Hi Anu, I recently came across your self-help series on rediff com and couldn't resist myself from writing to you.
I am a 25 year old woman living with her parents and a younger brother.
I somehow managed the lockdown in 2020 but since last year, my life has been way more challenging.
Things have been really tough since April last year. My mother started her dialysis. Before that, she got hospitalised twice within a month. However she is back home. But due to her dialysis session, her legs ache making her difficult to walk. Her hands have stopped moving due to hypertension so I am taking care of her.
My father retired last year. So he's stressed about many things. He is over inspecting my every little action and criticising me for no apparent reason.
I haven't got a suitable job despite working in an educational consultancy (They haven't even given my first salary). My boyfriend is encouraging me to work hard for my upcoming competitive exam and earn everything I want. But I don't feel like doing anything. I feel like I have lost the zeal. And nowadays he has hardly any time for me.
My ex-boyfriend hasn't returned Rs 20,000 he borrowed from me. When I confronted him, he avoided me and told me to back off. Sometimes I feel like taking a loan.
Lastly, I have incomplete submissions of diploma course which I couldn't submit on time and I am requesting for extra time but I didn't get any help.
Though I feel that things will get better but most of the time, I feel like quitting.
Today my father scolded me again, so I went to terrace. I screamed and cried and decided to end my life.
I have become so alone. I am wondering when my life will be on track.
I am not a bad person. I know I have flaws. But why has life become so tough?
I am only getting rejections and failures. I don't know what to do. How do I tackle with all of these? Please help me. I am totally exhausted.

Ans: You are going through a tough time. First, take a deep breath. Mistakes happen, and financial losses can be recovered. Your situation can be improved step by step. Below is a detailed plan to help you get back on track.

Understanding Your Financial Situation
You earn Rs 33,000 per month.

You have a total debt of Rs 4.4 lakh.

Your current EMI is Rs 19,068 per month.

Your father earns Rs 18,000 per month.

You lost money in options trading and high-interest loans.

You have ulcerative colitis, which requires medical attention.

Immediate Actions to Stop Further Damage
Completely stop all trading activities. Options trading is highly risky. You have already lost a large amount. Avoid any form of trading or gambling.

Do not take any more loans. Your current debt burden is already high. Additional loans will worsen your situation.

Reduce unnecessary expenses. Your priority is survival and debt repayment. Cut down on luxury, entertainment, and eating out.

Inform the bank about your situation. If you struggle with EMI payments, request a lower EMI or restructuring. Some banks offer relief options.

Avoid using credit cards. Credit card debt carries high interest. If you have outstanding dues, pay only the minimum amount for now.

Debt Management Strategy
List all loans with interest rates and tenures. Prioritize clearing high-interest loans first.

Consider a personal loan balance transfer. If you find a lower-interest option, transferring your loan can reduce your EMI burden.

Increase EMI payment when possible. Paying more than the minimum EMI will reduce your overall interest burden.

Try negotiating with lenders. Some banks may offer lower interest rates or waive penalties for good borrowers.

Building a Stable Financial Foundation
Create a monthly budget. Allocate funds for rent, food, medical expenses, EMI, and savings. Stick to it strictly.

Start a small emergency fund. Save at least Rs 5,000 per month in a separate account. Do not touch this money.

Look for additional income sources. Try freelance work, part-time jobs, or skill-based gigs to increase earnings.

Seek medical financial assistance. Check if your employer provides health insurance. If not, explore government or private schemes.

Emotional and Mental Health Support
Talk to a trusted friend or family member. Keeping everything inside can cause stress. Seek support from someone you trust.

Consult a financial counselor. A professional can help you restructure your debts and plan better.

Practice stress management techniques. Exercise, meditation, and proper sleep will help you stay mentally strong.

Long-Term Financial Recovery Plan
Avoid any high-risk investments. Focus on stable investments once you are financially stable.

Enhance your skills for better career growth. Upskilling can increase your income over time.

Build a long-term savings habit. Even Rs 1,000 per month in a safe investment will help you grow wealth.

Final Insights
Your financial problems are serious but not impossible to solve.

Your priority is debt repayment and stability, not investment or quick money-making methods.

Take control, follow a strict financial plan, and be patient. Improvement will take time, but you can recover.

Seek professional financial and medical advice where needed.

You are young, and you have time to rebuild. Stay strong and focused.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment