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Second Marriage Blues: How to Convince Parents?

Kanchan Rai |331 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 01, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2024Hindi

I'm in a relationship with a divorced man. After reaching about his past relationship I came to a conclusion that the divorce was not due to his mistake but now my parents are telling that they are ashamed of getting me married to him as it's his second marriage. Is there any solution to convey my parents and my I know the legal rules to getting married to a divorced man?

Ans: Addressing your parents' concerns about marrying a divorced man requires open communication and understanding. Start by having an honest conversation with them, explaining that you've carefully considered his past and believe the divorce was not his fault. Emphasize his positive qualities and how well he treats you.

Acknowledge their concerns about societal stigma, but gently challenge these perceptions. Highlight that successful second marriages are common and that his past does not define your future together. Encourage them to get to know him better, as personal interaction can help change their views.

Legally, there are generally no obstacles to marrying a divorced person, as long as his previous marriage is legally dissolved. Ensure all necessary paperwork, such as the final divorce decree, is in order. Consulting a lawyer can provide clarity and ensure all legal requirements are met.

By combining open communication, education, and personal engagement, you can help your parents see the strength of your relationship and work towards gaining their support.

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Anu Krishna |1160 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2022

Question by AS - Jan 04, 2022Hindi

Hi Ma’am. I’m having a problem with my parents about my marriage. I’ve been in a relationship for three years and I want to marry him. My parents are not agreeing as it is a society issue because it is an interstate and inter-caste marriage. I'm trying to convince my parents for that since long time but it's going nowhere and they are too stubborn to even meet him once. What can I do in this situation? How can I deal with their emotional drama as a parent-child relationship should not break because of these issues? Kindly advise me, Ma’am. AS

Ans:

Dear AS,

You need to focus on how you can marry the person you love and also have your parents support you.

Is this possible?

There is a chance only if you take them into complete confidence and appeal to their logic.

Many societies are still against inter-caste marriages and I am sure they have their reasons for it, just like your parents have strong reasons to oppose the marriage.

Have you tried to find out why they oppose it? Are they worried about how they will face your family members as this is a big thing across cultures in the world?

As their daughter, you have connections with them as well as the right to live your life your way. Bring in an elder member of the family and ask him/her to appeal on your behalf. If this doesn’t work, you might be forced to decide one way or the other.

Whatever you do, do it with conviction and maintain relationships along the way. It may be an uphill task but breathe, smile and live life.

All the best, Happy 2022!

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