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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 01, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
JV Question by JV on Nov 01, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu I am 30 years old. I have done LLB and was not interested to practice in court so I tried to get a private job but I didn't get any.
Then I decided to start preparing for a government job but I missed it. I started to doubt myself.
I even had suicidal thoughts this was started when I was very little something happened to me when I was 16 since then I tried to kill myself and also tried to get involved with one of my friends in college. He liked me so much so we started having relationship.
When intimacy started I became nervous and afraid. It is like itching.
I want to run and hide in a safe place. He was very firm and honest and humble but didn't work out.
After that so many proposals came. I declined. Now my family wants me to marry.
I don't know if the husband would understand and give me some time to get involved with him. I don’t know what life after marriage would be.

I am a girl with absolutely no achievement and am not proud of anything in my life.
My parents are disappointed in me but they never show. What should I do? Pls do not disclose this

Ans:

Dear JV,

It’s possibly the incident that happened to you (which I understand that you haven’t shared here) is preventing you from having a fulfilling life.

I can only say that the incident happened in the past, but you are living it even now.

You were a victim in that incident, but to continue to play the victim even now is to give your power away.

How can you be happy by giving your inner power away every day and every moment?

Reclaim your life.

What’s happened can be blurred by moving away from that incident and reminding yourself that you are far away from the past and in the NOW.

  • Be grateful to what you have in the present
  • Make a list of your strengths
  • Write down your goal clearly by stating by when you want to achieve it

Remember bringing your past into the current time robs you of any goodness; professionally or personally.

So, to see something change, change the way you feel about your past.

Step out of the victim mode and become a person who has the power to change things at will.

I am sure you want to see how this pans out for you.

So, what are you waiting for? Step up and bring that newness of thought into your life.
All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 01, 2021

Relationship
I am 27 years old and I have been married for 3 months now. Married life is already suffocating me may be because I never wanted to get married in the first place. I knew my parents were not gonna let me be and will definitely get me married so I wanted to marry a guy of my choice at least (even if it is arranged marriage). Anyways I tried all that I can to avoid this marriage because I didn't like the way this guy talked about certain things and we had no similarities. Except for the fact that my parents knew their family and he was educated there was nothing I liked about him. I thought it was the right thing if my parent said that I wasn't interested in this proposal so I tried to make my parents understand. I tried to discuss, argued, cried, stopped eating, did everything I could to stop but they wouldn't budge. Turns out he had already given his word. My dad threatened me that he would take his own life if this marriage doesn't happen. My entire life, every single decision was taken by my dad. From college, BTech, basically everything. Since there was at least one thing that I gained out of his decision I didn't bother much. I gained a friend for life in my 12th standard and in BTech, I was able to meet lots of people and that to a certain extent changed my thought process. Other than that since I was 15 I never got to do anything I ever wanted to do. Well my dad's threat worked. I got married thinking maybe ... just may be there might be something that I might gain. My parents are in Hyderabad and my husband works in Bangalore. In the 3 months I lived with him, the first month it was just us and now my in laws stays with us. Every second made me anxious. I keep thinking..what if they say something if I use my phone or if I sit down or spend some time at the balcony. Apart from me being stressed, anxious and hating the situation I was in and losing lots and lots of hair, everything was fine. My husband was always working. He works everyday till 10 pm and after my in laws came he spends all the time with his mom. Well that didn't bother me, i just thought that he just loved his mom so much. Nobody said anything until the day I mentioned wanting to come home as I had some work at my previous office. Out of nowhere my mother-in-law mentions how I was not their 1st choice for their son. They had lots of proposals lined up but chose me because I am from Hyderabad even though I was fat and our family wasn't rich. I didn't think it was right to say anything to her so I didn't say a word. On the day I was travelling to Hyderabad, my husband complains how I don't do the household work as much or help my mother in law. he says I sleep a lot. He wants me to quit my job and sit at home. They have problem if I order clothes to where at home. I work night shift so I tend to sleep during the day but I make sure to help my mom in law to a certain extent. When it was just us in the 1st month it was me who did all the chores and I had to do WFH too. I made it very clear to him that I will not leave my job which he didn't like and he asks me not to return and just stay at my parent's place. I explained all this to my parents and they are trying to send me back as soon as possible. Everybody who got involved in this like my parents, the uncle who brought the proposal says that it is my responsibility to change my husband. I don't see how I can change a person who thinks that everything he does is right and it is wife's responsibility to initiate a conversation even if husband doesn't and he has his entire family backing him on this. I cant seem to change my mind or my parent's mind. I can't seem to make myself like my husband. At this rate I don't know if there is any future with him at all. I mean people who wants a maid and not a wife and who thinks this way and insults others.... I am not sure if they are gonna change. My parents want to force me into this just for the fear that I might be left alone in life and more importantly for the reputation of the family but they don't think that in this marriage I will for ever be anxious and unhappy. Please help and extremely sorry for the long letter.
Ans: Dear A, Isn't it time that you took charge of your life?

If what you mentioned happened exactly that way, take charge of your life now.

It doesn't make any sense changing anyone; they will change only when they want to and wish to. But it's also worth it to figure out if you are blaming your marriage for your misery.

Do become aware if you are basing your unhappiness on things that should have happened and then blaming your marriage to aggravate that situation. This isn’t healthy.

Sometimes in life, we don't get what we have planned but with a better mind, it is possible to set things right.

Is it possible that your unhappy state of mind might also have caused a lot of unrest within the marriage?

Also, I will agree that it is quite hurtful when you hear from your in-laws that you weren't the first choice for their son.

So, you are in a place where you have to figure out: Which hurts you more... the fact that you didn't want to get married in the first place and was forced into it or the fact that your in-laws aren't happy with you.

Two different sides of the coin; which side is your situation in?

Think and reflect deeply because only you know how to get to a space that keeps you happy and sane.

If walking out of the marriage is what you feel, then do that keeping in mind how life is going to be financially and emotionally.

If you decide to work on the marriage, then have a clear communication involving your parents and in-laws and husband as well and work through the fact that your in laws maybe with you forever and this is a fact that needs to be accepted for your peace of mind.

Being anxious will not help. Do get help from a marriage counsellor to strengthen your relationship.

Whatever that decision maybe, stick by it and do it only because you want it and not because you think someone caused it.

We are all a product of our choices and every choice must only lead to a better state of mind and thereby a better life.

Be happy always!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Madam am working women of age 28 working for past 5 years , I am in living relationship with my boyfriend who is 38 now. I want to do marriage and settle now but my partner doesn't feel necessary to do marriage and if I force he is telling he will do court marriage which am not interested to do. He is not ready to meet or convince my parents for marriage . I have given him money for buying a property which I was least interested. He started controlling all my finances which I felt incorrect so I questioned him which made his ego hurt and he has hit me twice. My parents are now telling me to get married but I don't know what to do. Sometimes when he ia not around I tried talking to other guys in dating app which afterwards am feeling guilty for cheating him. Nowadays I lost interest in everything I don't have courage to end my life so not able to concentrate on my work. Please tell me what I need to do to correct my path as it's getting hell day by day.
Ans: Right now, it might be helpful to take a step back from the relationship to regain your sense of self and control over your life. Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or even a counselor could help you find clarity, and having a support system can make it easier to make decisions that protect your well-being.

It’s understandable that you feel torn, especially since you’ve invested years and finances into this relationship. But it’s important to remember that you deserve a relationship where you feel valued, safe, and equal. The feelings of guilt about talking to others on dating apps are natural, but they’re also a sign that you might be searching for connection and respect that you’re not receiving in your current relationship.

Consider reclaiming control over your finances immediately. Seek guidance on how to separate your financial dealings from him, as it’s essential for you to be able to support and manage yourself independently. Ending this relationship might be difficult, but it could also give you the freedom to rebuild your confidence, focus on your goals, and find the stability and respect you deserve.

It’s clear that you’re strong enough to make changes; the courage you’ve shown in questioning his control and sharing your story here is proof. With the support of loved ones and professionals, you can find a way out of this painful situation and start building a life that brings you peace and happiness.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 07, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I had a very bad past where I was in physical relationship with like 10 guys that was due to the earlier relationship I had where I was being used financially and physically that hurt and me and I got really f***** up in my mind so I started dating guys just for physical relationship then the last guy I was in relationship with I got pregnant with a baby and I aborted it because I did not want to have a future with him and also I did not have confidence to grow that baby. then 4 months later I met my husband I fell in love with him at the first meet and we had physical thing at the very first meet. during the second meet he read the group chat between me and my friends where we spoke bad words ,my husband was not okay with that and he was really feeling bad about it and he started to talk about our break up.I was waiting for my final yr results when I met him soon I got my result then I have to start my internship my husband paid 5 lacs rupees for me but he was anxious that I will be with the friends who I was talking bad words with in college and he wanted to have a breakup and he fighted everyday with that reason .I promised him that I will not be that person anymore and I won't talk to my friends. one day I helped my friend with work for which my husband got angry and he wanted to have a break up and he started to talk about the last guy which I said that he was a friend before and I don't talk to him anymore then he raised question about him and then I told him that I was having a Friends with benefit relationship with him, then things got bitter and he seriously wants break up this time,.everyday he talks to me about that and fights with me I stop going to college .one day I made a suicide attempt and then 2 days after he started talking to me normally. soon again he started asking all those questions about the last guy I have been with, he asked very minute questions about the day and dates and he fighted with me everyday for that. there is a friend of mine who knows everything about my past ,in all these chaos,things got bitter between me and her and we stop talking. one day my husband talked to her and he asked everything about me and he got to know all about my past and he said that he took all the history of my chats ,apps and photos and asked me questions repeatedly and I told him everything completely without hiding anything. then things got messed up. I was really distressed, then my family got involved and things got very bitter, he told everything about my past to my mother. one day, they made me stop talking to him. he sent message to my sister in law and brother about my past, then my mother went to my husband's sister and told her that my husband is making a big mess not allowing me to go to internship and he has all our intimate pictures then things got Messed up more and he stopped talking to me. he was just asking me the 5 lakhs rupees he paid for me and then we stopped talking for about a week, I turned completely insane during that period and I sent him txt that I am not able to live without him .then we started talking, few days after he was okay with me going to the college then again he started fighting he was not ok with me to go to college. then we decided to get register married which a day later he denied.then I ran away from my house to him ,he received me and I was with him for 3 months we lived together for 3 months during which period he spoke really bad of me because of my past which I endured because I was really feeling guilty of my past and I thought I deserved it. he was asking even all those small personal things and he hurted me so much with his words which was mere verbal abuse ,meanwhile I got pregnant then he introduced me to his family and then we got married registered in front of our family. it was an inter religious marriage. all this time he controls me for every little thing like I should do this and I should do that which I did not take seriously then. now everything got secured my mom wanted me to complete my degree in my hometown because I was not able to complete it anywhere else but my husband was not ok with me going to my hometown to complete my degree because of my past things. I have financial things to take care of because of the money spent for my degree so I was thinking to make a deal either to finish my degree or I wanted my husband to give back the money that was spent for my degree because he said so but then later he started to humiliate my family for expecting money from me and he told that they we just see me as an investment to earn back the money they spent on me. But my family wanted me to complete the degree at the first place.this created a lot of arguments between me and him . Finally,one day my mom approach his family and she wanted me to come with her to complete my degree but my husband was not ok with it and I was still supporting him my mom told that she will die if I didn't complete my degree because that was all that she dreamed for me her entire life. then they sent me to my hometown with my mom to complete my degree. after coming here my husband did not talk to me for 2 days, then he texted me that he does not want to live with me. he told that I and my family were being fake and we were using him and we broke him into pieces and made him go through the pain which he did not deserve. I got really emotional and I told him that I wanted to go back to him. he told me that he will take me to him the next day that he will book a bus for me to reach back to him but he did not contact me the next day .then a day later he started making arguments again this time, he said that he wanted divorce from me because he cannot have a life with me .he told that he does not want to be in my life and our child's life, if I want he can give financial support for my child's growth. I denied the money and I told him that I am not willing for a divorce unless or otherwise he wants to marry another girl then he 3 hrs later, he sent a letter of intent to divorce and I did not reply for it .what should I do now?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
As bad or hurtful as it may sound to you, you have simply thrown your life at the mercy of others. They have used you as a puppet only because you have given them permission to do so...past relationships and even now.
What you should do now is:
1. Ask an elder member (not your mother) of the family to intervene and talk to him and his side of the family to see if there is any scope for reconciliation. If there is, then your husband has got to stop playing these games of wanting you one day and then not wanting you the next. It's highly toxic to live with someone who trusts you for a moment and then asks you to prove your innocence the next moment. The two of you will need to get into Intensive Therapy as a couple to put things back together.
2. If there is no scope for reconciliation, please get a good lawyer who can secure the baby's future and yours.

Though you haven't asked me this, for your own good I suggest:
Please understand that no man is going to make you happy. So, depending on them despite the fact that can act toxic, is only draining you mentally and emotionally. Evaluate for yourself what you want from life besides being in relationships constantly. A break from it all will actually help you, you know. At least it will give you sense of how you can be by yourself and what you value the most in your life. Once you get past this stage, you will be stronger to draw boundaries and know how to enforce them. No one will be able to walk over you and you will be able to reclaim your identity.
You come first and your baby is going to need a strong mother raising them. So, step up NOW!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1839 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025
Career
Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a 1st year UG student studying engineering in Sairam Engineering College, But there the lack of exposure and strict academics feels so rigid and I don't like it that. It's like they don't gaf about skills but just wants us to memorize things and score a good CGPA, the only skill they want is you to memorize things and pass, there's even special class for students who don't perform well in academics and it is compulsory for them to attend or else the student and his/her parents needs to face authorities who lashes out. My question is when did engineering became something that requires good academics instead of actual learning and skill set. In sairam they provides us a coding platform in which we need to gain the required points for each semester which is ridiculous cuz most of the students here just look at the solution to code instead of actual debugging. I am passionate about engineering so I want to learn and experiment things instead of just memorizing, so I actually consider dropping out and I want to give jee a try and maybe viteee , srmjeee But i heard some people say SRM may provide exposure but not that good in placements. I may not be excellent at studies but my marks are decent. So gimme some insights about SRM and recommend me other colleges/universities which are good at exposure
Ans: First — your frustration is valid

What you are experiencing at Sairam is not engineering, it is rote-based credential production.

“When did engineering become memorizing instead of learning?”

Sadly, this shift happened decades ago in most Tier-3 private colleges in India.

About “coding platforms & points” – your observation is sharp

You are absolutely right:

Mandatory coding points → students copy solutions

Copying ≠ learning

Debugging & thinking are missing

This is pseudo-skill education — it looks modern but produces shallow engineers.

The fact that you noticed this in 1st year already puts you ahead of 80% students.

Should you DROP OUT and prepare for JEE / VITEEE / SRMJEEE?

Although VIT/SRM is better than Sairam Engineering College, but you may face the same problem. You will not face this type of problem only in some top IITs, but getting seat in those IITs will be difficult.
Instead of dropping immediately, consider:

???? Strategy:

Stay enrolled (degree security)

Reduce emotional investment in college rules

Use:

GitHub

Open-source projects

Hackathons

Internships (remote)

Hardware / software self-projects

This way:

College = formality

Learning = self-driven

Risk = minimal

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 07, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Dear Madam, I was a bright student during my school days and my plan was to become a civil servant but that did not succeed even after several attempts. With the advise of my brother i went ahead and pursued Masters at a normal university in Sydney. I did internship and continued staying with my job though it wasn't my field of study. After that what came as a shock was my brother's divorce. We don't know what is the actual issue till date but I tried a lot to fix the gap by talking to his ex-wife but they were very orthodox. I couldn't see my brother suffer because he had planned and arranged so much for her. I had no choice then so i try to harm his ex-wife by spoiling her reputation thinking she will come back for him. In the mean time i got married to a girl who was her relative too thinking my wife can help us in some case but she turned out to be completely in the opposite direction. She was probably convinced by my brother's ex-wife or their relatives that she is not coming back. Even then my brother tried to go meet his ex-wife through many channels. My wife did not help him at all in any aspect. Finally the divorced happened and everything ended. Now we have sought several proposals but nothing seem to be a good fit for him. Most of the girls whom we met on matrimonial sites are fake profiles with something hidden or falsely represented. I would say my brother escaped all this. But we are worried about his life now as he is already in his 40's and he seem to be struggling for a good job and finance. He is very picky probably but doesn't talk much to all of us. Sometimes he even says the game is over so no point looking at a second marriage. My wife and he fought once when he visited us because she didn't want him in our house and she created a fight putting me in the front. After that he stopped coming to our house or see us or talk to us. Things even gets worse sometimes when her brother comes and visits us and stays at our house which my parents don't like. My parents argue that your brother was not allowed to stay for few months then how come her brother is allowed for several months. What kind of partiality is that? I feel i could not do anything for him despite the fact that he is my only brother. He is good at heart and looked after me when i went abroad financially and even came to meet me few times. I tried to send him money, gifts but he is still the same. He communicates with our parents but not with me nor my wife anymore. Kindly give us a good advise.
Ans: Your brother’s distance is not a rejection of you. It is his way of protecting himself. He went through a difficult marriage, an emotional collapse, and then watched people around him — including you — react out of desperation to fix things for him. Even though your intentions came from love, he may have associated those actions with more pain and pressure. When a person has been wounded, silence feels safer than conversation. His withdrawal simply means he is tired, not that he dislikes you.
You also need to understand that the guilt you are carrying is heavier than it needs to be. You tried to intervene in his marriage because you wanted to protect him, not because you wanted to cause harm. Looking back now, with more maturity and clarity, you see the mistakes, but at that time, you were acting out of fear and love. This is why it’s important to forgive yourself instead of punishing yourself over and over.
The conflict between your wife and your brother only added another layer of stress, because it forced you into choosing sides. Your wife reacted emotionally, your brother pulled away, your parents questioned the imbalance — and in the middle of all this, you lost your sense of peace. But their disagreements are not failures on your part. They are the natural result of people operating from insecurity, fear, and past hurt.
What needs to happen now is a shift in your role. You cannot continue trying to solve everything for everyone. You cannot carry your brother’s marriage, your wife’s fears, and your parents’ judgments all at once. It’s time to step out of the role of rescuer and step into the role of a grounded, calm brother who offers presence, not solutions.
Rebuilding your bond with your brother will not come from pushing proposals, sending gifts, or trying to fix his life. It will come from offering him emotional safety. A simple message, expressing that you are sorry for any hurt, that you care for him, and that you are available whenever he feels ready, will speak louder than any effort to arrange his future. Once you send such a message, the healthiest thing you can do is give him space. Sometimes relationships repair themselves in silence, when pressure is removed.
And for yourself, healing begins when you stop believing that every problem in the family rests on your shoulders. You have given more than enough over the years. Now you deserve emotional rest. You deserve peace. You deserve to feel like a brother, not a crisis manager.
Your brother may take time, but distance does not erase love. When he feels safe, he will come closer again. Your responsibility is not to force that moment, but to make sure you are emotionally steady and ready when it happens.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10881 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 11, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear sir This is regarding my mother's financials. She is 71 years old and she earns a pension of 31k p.m. She has FD's worth 60 lacs and earns interest income of Rs.25k. I wish to know if we can buy mutual funds worth 10 lacs by diverting funds from FD for better returns. She owns a house and does not have house rent commitment . She is currently investing 10k p.m in SIP . Now the lump sum investment of 5 lacs each is intended to be done in HDFC balanced advantage fund Direct Growth and ICICI Prudential balanced advantage fund . Please advise
Ans: You are caring about your mother’s future.
This shows deep responsibility.
Her financial base also looks strong today.
Her pension gives steady cash.
Her FD interest gives extra safety.
Her home is secure.
Her SIP shows healthy discipline.

» Her Present Financial Position
Your mother is 71.
Her age makes safety a key priority.
But some growth is also needed.

She gets Rs 31000 pension each month.
This covers most basic needs.
Her FD interest adds Rs 25000 per month.
So her total monthly inflow is near Rs 56000.
This is healthy at her age.

She owns her house.
She has no rent stress.
This gives great relief.

She has FD worth Rs 60 lakh.
This gives safe income.
She also runs a SIP of Rs 10000 per month.
This is a good step.
It keeps her connected to long-term growth.

Her total structure looks balanced.
She has safety.
She has income.
She has some growth exposure.
She has low liabilities.

This is a very stable base for her age.

» Understanding Her Risk Level
At age 71, risk must be low.
But risk cannot be zero.
Zero risk pushes money into FD only.
FD return stays low.
FD return sometimes falls after tax.
FD return often stays below inflation.

This reduces future buying power.
Inflation in India stays high.
Medical costs rise fast.
Home repair costs rise.
Daily needs rise.
So some growth is needed.

Balanced exposure gives stability.
Balanced allocation protects both sides.
She should not go too high on equity.
She should not avoid equity fully.
A middle path works best at this age.

Your idea of shifting Rs 10 lakh for growth is fine.
But the type of fund must be chosen well.
The plan must also follow her age.
Her risk must be respected.

» Impact of Growth Options at Her Age
Growth funds move with markets.
Markets move up and down.
These swings can disturb seniors.
But some controlled equity helps fight inflation.

Funds with mix of equity and debt help.
They adjust risk.
They protect capital better.
They manage volatility better.
They offer smoother experience.
They suit senior citizens more.

So a mild growth approach is healthy.
This gives better long-term value.
This gives inflation protection.
This reduces long-term stress.

Still, the fund choice must be careful.
And the plan style must be guided.

» Concerns With Direct Plans
You mentioned direct funds.
Direct funds seem cheap.
But cheap is not always better.

Direct funds give no guidance.
Direct funds give no review support.
Direct funds give no risk matching.
Direct funds need constant study.
Direct funds need skill.
Direct funds need time.

Many investors think direct plans save money.
But small savings can cause big losses.
Wrong choices reduce returns.
Wrong timing reduces gains.
Wrong exit increases tax.

Regular plans bring professional support through MFDs with CFP credentials.
They offer yearly reviews.
They track risk closely.
They guide corrections.
They support crisis moments.
They help in asset mix.
They help keep emotions stable.

This support is very helpful for seniors.
Your mother will not need to study markets.
She will not need to track cycles.
She will not need to worry about volatility.
She can stay calm.

So regular plans may suit her better.
The small extra fee is actually buying professional hand-holding.
This hand-holding protects wealth.
This reduces mistakes.
This brings long-term peace.

» Her Liquidity Need
At age 71, liquidity matters.
She must access money fast during emergencies.
Medical needs can arise.
Health cost can be sudden.
She must be ready.

FD gives quick access.
This is useful.
So FD should not be reduced too much.

Shifting Rs 10 lakh is acceptable.
But shifting more may reduce comfort.
She must always feel safe.
Her emotional comfort is important.

So Rs 10 lakh is the right level.
It keeps major FD corpus safe.
It keeps growth exposure controlled.

This balance supports her peace.

» Her Current SIP
She puts Rs 10000 per month in SIP.
This is positive.
This brings slow steady growth.
This builds long-term value.

She should continue this SIP.
She may reduce it later based on comfort.
But she should not stop it now.
This SIP adds inflation protection.
This SIP builds a small buffer.

A continuous SIP helps smooth markets.
It builds confidence.

» Income Stability for Her
Her pension covers needs.
Her FD interest adds comfort.
Her SIP invests for future needs.
Her home saves rent.

So she has stable income.
Her life standard is maintained.
Her risk level can stay low.

Her monthly cash flow is positive.
Her needs are covered.
So she need not worry about returns too much.
But a little growth is still healthy.

» Should She Shift Rs 10 Lakh From FD?
Yes, she can shift Rs 10 lakh.
This does not hurt her safety.
This does not shake her cash flow.
This supports inflation protection.

But the fund must be right.
The plan must match her age.
The risk must stay low.
The allocation must stay controlled.

A balanced strategy is better.
Smooth returns suit seniors.
Moderate risk suits her age.

Still, the fund must be in regular plan.
Direct plan may cause long-term risk.
Direct plans place the heavy load on the investor.
At her age, this stress is avoidable.
Regular plans give smoother support.

» Why Not Use the Specific Schemes Mentioned
The schemes you named are direct plans.
Direct plans give no support.
Direct plans leave all decisions to you.
Direct plans leave all risk checks on you.

Also, each fund has its own style.
Each adjusts differently.
You must check suitability.
You must review them yearly.
This needs time and skill.

For her age, this is not ideal.
A simple, guided, regular plan works better.

Also, some funds change risk levels fast.
Some increase equity without warning.
Some change style in market shifts.
This can disturb seniors.
She must stay with stable funds.
She must stay with guided models.

This protects her long-term peace.

» The Role of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds suit Indian markets.
India grows fast.
Sectors rise and fall fast.
Many companies grow fast.
Many also fall fast.

Active managers study these shifts.
They adjust quicker.
They avoid weak sectors.
They add strong businesses.
They protect downside.
They enhance upside.

Index funds cannot do this.
Index funds copy indices.
Indices carry weak companies also.
Indices carry overpriced stocks.
Indices do not avoid bad phases.
Indices cannot change weight fast.
So index funds give no defensive shield.

Actively managed funds work harder.
They try to reduce shocks.
They try to smooth volatility.
This suits seniors more.

So an active regular plan through an MFD with CFP credentials is better for her.

» Tax Angle on Mutual Fund Redemption
Capital gain rules matter.
For equity funds, long-term gains above Rs 1.25 lakh have 12.5% tax.
Short-term gains have 20% tax.
Debt fund gains follow your tax slab.

Senior investors must plan exits well.
They must avoid excess tax shock.
They must stagger withdrawals.
They must redeem only when needed.

A guided regular plan helps avoid tax mistakes.
Direct funds offer no such guidance.

» Her Emergency Preparedness
At her age, emergency readiness is key.
She must have quick cash.
She must have easy access.
Her FD base helps this.

She has Rs 60 lakh in FD.
This is strong.
She should keep most of this.
Maybe an emergency bucket of Rs 5 to 10 lakh must stay fully liquid.

This brings peace.
This prevents panic.
This avoids forced redemption.

» Family Support System
You are involved.
This protects her retirement.
You can offer emotional help.
You can offer decision help.
This support makes her financial life safe.

Family support keeps stress low for seniors.
She will feel secure.
She will stay calm during market changes.

» How Her Future Years Can Stay Stable
She needs comfort.
She needs safety.
She needs liquidity.
She needs some growth.
She needs health cover.
She needs emotional peace.

A control-based plan helps:
– Keep most money in FD
– Keep some in balanced mutual funds
– Keep SIP running
– Keep money easily accessible
– Keep risk low
– Keep asset mix simple
– Keep tax impact low
– Keep reviews yearly

This keeps her retirement smooth.

» Built-In Protection for Senior Life
Her plan must also protect future risk.
Medical cost may rise.
Home repairs may occur.
Occasional family support may be needed.

So she must:
– Keep cash bucket
– Keep healthy insurance
– Keep documents updated
– Keep financial papers organised
– Keep digital and physical files safe

This brings long-term safety.

» Withdrawal Strategy
She may not need withdrawals now.
Her income covers expenses.
But she may need money in later years.

She should follow a layered method:

Short-term needs from FD

Medium needs from balanced funds

Long-term needs from SIP corpus

Emergency money from liquid FD

This spreads risk.
This avoids sudden losses.
This protects her capital.

» Assessing the Rs 10 Lakh Transfer
This transfer is fine.
But it must not go to direct plans.
It must go to regular plans.
Guided plans reduce mistakes.
Guided plans suit seniors.

Split into two funds is fine.
But avoid too much complexity.
Simple structure reduces stress.
Easy structure improves clarity.

So two regular plans through an MFD with CFP credentials is ideal.

» Final Insights
Your mother has a strong base.
Her pension is stable.
Her FD pool is healthy.
Her home reduces cost.
Her SIP adds growth.

Adding Rs 10 lakh into balanced mutual funds is a good idea.
But shift to regular plans with expert guidance.
Direct plans are not suitable for seniors.
They bring more risk.
They bring more complexity.
They bring more stress.

Regular plans bring reviews.
Regular plans match risk.
Regular plans reduce mistakes.
Regular plans suit her age.

Her future looks stable with this mix.
Her life can stay comfortable.
She can enjoy her senior years with peace.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10881 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi, I am 53 years with a wife and two children. My total savings comprising of MF, Shares, PDF,EPF, NPS & FD are approx. 3Cr. Our current monthly outgoing including SIPs is approximately 100000. Will the above savings amount be sufficient to sustain for the next 20 years?
Ans: You have managed to build Rs 3 Cr by age 53.
This shows steady discipline.
Your savings mix also looks balanced.
Your family seems stable.
Your cost control also looks fair.
This gives a good base for the next stage of life.

» Your Current Position
Your savings stand near Rs 3 Cr.
Your monthly outflow is near Rs 100000.
This includes your SIP amount also.
Your family has four members.
You have two children.
Your wife is with you.
You have a mixed pool across MF, shares, PF, EPF, NPS, and FD.
This mix brings both growth and stability.
This gives you a good base.

Your age is 53.
You have around 7 to 12 working years left.
This period is crucial.
Your decisions now shape the next 20 years.
Your savings rate also matters.
Your cost control also shapes the future.

Today’s numbers show you have a good foundation.
But sustainability depends on many factors.
We must study inflation, spending pattern, growth pattern, tax, risk level, health cost, and cash flow flexibility.

» Understanding the Cash Flow Stress
Your family spends around Rs 100000 today.
This includes SIP.
After retirement, SIP will stop.
But living costs will continue.
Costs increase each year.
Inflation can eat cash fast.
So we must ensure growth in wealth.
Slow growth can stress the corpus.
Fast growth brings more shocks.
So balance is key.

Rs 3 Cr looks large today.
But 20 years is long.
Inflation reduces buying power.
Medical costs also rise.
Family needs also shift.

Your money can last 20 years.
But it needs correct planning.
Blind use of the corpus will not help.
Proper flow matters.
Proper asset selection also matters.
You need steady growth.
You need low shocks.
You need stable income.

» Role of Growth Assets
Many families fear growth assets.
But growth assets are needed today.
Inflation is strong in India.
If money stays in FD only, it suffers.
FD return stays low.
Post-tax return stays even lower.
FD return does not beat inflation.
FD cannot support long-term plans.

Mutual funds bring better growth.
Actively managed funds bring better research.
They allow expert judgement.
They can handle market swings better.
They study sectors and businesses.
They adjust the portfolio.
They aim for more consistent returns.
This helps protect wealth.

Some people choose direct plans.
But direct plans need full time study.
They need skill.
They need discipline.
Most investors do not have the time.
Wrong choices can reduce returns.
Direct plans give no guidance.
Direct plans can reduce long-term peace.

Regular plans through an MFD with CFP credential give better support.
They help with reviews.
They help with corrections.
They help with rebalancing.
They help manage behaviour.
They save time and stress.

You already have MF exposure.
This is good.
You should keep this path.
Active fund management will help long-term stability.

» Role of Safety Assets
You have EPF, PPF, NPS, FD.
These give safety.
They give peace.
But they give lower return.
Too much safety reduces future income.
A mix of both is needed.

Safety assets give steady income.
But they do not grow fast.
They cannot support 20 years alone.
So balance must be kept.

» Assessing the Sustainability for 20 Years
Rs 3 Cr can support 20 years.
But it depends on:

Your retirement age

Your spending pattern

Your ability to reduce costs

Your asset mix

Your growth rate

Your inflation level

Your health cost

Your emergency needs

If your core expenses stay in control, your corpus can last.
If you invest well, your corpus can support you.
If you avoid panic, your wealth will grow.
Your children may also get settled.
Your own needs may reduce.

The key is proper planning.
Without planning, the corpus can shrink fast.
With planning, it will last long.

» Inflation Impact
Inflation is silent.
It eats buying power.
Costs double every few years.
Food rises.
Health rises.
Daily life rises.
School fees rise.
Lifestyle rises.

If your money grows slower than inflation, you lose power.
So growth assets must be part of the plan.
They help beat inflation.
They help protect lifestyle.
They help support long-term needs.

This is why active mutual funds stay useful.
They bring research-driven decisions.
They help fight inflation better.
They stay flexible.
They move with the economy.

» Evaluating Your Retirement Readiness
You stand near retirement zone.
You still have some working life.
You still earn.
You still save.
Your income supports your SIP.
This is good.
This is the right stage to improve planning.

Your SIP amount builds future cash.
Your insurance must be proper.
Your emergency fund must be strong.
Your health cover must be strong.

You have PF and NPS.
These give safety.
They bring stability.
They give steady return.
But they do not give high return.
Growth will come from MF and equity.

Your retirement readiness depends on:

Cash flow plan

Growth plan

Insurance plan

Medical cover plan

Long-term income plan

Withdrawal plan

When all parts align, you will stay secure.

» Withdrawal Strategy for the Future
When you retire, cash flow must stay smooth.
You cannot depend on FD alone.
You cannot depend only on EPF.
You cannot depend on one asset class.
You need a mix.

Your withdrawal should come from:

Some from safety assets

Some from growth assets

Some from periodic rebalancing

This helps you avoid panic selling.
This helps you maintain stability.
This protects your lifestyle.

Tax must also be managed.
Tax on equity MF has new rules.
Long-term gain above Rs 1.25 lakh has 12.5% tax.
Short-term gain has 20% tax.
Debt MF gain follows your tax slab.
These rules shape your withdrawal plan.
You must plan redemptions wisely.

» Health and Family Factors
Health cost is rising in India.
Hospital bills rise fast.
Health shocks drain savings.
So good health cover is needed.
Family needs must be studied.

Your children may still need some support.
Their education or marriage may need funds.
These costs must be planned early.
You should not dip into retirement money.
Clear planning avoids stress.

Your wife also needs future support.
Joint planning is better.
Shared decisions help discipline.

» Need for a Structured Review
A structured review every year is needed.
Your income may change.
Your savings may rise.
Your spending may shift.
Your goals may change.
Your risk level may shift.
Your family needs may change.

Review helps you stay on track.
Review helps catch issues early.
Review helps you correct mistakes.
Review brings peace.

A Certified Financial Planner can guide reviews.
This support builds confidence.
This reduces stress.
This brings clarity.

» How to Strengthen Your Position
You already stand strong.
But you can still improve.
Here are some steps to make your 20 years safer.

Keep your growth-safety mix balanced

Increase your SIP when income allows

Avoid direct plans if guidance needed

Use regular plans for proper support

Avoid real estate due to low returns

Increase your emergency fund

Improve your health cover

Avoid ULIP and mixed plans if you ever have them

Review your EPF and NPS allocation

Track your spending carefully

Plan for yearly rebalancing

Keep enough liquidity for short needs

Keep boredom decisions away

Stay invested even in tough times

Trust long-term compounding

Each step adds stability.
Your family will feel safe.

» Building a Strong Future Income Flow
Income must not come from one basket.
Income should come from:

MF SWP

PF interest

FD ladder

NPS withdrawal in a slow way

Equity redemption in a planned way

This spreads risk.
This spreads tax.
This spreads stress.

Staggered withdrawal helps peace.
Your money grows even while you spend.
Your corpus stays healthy.

» Maintaining Low Stress in Retirement
Retirement should be peaceful.
Money stress should be low.
Good planning ensures this.

Keep clear communication with your family.
Keep your files organised.
Keep your goals updated.
Keep calm during market swings.

Your corpus can support you.
Your strategy will shape your peace.

» Final Insights
Your Rs 3 Cr corpus is a strong base.
Your age gives you time to improve more.
Your monthly spending is manageable.
Your asset mix supports your future.

But planning is needed.
Cash flow must be aligned with inflation.
Growth assets must stay active.
Safety assets must be balanced.
Withdrawal must be planned wisely.
Health cost must be covered.
Risk must be contained.

With proper planning, your wealth can support the next 20 years.
Your family can live with comfort.
Your lifestyle can stay stable.
Your future can stay safe.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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