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Second Marriage Blues: How to Convince Parents?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |463 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 01, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I'm in a relationship with a divorced man. After reaching about his past relationship I came to a conclusion that the divorce was not due to his mistake but now my parents are telling that they are ashamed of getting me married to him as it's his second marriage. Is there any solution to convey my parents and my I know the legal rules to getting married to a divorced man?

Ans: Addressing your parents' concerns about marrying a divorced man requires open communication and understanding. Start by having an honest conversation with them, explaining that you've carefully considered his past and believe the divorce was not his fault. Emphasize his positive qualities and how well he treats you.

Acknowledge their concerns about societal stigma, but gently challenge these perceptions. Highlight that successful second marriages are common and that his past does not define your future together. Encourage them to get to know him better, as personal interaction can help change their views.

Legally, there are generally no obstacles to marrying a divorced person, as long as his previous marriage is legally dissolved. Ensure all necessary paperwork, such as the final divorce decree, is in order. Consulting a lawyer can provide clarity and ensure all legal requirements are met.

By combining open communication, education, and personal engagement, you can help your parents see the strength of your relationship and work towards gaining their support.

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Asked by Anonymous - Aug 16, 2024Hindi
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Hello sir, I have been in relationship for 4 years, once my cousin elder caught me with my bf and told my parent. I told my parents that I wanted to get marry with him. But they denied. Due to my brother listening. Now it's been 4 years from that period. My bf is asking me for marriage. I wanted to convience my parents. But I m not able to tell them. And my Bf is less educated and I am employed graduate person. He works as a driver,but loves me a core. What shall I do to convience my parent. As Im of 25 years old and he is one year elder then me
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that you are in a challenging situation. If you want to convince your parents, the first thing is to acknowledge their concerns. It is normal for parents to be worried about their child's future. You mentioned your partner is comparatively less educated than you and works as a driver; while every profession is equally important and as long as he is honest and hardworking and puts food on the table, he is doing well, parents can find the financial situation a little concerning. Instead of avoiding or being defensive about these concerns, address them. Let them know how you plan on tackling these differences in your relationship. Emphasize his character, personality, and all the qualities that drew you to him. Tell them how you have been in a stable relationship for 4 years, despite all the odds. In today's day and age, that is a huge thing. Convincing them would also require you to show that you are mature enough to make this decision so have the discussion once you and your partner have a solid plan and have the nitty-gritty all sorted.

Be practical and do not expect them to be onboard immediately. They have your best interest at heart and you know that your situation isn't ideal. Give them time to come around. It might take some compromises as well.

In the end, I would also urge you to think this through before introducing the relationship to your parents. Marriage is a big decision. Ultimately, it's your happiness and life at stake. Don't rush.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1418 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I love my parents a lot & the same way is for them, but in my family there are people who might say ill words against my father if he agreed to my decision, its really been 5 years I am trying to convince my father and even my grandfather also convinced him, but still my father is on the same point that I will not let this happen & if you want to do you go ahead but you will never come back here. I know the love and worry he have for me but there are many people ( one pandit) out of nowhere they are coming and askiing me to leave the guy and get marrieg in same caste. How the rules are changed if they know that my relationship is now 16 yrs & now I am making a tough decision of getting court marriage done. But suggest me will there be any tiny hope where I can still ask my father to be on my side. Apart from that he agreed for cousin marrigae in same cast but he will not attend that marrirage for mine atleast he can give me blessing. I was a good bacha for him which really made him hurt and he didnt expected this from me, tell me how can i make them agree
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
16 years is a long time and I am sure that you have thought this through...It's possible that your father may come around someday...for now, it's time for you to take a decision to live life and take charge. You cannot force him to agree to anything and maybe address what his worries. Some of it may make sense and some of it may seem unnecessary. But ultimately he is a parent and wishes you well.
Address his concerns and if he still does not want to look at things differently, you know what you can do...So, take charge...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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How to finish home loan faster
Ans: Paying off your home loan early while building wealth requires strategic planning. A parallel SIP in equity mutual funds can complement your goal by leveraging market growth over the long term. Here's a detailed approach:

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Regularly review your loan outstanding and SIP performance.
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9. Focus on Financial Discipline
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Stick to a budget that prioritises both EMI payments and SIP contributions.
10. Plan for Surplus Investments
Channel any bonuses, tax refunds, or additional income into either SIPs or loan prepayments.
Small additional investments can significantly enhance your repayment capability.
Final Insights
Starting a parallel SIP in equity funds while paying regular EMIs creates a structured pathway to close your home loan early. Over time, the compounded growth from your SIP can ease the financial burden of a lump sum loan prepayment. This balanced strategy ensures financial growth and reduced debt simultaneously.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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