Hello Dear Anu Ma'am,
I wish to remain anonymous as my family reads this page too.
I'm 25 years old and work for a multinational IT giant. I don't earn much but I'm happy with my job. I'm a workaholic and I don't mind working for even 16-17 hours a day (just to keep myself sane).
My parents are highly educated, have good jobs, are caring and do EVERYTHING for me physically. But there is no such thing as love or emotion in my house. I have never known the meaning of happiness and love.
Everything looks normal on the outside, but inside my dad does not treat my mom well, he always makes fun of her and disrespects her. He is cold and distant from me as well. I don't even remember the last time things were alright at home. Sometimes he even abuses my mom physically and because of this, she left her reputable job and now stays at home. My brother and I have stopped talking to my dad fully.
I have been in a relationship with multiple men (including a married man) but was never actually interested in them. They all got frustrated with my behaviour after a few months and the relationships ended.
I never understood why I keep on getting into relationships when I never like them. I never understood why I can't say no to someone.
I am a people pleaser. I cannot stand up for myself and I have zero self-confidence. All my so-called ex-boyfriends manipulated me for sex and I kept thinking it was love. I lose interest the moment they talk about sex.
I always used to wonder why I am not like other girls - they are confident, they can say no to a guy they don't like, they make the right decisions, they have female friends but I don't have any. I used to think why only I am weird.
My mom also likes my brother more and does not treat me that nicely. Although she is nice to me most of the time, she keeps on mocking and belittling me like good girls are like plants and nature.. I have never seen you in our garden. This shows what kind of a girl you are, you're useless, you're good for nothing. I feel like slapping you all the time, your face is like that, anyone would want to slap you and many more such things.
It confuses me. I still don't understand if my parents love me or not. My brother is on my mom's side. He never treats me well or respects me. My mind is always in a state of confusion and fear.
I keep getting into embarrassing situations because of my low self-confidence and inability to say NO.
I recently realised I am like this because of my father, after reading an article on absent father and how it affects daughters - from there I got to know that when a father doesn't love his daughter, she becomes promiscuous and has very low self-confidence. I cried for hours after reading it. I was shocked and even more traumatized because I thought parents were supposed to love their children. But it gave me some relief that all this is not my fault.
Now, I have stopped blaming my parents for the way I am (even if they are the cause) and I've decided to improve my life by distancing myself from them.
I have made up my mind and I can see some changes in myself. But I still can't say no very loudly and clearly. I say it in a low voice and hesitantly, so people take advantage of me. I strongly believe that I will learn to say no. I am determined.
That said, the main problem now is - there is immense grief, guilt and shame in my mind which I'm not able to get out. I feel terrible about myself all the time, like I'm a cheap, characterless woman. I know that is not actually my personality but I still have such thoughts. I even tried therapy but it has not helped much.
Can you please help me ma'am?

Ans: Hello Ayush
In your case, although you attempted the practical exam in 2024, you did not complete the theory exams, and consequently, no result was declared for you in 2024. As per the JEE Advanced guidelines, an "appearance" in Class XII is considered only if the board declares a result for that year, irrespective of whether or not the examination was conducted.

Since you completed your Class 12 through NIOS in 2025, with the board declaring your result in 2025, your first valid appearance is considered to be in 2025.

Ans: Hello
Your jaw pain and headache may very likely be due to your teeth grinding or jaw clenching when stressed or in your sleep. This is also usually accompanied by excessive wear of your teeth enamel. Your dentist will be able to pinpoint the cause. Of course, carious or infected teeth and gums need to be first ruled out.
Ask your dentist to give you a "night guard" which acts as a soft cushion between your upper and lower teeth and provides some relief.
But first you need to work on reducing your stress levels holistically and if necessary with your physician's help

Ans: You're doing well so far. You have started important savings and protection steps. You are rightly thinking about your children and retirement. Let’s now look at your full financial picture step by step. This is to guide you in building a solid future for your family.

Current Financial Overview – Evaluation
Your monthly income is Rs.1 lakh. This gives you decent capacity to plan.

You are 42 now. That gives you around 15 to 18 years for retirement.

You have Rs.11 lakhs in NPS. This is a good start.

PPF of Rs.8 lakhs is useful for long-term needs. Well done.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana of Rs.2 lakhs is good for daughters. Keep it up.

You have term insurance. This is a very important safety net.

You have company medical insurance. But you must take personal health cover too.

Rs.72,000 in mutual funds is a good beginning. You should continue.

You have a LIC policy. This is a mix product. We need to check its usefulness.

Children’s Future – Education and Marriage Planning
Your kids are 7 and 4 years old. Their higher education starts in 10-14 years.

For education and marriage, equity mutual funds are best suited.

They can give better growth than PPF, Sukanya, or fixed options.

Continue Sukanya Samriddhi. It is safe and tax-free.

But add mutual funds as major part for education goals.

Use regular plans through MFDs with CFP support. This gives proper guidance.

Avoid direct plans. They miss out expert monitoring and adjustment support.

Direct plans seem cheaper. But lack handholding and ongoing advice.

Choose child-focused mutual fund portfolios with 10+ years view.

Invest monthly through SIPs. This builds wealth slowly and safely.

Target two separate funds: one for elder, one for younger child.

Review goals every year with your CFP and adjust SIPs.

Your Retirement – Pension Planning Steps
NPS of Rs.11 lakhs is a decent beginning. You should continue it.

But don’t depend only on NPS for full retirement.

Add mutual funds as second pillar for retirement.

Invest in balanced and multi-cap equity mutual funds via regular plans.

Regular plans through CFP and MFDs will give review and corrections.

Avoid direct funds. You may miss right fund changes and rebalancing.

Equity funds can help you beat inflation over next 15-20 years.

Don’t invest in annuity plans. They give low income and low flexibility.

Increase your SIP amount every year by 10%-15%.

Consider retirement planning as your most important goal.

Estimate a comfortable monthly need after retirement.

Plan now to reach that amount by 60.

Maintain separate SIPs for children’s education and for your retirement.

Life Insurance – Policy Review and Action
You already have a term insurance. This is perfect. Continue it.

If your term insurance is below Rs.1 crore, increase it now.

Avoid traditional LIC endowment or ULIP policies.

These mix insurance with investment. Gives poor return.

If your LIC is traditional or ULIP, plan to surrender it.

Take surrender value. Invest that amount in mutual funds.

Pure term plans protect your family better than endowment plans.

No need to mix insurance and savings.

Health Insurance – Important Next Step
Company insurance is not enough. Buy personal family health insurance.

After leaving job, company cover may stop. Risk is high without personal cover.

Take a Rs.10 lakh floater plan now for your family.

Add super top-up of Rs.15-20 lakhs later. Premium is low.

This gives peace of mind against big medical bills.

If you delay this, you may get exclusions or waiting period.

Emergency Fund – Safety Cushion Plan
Keep at least 6 months of expenses in savings or liquid mutual fund.

This is your safety net during job loss or medical need.

Use sweep-in FD or liquid funds for better returns.

Don’t touch emergency fund for any investment.

Keep it ready and separate from regular savings.

Mutual Funds – Growth Engine for Long Term Goals
You have Rs.72,000 in mutual funds now. Good first step.

Continue investing monthly through SIPs. Choose regular plans.

Use the help of MFDs and CFPs for fund selection and review.

Avoid index funds. They don’t beat market. No fund manager support.

Actively managed funds perform better with expert fund management.

Also avoid direct funds. You need handholding and goal tracking.

Regular funds cost little more. But give huge benefit of expert advice.

Equity mutual funds should be used for all long-term goals.

For short-term needs, use short duration or hybrid funds.

Review your portfolio yearly. Adjust based on life changes.

PPF, Sukanya and NPS – How to Use Them Properly
PPF is safe and tax-free. Continue till maturity.

Use it as part of your retirement strategy.

Sukanya is good for your daughters. Continue till they reach 21 years.

NPS is useful for building retirement money. Continue your contributions.

But NPS has lock-in. So don’t make it your only retirement tool.

Mix it with equity mutual funds to create balance.

Review asset allocation with a certified planner every year.

Tax Planning – Smart Use of Instruments
Use Section 80C fully with PPF, Sukanya, Term Insurance, ELSS.

ELSS mutual funds give tax benefit and growth potential.

Don’t put too much in low-yield tax-saving policies.

Use HRA and NPS also for tax savings if available.

Equity mutual funds: LTCG above Rs.1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

STCG is taxed at 20%. So, hold equity funds for more than 1 year.

Debt mutual fund gains are taxed as per income slab. Plan accordingly.

Action Plan – What You Can Do Next
List your goals: retirement, kids’ education, their marriage.

Estimate time left for each goal.

Assign investments to each goal. PPF, NPS, Sukanya for retirement and kids.

Start or increase SIPs in regular equity mutual funds.

Take personal health insurance without delay.

Check and surrender LIC if it is traditional or ULIP.

Build an emergency fund equal to 6 months of salary.

Increase your term insurance if less than Rs.1 crore.

Review all investments yearly with a certified financial planner.

Finally – Insights to Keep in Mind
You are doing many right things. Just needs better alignment.

Don’t feel regret about delay. You are now taking steps forward.

Invest in mutual funds regularly with expert guidance.

Avoid direct and index funds. Go with regular plans via CFPs.

Plan each goal separately. Don’t mix children and retirement funds.

Protect your family with term insurance and health cover.

Stay consistent with SIPs. Wealth builds over time.

Review once a year. Track goals and adjust your plan.

Always take advice from certified financial planners.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ans: You may get seat at NIT Agartala or NIT Meghalaya

Ans: You have shown excellent discipline. At age 31, you already have Rs.45 lacs in equity mutual funds. That’s a rare position to be in.

You lead a minimalist life. You are healthy. You don’t have dependents. You are earning well. You are living with purpose and clarity.

Still, retirement planning is not only about a lump sum today. It also needs a 360-degree analysis.

Let us now evaluate in detail if this Rs.45 lacs is enough for your retirement.

We will assess from lifestyle, inflation, investment risk, tax rules, personal values, and health perspective.

We will also answer your main question: Can you spend 99% of your earnings now?

Retirement Planning Is Not Only About Current Corpus
Rs.45 lacs looks large now. But you are 31. Retirement is 29 years away.

A rupee today won’t have the same value 30 years later.

With inflation, prices can rise 5x or even more by then.

Your current Rs.45 lacs may not buy much in 2054.

So it is not enough to just grow. It must grow faster than inflation.

What If You Don’t Add Any More Investment?
If you don’t invest any more for retirement now, your Rs.45 lacs must grow for 30 years.

Let us assess few key points:

If the investment is fully in equity, volatility is high.

Long-term returns can be rewarding, but not always predictable.

Also, equity mutual funds attract capital gains tax.

New rule: LTCG above Rs.1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

This will reduce the final retirement corpus.

So you cannot assume all returns will be tax-free.

Impact of Inflation on Lifestyle
You are minimalist today. But that may not be the case at 60.

Even basic costs like food, rent, medicine, utilities will go up.

At 6% inflation, Rs.25,000 monthly expenses today may become Rs.1.5 lacs after 30 years.

Medical inflation is higher. You may need Rs.5 lacs per year for healthcare alone at retirement.

So the same Rs.45 lacs will lose value every year.

What If You Live Longer?
Longevity is increasing in India. You may live till 90 or 95.

That means 30 years working and 30+ years retired.

So retirement may last longer than your working life.

Your money has to work for you after 60.

Even a Rs.3 crore corpus at retirement may fall short if not planned properly.

Health Cover and Life Cover Are Good
Rs.1.5 crore term insurance is good.

Rs.40 lacs health cover is excellent. Keep renewing it.

But insurance is not a substitute for retirement planning.

Also, insurance does not build wealth.

You Have Time on Your Side
You are 31. That gives you 30 years to grow your corpus.

That is your biggest strength.

Small, consistent investing now can multiply your corpus over 30 years.

Even Rs.10,000 per month extra can change your future.

Can You Spend 99% of Earnings?
It is not wise to spend 99% of earnings even with Rs.45 lacs corpus.

It makes your life dependent on just one investment.

Also, it leaves no buffer for job loss, health crisis, or early retirement.

Spending most of your income will reduce your financial freedom later.

Risks of Not Saving Enough
Future jobs may not pay this well.

You may face burnout or wish to retire early.

Markets may not perform as expected.

Emergencies may force early withdrawal.

Expenses can rise unexpectedly.

What Should Be the Ideal Retirement Corpus?
There is no fixed number. It depends on your lifestyle.

Still, we can estimate based on some broad assumptions:

A basic retirement needs at least Rs.4 to 5 crores at age 60.

A comfortable life with travel, hobbies, and good healthcare needs Rs.6 to 8 crores.

A rich life with freedom and legacy needs Rs.10 crores or more.

You may not need all of it. But you must aim higher and stay flexible.

How Much More Corpus You Need?
You already have Rs.45 lacs.

Assuming 10% annual return, and no withdrawal for 30 years:

Your current Rs.45 lacs can become Rs.8 crores in 30 years.

But tax and inflation will reduce its value.

After adjusting, this may be worth only Rs.3 to 4 crores in real terms.

So yes, you are on the right path. But you are not done yet.

Should You Stop Saving Now?
No. Stopping now is not safe.

You should continue to invest at least 20% to 30% of income.

You don’t need to be aggressive.

But you must not stop completely.

Advantages of Continuing SIPs in Actively Managed Mutual Funds
Actively managed funds are more responsive to market changes.

They are driven by research and fund manager insights.

They can beat inflation better than passive options.

They help create real wealth over time.

You can invest through mutual fund distributor with CFP. That gives expert help.

Disadvantages of Direct Mutual Fund Investing
Direct funds seem cheaper. But they miss the human touch.

No professional reviews. No behavioural guidance.

You may exit in panic or enter at wrong time.

Mistakes in direct investing are costly.

Regular funds via a Certified Financial Planner offer support, reviews, and strategy.

Financial Planning Is Not Just About Corpus
Financial planning is lifelong.

You need a written retirement plan.

Include health, taxes, estate, and liquidity in that plan.

Set goals every 5 years and review progress.

Don’t think of corpus only. Think of financial independence.

Your Current Strengths
Strong investment of Rs.45 lacs

No dependents or liabilities

High income and low expenses

Health insurance and term cover

Discipline and minimalism

What You Can Do Now
Continue SIPs in actively managed funds via expert help

Review portfolio yearly with a Certified Financial Planner

Create a written retirement plan

Don’t touch your Rs.45 lacs till 60

Save 30% of income. Enjoy 70%.

Finally
You are doing well. You already have Rs.45 lacs at age 31. That shows foresight.

But retirement is not a fixed-point goal. It is a moving target with inflation and uncertainty.

You must not stop saving. Keep adding regularly. Small steps now can lead to a rich future.

Aim to build a Rs.6 to 8 crore corpus. That gives you safety, comfort, and peace.

Spending 99% now is risky. Don’t do that. Instead, reward yourself within limits. But keep investing for freedom.

Discipline today gives freedom tomorrow.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ans: Hello
You need 2 yrs of continuous experience in financial management or management accounting and must be a member of Institute of Management Accountants (IMA).

Ans: Hello
Age limit is 16 to 19 and education 10+2.

Ans: You have taken rightful steps. Court verdict is in your favour. That shows your legal ground is strong.

But still, the other party is asking for money. That too, an unfair amount. You also mentioned a lawyer suggested getting a ratification deed. Let us try to understand the full situation and assess all possible options. We will also cover what documents are needed to prove your ownership.

This reply gives you a 360-degree view. It will help you make a sound and confident decision.

Understanding Your Current Legal Standing
You said the land was sold without your knowledge. That makes the original sale illegal. The court has agreed with you. That is a key win for you.

You now have patta and registration in your name. These are strong documents. They show you have legal title.

Based on this, you are now the legal owner. That means you have the full right to sell the land. But the buyer must also be confident. So legal clarity is very important.

What Is a Ratification Deed?
A ratification deed is a It confirms a past act done without proper authority. The current party gives approval to that act.

In your case, it seems the buyer who bought the land earlier is being asked to “ratify” that sale. That is, to agree that you are the rightful owner now.

This is not a mandatory document by law. But it is sometimes used to make the title stronger. Some buyers or their banks ask for it.

However, since the court has already ruled in your favour, you may not legally need it. You already have the stronger claim.

Why Is the Buyer Still Causing Issues?
The person who bought the land earlier might feel he lost money. He may think the sale to him was legal. But since the court disagreed, he now holds no right.

His demand for money is unjust. It is a pressure tactic. He is trying to recover his loss by troubling you.

You are not legally required to pay him. He has no power to stop your sale.

Assessing Options Now
You can now evaluate your next steps from three angles – legal, practical, and financial.

Legal Options
Talk to your lawyer again. Ask: is a ratification deed mandatory in your case?

Get a written legal opinion. This should clearly mention your rights and position.

File a complaint if the other party is threatening you or asking money.

Send a legal notice through your lawyer to that person. Mention that he has no right now.

Practical Options
Try selling to a buyer who trusts the court order. Show them all documents.

Explain clearly that title is clean. Show the judgment, patta, and registration.

Use a reputed real estate lawyer for the sale. That gives buyers more confidence.

Financial Assessment
Do not agree to pay huge amounts. It may cause loss for you.

If needed, consider a small settlement. But only after full legal review. And only if it makes the sale smooth and quick.

Ask yourself: Even if I settle, will the person agree to give in writing? If not, don’t pay.

Must-Have Documents to Sell the Land
As a rightful owner, you must hold the following papers:

Patta in your name (this is land ownership proof)

Registered sale deed or title deed (issued after the court judgment)

Copy of the court verdict

Encumbrance Certificate (EC) (shows your name as the current legal holder)

Legal heir certificate, if you inherited the land

Property tax receipts in your name

Aadhar and PAN card copies

Suggested Steps to Make Sale Smooth
Get a detailed Title Certificate from a lawyer. It should mention the court case and outcome.

Keep a summary note ready. It should explain how you became owner.

Ensure name match across all your documents.

Keep a certified copy of court order with you at all times.

Use a reputed property consultant or broker only if needed. Prefer buyers who are local and familiar with such cases.

Emotional and Mental Pressure
You also mentioned you are facing many other issues. That is understandable. Land disputes take a heavy toll on health and peace of mind.

Please do not worry. You already have legal strength.

You have cleared a big milestone by getting the court’s support.

Don’t allow fear or threats to stop you.

Stay strong. Keep family informed. Talk regularly with your lawyer.

How Certified Financial Planner Can Help
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can guide you better with your sale proceeds.

If you plan to sell, prepare a written cash flow plan.

Think about your family’s short-term and long-term needs.

Keep emergency funds aside. Don’t invest all money at once.

Mutual funds managed by professional advisors can be considered. They offer long-term wealth building.

What Not To Do
Do not deal in cash. Always use cheque or bank transfer.

Do not sign any paper without lawyer check.

Do not get emotionally disturbed by their false threats.

Do not delay your next steps due to confusion or fear.

Finally
You have shown good courage. You followed the legal process. You now own the land as per law.

The other party is only trying to misuse your fear. Do not fall for it.

If the buyer still refuses to cooperate, avoid them. Choose another buyer.

If a ratification deed is insisted by your new buyer, ask your lawyer: Is it really needed?

If not needed, move ahead without it.

If needed, try again to convince the other person. If they demand unreasonable money, don’t agree.

Let your lawyer send notice. You can also explore police help if needed.

Always work with proper documents. Keep everything in writing.

Keep calm and move forward. With legal support and proper documents, you will win.

If you need help with managing the money after sale, we can help with a long-term financial plan.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ans: Unfortunately, without appearing for any entrance exam like GATE, you are not eligible for free or low-cost M.Tech in CSE at government or top-tier institutes in India.