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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |70 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jul 03, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2025Hindi
Relationship

Dr Kaur, we've been married for 10 years, and have two children. We barely talk, sleep in separate beds, and intimacy has completely died. There is no romance between us. I feel invisible, but I don't want to break up the family. Is this a phase, or are we slowly falling out of love? How to know if there is room for counselling?

Ans: Hello mam...there is a lot of room gor counselling. We will talk about it. This could be a phase also due to overburden. You may have started feeling more like parents more than a couple. Take some time out. May be just start with a cup of tea together or having breakfast together. Just ask him after coming from office that how was his day. If you can help him in some way. Talk about positive things more. Avoid complaints of children or anything else. This will work out and spark will come back.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 12, 2021

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Dear Anu, I am a 44-year-old married man. My wife and I had a love marriage. But just after the birth of our second child we started developing some smaller differences and issues. Nothing really major. However my wife started staying away from me physically. The intimacy and love in the relationship reduced and eventually stopped. Along the way I tried to go close to her but she wasn't interested. I tried a lot but it didn't help. We even tried to go to the counselor but she wasn't quite interested so we stopped midway. Now eight years have passed since we have had any physical closeness. We live like roommates just looking after the kids. However now my wife is making attempts to come close to me but somehow I don't feel anything for her and I am not co-operating. I feel like I just want to go away from everyone and start living independently. What is your advice? We have two daughters.
Ans: Dear N, What went through your wife’s mind at the time of the birth of your second child is something that needs to be addressed.

Maybe the work of bringing up two children exhausted her or there was a hormonal disturbance that made her lose interest. But let bygones be bygones.

Now that she is trying to get closer, maybe you can also try to see what the two of you can do to rebuild the closeness.

Rather than jump straight to sex, create closeness step by step.

Spend quality time together, watch movies, engage in a hobby together, cook together…the fondness and affection outside the bedroom might help breaking the ice and you start to at least engage in an affectionate manner towards one another.

It is easy to walk out of a marriage but do remember what the reason to walk out will be?

After a few years, it might not been worth it at all…Why not at least give the above suggestions a try?

Engage as friends with no expectations from one another and let the purpose be a happy engagement just like the one we have with out friends.

You also have two daughters who definitely want to be in a loving family; so give this a chance and see if it works out. You have nothing to lose but everything to gain.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |659 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 50 years old and got married 15 years ago. I am a very spontaneous sort of a guy and enjoy life, partying etc. I was also very active socially.My wife being the complete opposite put a stop to all that once we got married. She also does not display any affection and has no interest in physical intimacy. She is just concerned with her housework.We also have lot of differences in mental attitude & intellectual abilities. At no stage will we ever seperate, however, I am unhappy with her nature. She has lot of friends, however is always at daggers drawn with in her in laws. We had to stay separately for 6 months, and I tried looking for love else where, however after a couple of months, I realised, that I missed her. I am in a quandary. Despite requesting her to work on our relationship, I get no response. Please advise on how to proceed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you are in a tough spot. But it's nice to see that after all those years of differences, you still have genuine feelings for her. I strongly suggest considering marriage counseling. From your description of your marriage, it seems to be there have been issues from the very beginning of it. It's been too long and now those issues must've become deep-rooted. Seeing a professional can be a game-changer. They can guide you out of this slump more methodically and help you navigate the emotions you are feeling right now. It can also help you understand the reasons for your wife's disinterest and handle it better.

Best Wishes

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Anu Krishna  |1705 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 03, 2025
Relationship
Hi, my name is Dhruv, I have been married for 13 years. It was love marriage. We dont have any kids, though we tried but due to medical complications, we could not have a child. After a point of time, we both accepted the situation and moved on. Since last 3-4 years, slowly we have been drifting apart, though we are together but the love, feeling of togetherness has gone, we talk only about our regular lives, household chores, relatives etc but never about US. That feeling of being loved, even we don't hug each other anymore. Though we do care for each other but its not love anymore. Recently I met someone through work and somehow felt a connect with her, I could talk about things which I'm not able to talk with my wife. She make me feel that I'm still important and now I always think about her, want to be with her, talk to her. Though it makes me guilty also as somewhere in my heart I still love my wife and want to make it work. I am torn between what is right and what is wrong. If I think about myself, my happiness and t it hurts my wife, am I selfish or should I restrict my feelings, please advise way out
Ans: Dear Dhruv,
The easiest way to feel better when a relationship is failing is to get into another one. Searching for what you want in the original relationship cannot be found anywhere else; so giving into that temptation is only going to make things more confusing.
So, if you still love your wife and want to make it work, what have the two of you done so far to make things work?
Working on the marriage is a task that needs effort and a certain kind of stubborn nature that will help you cross over the the challenges that can emerge.
Your marriage now requires a complete RESET. So, push that button and go back to where it all began; no baggage, no expectations, no complaining...When you accept a situation, then do so fully...you can't have children; if you have accepted it then what's the reason to move apart. It only suggests that it was a compromise and not an acceptance.
Understand that acceptance is being graceful about the situation and being supportive of one another. Begin life afresh; date one another...laugh together, do things together. Bring back the little joys and bigger goals for marriage and life...
And most importantly, be in complete support of one another! That hidden love that you both share needs to be watered and nurtured even more...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Anu Krishna  |1705 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 26, 2025

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Anu Krishna  |1705 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Dear guru. I recently watched the film Aap Jaisa Koi and I could relate so much with Kusum bhabhi's character. My condition is somewhat similar. I've been married for six years now. On the outside, everything looks perfect -- a good husband, a 3bhk two storied home in Lucknow, a stable life. But inside, I feel invisible. My husband is a good man, no doubt, but he barely notices me as a person anymore. Conversations revolve around chores, family obligations, and money. There's no affection, no curiosity about how I feel or what I want from life. Sometimes I wonder if he even sees me as a woman, or just as a role I'm expected to keep performing without complaint. Watching the film made me realise how quietly unhappy I've become. I'm not thinking of anything drastic like Kusum, but I do crave connection, validation, and a sense of being wanted, not just needed. I have often felt the urge to text my college crush just to talk or sign up on an app maybe to share my feelings. Is it normal to crave for love and sex outside your marriage? Will it help
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Movies can wake you up, but also don't apply everything from it onto yourself. You will feel like a 'perfect' victim. It's good that you have become aware that you truly want more affection from your husband which is what you call as connection or validation.
Also, when you start to fill the void in your marriage from outside, it's not going to be a very pleasant experience.
Working on your marriage can help; some men unfortunately are raised in homes that don't teach them on how to care for a woman and her feelings. Usually, the male figure at home will dominate in a way that the mother/sister will be submissive or subservient and then the son picks this trait from his father.
So, even if you raise this point of affection, your husband is possibly not going to understand or will simply tell you that you are overthinking. He knows only that much...
Start by being excited about your marriage...
- appreciate him often; it might teach him to do the same with you
- express your wants very clearly without making it sound like a complaint; it may teach him to follow your expectations
- ask for help within your marriage; it may subtly teach him to show up more for you

It's a long journey perhaps, but start somewhere...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |244 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Oct 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 23, 2025Hindi
Money
My monthly income is 1.4 lakh post taxes and expenses around 30k I have MF invested at around 3.5 lacs (started investing last year). I don’t have a personal flat, house or plot but my Dad has a home loan of around 20 lacs pending which I plan to close with my savings of 1 lac per month, in around 2 years. Only after that will I start investing into my own future. I do occasionally invest around 10-15 k in mutual funds from my 30k expense. Am I thinking and planning in the right direction or is there a better route for me to follow that can help me clear my Dads loan as a gift to him and get a corpus of around 1cr at a near future.
Ans: Hi,

Amazing that you are thinking of clearing your dad's loan as a gift. But paying everything you have each month is not a wise choice.

Another best possible alternative for you would be:
- Pay 50,000 per month towards your dad's debt. Closing it will take 2 more years, but that's okay. As saving for future for yourself and family is equally important.
- Invest remaining 50,000 per month in equity mutual funds. In 5 years, you will have 42 lakhs with this investment. And when you cleear the loan, redirect entire 1 lakhs to these funds. You will get 1 crore in another 2 years.
- If you increase the investment by 10% each year, you can reach 1 crore earlier.
- There is no point in prepaying loan by 1 lakh each month. Take time and prepay it slowly.

In the end, make sure to have your emergency fund in place. Also have ample health and term insurance for yourself and family.

If you want to know the best funds to invest in, take an advisor's help. Hence do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile.

Best Regards,
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https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

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Reetika Sharma  |244 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Oct 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 26, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear financial guru. I am 46 now have a small buisness which I started with 2lac loan soon after my graduation , have 2 sons age 17 and 13 my wife is 40 year she is housewife. From the first day i started savings 1. Now have a corpus of 1cr in FD in bank with monthly intrest withdrawl of 60000 per month on 7% approx This is my retirement corpus 2. Have 1 flat of around 75 lac value which i have given on rent fetching me 20000 per month rent monthly. 3 . Have a investment in 2 plots with current value of around 4 cr and 80 lac 5 living in my ancestral home so I assume it with zero value of selling. 4. PPF ac having saving of around 25 lac matured I have extended it to another 5 years 5. Lic policy of around total 30 lac maturing in around 5 years. 6. Soviener gold bond of todays value for around 12 lac 6. Buisness income around 60000-90000 per month now as now my buissnesd is down due to recession. 7. No loans to repay . No monthly emi to pay. 8. I have taken family health insurance of 25 lac which I will increase to 50 lac in wen I am 50 years. So my current income is Fd intrest 60000 Rent 20000 Buisness income 60000-90000 Total 140000 -180000 Current monthly expenses including school fees 110000 Monthly saving after expense 50000 approx Now my aim 1. Need for my sons education , as my eldor son is 17years good in studies from next year I will be needing around1 lac to 1.50 lac monthly for 4 years as he will be doing btech from good collage maybe in india or abroad. 2 . Plans are approx same for younger son cuurently in 7th will be needing same amount after 4 years for further 5 years for his studies. So need 1-2 lac monthly from next year for around 8-10 years for studies of my both son. After that I will retire and need approx same amount for my entire life. Don’t like invest in share and mutual funds always want safe investment like fd. Pls guide me , I am thinking of selling one plot of 80 lac to manage funds for both sons education exp which I need for 8 -10 years. Second plot I plan to sell wen it’s value come to around 5-6 cr in another 3-4 years from now and will buy another commercial property which will fetching me rental of around 2.5 lac monthly if I rent it to a bank .or will put entire amount in fd with monthly pay out of around 7-8%. Pls guide me if am on right track because have limited knowledge .
Ans: Hi,

You have done so good by building huge assets with your business that you started. It is a genuine worry around kid's education as its cost is rising a lot.
Taking your queries one by one.

1. Your foremost worry of not investing in stocks and mutual funds is very genuine. These come out to be risky. But for people who do not want to take any risk, there are funds as good as FD such as Balanced Funds or Hybrid Funds. As even a FD has risk - if a bank fails, your entire money would be gone in a blink of an eye and you will get only 5 lakhs by government.
So investing in mutual funds is a better option as these funds invest in a pool of stocks. Even if 1 stock fail, your 99% of the money is safe. So you can consider investing in these. Can consult an advisor for the same or reach out to me.

2. Selling one plot for kid's education - good decision. It will cover all cost for both kids and remaining amount (if any) will be for your future.

3. You can shift 70% of FD amount in hybrid mutual funds & start SWP. It comes with comparative tax benefits and better return.

4. PPF is good for you to hold for another 5 years. Continue it.

5. Choosing hybrid funds over FD will gurantee more return and security than any bank's FD.

Rest all is good. You can connect with a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |244 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Oct 08, 2025

Money
Hi sir My age was 35years old, my husband government employee, he was 39 years old, iam freshly start investing in mutual funds Paragh flexi cap fund 6000 monthly sip Nippon india small cap fund 7200 Quant small cap fund 2000 Motilal oswal mid cap 5700 Edlewiss mid cap fund 1000 Motilal oswal nifty microcap 250 index fund 5700 Icici Prudential health care fund 1000 Sbi technology opportunities fund 1000 Sbi infrastructure fund 1000 Sbi energy opportunities fund 1000 Edlewiss us technology fund 1000 Total monthly sip 32600 of monthly rental income This portfolio for long term 20 years, how much returns expected,iam interested to aggressive behaviour.. kindly suggest how much returns expected and first 50 lakh when reaches??
Ans: Hi,

Good to know that you are serious about investing. And you are investing a very good amount for long term.
I understand your risk appetite and time horizon, but the funds you mentioned are not aligned with them.
These funds have overlapping stocks and will not fetch much for you in long run.

As your monthly SIP amount is big, it is better to talk to an advisor to invest. I will not recommend you to continue your SIPs in these funds.

If done your investments correctly, you can reach your first 50 lakhs in 7.5 years. But with current portfolio, it will take 8.5 to 9 years.

A self made portfolio is good, but when the amount is big, it is always better to consult a professional.

Hence, a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10744 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 08, 2025

Money
Is, it a good idea to buy 18k, 22k or 24k 1g and more gold coin via online rather offline. Digital gold give profits or not and what about starting investing in stock market as a beginner and what things to keep in mind?
Ans: You are thinking wisely about gold and stock investing together. This balanced approach shows financial awareness.

» Buying Physical Gold Coins

Buying online or offline both work. But check purity, hallmark, and making charges.
– 24k gold is purest for investment.
– 22k and 18k are better for jewellery, not investment.
Online platforms may add delivery or premium charges. Always buy from trusted and verified sellers.

» About Digital Gold

Digital gold is easy to buy and sell, but not SEBI regulated. So, it carries counterparty risk. If the company closes, recovery may be hard. Hence, it’s not safe for long-term holding.

» Gold Mutual Funds

Instead of physical or digital gold, gold mutual funds are safer.
– They are regulated by SEBI.
– They track gold prices closely.
– No need to store or insure gold.
– You can start with small SIP amounts.
They give better liquidity and transparency than coins or digital gold.

» Starting in Stock Market

As a beginner, start small and learn slowly. Don’t rush or follow tips blindly.
Invest through mutual funds managed by expert fund managers.
Actively managed mutual funds perform better than index funds in India because fund managers adapt to market conditions.
Focus on long-term wealth, not short-term trading.

» Key Things to Remember

– Always invest through your goal plan.
– Keep 6 months emergency fund.
– Avoid loans for investing.
– Stay disciplined with SIPs.
– Review your portfolio yearly with a Certified Financial Planner.

» Finally

Gold mutual funds can diversify your portfolio better than physical gold.
Start your stock journey step-by-step with guidance and patience.
Both can grow wealth steadily when planned right.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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