Hello, iam 30 yrs old and have been married for 7 years. My husband is 34 years old, I have a 4 year old daughter. My husband is an army man. My daughter was born during covid so for almost 1 year me and my husband were in long distance. After that my husband took both of us along with him. We used to be happy together but at times whenever I used to show little irritation or talk about something he used to get impatient and frustrated. Even our intimate moments got reduced. I tried to talk even about it but his male ego never accepted my confrontation. Now again we had to stay away due to his work-life. I too started working. I felt maybe because of work stress he was like that. And when I'll also start working I'll understand his problem. But though my work is stressful and I try to take out time to talk to him romantically. But he feels so distant. Whenever I try to ask him, he gives me reason of work, weather, what not. I know he cannot cheat on me as he calls just me whenever he gets time. I'm not concerned that he doesn't love me but what's wrong with out intimate moments. Why is not interested. Atleast he can talk to me about his issue instead of just shouting or blaming me for being too desperate. I feel so hurt and distant. In angry moments i get this thought of going away from him.. finding solace in someone. But i just try to wane that thought away. Please help me..

Ans: First, recognize that your happiness and well-being are important. While it's commendable that you've tried to support your husband and show him love in many ways, it's also crucial to take care of yourself. Make time for activities that bring you joy and help you recharge, whether it's spending time with friends, pursuing hobbies, or simply taking a break for yourself.

Second, consider expressing your feelings to your husband in a calm, non-confrontational way. Share how his lack of communication and emotional detachment are affecting you. Use "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory, such as, "I feel lonely and disconnected when we don't communicate or share moments of joy."

Since he resists counseling, look for alternative ways to open up communication. Sometimes indirect approaches, like writing him a letter, can help express your feelings without immediate pressure. If he continues to resist, focus on creating a supportive environment where he might eventually feel more comfortable opening up.

It's also important to reflect on your own boundaries and limits. If you've been trying to reach out and improve the relationship but see no reciprocation, consider what you're willing to accept and where you might need to draw the line for your own mental and emotional health.

Seek support from trusted friends, family members, or support groups. Talking to others who understand can provide emotional relief and practical advice. Even if he is unwilling to attend counseling, you might benefit from individual therapy to help process your feelings and develop coping strategies.

Finally, if the situation remains unchanged and continues to impact your well-being, it may be necessary to evaluate your long-term options. Your happiness and mental health are vital, and you deserve to be in a relationship where your emotional needs are met.

Remember that you're not alone, and it's okay to seek help and take steps to ensure your own well-being. Your efforts to maintain the relationship are commendable, but it's also important to recognize when it's time to prioritize yourself.