Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jan 06, 2024

Mohit Arora is a relationship coach, image consultant, soft skills trainer and the founder of Real Dating School. He has a BTech degree in computer science from the Rayat & Bahra Institute of Engineering and Biotechnology, Mohali, Punjab. He has been conducting customised skilling and communication workshops since 2014.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 04, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hi, I am struck in a morally complicated situation right now. Kindly guide me . I'm a modern woman yet who believes in culture. I am 24years old female from South India. Currently arrange marriage alliance process is going on and it is almost about to be finalized if i say yes. I have had a 3 serious relationship s in my past and the last one i was physically involved because i believed we would end up together. Even our families were involved we were about to get engaged. everything went fine until one day we had a huge fight and later as a result he didn't want to continue it anymore. He broke it off. This happened 1.5 years back and I loved him too much that I wanted him to comeback. Deep down i know he was not right guy for me yet i wanted him. About 2 months back I had a sudden realisation that hit me very bad I realised I need to move on and mentally I was able to disconnect myself from him, not completely but yeah i did. Now in the current situation the guy who is my potential fiance, I want to be transparent with him but I am not sure how well he will take it as we barely know each other. I met him only twice. He seems interested to marry me. I do not want to ruin his trust or feelings. The problem is I am not sure if he is open minded enough to accept my past. I'm willing to put in my efforts to make things work in marriage and keep my past behind me. If I tell him about my past and he is not interested to proceed and reject us my family will be upset ( they liked this match cuz the guy was nice and decent, his family and everything was convenient to them). I am totally stressed out as my family is waiting for my response to proceed further. The guy doesn't seem to be very particular about anything. I don't know what to do and how to do it.

Ans: I totally understand your concern. My advise is not to get into arrange marriage in the first place. Because that's a very transactional relationship. Go out, meet more guys and then see if you find someone you love. You are too young to give into the pressure of arrange marriage. However if you still want to proceed, then whether you tell him or not doesn't really matter. It depends on his mindset and value system which i have no idea about and probably you too. So even if you don't tell him, it doesn't matter. If you want to be honest which is a good thing, then you embrace that uncertainty of his reaction to it.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi Ma'am, I have been in a relationship for almost a decade now i.e. since graduation and now me and my bf are doing good in our respective jobs. Since we come from different religions, we have been trying to convince our family very much for last two years to let us happen and get married and in these scenarios during covid I lost my father too now that it's just me and my mom and my elder sister due to societal pressure also they were not agreeing for us but then I could feel now that his family was some how just dragging us showing fake acceptance for me but still being very orthodox but in this process me and my bf got committed to each other very seriously in terms of physical ways but now his family is completely denying the fact that they don't us to happen and are literally forcing his son to marry in their caste. On this thing, the guy is trying to make me understand with false accusations that it's not his family butine which doesn't want us to proceed since my family wanted a mutual ways of marriage and not just his culture thing or else court marriage was the last opt but my guy is saying no I can never go against my family this and that you better understand and I don't know I'm feeling very cheated that now at this stage after being this close where he should have been standing strong with me he's pushing me to set back I don't know iam so clueless I got no energy to get back to being productive in my life or something whereas this acts of his and his family's forcible nature is somehow triggering me to opt for legal methods....I need guidance it's all dark for me and feeling too used.
Ans: Hello Dear,
I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing in your relationship. It's a complex and emotionally charged situation, and it's understandable that you're feeling hurt and confused It's okay to take some time for self-reflection and self-care. Understand and acknowledge your emotions before making any decisions. Give yourself the space to process the situation and its impact on your well-being. Have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings. Share your concerns, fears, and expectations. Encourage him to express his feelings and concerns as well. Effective communication is crucial at this stage. Reflect on your priorities and values in a relationship. Consider whether the current situation aligns with what you envision for your future. Be honest with yourself about what you need and deserve in a partnership. If you're contemplating legal steps, it's advisable to seek legal advice to understand the implications and options available to you. Consult with a lawyer who can provide guidance based on your specific situation and laws. While it's crucial to address the relationship concerns, also focus on your personal growth and well-being. Pursue activities that bring you joy, engage in self-improvement, and consider your long-term goals. Assess whether the relationship is healthy and supportive. Consider whether both partners are willing to work through challenges and make compromises for the well-being of the relationship. Establish clear boundaries for yourself. Determine what you are willing to accept and what you cannot tolerate in the relationship. It's crucial to prioritize your own well-being. If both families are open to it, consider seeking the help of a mediator or counselor who can facilitate discussions and help find common ground. Mediation can be a constructive way to address conflicts and find solutions.
Ultimately, prioritize your own happiness and well-being. If the relationship is causing you significant distress, it's important to evaluate whether it's a healthy and fulfilling partnership for you. it's okay to seek professional help or legal advice if needed. Making decisions about your future can be challenging, but it's crucial to prioritize your own happiness and mental health. If you find it difficult to navigate these issues on your own, seeking guidance from professionals or supportive friends can make a significant difference.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |570 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 05, 2024
Relationship
It is really difficult to explain what I am going through and my words might not completely bring that out but a piece of advice/perception might be really helpful. I am 30 years old. I have a long term boyfriend(started dating in 2012). He was the world to me till almost 2020. He was my family, my everything. I too meant the world to him. We treated each other like "I am his and he is mine". Such was the commitment and care. We never thought we could even think of marrying some one else. We are in long distance since 2017. Used to meet once in every 2 months sort of. In 2021, I met some one else and started going out with him as we were in the same city just casually believing that nothing serious has to happen between us and that I "obviously" will marry my long term boyfriend undoubtedly. But things drastically changed. I developed strong feelings for this person and met more frequently. I went with the flow despite having immense guilt that things will eventually get very complicated and all the three of us will be hurt. But I never gathered the courage to break ties with this new person as the bonding was very maturely strong between us. Nor I could break ties with my long term boyfriend as he still was "my family" and he was the only one I resorted to whenever I needed someone. The new guy belongs to a caste my family will never agree and because of this I persuaded the marriage talks with my family for my long term boyfriend. My family agreed and my marriage date is scheduled in end of November 2024. But I everyday am in dilemma as to whether should I marry my long term boyfriend as scheduled or should I take a bold step of breaking it and going for the guy I met in 2021. I told my mother about the situation but she said my father will never agree for this new guy's caste and that its too late and I should marry as scheduled. I am not able to take a decision and going with the flow and probably will get married with this dual thought and uncertainty. I have thought a lot about this, about how my life will be with both of them, but its very difficult for me to break things with my long term boyfriend even though I have no romantic feelings for him from the past 3 years. There is 0 intimacy, neither emotional nor physical. But I do care for him. I do want him in my life, whether as a husband or otherwise. I feel the way he takes care of me and thinks about me, no one else will. But the thing is I don't actually "feel" for him anything, nor do I miss him as much, we don't talk the way we used to , there's a detachment. We are in long distance and are in such different fields that we never probably will live closer location wise. There's financial disparity. I earn almost thrice as him but we probably are okay with this. We both are aware of all these problems and are still ready to marry with the "hope" that things will eventually be okay. On the other hand, the guy I met in 2021- he has a good career and location wise, we are in long distance too but way better placed and in near future, his job location might be very flexible. He earns more but has huge family obligations as his family including his two brothers are not very well off. I have probably made peace with it when I thought about considering him for marriage. I love him and we have great emotional intimacy . I feel so calm and happy around him. It's like a festival when he is around me. He too loves me a lot and is ready to take efforts to make our marriage possible given the family and caste differences. I am really very disturbed and unable to decide whether I should break the marriage as if things don't improve after marriage, I will regret it always. Preparations have started slightly and it would be a big step now. Should I just forget about the 2021 guy and marry my long term boyfriend in November hoping that things will fall in place..or.. What should I do! My long term boyfriend has also lost feelings for me but he still cares for me and he says if we work for our relationship, things will be good post marriage
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It sounds like a difficult decision to make. But one simple thing is that you should never commit for a lifetime to a person you do not feel for; that does not mean I am asking you to leave him right away and marry the other guy. That means, you can have an open talk with your long-term BF. Tell him how you feel and let him clarify his feelings too. You can postpone the wedding to sort things out first- and think hard whether both of you want to get married at all.
Leaving one does not equate to choosing another. Choose yourself first; your happiness. You can never be happy in a relationship when you are of two minds. Please don't rush to get married to either of them.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |570 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
This is an urgent situation and is really difficult to explain what I am going through and my words might not completely bring that out but a piece of advice/perception might be really helpful. I am 30 years old. I have a long term boyfriend(started dating in 2012). He was the world to me till almost 2020. He was my family, my everything. I too meant the world to him. We treated each other like "I am his and he is mine". Such was the commitment and care. We never thought we could even think of marrying some one else. We are in long distance since 2017. Used to meet once in every 2 months sort of. In 2021, I met some one else and started going out with him as we were in the same city just casually believing that nothing serious has to happen between us and that I "obviously" will marry my long term boyfriend undoubtedly. But things drastically changed. I developed strong feelings for this person and met more frequently. I went with the flow despite having immense guilt that things will eventually get very complicated and all the three of us will be hurt. But I never gathered the courage to break ties with this new person as the bonding was very maturely strong between us. Nor I could break ties with my long term boyfriend as he still was "my family" and he was the only one I resorted to whenever I needed someone. The new guy belongs to a caste my family will never agree and because of this I persuaded the marriage talks with my family for my long term boyfriend. My family agreed and my marriage date is scheduled in end of November 2024. But I everyday am in dilemma as to whether should I marry my long term boyfriend as scheduled or should I take a bold step of breaking it and going for the guy I met in 2021. I told my mother about the situation but she said my father will never agree for this new guy's caste and that its too late and I should marry as scheduled. I am not able to take a decision and going with the flow and probably will get married with this dual thought and uncertainty. I have thought a lot about this, about how my life will be with both of them, but its very difficult for me to break things with my long term boyfriend even though I have no romantic feelings for him from the past 3 years. There is 0 intimacy, neither emotional nor physical. But I do care for him. I do want him in my life, whether as a husband or otherwise. I feel the way he takes care of me and thinks about me, no one else will. But the thing is I don't actually "feel" for him anything, nor do I miss him as much, we don't talk the way we used to , there's a detachment. We are in long distance and are in such different fields that we never probably will live closer location wise. There's financial disparity. I earn almost thrice as him but we probably are okay with this. We both are aware of all these problems and are still ready to marry with the "hope" that things will eventually be okay. On the other hand, the guy I met in 2021- he has a good career and location wise, we are in long distance too but way better placed and in near future, his job location might be very flexible. He earns more but has huge family obligations as his family including his two brothers are not very well off. I have probably made peace with it when I thought about considering him for marriage. I love him and we have great emotional intimacy . I feel so calm and happy around him. It's like a festival when he is around me. He too loves me a lot and is ready to take efforts to make our marriage possible given the family and caste differences. I am really very disturbed and unable to decide whether I should break the marriage as if things don't improve after marriage, I will regret it always. Preparations have started slightly and it would be a big step now. Should I just forget about the 2021 guy and marry my long term boyfriend in November hoping that things will fall in place..or.. What should I do! My long term boyfriend has also lost feelings for me but he still cares for me and he says if we work for our relationship, things will be good post marriage
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It sounds like a difficult decision to make. But one simple thing is that you should never commit for a lifetime to a person you do not feel for; that does not mean I am asking you to leave him right away and marry the other guy. That means, you can have an open talk with your long-term BF. Tell him how you feel and let him clarify his feelings too. You can postpone the wedding to sort things out first- and think hard whether both of you want to get married at all.
Leaving one does not equate to choosing another. Choose yourself first; your happiness. You can never be happy in a relationship when you are of two minds. Please don't rush to get married to either of them.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |1170 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Apr 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
Considering the current market conditions, I'm trying to decide whether it's wiser to invest in real estate or to continue investing in mutual funds. I already have some experience with mutual funds and have seen moderate returns, but I'm also attracted to the idea of owning a tangible asset like property, which could offer appreciation and rental income. I want to understand which option real estate or mutual funds is likely to offer better returns over the next 5 to 10 years, especially given the current economic environment, interest rates, inflation trends, and market volatility. How do factors like liquidity, maintenance, taxes, and risk compare between the two? Should I shift some of my investments into real estate for diversification, or is it more prudent to stay invested in mutual funds and possibly increase SIP contributions? I'm looking for a long-term strategy that helps with both capital growth and financial security.
Ans: Hello;

It is difficult to give an advice without knowing specifics of the case.

I would ideally recommend to include both in your portfolio but if it has to be a choice between the two, I would recommend real estate, as a general advice.

Liquidity, Maintenance, property tax are hassles and costs in real estate but asset price and monthly rentals are generally flat or headed northwards over time unless it is some odd case.

MFs holdings are highly liquid, No maintenance charges and efficient tax treatment. But it is subject to market vagaries.

Consult an investment advisor or a certified financial planner to seek more clarity and firm up your decision.

Best wishes;

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4421 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2025Hindi
Listen
Career
i got 86.02 percentile in jee mains, i am under SC category from WEST BENGAL. can i get NIT DURGAPUR CSE BRANCH or any other branch
Ans: Here is, How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4421 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2025Hindi
Listen
Career
What are the chances to get admission for my son in NIT Trichy or Surathkal or Warangal if he gets around 149 marks in the Apr session of JEE mains 2025. We are from general category & would like to pursue for either Data Science or Electronics of Chemical Engineering. If not these institutes what are the chances for other govt institutes.
Ans: Here is, How to Predict Your Son's Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Son's Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect His Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

His JEE Main percentile
His category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
His Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
His Preferred locations (or if he is open to any location in India)
List of at least his 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If he is open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select His Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches he is interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your Son's admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4421 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 13, 2025

Listen
Career
My son got 94.56 percentage in jee mains in OBC category.he passed 12th delhi school.his residency in gurugram haryana.which college he can gwt
Ans: Here is, How to Predict Your Son's Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Son's Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect His Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

His JEE Main percentile
His category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
His Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
His Preferred locations (or if he is open to any location in India)
List of at least his 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If he is open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select His Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches he is interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your Son's admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |1170 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Apr 13, 2025

Listen
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8227 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2025Hindi
Money
I've recently lost my job and I'm in the process of looking for new opportunities. While I manage my job search, I'm also facing a situation where my father is in the hospital, and I need to manage both my finances and care for him. I have some savings, but I'm unsure how to balance my financial needs with the hospital expenses and ongoing bills. How can I manage my finances in the short term while looking for a job and dealing with hospital-related costs? Should I use my emergency fund for these expenses, or should I prioritize keeping that fund intact for more severe emergencies? I'm concerned that if I use too much of my savings, I may not be able to cover my basic living expenses if the job search takes longer than expected.
Ans: I’m truly sorry to hear about your current situation. It is tough to manage job loss and a family medical emergency at the same time. You’re showing great strength by trying to plan wisely. Let us now work through this together, step by step, with a simple and balanced plan.

Let’s focus on protecting your savings, handling current bills, and preparing for the next 3–6 months with a calm approach.

?

Review All Financial Resources First

• List your current savings, emergency fund, and other funds in bank accounts.

?

• Note all monthly expenses like rent, groceries, bills, and hospital costs.

?

• If you have any fixed deposits or investments, mark which ones can be broken easily without penalty.

?

• Avoid withdrawing from long-term mutual funds unless there is no other option.

?

• Create a written note of how long your money will last without any income.

?

Emergency Fund: Yes, Use It – But Mindfully

• Emergency fund is made for times like this. You can use it now.

?

• Use it first for medical and basic monthly needs only.

?

• Avoid spending it on non-essential expenses or lifestyle extras.

?

• Try to keep at least 1–2 months’ worth of expenses in reserve even now.

?

• You can refill this fund later once you are employed again.

?

Cut Down on Non-Essential Spending

• Pause or reduce spending on entertainment, subscriptions, and non-urgent items.

?

• Avoid buying anything on EMI or credit during this phase.

?

• Inform your family gently about the need to cut back temporarily.

?

• Cook at home, reduce travel, and delay purchases like gadgets or clothes.

?

Talk to Hospital About Payment Options

• Some hospitals allow part payments or give discounts for cash or insurance claims.

?

• Ask them clearly if any help is available for people in financial stress.

?

• If your father has any insurance cover, submit all bills properly.

?

• If any relatives can support temporarily, accept it as a short-term help.

?

Temporarily Pause Long-Term Investments

• If you have SIPs or recurring investments running, consider pausing for now.

?

• Most SIPs allow you to stop for a few months without penalty.

?

• It is better to pause SIPs than to take a loan or credit card advance.

?

• You can restart all investments later once income restarts.

?

Prioritise Monthly Essentials First

• Make a list of top priority expenses – rent, groceries, electricity, transport, medicines.

?

• Pay these without delay.

?

• Delay or reduce less-important expenses like personal shopping, dining out, or travel.

?

• If any credit card bills are due, pay minimum amount to avoid penalty.

?

Job Search: Stay Active But Calm

• Spend at least 3–4 hours daily on job search and networking.

?

• Update your resume, contact ex-colleagues, register on portals.

?

• Tell friends and well-wishers that you're open to short-term freelance work too.

?

• Any side income like part-time teaching, writing, or consulting will reduce pressure.

Plan For 3 Months, Then Review

• Make a plan for the next 3 months based on the funds you have now.

?

• List expected income (even if zero), known expenses, and gaps.

?

• Revisit your plan monthly and adjust as the situation changes.

?

• Keep written records of expenses. This will help you manage better.

?

Avoid Taking Personal Loans or Credit Advances

• This is not a good time to take a new loan.

?

• Personal loans or credit card EMIs will add stress later.

?

• Use your own cash reserves or ask for trusted family help before using credit.

?

Once Job Resumes, Rebuild Step by Step

• Start rebuilding your emergency fund first.

?

• Then restart your paused SIPs.

?

• Set small financial goals like clearing any dues or saving for 1 month’s expenses.

?

• Slowly get back to normal pace without rushing.

?

Emotionally Stay Stable and Rest When Needed

• This is a tough phase but it will pass.

?

• Take help from friends, counsellors or support groups if stress gets heavy.

?

• Take care of your health, sleep, and food. You need energy now.

?

• Talk to your child simply and gently. Kids understand more than we think.

?

Finally

You’re already doing the right thing – asking for help and planning ahead.

?

This phase will test your strength but also show your courage.

?

Use the emergency fund wisely. Cut extra expenses.

?

Pause investments, keep job search active, and stay calm.

?

Even small income during this time will help manage better.

?

Once the job returns, you can rebuild everything with more clarity.

?

You are not alone. Take support wherever you find it.

?

Your family is lucky to have you managing so carefully and wisely.

?

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8227 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2025Hindi
Money
I plan to buy a property in the next 3 years, either for personal use or investment. I currently save 20,000 per month and have RS 5,00,000 saved up for the down payment and related costs (registration, taxes, interiors, etc.). Given the current market conditions, should I keep my savings in low-risk options like a high-interest savings account or fixed deposits, or should I invest in mutual funds or debt funds for higher returns? How should I balance safety and growth? Also, how much should I budget for the additional costs involved in buying property? With other financial responsibilities (like a home loan EMI of Rs 30,000 and child education expenses), how can I prioritize saving for this property while managing everything else? Lastly, should I plan for future property-related expenses like maintenance once I buy the property?
Ans: Your clarity of thought and saving habit of Rs 20,000 per month is a big strength. You already saved Rs 5,00,000 for the down payment, which is a good head start. Let’s now create a clear and simple 360-degree plan to help you buy the property while handling all other financial priorities.

Let us now understand where to park your savings, how to budget for additional costs, how to balance EMI and education, and how to plan for future property expenses.

Below is a detailed, structured, and simplified guide.

Saving for Down Payment: Safety Is Key

You plan to buy the property in 3 years. This makes your goal short-term.

So, your priority must be safety. Not return.

Return is secondary for short-term goals. Capital protection is more important.

That’s why equity mutual funds are not suitable here. They are risky in the short term.

Even debt funds are not fully safe if you are not choosing the right type.

Below are suitable options:

Keep your Rs 5,00,000 in a high-interest savings account. Choose an account from a safe and reputed private or PSU bank.

Fixed deposit with a 2–3-year horizon is also good. Prefer banks over NBFCs.

You may use a low-duration debt mutual fund or short-term debt fund. Only if you are ok with small fluctuations.

Avoid aggressive hybrid, equity savings funds or arbitrage funds. These are not ideal for 3-year goals.

Don’t invest in index funds or ETFs for short-term goals. They don’t give downside protection.

If you use debt mutual funds, understand the new tax rule. Gains will be taxed as per your income slab.

A combination of FD and short-term debt fund can give better liquidity.

If you prefer mutual funds, go for regular plans through a MFD with CFP credential. They can help you monitor the risk better.

Budgeting for Property: Include All Costs

Most buyers only plan for down payment. But that is only one part.

There are many hidden or semi-visible expenses. Please plan for them now.

Let us see what they are:

Stamp duty and registration charges. This can be 7% to 10% of property cost.

Interiors and furniture. Even basic furnishing can cost 10% of property price.

Brokerage and lawyer fees. If applicable, can go up to 1% or more.

Advance society maintenance and deposits. Usually required for new apartments.

GST on under-construction property. This is 5% without input credit.

Home insurance. One-time premium if you want to cover structure damage.

Parking space charges and clubhouse deposit. Often missed in budgeting.

Shifting and set-up costs. For appliances, curtains, installation, etc.

So please add 15% to 20% of property value as “extra costs”. Keep this buffer aside.

Your current Rs 5,00,000 may not be enough for all these. But you still have 36 months.

So, saving Rs 20,000 monthly with this goal in mind is a smart step.

Also, don’t use mutual fund SIPs for these costs. It can fluctuate when you need it.

Balancing EMI and Education While Saving for Property

Right now, you have an EMI of Rs 30,000 and child education expenses.

You also save Rs 20,000 monthly. Let’s now look at how to balance all three.

Don’t stop your Rs 20,000 saving. This is the key to meeting your 3-year goal.

You may increase your savings by Rs 5,000 to Rs 10,000, if income grows.

Use a separate bank account for this property goal. So you don’t mix other needs.

Try to prepay EMI partly once or twice a year. It reduces long-term interest burden.

If you expect large expenses for your child (school fee, coaching), plan those in advance.

Avoid taking another loan for interiors or registration. That can stretch your EMI limit.

Keep at least 3–4 months EMI as emergency reserve. Don’t touch this fund.

If possible, keep your child’s education funding in a different SIP. Don’t mix with this.

Don’t redeem long-term investments like equity mutual funds for this property. It affects future goals.

Plan for Future Property Expenses

Once you buy the house, expenses don’t stop there. Many people forget this.

These costs can affect your budget if not planned early.

Society maintenance charges. Can be Rs 2,000 to Rs 8,000 monthly depending on size and location.

Annual property tax to municipality. Must be paid every year.

Repairs and painting. Especially after 3–5 years of possession.

Appliances breakdown or upgrade. Geysers, AC, filters, etc.

Rent loss if you are not using it and it remains vacant.

Loan insurance premium if you take credit life insurance.

You may also pay for security deposit if giving on rent.

These are all recurring. So your cash flow must be ready for them.

Try to start a small SIP of Rs 2,000 to Rs 3,000 for these future expenses.

Choose a low-risk hybrid or ultra-short fund. Withdraw only when needed.

Also, keep an annual reminder to review these expenses.

How to Prioritise This Goal Among Many

When you have multiple responsibilities, planning becomes more important.

The key is to assign a specific goal to each fund.

Let us prioritise together:

Continue Rs 20,000 monthly savings only for property down payment.

Do not use emergency funds for property.

Maintain 6 months of expenses in a separate liquid fund or savings account.

Keep child education in a separate SIP or PPF. Don’t mix it with home savings.

Do not stop EMI payment or delay it. Your credit score may suffer.

Avoid loans for furniture and interiors. Save slowly and spend only what you saved.

Keep your insurance premiums paid on time. Don’t miss them.

Use bonuses or gifts to increase savings for the property goal.

Try to control lifestyle inflation during this 3-year period. It helps a lot.

What Happens If Property Price Goes Up?

There is a chance prices may rise in 3 years.

You must be prepared in two ways.

Increase monthly savings gradually every year. Even Rs 2,000 more can help.

If prices rise sharply, consider a smaller house. Don’t stretch your loan too much.

Do not compromise on education and long-term goals for a house.

Stay disciplined. Don’t rush just because prices rise. Focus on value, not fear.

Should You Buy for Investment or Use?

You are unsure if it will be for personal use or investment.

Let us clarify this point as it changes planning:

If for personal use, prioritise location, safety, commute, and nearby schools.

If for investment, do a rental yield check. Don’t expect high appreciation.

Real estate investment has hidden costs, poor liquidity, and irregular returns.

If not planning to live there for 7+ years, rethink buying. Renting may be cheaper.

Don’t buy just because others are buying. Make the decision fully based on utility.

Your priority must be comfort, not return, if it’s for staying.

Also remember property can’t be sold quickly if needed. So, plan cash needs carefully.

Don’t over-borrow. Loan EMI + child education must not cross 50% of your income.

Finally

You are thinking ahead. That is already a strong foundation.

Your saving habit, EMI discipline, and clear goal are all positive points.

By keeping your Rs 5,00,000 in low-risk instruments, and adding Rs 20,000 monthly, you are on track.

Please avoid risky products for this goal.

Also, budget for all visible and hidden property costs.

Balance EMI, education and savings with simple, consistent steps.

Keep property-related expenses and long-term goals separate.

Review your plan every 6 months.

A Certified Financial Planner can help you align all your goals peacefully.

Stay patient, stay focused, and protect your peace of mind.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x