as couples therapy or sex therapy, could provide a neutral ground to explore these concerns. Presenting this option to him as an opportunity to strengthen the relationship rather than assign blame might help him feel less defensive. However, his willingness to engage will be a critical measure of his commitment to addressing these long-standing issues.

The lack of boundaries with your mother-in-law is another significant stressor that’s undermining your marriage and your mental peace. A healthy relationship requires a sense of security and privacy, which has been compromised by her interference. While it’s natural to want to maintain respect within a family, your husband’s inability or unwillingness to enforce boundaries is enabling a dynamic where you feel powerless and overlooked. The fact that you’ve expressed your concerns and seen no action suggests that waiting for change may not lead anywhere. You need to clearly communicate to your husband that privacy is not negotiable for the survival of your relationship. If he continues to prioritize his mother’s comfort over your peace, it will remain a barrier to the intimacy and connection you’re seeking.

The decision to pursue a job in another city reflects your need to reclaim control over your life and mental well-being. This isn’t just about financial independence—it’s about rediscovering your sense of purpose and confidence after years of feeling stuck. Your husband’s opposition to the idea of a “weekend wife” underscores his resistance to change, but his reluctance to address the core issues in the relationship leaves you with no alternative. Staying in this environment without progress will only deepen your feelings of suffocation and self-doubt. Choosing to prioritize your career is not a failure of the relationship; it’s a necessary step to protect your own mental health. You’ve already demonstrated immense patience and effort over the past five years, and now it’s time to invest in yourself.

As a coach, I would encourage you to focus on actionable steps: seeking therapy for clarity, setting non-negotiable boundaries with your husband regarding privacy and mutual respect, and pursuing your professional goals with confidence. By stepping into a space where you feel empowered, you’ll be in a better position to assess whether this relationship can evolve into the partnership you deserve. It’s important to remember that you’re not walking away from the marriage by making these decisions—you’re simply ensuring that your needs and well-being are no longer sidelined.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2025Hindi
Relationship
He ma'am, Me and my husband are of same age 35 and its been 5yrs we got married but we don't have physical relationship at all my husband says we don't have intimacy, I forced home to visit doctor and the blood reports says all okay, as per his saying cause I don't understand the medical terms much....but if everything is okay medically still he never tries to come closer earlier we tried but he use stop in between before having sex and run to washroom and sit there for long ...and this was becoming mystry for me,bi asked him he said everything is fine it will take time and everything will be fine earlier he use to use washroom for long but now he does not .....in expectation that things will become better I wasted my 5 yrs. As a person he is good but as a husband he is lacks i wated my carrier as I am not getting any job in perticular city, and with is I started feeling useless as I had dreamt of living peaceful and happy life with him but everything went wrong no love, no emotional support, no physical intimacy no carrier nothing. I shared this with my mother in law as he was behind me for baby so one day I told her that we don't have physical relationship so please don't expect baby he didn't believe me but later on she started believing but she didn't take any action she is quite...how will I survive in this environment when I don't have reason to live...my husband support my family financially and because of that I not able to take any step..I feel suffocated at my in-laws place, I don't like to stay there he just makes me happy by shopping, watching movies that it but is this enough for the happy relationship. I was so friendly with him that I said that let me know what there in your mind you don't like me he said no I like you...then I asked him then why you don't want to get physical I started getting self-doubt on myself, he said you don't respond while sex but you tell me in 5 years we hardly tried 6-7 time and I responded him but he use to run to washroom in mid of play what would I do then I tried giving him hints for having sex but he use to ignore now you say that in 5 yrs of period we didn't has sex then don't you think there's major issue and when I say we should visit doctor then he says I have medical proof that I am physically fine... coming on my MIL part she used our bedroom toilet though we have 2 washroom out is western so she uses ours so there is no privacy our bedroom is never locked because of my MIL when I Iock my husband gets early in morning and open the lock for my MI, please tell me is this right every now and then she comes in our room and interfere in our conversation, her this behaviour feels like she is insecure about his son as FIL is more...I discuss with my husband that atleast we should have our privacy so he says yes but take no action...he does commitment but never fulfills...basic expectations I have from him that if not physical then atleast spent time with me, let's go and explore place he says yes but never go, I agreed on every point I lived according to my MIL she is selfish instead of knowing all problem she just want fasting for his son, making food what he likes, doing puja for his son success...you tell me in return I am not getting anything still I kept on doing my best to prove best bshu and best wife but no good change... I going through anxiety, stress, depression because of this I lost my confidence, no carrier nothing....now I decided to look for job in other city and thing for my mental peace and become independent because staying with him in 5 yrs didn't bring good changes instead I lost myself in my making them happy...what should I do please help ...he say that I don't want weekend wife now you tell me why I not think of myself now he says, I want to stay with you but if there is not change after so many try then it's useless he always says will work this out but it never happened, I tried my best.now I said will look for job in other city and will meet in weekend spend time together, and I will be there in all your worst situation. But now I can be jobless and asking for money everytime from him....he thinks money is the solution for all.He says no weekend wife how long this will work then but he is not giving me any choice, he says though I want to stay with you but if weekend wife the seperation is only option no divorce but seperation please guide *regarding physical relationship, *regarding my MIL interference despite of knowing everything, no privacy, her insecurity *And my decision of taking job in other as I am not getting opportunity in same city, staying together is also brings no change. Pls suggest.
Ans: The issue with the lack of physical intimacy is not simply about the act itself; it represents a disconnect in your relationship. Your husband's avoidance of intimacy and his reluctance to fully address the matter, despite your efforts, suggest deeper underlying challenges—perhaps emotional, psychological, or situational. While you’ve already taken steps by opening conversations, it’s clear that progress has stalled because this isn’t something you can resolve on your own. A professional intervention, such as couples therapy or sex therapy, could provide a neutral ground to explore these concerns. Presenting this option to him as an opportunity to strengthen the relationship rather than assign blame might help him feel less defensive. However, his willingness to engage will be a critical measure of his commitment to addressing these long-standing issues.

The lack of boundaries with your mother-in-law is another significant stressor that’s undermining your marriage and your mental peace. A healthy relationship requires a sense of security and privacy, which has been compromised by her interference. While it’s natural to want to maintain respect within a family, your husband’s inability or unwillingness to enforce boundaries is enabling a dynamic where you feel powerless and overlooked. The fact that you’ve expressed your concerns and seen no action suggests that waiting for change may not lead anywhere. You need to clearly communicate to your husband that privacy is not negotiable for the survival of your relationship. If he continues to prioritize his mother’s comfort over your peace, it will remain a barrier to the intimacy and connection you’re seeking.

The decision to pursue a job in another city reflects your need to reclaim control over your life and mental well-being. This isn’t just about financial independence—it’s about rediscovering your sense of purpose and confidence after years of feeling stuck. Your husband’s opposition to the idea of a “weekend wife” underscores his resistance to change, but his reluctance to address the core issues in the relationship leaves you with no alternative. Staying in this environment without progress will only deepen your feelings of suffocation and self-doubt. Choosing to prioritize your career is not a failure of the relationship; it’s a necessary step to protect your own mental health. You’ve already demonstrated immense patience and effort over the past five years, and now it’s time to invest in yourself.

As a coach, I would encourage you to focus on actionable steps: seeking therapy for clarity, setting non-negotiable boundaries with your husband regarding privacy and mutual respect, and pursuing your professional goals with confidence. By stepping into a space where you feel empowered, you’ll be in a better position to assess whether this relationship can evolve into the partnership you deserve. It’s important to remember that you’re not walking away from the marriage by making these decisions—you’re simply ensuring that your needs and well-being are no longer sidelined.

..Read more

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Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |113 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

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I am 44 age having son 8yrs., having Health Cover plan, I have MF 12lacs+ Investments in direct Equity MF (Large+MID+Small+Digital fund) +Post Investment 7lacs, PPF 7Lacs + PPF 5Lacs, Wife & Me both have total SIP Investments Total of Rs. 20,000 SIP and PPF 5000p.m. planning for 10-11Years, I want, child Edu 30lacs + Retirement Plan 70,000 p.m. + Health cover after 10-11 years till life age 80. Pls. Advice above plan is ok?. and Please don't share my Deatils to anyone or display any where. Thanks in advance.
Ans: You are 44 years old with an 8-year-old son and have already built a strong financial base through mutual funds, direct equity, PPF, post office schemes, and regular SIPs. Your current investments include around ?12 lakh in mutual funds, ?7 lakh in post office savings, ?12 lakh combined in PPF accounts, and ongoing SIPs of ?20,000 per month, along with ?5,000 monthly PPF contributions. You also have health insurance in place, which is a major positive.

Your key goals are funding your child’s education (?30 lakh in 10–11 years), securing retirement income of ?70,000 per month, and ensuring lifelong health coverage up to age 80. With a 10–11 year horizon, your education goal is achievable by allocating about ?15,000–?18,000 per month to equity-oriented mutual funds and gradually shifting to debt funds closer to the goal. For retirement, a corpus of roughly ?1.6–?1.8 crore is required, and your current savings put you on track, though a small increase in SIPs during income growth years will strengthen the plan. Maintain a balanced asset allocation, increase protection via a super top-up health plan later, and stay disciplined to achieve all goals.
Regards, Nitin Narkhede -Founder, Prosperity Lifestyle Hub,
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Nitin Narkhede  |113 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
Money
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You are facing a payday-loan debt trap, which is stressful but solvable. The most important step is to stop taking any new loans or rollovers immediately, as they worsen the situation. List all existing loans with amounts, due dates, and penalties to regain control. Contact each lender and request hardship support such as penalty freezes, installment plans, or settlements—many lenders agree when approached honestly. If possible, close all payday loans using one safer option like a salary advance, employer loan, NBFC loan, or limited family support, as a single structured loan is better than multiple high-cost ones. Share your situation with one trusted person to reduce emotional pressure. Follow a strict short-term budget focusing only on essentials and direct any extra income toward loan closure. Avoid absconding, illegal lenders, or using credit cards for cash. With discipline and negotiation, recovery is achievable within 12–18 months. Regards, Nitin Narkhede -Founder, Prosperity Lifestyle Hub,
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
Money
Good Morning Sir, I am having a Mutual Fund portfolio of 3.7 Crores, Savings account balance in India of 10 lacs, and PPF/Sukanya Samriddhi/NPS of around 30 lacs. My savings account in UAE has about 30 lacs. I have lost my job and am currently trying to get one. We will be in the UAE till July so that my daughter can complete her school year. If I get a job by then, it will be great; but if not, will I be able to retire with these funds? Please assume that the UAE savings account will be depleted by July during relocation. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Your financial discipline over many years deserves appreciation.
You stayed invested with patience.
You built wealth across countries.
This foundation gives you real confidence now.

» Current Life Stage and Context
– You are facing temporary job loss.
– You are still financially independent.
– UAE stay continues till July.
– Relocation costs are already planned.
– This phase needs calm decisions.
– Fear is natural, but clarity matters.

» Family Responsibilities Snapshot
– You have a school-going daughter.
– Education continuity is a priority.
– Stability for the child matters emotionally.
– Your planning already reflects responsibility.
– This strengthens your overall position.

» Asset Position Review
– Mutual fund portfolio is Rs.3.7 Crores.
– Indian savings account holds Rs.10 lacs.
– Long-term savings total about Rs.30 lacs.
– UAE savings will reduce to zero.
– Home ownership lowers future expenses.
– Net worth remains strong even after relocation.

» Liquidity and Cash Comfort
– Indian savings give immediate support.
– Mutual funds provide large liquidity.
– Withdrawals can be staggered wisely.
– Forced selling is avoidable.
– This protects capital during volatility.

» Job Loss Impact Assessment
– Income disruption affects confidence.
– It does not erase financial strength.
– You have time to decide.
– Rushed retirement decisions harm outcomes.
– Temporary gaps need flexible planning.

» Can You Retire If Job Does Not Come
– Retirement is possible with discipline.
– It requires expense control.
– It needs structured withdrawals.
– Lifestyle choices become important.
– Emotional readiness is equally critical.

» Early Retirement Reality Check
– Retirement at mid-forties is early.
– Corpus must last many decades.
– Inflation will work continuously.
– Growth assets cannot be abandoned.
– Balance is more important than returns.

» Role of Mutual Funds Going Forward
– Mutual funds remain core growth assets.
– Equity exposure should stay meaningful.
– Allocation should become more balanced.
– Risk control becomes more important now.
– Portfolio reviews must be regular.

» Why Actively Managed Funds Suit You
– Active funds respond to market stress.
– Fund managers adjust sector exposure.
– Valuation discipline is applied.
– Index funds fall fully with markets.
– Passive exposure increases drawdown risk.
– Active management supports smoother retirement.

» Managing Equity Volatility During Retirement
– Sudden market falls can hurt withdrawals.
– Selling equity during crashes damages corpus.
– Withdrawal planning must protect equity.
– Buffer assets reduce stress.
– This approach improves sustainability.

» Importance of Stable Assets
– Stable assets support monthly expenses.
– They reduce emotional reactions.
– They protect during market corrections.
– They fund short-term needs.
– This gives peace of mind.

» Role of Government-Backed Savings
– PPF and similar provide safety.
– Returns are predictable.
– Liquidity rules must be respected.
– These should not fund early expenses.
– They act as long-term protection.

» Expense Planning After Returning to India
– Living in owned home lowers costs.
– India expenses are lower than UAE.
– Lifestyle inflation must be avoided.
– Spending discipline extends corpus life.
– Regular tracking becomes essential.

» Education Planning for Your Daughter
– Education costs will rise steadily.
– This goal cannot face market risk alone.
– Dedicated allocation is required.
– Avoid mixing education money with retirement.
– Separate mental buckets improve clarity.

» Tax Considerations During Withdrawals
– Equity mutual fund withdrawals attract capital gains tax.
– Long-term gains above Rs.1.25 lakh are taxed.
– Short-term gains attract higher tax.
– Withdrawal sequencing reduces tax burden.
– Proper planning avoids unnecessary taxes.

» Health and Protection Planning
– Health insurance must be adequate.
– Employer cover may stop.
– Medical inflation is severe.
– Health costs can derail plans.
– Protection safeguards your corpus.

» Psychological Readiness for Retirement
– Retirement is not only financial.
– Loss of routine can disturb balance.
– Purpose keeps mind active.
– Part-time work can help.
– Engagement supports mental health.

» Semi-Retirement as a Practical Option
– Consulting reduces withdrawal pressure.
– Flexible work gives confidence.
– Income extends corpus life.
– Market volatility becomes easier to handle.
– This option offers balance.

» Time Advantage You Still Have
– You still have working years.
– One job changes everything positively.
– Corpus continues to compound.
– Do not rush permanent decisions.
– Allow time for clarity.

» Mistakes to Avoid Now
– Avoid panic selling.
– Avoid drastic asset changes.
– Avoid chasing guaranteed returns.
– Avoid emotional decisions.
– Stability protects wealth.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– Helps structure withdrawals.
– Aligns assets with goals.
– Manages risk during uncertainty.
– Protects child education goals.
– Provides clarity and confidence.

» Final Insights
– Your financial base is strong.
– Retirement is possible with discipline.
– Job income adds comfort, not necessity.
– Balanced asset allocation is essential.
– Active fund management suits this stage.
– Emotional calm will protect decisions.
– Structured planning ensures long-term peace.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
Money
Good Morning Sir, I am having a Mutual Fund portfolio of 3.7 Crores, Savings account balance in India of 10 lacs, and PPF/Sukanya Samriddhi/NPS of around 30 lacs. My savings account in UAE has about 30 lacs. I have lost my job and am currently trying to get one. We will be in the UAE till July so that my daughter can complete her school year. If I get a job by then, it will be great; but if not, will I be able to retire with these funds? Please assume that the UAE savings account will be depleted by July during relocation. I have my own apartment in Delhi and present age is 46 with daughter age is 13 Kindly suggest.
Ans: Your discipline over years deserves appreciation.
You built wealth across phases.
You avoided lifestyle inflation.
You planned even while abroad.
This gives you strength now.
Job loss does not erase past discipline.

» Current Life Situation Assessment
– You are 46 years old.
– Your daughter is 13 years old.
– You are temporarily without income.
– UAE stay continues till July.
– Relocation costs are already considered.
– Emotional stress is natural now.

» Asset Snapshot and Financial Base
– Mutual fund portfolio is Rs.3.7 Crores.
– Indian savings account holds Rs.10 lacs.
– Long-term government-backed savings are Rs.30 lacs.
– UAE savings of Rs.30 lacs will deplete.
– You own a Delhi apartment.
– No mention of liabilities exists.

» Net Worth Strength Perspective
– Financial assets remain very strong.
– Market-linked assets dominate wealth.
– Liquidity exists even after relocation.
– Home ownership reduces living pressure.
– This is a solid base.
– Many retirees have far less.

» Employment Gap Impact Review
– Job loss impacts cash flow.
– It does not destroy wealth.
– Time gap creates anxiety.
– Planning reduces fear.
– Your corpus buys time.
– Decisions must remain calm.

» Key Question You Are Asking
– Can I retire if job fails.
– Can corpus last lifelong.
– Can child education be protected.
– Can lifestyle be sustained.
– Can risk be managed.
– These are valid concerns.

» Retirement Age and Horizon View
– Retirement at 46 is early.
– Life expectancy is long.
– Corpus must last decades.
– Inflation will work continuously.
– Growth assets remain essential.
– Protection planning becomes critical.

» Expense Reality After India Return
– Living in owned home helps.
– Rent expense becomes zero.
– India costs are lower than UAE.
– School expenses will continue.
– Lifestyle moderation may be required.
– Flexibility improves sustainability.

» Child Education Responsibility
– Daughter is 13 now.
– Higher education remains ahead.
– Education costs will rise.
– This cannot be compromised.
– Planning must ring-fence this goal.
– Separate allocation is necessary.

» Current Liquidity Comfort
– Indian savings give short-term support.
– Mutual funds give long-term strength.
– PPF and similar give safety.
– Liquidity is adequate now.
– Emergency comfort exists.
– Panic actions are avoidable.

» Can You Retire Immediately
– Technically possible with discipline.
– Practically requires lifestyle alignment.
– Emotionally may feel uncomfortable.
– Job income adds safety.
– Partial work may help.
– Full stop is not mandatory.

» Semi-Retirement as a Middle Path
– Consulting work can reduce pressure.
– Part-time roles give confidence.
– Income reduces withdrawal stress.
– Corpus continues compounding.
– Psychological comfort improves.
– This is often ideal.

» Withdrawal Risk Awareness
– Early retirement faces sequence risk.
– Market downturns can hurt withdrawals.
– Timing matters greatly.
– Structured withdrawal planning is critical.
– Random redemptions harm corpus.
– Discipline protects longevity.

» Mutual Fund Portfolio Role
– Mutual funds remain growth engine.
– They must be managed actively.
– Asset allocation matters more now.
– Aggression should slowly reduce.
– Quality focus becomes key.
– Overlapping exposure must be reviewed.

» Why Active Management Matters Now
– Active funds adjust during downturns.
– Valuations are monitored.
– Risk is controlled dynamically.
– Index exposure falls fully.
– Drawdowns can be harsh.
– Active oversight suits retirees better.

» Debt Allocation Importance
– Debt provides stability.
– Debt funds withdrawals calmly.
– Debt avoids forced equity selling.
– It smoothens cash flow.
– Peace of mind improves.
– Balance is essential now.

» Role of Government-Backed Savings
– PPF and similar give safety.
– They provide predictability.
– Liquidity rules must be respected.
– They support capital protection.
– Keep them untouched longer.
– They act as anchor.

» Managing Market Volatility Emotionally
– Job loss increases fear.
– Markets amplify emotions.
– Avoid reacting to headlines.
– Follow pre-set plan.
– Review annually only.
– Emotional discipline is wealth.

» Tax Awareness During Withdrawals
– Equity withdrawals attract capital gains tax.
– Long-term gains above Rs.1.25 lakh are taxed.
– Short-term gains attract higher tax.
– Withdrawal sequencing matters.
– Tax efficiency improves longevity.
– Planning avoids surprises.

» What You Should Avoid Now
– Avoid panic selling.
– Avoid liquidating entire equity.
– Avoid chasing guaranteed returns.
– Avoid lending informally.
– Avoid untested products.
– Simplicity protects capital.

» Health and Insurance Angle
– Health cover must be strong.
– Job-linked cover may end.
– Family protection is critical.
– Medical inflation is high.
– Review coverage immediately.
– This safeguards corpus.

» Lifestyle Adjustment Reality
– Retirement needs conscious spending.
– Wants must be filtered.
– Needs must be secured.
– Child education stays priority.
– Travel plans may adjust.
– Control gives confidence.

» Psychological Side of Early Retirement
– Identity loss may occur.
– Work gives structure.
– Social engagement matters.
– Purpose prevents anxiety.
– Financial independence is not idleness.
– Mental planning is vital.

» Time as Your Biggest Asset
– You still have years.
– Corpus can still grow.
– One good job changes picture.
– Do not rush decisions.
– Allow six to twelve months.
– Calm thinking improves outcomes.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– Helps structure withdrawals.
– Aligns assets with life stages.
– Prevents emotional mistakes.
– Reviews asset allocation.
– Protects child goals.
– Adds clarity in uncertainty.

» Final Insights
– Your financial base is strong.
– Immediate retirement is possible with discipline.
– Job income adds safety and comfort.
– Semi-retirement is a balanced option.
– Child education must be ring-fenced.
– Active fund management suits your stage.
– Liquidity and debt bring stability.
– Patience and structure will protect your future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Money
45 years of age, self employed. I am selling my flat and after paying all taxes/capital gains should have roughly about 70 lakhs to invest. I already have 65 lakhs in MF, 95 lakhs portfolio in equity and also have couple more real estate properties where i fetch about 1 lakh.per month rental income. My monthly earning currently is irratic and annually around 10-12lakhs. No EMI , LOANS ETC. outgoing are SIP OF 60000, anything surplus I invest in equity. Child is 8 years and his education, future education, current fees all are made up for as mentioned and my wife together do SIP OF 110000 towards the same. My question is my wife and my investments are all exposed to MF AND equity. NO FD, NO OTHER diversified investments. So this income from sale of flat, do we invest in markets again or any other options are available. We have no liabilities , hence can take medium to agressive risks .
Ans: Your discipline and clarity deserve appreciation.
You have built assets patiently.
You avoided unnecessary debt wisely.
Your questions show maturity and foresight.
This is a strong financial position already.
Now refinement matters more than expansion.

» Your Current Financial Strength
– You are 45 years old.
– You are self-employed with flexibility.
– Annual income is irregular but healthy.
– No loans or EMIs exist.
– Rental income provides stability.
– This is a strong base.

» Asset Overview and Balance
– Mutual fund exposure is significant.
– Direct equity exposure is also large.
– Real estate exposure already exists.
– Child education planning is well handled.
– SIP discipline is excellent.
– Overall net worth is strong.

» Liquidity and Cash Flow Position
– Rental income gives steady monthly cash.
– Business income is uneven.
– SIP commitments are comfortably met.
– Surplus is invested regularly.
– Liquidity buffer needs assessment.
– Emergency comfort matters for self-employed.

» Risk Capacity Versus Risk Comfort
– Risk capacity is clearly high.
– Risk comfort also seems high.
– However concentration risk exists.
– Markets dominate portfolio exposure.
– Volatility impact must be evaluated.
– Diversification is the real concern.

» Understanding Concentration Risk
– Equity and mutual funds move together.
– Market downturns affect both sharply.
– Psychological stress can increase.
– Liquidity may dry temporarily.
– Long-term returns remain good.
– But timing risk exists.

» Your Core Question Clarified
– You are not asking about returns.
– You are asking about balance.
– You want intelligent diversification.
– You want risk-managed growth.
– You want capital protection layers.
– This is correct thinking.

» Should the Rs.70 Lakhs Enter Markets Fully
– Putting all again into markets increases concentration.
– It magnifies timing risk.
– Even strong investors need balance.
– Markets may not always cooperate.
– Partial allocation is sensible.
– Phased deployment is wiser.

» Importance of Staggered Investment
– Lump sum market entry carries timing risk.
– Volatility can impact short-term value.
– Phased investing smoothens entry.
– Emotion management improves.
– Decision quality stays high.
– Discipline matters even for experienced investors.

» Role of Debt-Oriented Instruments
– Debt provides stability to portfolio.
– Debt reduces overall volatility.
– Debt supports rebalancing later.
– Debt gives liquidity comfort.
– Returns are predictable.
– Peace of mind improves decision making.

» Why Some Debt Exposure Is Necessary
– You are self-employed.
– Income is irregular.
– Markets can fall anytime.
– Debt cushions lifestyle needs.
– Avoid forced equity selling.
– This protects long-term wealth.

» Debt Mutual Funds Perspective
– Debt funds offer flexibility.
– They are more tax-efficient than fixed deposits.
– Liquidity is better.
– Suitable for medium-term goals.
– Risk varies by fund quality.
– Selection must be conservative.

» Avoiding Fixed Deposits Blindly
– Fixed deposits lock money.
– Tax efficiency is poor.
– Returns barely beat inflation.
– Liquidity may have penalties.
– Better alternatives exist.
– Structure matters more than familiarity.

» Hybrid and Balanced Allocation Thought
– Hybrid funds mix growth and stability.
– Volatility remains controlled.
– Suitable for capital protection.
– Good parking for part capital.
– Helps rebalancing automatically.
– Useful during uncertain markets.

» Why Actively Managed Funds Suit You
– Active managers adjust with cycles.
– Valuations matter to them.
– Sector rotation is managed.
– Downside protection improves.
– Concentration risk reduces.
– Passive exposure lacks this flexibility.

» Disadvantages of Index Exposure
– Index follows markets blindly.
– No valuation control exists.
– Drawdowns are full impact.
– Recovery takes patience.
– Emotional stress increases.
– Active management adds value here.

» Existing Equity Portfolio Review Thought
– Equity exposure is already high.
– Additional equity should be selective.
– Avoid duplication across holdings.
– Style diversification matters.
– Avoid over-aggression now.
– Capital preservation gains importance.

» Asset Allocation Direction Suggested
– Equity should still remain majority.
– Debt should act as stabiliser.
– Allocation must be intentional.
– Not reactive to market moods.
– Review annually.
– Adjust gradually with age.

» Emergency and Opportunity Fund
– Self-employed professionals need buffers.
– At least one year expenses covered.
– This avoids panic during downturns.
– Opportunity buying also becomes possible.
– Confidence improves decision making.
– Liquidity brings power.

» Role of Alternative Strategies
– Avoid unregulated products.
– Avoid opaque structures.
– Simplicity works best.
– Transparency builds trust.
– Liquidity should not be compromised.
– Focus on controllable risks.

» Tax Efficiency Awareness
– Capital gains planning matters.
– Phased investing helps tax management.
– Debt funds taxed per slab.
– Equity taxed on withdrawal.
– Withdrawal planning matters later.
– Structure supports efficiency.

» Retirement Planning Angle
– Retirement is still distant.
– But preparation must start.
– Equity will power long-term growth.
– Debt will stabilise income later.
– Balanced build-up helps future SWP.
– This foresight is valuable.

» Child Goal Already Secured
– Education planning is strong.
– SIP discipline is excellent.
– No need to disturb this.
– Avoid overlapping investments.
– Keep child goal separate.
– This reduces confusion later.

» Behavioural Discipline Strength
– You already invest consistently.
– You avoid panic actions.
– You reinvest surplus logically.
– This is rare.
– Maintain this strength.
– Do not complicate unnecessarily.

» What Not to Do With Rs.70 Lakhs
– Do not rush entire amount.
– Do not chase trending assets.
– Do not over-diversify blindly.
– Do not keep idle long-term.
– Do not ignore risk layering.
– Avoid emotional decisions.

» Suggested Deployment Philosophy
– Divide money by purpose.
– Some for stability.
– Some for growth.
– Some for liquidity.
– Invest gradually.
– Review annually.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– Helps structure allocation.
– Prevents overexposure mistakes.
– Aligns with life goals.
– Manages behavioural risks.
– Reviews objectively.
– Adds long-term value.

» Final Insights
– Your financial base is strong.
– Concentration risk is the key concern.
– Full market reinvestment needs caution.
– Partial debt allocation improves balance.
– Phased investing reduces timing risk.
– Active management suits your profile.
– Liquidity buffer is essential.
– Structured diversification will protect and grow wealth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Money
I am 54 years old, my monthly salary is 40 K, my liability 6 lakhs loan liability and personal from 2 lakhs in ICICI bank, and 5000 two wheeler loan from hdfc and another loan of Rs, 35000 from LIC Policy pledged. I invested Rs. 58000 in stocks and Rs. 15000 in mutual funds and I have owned a residential house in kochi, Kerala No Other Savings. Pls. advise to how can I some savings at the age of 60
Ans: You have shown courage by asking this question honestly.
Many people avoid facing numbers at this age.
You are taking responsibility now.
That itself is a strong positive step.
There is still time to improve outcomes.
With discipline, progress is possible.

» Current Age and Time Availability
– You are 54 years old now.
– Retirement planning window is around six years.
– Time is limited but not over.
– Focus must shift to stability and control.
– Aggressive risks should reduce gradually.
– Consistency matters more than return chasing.

» Income Position Assessment
– Monthly salary is Rs.40,000.
– Income appears fixed and predictable.
– Salary growth may be limited now.
– Planning should assume stable income only.
– Avoid depending on uncertain future hikes.
– Savings must come from discipline.

» Expense Awareness and Reality
– Expenses were not detailed fully.
– Loans indicate cash flow pressure.
– Lifestyle spending must be reviewed honestly.
– Small savings matter at this stage.
– Leakages need strict control.
– Tracking expenses becomes critical now.

» Loan and Liability Overview
– Total loan burden is significant.
– Personal loan of Rs.6 lakh exists.
– Additional Rs.2 lakh personal loan exists.
– Two-wheeler loan EMI of Rs.5,000 runs.
– LIC policy loan of Rs.35,000 exists.
– Multiple loans increase stress.

» Interest Cost Impact
– Personal loans carry high interest.
– Two-wheeler loan also costs more.
– LIC policy loan reduces policy benefits.
– High interest erodes future savings.
– Loan control must be first priority.
– Returns cannot beat high interest easily.

» Asset Position Overview
– Residential house in Kochi is owned.
– House gives living security.
– No rental income assumed currently.
– House should not be sold for retirement.
– Emotional and practical value is high.
– Treat it as safety asset.

» Investment Snapshot
– Equity stock investment is Rs.58,000.
– Mutual fund investment is Rs.15,000.
– Total financial investments are very low.
– This limits compounding benefits.
– However, starting now still helps.
– Even small steps matter.

» Liquidity and Emergency Status
– No clear emergency fund exists.
– Loans indicate past emergencies.
– Lack of emergency fund causes borrowing.
– This cycle must stop.
– Emergency fund is foundation.
– Without it, savings break repeatedly.

» Priority Reset Required
– Retirement savings come after stability.
– First priority is cash flow control.
– Second priority is loan reduction.
– Third priority is emergency fund.
– Fourth priority is retirement investing.
– Order matters greatly now.

» Debt Reduction Strategy Importance
– Reducing loans gives guaranteed returns.
– Emotional relief also improves discipline.
– Fewer EMIs free monthly cash.
– Cash can redirect to savings.
– Retirement planning needs free cash flow.
– Debt blocks future progress.

» Which Loan to Target First
– Focus on highest interest loan first.
– Personal loans usually cost the most.
– Two-wheeler loan can follow.
– LIC policy loan should close early.
– Policy value should recover.
– Avoid new borrowing strictly.

» LIC Policy Review
– LIC policy is pledged currently.
– This reduces maturity value.
– Many LIC policies give low returns.
– Insurance and investment are mixed here.
– Such policies hurt retirement efficiency.
– Review purpose of this policy carefully.

» Action on LIC Policy
– If LIC is investment-oriented, reconsider.
– Surrender may free funds.
– Loan can be cleared using surrender value.
– Remaining amount can rebuild savings.
– Policy continuation must justify benefits.
– Emotional attachment should be avoided.

» Emergency Fund Creation
– Emergency fund should cover basic expenses.
– Target at least six months needs.
– Start with small monthly amount.
– Keep it separate from investments.
– This prevents future borrowing.
– Stability improves mental peace.

» Retirement Goal Reality Check
– Retirement age is close.
– Corpus building time is short.
– Expectations must stay realistic.
– Focus on supplementary income creation.
– Avoid risky return promises.
– Capital protection becomes important.

» Role of Equity at This Stage
– Equity still has a role.
– But exposure must be limited.
– Volatility can hurt near retirement.
– Balanced approach is needed.
– Equity for growth.
– Debt for stability.

» Mutual Fund Strategy Thought Process
– Mutual funds offer flexibility.
– SIP helps discipline monthly savings.
– Actively managed funds suit this phase.
– Fund managers adjust risk dynamically.
– This protects downside better.
– Index funds lack such control.

» Why Index Funds Are Risky Now
– Index funds fall fully with markets.
– No protection during market crashes.
– Near retirement, recovery time is less.
– Emotional panic risk increases.
– Active funds manage risk better.
– Stability matters more than matching index.

» Direct Funds Versus Regular Funds
– Direct funds need strong self-discipline.
– Wrong fund choice can hurt badly.
– No guidance during market stress.
– Regular funds offer support.
– Certified Financial Planner guidance helps.
– Behaviour management is crucial now.

» Monthly Savings Possibility
– Even Rs.3,000 matters now.
– Start small but stay consistent.
– Increase amount after loan closure.
– Automate savings immediately after salary.
– Avoid waiting for surplus.
– Surplus never comes automatically.

» Expense Rationalisation Steps
– Review subscriptions and discretionary spends.
– Reduce non-essential expenses.
– Delay lifestyle upgrades.
– Focus on needs over wants.
– Every saved rupee counts.
– Discipline builds confidence.

» Asset Allocation Approach
– Majority should be stable assets.
– Smaller portion in growth assets.
– Avoid concentration risk.
– Do not chase trending stocks.
– Consistency beats speculation.
– Preservation becomes key now.

» Stock Investment Review
– Existing stocks need careful review.
– Avoid frequent trading.
– High risk stocks should reduce gradually.
– Capital protection matters now.
– Reinvest proceeds wisely.
– Emotional decisions must stop.

» Retirement Income Planning Thought
– Retirement income must be predictable.
– Monthly cash flow is required.
– Capital should last longer.
– Avoid lump sum withdrawals.
– Planning must support longevity.
– Health costs may rise later.

» Health Insurance Importance
– Medical expenses rise with age.
– Adequate health insurance is essential.
– This protects retirement savings.
– Avoid policy gaps.
– Review coverage annually.
– Health shocks destroy savings fast.

» Tax Efficiency Consideration
– Tax should be considered carefully.
– Mutual funds offer tax efficiency.
– Gains taxed only on withdrawal.
– Equity gains have specific rules.
– Debt gains taxed as per slab.
– Planning reduces unnecessary tax.

» Behavioural Discipline Required
– Market volatility will test patience.
– Avoid panic selling.
– Avoid greed-driven buying.
– Stick to chosen path.
– Annual review is sufficient.
– Emotional control is critical.

» Role of Side Income
– Explore small side income options.
– Skill-based work can help.
– Even small extra income helps.
– Direct it fully into savings.
– Do not increase lifestyle.
– Purpose is retirement security.

» Family Communication
– Family should know limitations.
– Set realistic expectations together.
– Avoid financial surprises later.
– Transparency reduces stress.
– Shared responsibility helps discipline.
– Support improves success chances.

» Common Mistakes to Avoid
– Chasing high return promises.
– Ignoring debt problem.
– Using retirement money for emergencies.
– Frequent portfolio changes.
– Delaying action further.
– Comparing with others.

» Psychological Aspect
– Guilt about late start is normal.
– Do not dwell on past.
– Focus on controllable actions now.
– Small wins build confidence.
– Progress matters more than perfection.
– Hope must stay alive.

» What Success Looks Like Now
– Reduced debt burden.
– Emergency fund in place.
– Regular monthly savings habit.
– Controlled risk exposure.
– Predictable retirement income support.
– Peace of mind.

» Final Insights
– You are late but not helpless.
– Debt reduction is first priority.
– Emergency fund is essential.
– LIC policy needs careful review.
– Mutual funds can support retirement.
– Active management suits your stage.
– Discipline matters more than amount.
– With steady effort, improvement is possible.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Money
can anyone suggest some good mutual funds to invest ?
Ans: It is good you are asking this question.
Many people invest blindly without understanding.
Your intent shows responsibility and awareness.
This is the right starting point.
Mutual funds work best with clarity.
I appreciate your willingness to learn.

» Understanding the Real Question
– You are not asking for returns alone.
– You are asking for safety and growth.
– You want confidence in decisions.
– You want fewer mistakes.
– This mindset is very important.
– Mutual funds need goal-based thinking.

» Why “Good Mutual Funds” Is a Relative Term
– There is no single best fund.
– Suitability matters more than popularity.
– Age changes risk tolerance.
– Income stability matters.
– Time horizon matters greatly.
– Emotional comfort also matters.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– A Certified Financial Planner matches funds to goals.
– Random suggestions often fail.
– Personal context decides suitability.
– Fund selection is not guessing.
– It is a structured process.
– Guidance prevents costly mistakes.

» First Step Before Choosing Any Fund
– Identify your goal clearly.
– Short term goals differ from long term.
– Retirement goals need stability.
– Wealth creation needs patience.
– Emergency money should stay separate.
– Mixing goals creates confusion.

» Importance of Time Horizon
– Less than three years needs safety.
– Three to seven years needs balance.
– More than seven years allows growth focus.
– Time absorbs market volatility.
– Longer time reduces risk.
– Short time increases uncertainty.

» Understanding Risk Properly
– Risk is not loss alone.
– Risk is emotional panic also.
– Wrong fund causes sleepless nights.
– Panic selling destroys wealth.
– Right fund keeps you calm.
– Calm investors earn better returns.

» Why Actively Managed Funds Matter
– Markets change constantly.
– Companies rise and fall.
– Active managers track these changes.
– They reduce exposure during stress.
– They increase quality holdings.
– This flexibility protects capital.

» Disadvantages of Index Funds
– Index funds blindly follow markets.
– No downside protection exists.
– Full fall happens during crashes.
– Recovery takes time.
– Near goals, this hurts badly.
– Active funds manage risk better.

» Importance of Asset Allocation
– Do not put everything in equity.
– Debt provides stability.
– Equity provides growth.
– Balance reduces volatility.
– Allocation should change with age.
– This improves long-term success.

» Equity Mutual Fund Categories Explained
– Large-focused funds invest in stable companies.
– Mid-focused funds aim higher growth.
– Smaller companies bring higher volatility.
– Flexi-style funds adjust across sizes.
– Balanced style funds mix debt and equity.
– Each serves a different purpose.

» When to Use Large-Focused Equity Funds
– Suitable for conservative investors.
– Suitable for beginners.
– Suitable near retirement.
– Volatility remains lower.
– Growth is steady.
– Confidence remains higher.

» When to Use Mid-Focused Equity Funds
– Suitable for longer horizons.
– Suitable for moderate risk takers.
– Returns can be higher.
– Falls can be sharp sometimes.
– Requires patience.
– SIP helps manage volatility.

» When to Use Smaller Company Focused Funds
– Only for long horizons.
– Only for high risk tolerance.
– Not suitable near goals.
– Volatility is very high.
– Returns fluctuate widely.
– Allocation should be limited.

» Role of Flexi-Style Equity Funds
– Managers move across market sizes.
– They respond to valuations.
– They reduce concentration risk.
– Suitable for uncertain markets.
– Good core holding.
– Useful across life stages.

» Balanced Style Funds Explained
– Mix of equity and debt exists.
– Volatility is lower.
– Returns are smoother.
– Suitable for conservative investors.
– Suitable near retirement.
– Provides income stability.

» Debt Mutual Fund Understanding
– Debt funds invest in fixed income instruments.
– Returns are more stable.
– Risk depends on credit quality.
– Short duration suits safety needs.
– Long duration suits interest rate cycles.
– Selection must be careful.

» Why Debt Funds Matter
– They reduce overall portfolio risk.
– They provide predictable returns.
– They help during market crashes.
– They support regular withdrawals.
– They improve sleep quality.
– They bring balance.

» Tax Aspect Awareness
– Equity gains have holding period rules.
– Long term equity gains have lower tax.
– Short term gains attract higher tax.
– Debt gains taxed as per slab.
– Holding period planning reduces tax.
– Withdrawal planning matters.

» SIP Versus Lump Sum
– SIP builds discipline.
– SIP reduces timing risk.
– Lump sum suits surplus money.
– Market timing is difficult.
– SIP suits salaried investors.
– Consistency matters more than timing.

» Why Regular Funds Are Better for Most
– Regular funds provide guidance.
– Behaviour management is included.
– Review support is available.
– Panic decisions are reduced.
– CFP guidance adds value.
– Cost difference is justified often.

» Disadvantages of Direct Funds
– No handholding during volatility.
– Wrong allocation mistakes occur.
– Investors panic during falls.
– Discipline breaks easily.
– Mistakes cost more than savings.
– Support matters more than cost.

» Portfolio Construction Principles
– Limit number of funds.
– Avoid duplication.
– Diversify across styles.
– Align funds with goals.
– Review annually only.
– Avoid frequent changes.

» How Many Funds Are Enough
– Too many funds confuse tracking.
– Four to six funds are enough.
– Each fund must have a role.
– Overlapping funds reduce efficiency.
– Simplicity improves discipline.
– Control improves results.

» Common Mistakes Investors Make
– Chasing recent performance.
– Following social media tips.
– Switching frequently.
– Investing without goals.
– Ignoring asset allocation.
– Stopping SIP during downturns.

» Behaviour Is More Important Than Funds
– Good behaviour beats good products.
– Staying invested matters most.
– Panic destroys compounding.
– Patience builds wealth.
– Discipline creates results.
– Confidence grows over time.

» Role of Review and Rebalancing
– Portfolio needs periodic review.
– Life changes need adjustments.
– Risk increases with market rise.
– Rebalancing restores balance.
– Annual review is enough.
– Over-monitoring creates stress.

» Age-Based Allocation Thought
– Younger investors can take higher equity.
– Middle age needs balanced approach.
– Near retirement needs stability.
– Allocation must reduce risk gradually.
– This protects capital.
– Longevity risk increases later.

» Emotional Side of Investing
– Fear and greed influence decisions.
– Market news creates panic.
– Discipline reduces emotional damage.
– Guidance provides reassurance.
– Staying calm is crucial.
– Long-term view wins.

» Importance of Emergency Fund
– Emergency fund protects investments.
– It avoids forced selling.
– Keep it separate from mutual funds.
– Liquidity matters here.
– Peace of mind improves discipline.
– This is foundation step.

» Goal-Based Investing Is Key
– Each goal needs its own strategy.
– Education goals differ from retirement.
– Short goals need safety.
– Long goals allow growth.
– Mixing goals causes confusion.
– Structure brings clarity.

» Final Insights
– Good mutual funds depend on your goals.
– Actively managed funds suit most investors.
– Asset allocation matters more than fund names.
– Discipline beats market timing.
– Guidance reduces costly mistakes.
– Start with clarity and patience.
– Stay consistent and review annually.
– This approach builds long-term wealth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
Money
My friend age is 39 salary is 70000 loan 100000 with 1200 EMI had 5.5 lakh pf and yearly lic policies of 45000 had own house worth 40 lakhs and one land worth 15 lakhs nearly son age is 4 how to invest for education
Ans: Your friend has taken a responsible step by thinking early.
Planning for a child’s education shows care and foresight.
Starting now gives strong advantage.
Time is the biggest strength here.
This deserves appreciation and encouragement.

» Family and Life Stage Assessment
– Your friend is 39 years old.
– Child is only 4 years old.
– Education goal is 14 to 18 years away.
– This gives long investment runway.
– Long horizon allows growth focus.
– Early planning reduces pressure later.

» Income and Stability Review
– Monthly salary is Rs.70,000.
– Income seems stable currently.
– EMI burden is very low.
– Loan amount is manageable.
– Cash flow pressure appears limited.
– This supports long-term investing.

» Existing Asset Overview
– Provident fund value is Rs.5.5 lakh.
– Own house provides residential security.
– Land holding adds balance sheet strength.
– Physical assets already exist.
– Education funding should stay financial.
– Avoid mixing goals with properties.

» Current Liability Position
– Loan amount is only Rs.1 lakh.
– EMI is Rs.1,200 monthly.
– Debt stress is minimal.
– No urgent prepayment pressure exists.
– Liquidity remains comfortable.
– This supports regular investments.

» Child Education Cost Reality
– Education costs rise faster than inflation.
– Higher education costs are unpredictable.
– Foreign education increases costs sharply.
– Professional courses cost much more.
– Planning should assume higher expenses.
– Conservative assumptions protect future.

» Time Horizon Advantage
– Child has 14 plus years.
– Long horizon favours equity exposure.
– Short-term volatility becomes irrelevant.
– Compounding works best over time.
– Discipline matters more than timing.
– Starting early reduces monthly burden.

» Goal Segregation Importance
– Education goal must stay separate.
– Retirement goals should not mix.
– House and land should remain untouched.
– Education money needs liquidity later.
– Clear buckets avoid confusion.
– This brings clarity and focus.

» Provident Fund Role Clarification
– PF is meant for retirement.
– Avoid using PF for education.
– PF offers safety, not flexibility.
– Withdrawal later affects retirement comfort.
– Let PF compound peacefully.
– Education should have its own plan.

» LIC Policy Assessment
– LIC policies are long-term commitments.
– Many LIC policies give low returns.
– Education goal needs higher growth.
– Insurance and investment should not mix.
– Review policy purpose carefully.
– Education planning needs efficiency.

» Action on LIC Policies
– If LIC is investment oriented, review seriously.
– Such policies often underperform inflation.
– Education goal needs stronger growth engine.
– Consider surrender after policy review.
– Redirect money into mutual funds.
– This improves goal probability.

» Risk Capacity Versus Risk Appetite
– Income stability supports equity exposure.
– Child’s age supports growth focus.
– Emotional comfort still matters.
– Portfolio should avoid extreme swings.
– Balance reduces regret during downturns.
– Discipline ensures long-term success.

» Asset Allocation Thought Process
– Education goal allows higher equity allocation.
– Small debt portion adds stability.
– Allocation should change near goal.
– Gradual de-risking protects corpus.
– No sudden changes later.
– Planning must be dynamic.

» Why Mutual Funds Fit Education Goals
– Mutual funds offer growth potential.
– They allow disciplined monthly investing.
– SIP suits salary earners well.
– Flexibility exists for top-ups.
– Liquidity is available when needed.
– Transparency improves understanding.

» Importance of Active Management
– Active funds manage downside risks.
– Fund managers respond to market changes.
– Education corpus cannot afford blind tracking.
– Index investing lacks downside control.
– Active approach suits long-term goals.
– Flexibility is critical here.

» Why Index Funds Are Not Ideal
– Index funds follow markets mechanically.
– They fall fully during market crashes.
– No protection during extreme volatility.
– Education timeline cannot wait always.
– Active funds adjust allocations actively.
– This reduces emotional stress.

» Monthly Investment Discipline
– SIP builds habit and discipline.
– Small amounts grow meaningfully over time.
– Step-up SIP improves future corpus.
– Salary growth supports step-up.
– Consistency matters more than amount.
– Missed months reduce compounding.

» Emergency Fund Before Education Investing
– Emergency fund should exist first.
– At least six months expenses recommended.
– This avoids breaking education investments.
– Emergencies are unpredictable.
– Financial shocks derail long-term plans.
– Stability supports discipline.

» Insurance Protection Check
– Adequate term insurance is critical.
– Child’s education depends on income.
– Insurance protects goal continuity.
– Medical insurance protects savings.
– Without protection, plans collapse.
– Risk management comes first.

» Tax Efficiency Perspective
– Education investing should consider tax.
– Mutual funds offer tax-efficient growth.
– Tax applies only on realised gains.
– Equity gains have specific rules.
– Planning improves post-tax outcomes.
– Tax should not drive decisions alone.

» Behavioural Aspects of Education Planning
– Market corrections will happen.
– Panic reactions harm long-term goals.
– Education planning needs patience.
– Annual review is enough.
– Avoid daily portfolio tracking.
– Trust the process.

» Role of Land and House
– House provides living security.
– Land is illiquid for education needs.
– Avoid selling assets for education.
– Forced sales reduce value.
– Education funds must be liquid.
– Separate assets reduce stress.

» Periodic Review and Rebalancing
– Review education plan yearly.
– Increase investments with income growth.
– Reduce risk near goal.
– Shift gradually to safer assets.
– Avoid last-minute surprises.
– Discipline ensures success.

» Child Education Milestones Planning
– School education costs come first.
– Graduation costs come later.
– Post-graduation may need larger funds.
– Plan for multiple stages.
– Avoid lump-sum burden later.
– Stagger planning reduces stress.

» Emotional Satisfaction Aspect
– Education planning gives confidence.
– Parents sleep better with clarity.
– Child benefits from better choices.
– Financial clarity improves family harmony.
– Less stress improves health.
– Planning improves overall life quality.

» Role of Certified Financial Planner
– Personalised planning improves outcomes.
– Risk comfort differs per family.
– Cash flow analysis matters.
– Goal prioritisation avoids conflicts.
– Periodic guidance improves discipline.
– Holistic approach protects all goals.

» Common Mistakes to Avoid
– Starting too late.
– Relying only on LIC policies.
– Using PF for education.
– Chasing high returns blindly.
– Ignoring inflation impact.
– Avoiding reviews.

» Long-Term Discipline Reminder
– Education planning is a marathon.
– Short-term noise should be ignored.
– Time corrects many mistakes.
– Discipline beats intelligence here.
– Patience builds strong corpus.
– Calmness protects decisions.

» Final Insights
– Your friend has strong starting position.
– Early planning gives big advantage.
– Child’s age supports growth focus.
– Mutual funds suit education goals well.
– LIC policies need careful review.
– Insurance protection is essential.
– Discipline and reviews ensure success.
– With proper structure, education goals are achievable.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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