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He's perfect for me, but different: how do I convince my parents?

Ravi Mittal |583 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 24, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2025Hindi

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hi, i want an advice on how to convince my parents, i am in love with a guy who is very genuine, understands me completely, he accepts me and loves me with all my flaws. my parents are rejecting him because he earns a quite less and is a different cast. i have tried convincing them by saying that we both can live happily and lead a peaceful life. but my parents aren't accepting, kindly help

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry you are standing in such a tricky situation. First of all, I want to know if you have a job? If yes, would two people's salaries together provide a comfortable life? If not, do you think his salary alone will cut it in this economy?
I want you to ask yourself the same questions. If you do not have a job yet, I would urge you to try for one. Financial independence is extremely important, especially for women. Now, I cannot comment on the caste thing, because the seriousness of that differs from family to family, but if it is earning that is bothering your parents, you can wait a bit and aim for a higher-salaried job and pitch in the same idea. Or at least, show your parents that you and your parents are willing to put in the work. Their concerns about income are not completely baseless, because once life becomes uncomfortable, love can take a backseat. Focus on building a better career and then get married. Do this for yourself, and not just for your parents.
Hope this helps

Asked on - Mar 24, 2025 | Answered on Mar 25, 2025

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i do have a job, and paid higher but according to my parents they say women earning or not earning that doesn't matter but men has to earn more to survive, i had tried saying them we both can share our needs and thats what life is, but my parents are still fixed in old terms and conditions, i dont know how to convince them

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am glad you are financially independent. Sharing the financial burden of the family is both partner's duty, not men's alone. Just as doing house chores is not a woman's duty alone. Please try to make your parents understand that when burdens are shared between two people, it does not remain much of a burden anymore- you can try using the analogy of a bag; when we put the weight equally on both shoulders, it's much easier to carry than when the weight is put on one shoulder. Also try making them understand that even if you did not marry this guy, you would still like to take up at least half of the financial responsibility along with your partner. And in this relationship, all the responsibilities come along with deep love and respect for each other. I hope they slowly begin to understand your point. It will take time, but I am hopeful that they will understand you.

Best Wishes.