My Love Life Changed After Our Second Child: Is This Normal?

Ans: Well if you feel like that, why don’t you make the first move instead of constantly waiting for him to? Give him a kiss on the lips, and see where it leads.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the struggles in your marriage. The stress of your husband's military career, long periods of separation, and raising a child during the pandemic have taken a toll on your relationship. Your husband's impatience and frustration might be his way of dealing with stress, which affects your intimacy and communication.

Try to approach conversations with empathy and express your feelings calmly, focusing on how you feel rather than what he's doing wrong. Small gestures of affection and quality time can help rebuild your connection. Couples therapy could also be beneficial, providing a safe space to work through issues together.

Take care of your own well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and maintaining support from friends and family. This self-care will give you the strength to address the challenges in your relationship.

Your feelings are valid, and seeking help shows your commitment to your marriage. With patience and professional support, there's hope for rekindling the intimacy and closeness you desire.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, firstly, you were okay with something that you were not okay to start with (him focusing on work mostly) and that has set a stage for your relationship that you are and will be okay with it and he will continue to be that way without addressing his role as a husband.
Now, what is the reason for the change in his behavior, you can just keep guessing by playing games in your mind. The only way to resolve this is: to actually learn how to communicate with each other as adults, as husband and wife. The two of you have never bothered with it, yeah? Then now bother yourself by learning this new skill. Talk, communicate, listen and then take on the role of a wife in the marriage. Do the things that you would have wanted to, small expectations, those little arguments...even these can be communication letting the man know that as a wife you care and you do want your man to fulfill little things for you.
He then will start to feel useful in the marriage which is a big thing for men and once he feels that is being valued, he will tear down his wall and show up as a man and as a husband and not just a father.
So, a lot of work from your end as well for him to reciprocate and then it's a constant momentum from thereon...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This isn't new to those couples who have just had a baby. Life changes a LOT once the baby arrives; everything starts to become about the baby. Your life revolves around the child and even routines start to sync with the baby.
The couple's primary role becomes one of mother and father and somewhere the role of wife and husband dulls away and before you know it can vanish causing small and big rifts within the marriage.
The key is to remember your roles as wife and husband and that in itself will keep the spark alive. Just because you have had the baby, does not mean you forget what it is to be with your husband/wife.

Firstly, try and see if you can get some help during the day so that household chores are taken care of and you have some time for yourself. Pamper yourself with whatever you want to; a cup of tea, reading a book, calling your friends over...if any female relative can actually baby-sit over the weekend for a few hours, then you and your husband can plan a small thing together. Now, it maybe difficult to choose the time as the baby is just 4 months old, but make do with whatever time that you have. Slowly, you will learn how to navigate things with the baby...it's a learning ground and nobody has prepared you for it BUT it gets better with time only because you get smarter at understanding how to utilize time better and make the most of it.
And whatever time that you spend, bring back the courtship days, your dating moments back and oh yes, choose your best dress/outfit...it makes a lot of difference to the mind and the way you see yourself. Be patient...it gets better...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There's almost and always a reason for any behavior change. Maybe you might want to understand what exactly made your husband lose interest in you. Did something happen for him to look the other way?
It's really hell living with a spouse who cold shoulders and stone walls you...My suggestion: Rather than blame yourself, have a discussion and not confrontation with him. Confrontations invariably lead you nowhere as you will be caught in an ego tussle. Discussion is where you try and understand what's on his mind and share how you feel.
Now, will he want that? Maybe not...but if this continues, you may want to give him an ultimatum. He must know that he isn't making a great point by ignoring you and that he must communicate the same with you instead.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/