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Should I propose to a guy who likes me after calling off our engagement?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |584 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 11, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I had been getting marriage proposals for arrange marriage, my marriage got fixed and roka happened in a rush , when we started talking I felt no chemistry may be because I was highly anxious due to the rush to marriage and i could spot some red flags like he was taking no stand to postpone the wedding when he could clearly see that I was not ready . I couldn't take it anymore and I called off the wedding, after some months we talked again and I felt okay with him given that there was no pressure of merriage but when again he started asking for how should we move ahead I called it off again, but we are still in touch in social media and i think he really likes me his parents also like me alot , i think he is looking for new relationship now but i feel if I ask him to marry me he would not reject i don't want to regrate that I missed on a person who loves me alot of he gets married to someone else. When I had called off the roka I got other proposals one of them was a person very rich and smart, but i didn't initiated anything as i thought I was not ready but now he is married to someone else and I regret that very often. What should I do , should I ask the first person to marry me ? How can I move forward from the regrate of not taking the opportunity to have a perfect lifestyle? Or just look for other fresh relationship

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I suggest you take some time off for yourself. From your description of things, I am getting a hint that you are not ready for life-long commitment right now. Or it can just be cold feet. Nevertheless, you should take some time off from looking for partners. Moreover, giving this person hope and calling things off over and over again is not very kind. Your regret might just be FOMO. It's best to take your time and then get back to the marriage alliances once you feel mentally prepared for it.

Best wishes.

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Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jan 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 04, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I am struck in a morally complicated situation right now. Kindly guide me . I'm a modern woman yet who believes in culture. I am 24years old female from South India. Currently arrange marriage alliance process is going on and it is almost about to be finalized if i say yes. I have had a 3 serious relationship s in my past and the last one i was physically involved because i believed we would end up together. Even our families were involved we were about to get engaged. everything went fine until one day we had a huge fight and later as a result he didn't want to continue it anymore. He broke it off. This happened 1.5 years back and I loved him too much that I wanted him to comeback. Deep down i know he was not right guy for me yet i wanted him. About 2 months back I had a sudden realisation that hit me very bad I realised I need to move on and mentally I was able to disconnect myself from him, not completely but yeah i did. Now in the current situation the guy who is my potential fiance, I want to be transparent with him but I am not sure how well he will take it as we barely know each other. I met him only twice. He seems interested to marry me. I do not want to ruin his trust or feelings. The problem is I am not sure if he is open minded enough to accept my past. I'm willing to put in my efforts to make things work in marriage and keep my past behind me. If I tell him about my past and he is not interested to proceed and reject us my family will be upset ( they liked this match cuz the guy was nice and decent, his family and everything was convenient to them). I am totally stressed out as my family is waiting for my response to proceed further. The guy doesn't seem to be very particular about anything. I don't know what to do and how to do it.
Ans: I totally understand your concern. My advise is not to get into arrange marriage in the first place. Because that's a very transactional relationship. Go out, meet more guys and then see if you find someone you love. You are too young to give into the pressure of arrange marriage. However if you still want to proceed, then whether you tell him or not doesn't really matter. It depends on his mindset and value system which i have no idea about and probably you too. So even if you don't tell him, it doesn't matter. If you want to be honest which is a good thing, then you embrace that uncertainty of his reaction to it.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi ma'am, thank you so much for helping people with your answers. My question Im 27, F I met a guy through arranged marrage proposal, initially was not very ok because of which I postponed telling my decision for 2 weeks. Then we both spoke and i said yes, next week he called my father and said he is looking to get married to someone who is financially rich, I was totally taken back because when he spoke he seemed very genuine and promising i called and spoke to him he says he is still in growing state so he needs some financial aid from his inlaws, i said I have a job I can support him, he said give me a weeks time to decide, next week he called me and said he is ok with the marriage in the ground that I will work and support, I SAID HIM PLS ALLOW ME SOMETIME TO DECIDE, AS THIS IS NOt SCHOOL, COLLEGE OR JOB DECISIONS. When I called after 1 week he is not taking my calls, by my sentance i meant school, college or job can be left if not interested but marriage is not like that. Am wondering if he understood this as what if this girl has multiple relationship in school/college/job... And am assuming he did not take my call for this statement of mine? Please help me come out of this confusion, are my words very stupid? My family is scolded and blaming me because I delayed it for 2 week.. Mentally exhausted with all the arranged marriage rejection...and is it worth to get married at 27?? Awaiting for your answers
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am glad that he is out of this equation...
Which mature man will act the way that he did simply because you requested for time? And then now, you are wondering if it was your fault?
What sort of condition was that about wanting financial aid from his future in-laws? A marriage under any condition will not work as it depends on things external. Where is the time to build trust and love when there are superficial conditions present?
You have not been rejected, you have rescued yourself from a relationship with an immature man. So, pat yourself in the back and value yourself first.
The right person who will appreciate you will come along...start to appreciate yourself...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |584 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 29, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Around 2022, I got a marriage proposal from a mutual acquaintance of a guy who us also known to my family . At that time I was in a relationship with someone else so my family told that I am currently focusing on my studies . But recently , I am single and saw his account on social media . We started chatting with each other and I realised that we are conpatible in many aspects . But after some days ... my mother started pressuring me that they will start to see marriage prospects for me. Also I felt that he also feels the same for me because how he talked to me... So out of pressure ,I asked him and told about my feelings for him and told why it will be profitable if we consider ourselves as a couple .He told that he has a lot of pressure from his family to settle for a well paying job (though he is working in a private company)and also wants to focus on his passion too. Also he had brojen his heart 2 times. Although he assured that he is not saying no and also he would think over this proposal and would give me an answer . But the next day I saw he blocked me from social media . I would have appreciated if he had an open communication with me as I had the same . Btw now he is 27 and I am 23 .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am very sorry to hear that you had to go through this. Some people do not have the emotional maturity to say a simple no or speak their truth. He might not have wanted to make things awkward or thought he was sparing you some pain but ultimately that isn't the case. But the important thing to remember here is that his action reflects on him and what kind of a person he is; it does not highlight your worth. I know it hurts right now, but it will get better and you will find someone who loves you.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8334 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 12, 2025
Money
I am 38 years old and self-employed, earning an average of 1.8 to 2 lakhs per month. I have a home loan of 44 lakhs (EMI is 46,000, tenure 15 years). There is no other liabilities. My investments include 11 lakhs in mutual funds, 3 lakhs in fixed deposits, and 1.5 lakh in gold. Should I focus on prepaying the home loan given my irregular income, or keep my investments intact and continue with EMIs?
Ans: You are doing quite well, especially with your investments and controlled liabilities. Your financial discipline is truly appreciable.

You are 38, self-employed, with Rs.1.8 to 2 lakhs monthly income.
Your current home loan is Rs.44 lakhs with EMI of Rs.46,000 for 15 years.
You have Rs.11 lakhs in mutual funds, Rs.3 lakhs in FDs, and Rs.1.5 lakhs in gold.
Your income is irregular, but you have no other liabilities.

Let us now do a 360-degree evaluation of whether to prepay the loan or stay invested.

 

Step-by-Step Financial Assessment
1. Evaluate the Stability of Your Income First
You earn between Rs.1.8 to Rs.2 lakhs per month.

 

But income is irregular. That needs caution.

 

Loan EMI is Rs.46,000 — about 25% of your average income.

 

If income drops in any month, EMI pressure will increase.

 

So we must first ensure EMI is always affordable, without stress.

 

Hence, liquidity is more important for you right now than aggressive loan prepayment.

 

2. Evaluate Your Emergency Reserve
You have Rs.3 lakhs in FD and Rs.1.5 lakhs in gold.

 

That makes it Rs.4.5 lakhs total liquid safety.

 

Your EMI is Rs.46,000, and personal expenses will also be there.

 

Ideal emergency fund for you = 6 to 9 months of expenses + EMI.

 

That is around Rs.6 to Rs.8 lakhs minimum.

 

So current emergency fund is slightly lower than ideal.

 

Please don’t use this for loan prepayment now.

 

3. Assess the Role of Mutual Funds
You have Rs.11 lakhs in mutual funds. That’s a solid step.

Now let’s assess whether to redeem this and prepay loan.

 

Should You Redeem Mutual Funds to Prepay?
Mutual funds, over long term, give better post-tax return than loan savings.

 

Loan interest is 8% to 9%, whereas mutual funds can give 11–13% in long term.

 

Especially if funds are equity-oriented and held for 5+ years.

 

You will also get capital gains tax exemption on Rs.1.25 lakhs LTCG annually.

 

If you redeem funds, you lose growth potential and compounding.

 

That hurts long-term wealth building.

 

So, do not redeem the entire Rs.11 lakhs in mutual funds.

 

4. Disadvantage of Early Loan Prepayment in Your Case
Prepaying early will reduce interest over time, yes.

 

But you may run into cash flow stress in slow months.

 

Once money is used to prepay, it cannot be taken back easily.

 

Liquidity once lost = flexibility lost.

 

Also, income tax benefit under Section 24(b) gets reduced if loan balance drops.

 

So it’s better to maintain balance between repayment and investment.

 

5. Best Strategy for You – A Balanced Approach
Let’s now craft the best plan for you.

 

Maintain Strong Liquidity First
Keep FD and gold untouched.

 

Increase emergency fund to at least Rs.6–Rs.7 lakhs.

 

For that, set aside extra Rs.2.5–Rs.3 lakhs from savings over time.

 

This makes your EMI safe even in low-income months.

 

Continue Your Mutual Fund SIPs Without Stopping
SIPs give long-term growth and beat loan interest in most cases.

 

Don’t stop mutual fund investments to prepay loan.

 

Stay invested. Let wealth compound.

 

Start Small and Periodic Prepayments
Don’t do bulk prepayment now. Do systematic small prepayments.

 

For example, Rs.25,000 to Rs.50,000 extra every 3–4 months.

 

When income is higher, use that surplus to prepay in parts.

 

Target 1–2 bulk part-payments per year.

 

This reduces tenure and interest slowly, without affecting liquidity.

 

Track Your Loan Amortisation Every 6 Months
Use netbanking or get a fresh loan statement every 6 months.

 

Check how each prepayment is reducing principal.

 

Adjust your strategy accordingly.

 

Avoid One-Time Full Prepayment
That would kill your long-term investment compounding.

 

Also removes your income tax benefit under Section 24(b).

 

Stay flexible. You are self-employed.

 

You need cash buffers more than salaried people.

 

Final Insights
Do not do bulk home loan prepayment from mutual funds now.

 

Keep SIPs going and maintain your compounding.

 

Grow your emergency fund to Rs.6–7 lakhs minimum.

 

Use surplus months to make small part-payments towards home loan.

 

This protects your peace and builds wealth at the same time.

 

Reassess in 2–3 years. You may be able to prepay more later.

 

You are already in a good financial position. Your thoughtful approach is praiseworthy.

 

Best Regards,
 
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
 
Chief Financial Planner,
 
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8334 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 12, 2025

Money
i wish to purchase new car i10, should i purchase the same through own money or should i take a vehicle loan from bank and the money own by my to be kept as FDR or liquid mutual fund
Ans: It’s a good sign that you’re thinking before buying a car. You’re not rushing into it. That shows maturity and smart thinking.

We will now evaluate own money vs vehicle loan — from every angle.

 

Understanding the Nature of a Car Purchase
A car is not an investment.

 

It is a consumption asset, not a growth asset.

 

It depreciates every year. Its value goes down, not up.

 

So the cheaper the total cost, the better for your wealth.

 

Option 1: Use Own Money Fully
Pros

No interest cost. You save on total expenses.

 

You are free from monthly EMI pressure.

 

Car becomes fully yours from day one.

 

No need to deal with bank, forms, hypothecation etc.

 

Cons

Your liquid money reduces.

 

You may not have enough cash for emergencies.

 

Opportunity loss if you had invested that money.

 

Option 2: Take Vehicle Loan & Keep Own Money in FDR or Liquid Mutual Fund
Let’s evaluate this with care.

Vehicle Loan Pros

You can preserve your savings for emergencies.

 

EMI can be budgeted monthly, if income is stable.

 

Some banks offer competitive interest rates.

 

Vehicle Loan Cons

You will pay interest on a depreciating item.

 

Loan adds to your monthly obligations.

 

You must pay insurance, EMI, fuel, and service together.

 

FDR and Liquid Mutual Funds give lower returns than loan cost.

 

So you will likely lose more in interest than you gain.

 

Let's Compare: Interest Rate vs Investment Return
Vehicle loan interest is usually 9% to 11% per year.

 

FDR gives around 6% to 7% before tax.

 

Liquid mutual funds give 6% to 7.5% on average.

 

So you pay more to the bank than you earn from investment.

 

Tax on interest or gains reduces actual return further.

 

This means taking a car loan and investing your own money leads to net loss.

 

Best Option for You: Smart Compromise Approach
Let me share a wise solution.

 

Don’t use full own money. Don’t take full loan either.

 

Instead, pay 70–80% from own funds.

 

Take a small car loan for the remaining 20–30% only.

 

This keeps EMI low and retains some liquidity.

 

You reduce interest cost and also keep Rs.50,000–Rs.1 lakh aside.

 

Park that in liquid fund for any urgent need.

 

Repay this small loan fast in 1–2 years.

 

Only Take a Car Loan If:
Your job income is stable.

 

You already have 3–6 months emergency fund ready.

 

You don’t have big loans running now.

 

You can pay EMI without affecting savings.

 

You commit to close the loan early.

 

Avoid This Mistake:
Never buy a more expensive car because loan makes it “feel affordable.”

 

Loan should not expand your car budget.

 

Whether you buy with loan or cash, pick a simple car within limits.

 

i10 is a wise, middle-ground choice. Good thought.

 

Tax Angle (If Business Use)
If you are using the car for business, vehicle loan interest may be tax-deductible.

 

But for personal use, there is no tax benefit.

 

So do not take loan just for imagined tax saving.

 

Final Insights
A car is a need, not an investment.

 

Using your own money fully keeps things simple and cheap.

 

Taking a full car loan and investing the money gives net negative return.

 

Best option is a split approach — pay major part from own funds.

 

Take small loan only if needed and close it early.

 

Always keep emergency money aside before buying.

 

Avoid emotional buying or overbudget cars.

 

Your financially balanced approach is very appreciable.

 

Best Regards,
 
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
 
Chief Financial Planner,
 
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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