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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1807 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 11, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi ma'am, thank you so much for helping people with your answers. My question Im 27, F I met a guy through arranged marrage proposal, initially was not very ok because of which I postponed telling my decision for 2 weeks. Then we both spoke and i said yes, next week he called my father and said he is looking to get married to someone who is financially rich, I was totally taken back because when he spoke he seemed very genuine and promising i called and spoke to him he says he is still in growing state so he needs some financial aid from his inlaws, i said I have a job I can support him, he said give me a weeks time to decide, next week he called me and said he is ok with the marriage in the ground that I will work and support, I SAID HIM PLS ALLOW ME SOMETIME TO DECIDE, AS THIS IS NOt SCHOOL, COLLEGE OR JOB DECISIONS. When I called after 1 week he is not taking my calls, by my sentance i meant school, college or job can be left if not interested but marriage is not like that. Am wondering if he understood this as what if this girl has multiple relationship in school/college/job... And am assuming he did not take my call for this statement of mine? Please help me come out of this confusion, are my words very stupid? My family is scolded and blaming me because I delayed it for 2 week.. Mentally exhausted with all the arranged marriage rejection...and is it worth to get married at 27?? Awaiting for your answers

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am glad that he is out of this equation...
Which mature man will act the way that he did simply because you requested for time? And then now, you are wondering if it was your fault?
What sort of condition was that about wanting financial aid from his future in-laws? A marriage under any condition will not work as it depends on things external. Where is the time to build trust and love when there are superficial conditions present?
You have not been rejected, you have rescued yourself from a relationship with an immature man. So, pat yourself in the back and value yourself first.
The right person who will appreciate you will come along...start to appreciate yourself...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |190 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Mam, I wanted to keep it anonymous. I am 26years old female, my parents are looking for a suitable alliance for me. They came with a proposal from a guy's family and they wanted to have a formal meet in a temple. We all met in the temple the guy's family looked good they talked in a nice manner myself and the guy had a seperate conversation. Before going his parents told that he is an introvert and wont speak much. while we went to talk i was the one asking him questions and he only replied for that and inturn asked me the same question. I am an extrovert so i did the most of the talking part i didnt wanted to make the convo boring without answering anything so i was coming up with new questions. We spoke for around 10-15mins and then went to the place where our parents were sitting, his parents asked me to tell the answer immediately but i told them that i will tell the decision once i reach home. His parnets talked to him seperately and asked him the decision and he said yes it seems. We left the temple then, after two days when my parents asked me what was my decision i told them that though he is a nice guy i cant see him as my partner and if were to marry him that would be for your happiness i will not be able to marry him whole heartedly was my answer, then my parents spoke to his parents and told that if you want to talk to him again meet him somewhere and then talk and decide. I thought okay lets give it a try and said yes, we met after a week in a cafe. He initially asked me about my work and then i asked the same after that again he didnt speak much, i always wanted my partner to speak and have fun conversation with me. Though its our second meet i wanted him to atleast talk little bit that the first one but he didnt do much talking part. I was again talking and we left after 30mins. My parents were trying to convince me a lot, i told them that my intuition doesn't work with this guy(I am firm believer of intuition i have been doing things based on my intuition only) but my parents were trying to convince me telling you dont know what you want we will only know what you want, you will be happy if you marry this guy. But my soul doesnt want to marry this guy it seems im not able to accept my parents convincing words. If i were to marry him that will only be my parents choice and not my choice. What should i do now?
Ans: Well, this conversation requires a discussion - but I will attempt responding based on what you have shared. You should know introverts take time in opening up...and that should be respected. Its possible when you know each other, he may still not open up with others, but with you he is talkative. What is bothersome here is you intuition, your 6th sense - which makes you uncomfortable - question it, why do you think that is the case. If I was in a similar situation I would have asked to meet this gentleman 3-4 times more - and would observe more and talk less :)....maybe listen more and ask fewer questions. If you do meet him ask him what is making him say yes. Let him know that it bothers you that he responds in short sentences. But after that play games together - from board games to games like 3 things you wish to have in your partner to 3 qualities you wish you partner works upon. You need to answer this as well. Ask him his 3 strengths and share yours, share personality traits you need to work on and ask his.....keep the conversations light and fun....and then question your intuition again...and if it does not agree then do what works for you. Make parents sit down and explain it to them without getting emotional or raising your voice. Hope this helps.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 29, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Around 2022, I got a marriage proposal from a mutual acquaintance of a guy who us also known to my family . At that time I was in a relationship with someone else so my family told that I am currently focusing on my studies . But recently , I am single and saw his account on social media . We started chatting with each other and I realised that we are conpatible in many aspects . But after some days ... my mother started pressuring me that they will start to see marriage prospects for me. Also I felt that he also feels the same for me because how he talked to me... So out of pressure ,I asked him and told about my feelings for him and told why it will be profitable if we consider ourselves as a couple .He told that he has a lot of pressure from his family to settle for a well paying job (though he is working in a private company)and also wants to focus on his passion too. Also he had brojen his heart 2 times. Although he assured that he is not saying no and also he would think over this proposal and would give me an answer . But the next day I saw he blocked me from social media . I would have appreciated if he had an open communication with me as I had the same . Btw now he is 27 and I am 23 .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am very sorry to hear that you had to go through this. Some people do not have the emotional maturity to say a simple no or speak their truth. He might not have wanted to make things awkward or thought he was sparing you some pain but ultimately that isn't the case. But the important thing to remember here is that his action reflects on him and what kind of a person he is; it does not highlight your worth. I know it hurts right now, but it will get better and you will find someone who loves you.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 06, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I'm 31yrs old lady from India, my parents are searching for marriage proposals for me since 4yrs, but due to numerous reasons like different career or dowry or my appearance, none were successful. And I din invest my time in knowing about the past proposals personally. However, recently my parents came to me with a proposal- guy settled abroad and told me he will talk to me. Before I tell yes I researched about how I can relocate to the place where he is by contacting the different institutions from his place as our both career fields were totally different I knew he won't be on much help if I have to get job aftr marriage at his place in abroad. In the meantime, he had texted me, whenever he texts it will be on weekends..and first time when he texted I had replied 2hrs late bcz of our different time frame in our locations. But after i replied his message came aftr few hours telling he is not well so he will call later. So his next text was a week later on weekend. That day since I was busy for half a day, we spoke aftr my work. The call lasted for 30min with basic Convo about our job, hobbies, culture at his place etc. and the call ended with him telling we shall talk again and he ll inform his parents abt our talk. It was voice call, we saw each other only in photos. So I waited again for a week for his call or text but I was told by my dad that his dad informed that they won't proceed further. Now, here I am invested my talk and thoughts for nearly 3-4weeks and thinking abt my future with him, in addition I liked the guy because of his politeness and understanding nature and was hoping for this proposal to work. Now, even aftr a month of this rejection, I am still hoping for a miracle to happen and he comes back to my life. I am hoping he can try to understand me better before telling no. I want to know the reason for his rejection too. I have the urge to reach out to him, text him and ask his reasons and to ask if there is any chance to change it to yes. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand it must be confusing- you spoke to him and from your perspective, things went smoothly and yet they dropped the proposal abruptly. But here’s the catch- it might not have been the same experience for him. As you mentioned, you had basic conversations; is it possible that he was hoping to connect with you more in the three weeks’ time? We can’t say for sure what was the reason, but one thing I can tell you is that you deserve someone who does not need convincing to marry you. I know you were invested in him, but it is much better to lose those three weeks than settle for a marriage where both partners are not on the same page. Please understand your worth. I can’t stop you from contacting him or asking them what went wrong, but I can certainly advise you against it. You will get better alliances. Also, I want you to understand that you are only 31; you are still so young. Do not settle for anything less than the one who's best for you!

Best Wishes.

..Read more

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Komal Jethmalani  |484 Answers  |Ask -

Dietician, Diabetes Expert - Answered on Aug 10, 2026

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11374 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 10, 2026

Money
Regarding For Health Insurance And Term Insurance Me Age 31 Wife Age 24 Son Age 3 Mom AGE 50 DAD Age 55 Please Suggust Good Health Insurance Please Suggust Term Insurance Also For me Thanks Please Sugg
Ans: You are starting insurance planning at the right age. At 31, term insurance is usually much cheaper than later.

» Health Insurance

I would not put everyone into one common policy.

A practical structure would be:

– You, wife and son: family floater policy.
– Mother and father: separate senior-age health policies.
– Avoid mixing parents with your young family.
– Consider a strong base cover with a suitable super top-up.
– Check room-rent limits, co-payment and disease waiting periods.
– Check the insurer network near your residence.
– Check claim settlement process and policy exclusions.

For your parents, premiums can be much higher at ages 50 and 55.
So compare plans carefully before selecting one.

» Your Term Insurance

At age 31, term insurance is important because your wife and son depend on your income.

The required cover should consider:

– Your current income.
– Outstanding loans, if any.
– Child education.
– Family living expenses.
– Future financial responsibilities.

As a broad starting point, a Rs.1.5 crore to Rs.2 crore cover can be evaluated.

The policy should ideally continue until your major financial responsibilities reduce.

Choose pure term insurance only.

Avoid combining insurance with investment products.

» Important Point

Health insurance and term insurance serve different purposes.

Health insurance protects your savings from medical expenses.

Term insurance protects your family from loss of income.

Both should be treated as protection, not investment.

» Before Choosing Any Policy

Please compare:

– Claim settlement terms
– Waiting periods
– Permanent exclusions
– Co-payment conditions
– Room-rent restrictions
– Restoration benefits
– Lifetime renewal
– Network hospitals
– Premium increases
– Policy wording

Do not select only because the premium is lowest.

» Final Insights

Your young family needs a good health cover and adequate term cover.

Keep your parents separately insured.

For you, evaluate Rs.1.5 crore to Rs.2 crore term cover.

For health insurance, the exact recommendation needs your city and budget.

Also, disclose all existing medical conditions honestly while purchasing.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11374 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 10, 2026

Money
Hi Sir, i am a Accountant, i am married , i have one kid with age of 3, now i am planing to Reshape my Mutual Fund Protfolio, could you advice is this correct. Now My AGE 31 I am planing until my Age 40 and After 5 Year 1 Start to SWP From That Funds 1 . parag parik flexicap fund - Monthly 6K 2 . zerodha nifty large & Mid 250 elss fund - Monthly 4K 3 . Motilal Oswal Mid cap - Monthly 3K 4. Banthan Small Cap - Monthly 2K 5 . Nippon India Gold Saving Fund - 2 K NOTE : Every Year 10% Increse SIP Amount total 10 Year Horizon and i need money from after 5 Year I start SWP can i go long term this funds or need to rebalance
Ans: You have started quite early, which is a big advantage. At age 31, your long-term compounding period is strong. Your 10% annual SIP increase is also a very good habit.

» Your Present Strategy

Your total monthly SIP is Rs.17,000.

The broad allocation is:

– Flexi-cap: Rs.6,000
– Large and mid-cap index: Rs.4,000
– Mid-cap: Rs.3,000
– Small-cap: Rs.2,000
– Gold: Rs.2,000

The allocation is reasonably diversified.

But one important issue needs attention.

You want to start SWP after only 5 years.

Five years is not a very long period for an equity-heavy portfolio.

» Main Concern With The Five-Year SWP

If you definitely need money after five years, do not keep the entire corpus in equity.

Markets can fall sharply around your SWP starting date.

This can force you to sell units at low prices.

A better approach is goal-based investing.

– Years 1 to 3: Equity can have a larger role.
– Around year 4: Start reducing risk for the required amount.
– By year 5: Keep the next few years SWP requirement in safer assets.
– Let the remaining long-term money stay invested for growth.

This can make your SWP much more comfortable.

» About The Large And Mid-Cap Index Fund

This is the part I would reconsider.

An index fund simply follows its chosen index.

It does not actively select companies based on changing business conditions.

It also cannot avoid a company merely because its future outlook has weakened.

An actively managed fund gives the fund manager flexibility.

The manager can change stocks based on valuations, earnings and business quality.

Since you are planning long-term wealth creation, active management can be useful.

I would therefore review this allocation and consider an actively managed diversified category instead.

» Mid-Cap And Small-Cap Exposure

Having both mid-cap and small-cap exposure can help long-term growth.

But these categories can fluctuate heavily.

Since you want money after five years, do not increase these allocations aggressively.

Your 10% annual SIP increase is good.

But future increases should not automatically go into small-cap funds.

» Gold Allocation

Your Rs.2,000 monthly gold allocation is reasonable.

Gold can provide diversification.

It can also help during periods of equity market stress.

I would keep gold as a supporting allocation, not the main growth component.

» Should You Continue These Funds For Ten Years?

The investment horizon and withdrawal horizon are different.

You can continue investing for 10 years.

But if money is required from year 5, that portion needs separate planning.

Do not assume that every fund must be held unchanged for ten years.

Review the portfolio once every year.

Fund selection, allocation and your financial goals can change over time.

» How I Would Reshape It

I would keep the portfolio simpler.

– One strong diversified equity fund as the core.
– One mid-cap allocation for additional growth.
– Limited small-cap exposure.
– A modest gold allocation.
– Avoid unnecessary duplication.
– Replace the index allocation with a suitable actively managed category.
– Create a separate safer bucket for the five-year requirement.

You do not need many funds to build wealth.

» Your 10% SIP Increase

Please continue this habit.

It can become more important than selecting the perfect fund.

Whenever your salary increases:

– Increase SIPs first.
– Maintain your emergency fund.
– Increase investments towards your childs future.
– Avoid increasing lifestyle expenses at the same speed.

Your child is only 3 years old.

You have a very good time horizon for that goal.

» SWP Planning

Do not start SWP merely because five years are completed.

Start SWP when the money is actually required.

Before starting SWP:

– Identify the required monthly amount.
– Keep near-term withdrawals in safer assets.
– Keep long-term money invested for growth.
– Review the withdrawal rate every year.
– Rebalance when equity exposure becomes too high.

This approach can protect the portfolio from unnecessary selling during market falls.

» Regular Funds Through MFD

Since you are planning a long-term portfolio, consider investing through an AMFI-registered MFD.

Regular funds can provide ongoing portfolio support.

You also get help with reviews, rebalancing and goal planning.

Direct investing can work for disciplined investors who manage everything themselves.

But many investors change funds based on recent performance.

An MFD can help maintain discipline through market cycles.

» Final Insights

Your basic portfolio structure is good.

The main correction is your five-year SWP plan.

Do not keep the entire portfolio equity-oriented until the SWP starts.

Also review the index allocation.

I would prefer a simpler actively managed portfolio with clear roles.

Continue the 10% annual SIP increase.

Most importantly, separate your five-year requirement from your long-term wealth.

With 10+ years of disciplined investing, you have a strong opportunity to build meaningful wealth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11374 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 09, 2026

Money
Sir I have nearly 35 MF scheme. I have 4 Manu facturing fund. Axis mau facturing fund.. Canara Robecco Manu. fund G(SIP2000) Invesco Manufacturing fund G(SIP 2000 PM ). ICICI Manufacturing fund G Advise how to cut down or exit and invest in other fund continuing only one preferably ICICI. Then I have following non performing Funds Axis consumption fund G regular Hdfc Multcap Fund G regular Hdfc Multcap 50/25/25Index fund Direct Hdfc Tech. Fund D Growth Hsbc India Export Indis export Opp. D Growth ICICI opp. Fund D Growth SUNDARAM mutiasst allocation fund R . G SIP TATA NIFTY AUTO INDEX FUNDNIFTY G DIR. TATA NIFTY IND. TOURISM INDEX FUND G DIR. Above mentioned funds not performing. Your advise whether to and reinvest in an alternative fund. Overlaping funds ICICI prudential energy opportunities fund D SIP GROWTH SBI ENERGY OPP. FUND D. GROWTH 2) FRANKLIN IND. FLEXI CAP FUND R G. 20 UNIT HDFC FLEXICAP FUND R. G. 25 UNIT ICICI PRUDENTIAL FLEXI CAP R. G 3000 Unit TATA mid cap fund R. G. 175 unit UTI MID CAP FUND R. G. 200 Unit HDFC MID CAP FUND R G 250 UNIT Request detailed scrutiny and how to minimise. Besides l have following funds performing well Aditya Birla Sun Life focused fund HDFC Defence fund HDFC PHARMA FUND HDFC TRANSPORTATION FUND HSBC VALUE FUND HSBC ELSS FUND ICICI PRU.PHRMA & HEALTHCARE FUND UTI NIFTY 500 VALUE INDEX FUND I am 82 years old. No liability . Other investments like PPF BANK FD GOLD ANCESTRAL LAND PM ANNUITY PLAN RENT 15 LAKH health insurance. Equities of 5 lakhs Expenses very basic. Would like to re invest. for better returns. Waiting for your early reply. Your 's sincerely ..... ... V. G. Nadig
Ans: You have built substantial financial assets and, importantly, you have no liabilities. At age 82, the priority should now be simplicity, safety, liquidity and reasonable growth. Having nearly 35 mutual fund schemes is unnecessarily high.

» First Priority

– Reduce the MF portfolio substantially.
– Avoid managing many sector and thematic funds.
– Avoid keeping funds only because they performed well recently.
– Keep a smaller number of diversified funds.
– Keep sufficient money in safer assets for your regular needs.

At your age, chasing maximum returns is not necessary.

» Manufacturing Funds

You currently have four manufacturing funds:

– Axis Manufacturing
– Canara Robeco Manufacturing
– Invesco Manufacturing
– ICICI Prudential Manufacturing

There is considerable overlap in this allocation.

I would not keep four manufacturing funds.

If you have a strong preference for the ICICI Prudential Manufacturing Fund, keeping one manufacturing fund can be considered.

The other three can be reviewed for exit and consolidation.

However, do not switch all four on one day blindly. Check capital gains and exit loads first.

» Funds You Mentioned As Non-Performing

You mentioned:

– Axis Consumption
– HDFC Multicap
– HDFC Multicap 50/25/25 Index
– HDFC Technology
– HSBC India Export Opportunities
– ICICI Prudential Opportunities
– Sundaram Multi Asset Allocation
– Tata Nifty Auto Index
– Tata Nifty India Tourism Index

I would not judge these funds only by recent returns.

Some are sector, thematic or index-oriented funds.

They can have long periods of underperformance.

For an 82-year-old investor, I would reduce such complexity.

The index-oriented funds especially do not need to be retained simply for diversification.

» Energy Fund Overlap

You have exposure to:

– ICICI Prudential Energy Opportunities
– SBI Energy Opportunities

There is no strong need to hold two funds in the same sector.

Keep only one if you want sector exposure.

But given your age, even this allocation should remain limited.

» Flexi Cap Overlap

You currently have:

– Franklin India Flexi Cap
– HDFC Flexi Cap
– ICICI Prudential Flexi Cap

This is another clear area for consolidation.

Three flexi-cap funds are unnecessary.

You can retain one suitable flexi-cap fund.

The remaining two can gradually be consolidated after checking taxation and exit loads.

» Mid Cap Overlap

You have:

– Tata Mid Cap
– UTI Mid Cap
– HDFC Mid Cap

Again, three funds are not required.

Keep one suitable mid-cap fund if your overall portfolio needs this exposure.

However, at age 82, I would not maintain a large mid-cap allocation.

This money can be more useful in diversified and relatively stable investments.

» Funds Performing Well

You mentioned:

– Aditya Birla Sun Life Focused
– HDFC Defence
– HDFC Pharma
– HDFC Transportation
– HSBC Value
– HSBC ELSS
– ICICI Prudential Pharma & Healthcare
– UTI Nifty 500 Value Index

Good past performance alone should not decide whether you retain them.

You have multiple sector and thematic exposures here too.

For example, you already have two healthcare-oriented funds.

Defence and transportation are also thematic exposures.

I would reduce the number of such specialised funds.

» A Better Portfolio Structure

Your portfolio can be simplified into a few clear roles:

– Core diversified equity allocation
– Limited mid-cap allocation
– Limited thematic allocation, if required
– Suitable conservative allocation
– Adequate cash and fixed-income allocation

You do not need 35 schemes to achieve diversification.

Around 5 to 7 carefully selected funds can be more than sufficient.

» Very Important At Age 82

Your investment objective should now be different from that of a 40-year-old investor.

Capital preservation is important.

Liquidity is also very important.

You should have enough safe money for several years of expenses.

Equity should mainly serve the purpose of long-term inflation protection.

Do not put money required for near-term expenses into equity.

» About Reinvesting After Exit

I would not immediately reinvest every redemption into another equity fund.

First identify how much money you need for:

– Regular expenses
– Medical requirements
– Family support
– Emergency needs
– Future personal requirements

The remaining long-term surplus can then be invested.

This approach will make your portfolio much safer and easier to manage.

» Your Other Assets

Your FD, PPF, gold, ancestral land, annuity income and rental income provide additional diversification.

Your basic expenses are also low.

This is a positive position.

Therefore, there is no need to take excessive equity risk for higher returns.

» How I Would Approach The 35 Funds

Do it in three stages.

First, identify sector and thematic duplication.

Second, identify overlapping diversified categories.

Third, consolidate the portfolio gradually.

Do not sell everything together.

Review taxation and exit loads before each redemption.

The money released should then be allocated according to your income and liquidity requirements.

» Final Insights

You have done well in building a large and diversified investment base.

The main issue now is not lack of diversification.

It is excessive diversification.

35 schemes can make monitoring difficult and may create hidden overlap.

I would aim for a much simpler portfolio.

Your manufacturing, energy, flexi-cap and mid-cap holdings are the first areas I would consolidate.

I would also reduce excessive thematic exposure.

At 82, stability and peace of mind should come before chasing the highest possible return.

A detailed scheme-wise review would be useful before redeeming anything. It should consider current value, purchase value, gains, taxation, SIP status and exit load for every scheme.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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