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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on May 27, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Gayathri Question by Gayathri on May 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

i got committed to a divorced person . will my parents accept?

Ans: Well, that is for you to answer if your parents will be fine with it or not. Divorce is a situation and not a label, the sooner we understand this the better it would be for all.

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Dear Expert, I am in a committed relationship with a divorced woman who has a 6-year-old daughter. We have known each other for six years and became deeply involved in relationship after her divorce, which was finalized a year ago. She is currently 23 years old and was married at the age of 14. She endured domestic harassment during her marriage, leading to a separation, and has been living apart from her ex-husband for the past four years before their legal divorce. Presently, she has no source of income and relies on her parents, who themselves face financial difficulties. Despite these challenges, we both wish to marry and build a life together. However, I am facing some concerns that I hope you can help me address: I am uncertain about how to approach my parents regarding our relationship, given her previous marriage, her young child, and her challenging circumstances. Her ex-husband is my colleague and is currently unaware of our relationship. I fear that he will react negatively, potentially tarnishing my and my family’s reputation among friends and relatives or even attempting to harass us in the future. I'm seeking your guidance on the following: 1. Is marrying her and embracing this responsibility a prudent decision, considering her past and the challenges we may face? 2. How can I effectively address her ex-husband's behavior and protect our relationship and my and family's reputation? 3. What strategies can I use to gain my parents' understanding, acceptance, and support? 4. How can we ensure a strong and healthy future together, considering the complexities of our situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Let me address your issues one by one
1. Is marrying her and embracing this responsibility a prudent decision, considering her past and the challenges we may face?
I can't tell if it is prudent but I don't see it to be a dangerous decision as well. Yes, I understand your concerns, but you have been with her for a long time now. You must have considered all of these concerns beforehand. But if you think you are not sure, I would suggest you don't keep her hanging with hope. Discuss the doubts and concerns directly with her.

2. How can I effectively address her ex-husband's behavior and protect our relationship and my and family's reputation?
Her previous marriage involved domestic harassment and that's how the relationship ended. You had no part in it. You came into the picture after their separation. Why should her husband have any say in her life after divorce? Be strict with him from the very beginning. As a part of courtesy, you can let him know that you are considering marrying his ex, but besides that, you owe him no explanation.

3. What strategies can I use to gain my parents' understanding, acceptance, and support?
Highlight the positives in your partner; let them know how happy she makes you and how much she means to you. Parents being unsupportive in such cases are very common, but with some persistent counseling from your end can make things work out in your favor.

4. How can we ensure a strong and healthy future together, considering the complexities of our situation?
The complexities of the situation don't necessarily have to play part in your future together. Let her move on from this past and if anything, you should help her move past this divorce and harassment instead of bringing that into the future. Yes, it is a part of who she is, but is so much more than just a divorcee and a very young mother; she is the person you fell for- there must be some solid reason for that. After all, you fell knowing all the complexities. That makes her even more special. All you have to do is remember those.

Hope this helps.

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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |63 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Apr 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 18, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My relationship started Four years ago and everything was fine My parents accepted him but his mother started creating problems over small things He is Jain and I understand that it is difficult for them to accept someone from a non-vegetarian family However his mother told my father that my entire family should stop eating nonveg and said many hurtful things She also said that I should only wear suits and follow their rules I have always lived a comfortable life where I never had to do any household chores but his mother told my parents that I need to learn everything I come from a wealthy family while his family is average, and I am not sure if I can adjust to that lifestyle His mother created a lot of drama for two years and now suddenly she is ready to accept me But I am afraid she might go back to her old ways after marriage I have never had to worry about financial issues but I know things might change if I marry him He has also lied to me a few times and when my parents visited his home and business his father avoided showing anything and made excuses which made my family suspicious
Ans: Hello mam.
I understand that it feels strange when someone changes suddenly so much like you said the boy's mother's attitude changed and now she is ready to accept you. Marriage is a big decision and it does not work only with love. It needs many other practical things to work. Like many compromises from both side, finances, acceptance, trust and respect. Think as much as you want before marriage a d take a good decision but after marriage you cannot change the things so easily.
Take some more time and get information on their business, thier family reputation, their relatives and neighbours. Only then take a decision. And leave the things upto your parents. They are much more experienced and have a much more willingness to see you happy.
Take care !
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https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Hello sir... I got 86.7%ile in jee mains (CRL 196706, EWS rank 28516, girl) and secured 93..2% in my 12th Cbse board.I have haryana domicile and want to pursue btech in cse, it or ece. What are my chances of getting a good govt college and is there any chance in CSAB for NITs or IIITs ? Thankyou
Ans: Lavisha, With an EWS Home-State rank of 28,516, securing Computer Science seats via CSAB Special in premier NITs under Home-State EWS quotas is challenging, as CSE at NIT Kurukshetra closed near 8 198 for general HS and the EWS HS cutoff typically tracks within 25 000–35 000—just within reach. Electronics & Communication Engineering at Kurukshetra closed around HS?Open 9 692–15 127, with EWS HS often extending to 45 000–57 000, making ECE a viable target. In JoSAA 2025, IIIT Kota’s HS-EWS CSE cutoff was 39,410, which places your rank comfortably within the acceptable range. Beyond these, peripheral GFTIs such as CIT Kokrajhar (CSE up to ~150 500 CRL) and Assam University, Silchar (CSE ~75 981) admit EWS candidates with ranks well above 28 000. All these institutes meet AICTE/NIRF accreditation, maintain ≥70 percent placement consistency, feature modern labs, active MoUs for internships, and have outcome-based curricula.

Recommendation: CSAB offers special preferences for assured entry into Electronics & Communication Engineering at NIT Kurukshetra under HS-EWS, followed by listing CSE at IIIT Kota and CSE at peripheral GFTIs like CIT Kokrajhar and Assam University. Simultaneously, pursue Haryana state-counselling seats at PEC Kurukshetra and Deenbandhu Chhotu Ram University for core-branch safety. However, have 2-3 Private Engineering Colleges also as back ups with your JEE Score instead of relying only on CSAB. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

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BITS Goa EEE or NIT Calicut EEE
Ans: BITS Pilani K.K. Birla Goa Campus offers a B.E. in Electrical & Electronics Engineering with NAAC A+ accreditation and Institute of Eminence status. The program features modern infrastructure including specialized EEE laboratories, a Central Sophisticated Instrumentation Facility with advanced equipment like confocal microscope, FESEM, and Raman spectrometer, alongside comprehensive industry partnerships including Amazon Web Services and GitHub for startup support. The campus spans 180 acres with fully residential facilities and smart classrooms. NIT Calicut's B.Tech in Electrical & Electronics Engineering holds NBA accreditation for 6 years (2022-2028) under the stringent Tier-I evaluation scheme and is ranked 25th in NIRF Engineering rankings 2024. The institute achieved a remarkable 97.01% placement rate for EEE students in 2024, with 130 out of 134 registered students securing positions, demonstrating exceptional industry demand. Both institutions maintain essential benchmarks including statutory approvals, modern laboratory facilities, research-active faculty with doctoral qualifications, active industry Mships, and consistent placement support exceeding 75% over three years. BITS Goa commands higher fees of ?20.76 lakh for the complete program versus NIT Calicut's ?5 lakh, but offers unique Practice School programs ensuring 7+ months of industry experience. The BITS alumni network includes prominent entrepreneurs and unicorn founders, while NIT Calicut benefits from the extensive NIT Alumni Network spanning multiple countries.

Recommendation: Choose NIT Calicut's EEE for its exceptional 97% placement consistency, NBA Tier-I accreditation, cost-effectiveness at ?5 lakh fees, and strong government institute reputation with established industry connections. Consider BITS Goa's EEE if you prioritize unique Practice School industry exposure, Institute of Eminence status, entrepreneurial alumni network, and can afford the higher fee structure for comprehensive residential campus experience. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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