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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |423 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 05, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Barua Question by Barua on May 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I fear my family the most , I fear my dad the most and my uncle the most.

Ans: Remember that it's okay to feel fear, but it's important not to let it control your life. By taking proactive steps to address and cope with your fear, you can empower yourself to live more confidently and authentically.
Asked on - May 05, 2024 | Answered on Aug 09, 2024
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Mam how can I take proactive steps n cope with the fear and how to overcome it
Ans: it's crucial to understand and address the root of your fear. Reflect on the specific behaviors or situations involving your father or uncle that trigger your anxiety. Journaling can be a valuable tool in this process, allowing you to articulate your feelings and gain insight into the nature of your fear. Recognizing these triggers is essential for developing a plan to manage them.

Developing coping strategies is the next step. Techniques like deep breathing and mindfulness can help you remain calm in stressful situations. When you start feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to focus on your breathing—inhale slowly through your nose, hold briefly, and then exhale through your mouth. This practice can help ground you and reduce immediate anxiety.

Building a supportive network outside of your family can also provide significant relief. Surround yourself with friends, mentors, or a counselor who can offer guidance and a safe space to express your feelings. Talking to someone you trust about your fears can help you gain perspective and reassurance.

It’s also important to gradually build your confidence in handling interactions with your family. Start by setting small, manageable boundaries and practicing assertiveness in low-stakes situations. This can help you develop the skills needed to address more challenging situations when they arise.

If addressing these fears directly with your family feels too daunting, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can provide strategies to manage your fear and work through any underlying issues. They can also assist in developing communication skills and coping mechanisms tailored to your specific needs.

Ultimately, facing your fears is about building resilience and self-awareness. By taking these proactive steps, you can gradually shift from feeling overwhelmed to feeling more in control and empowered in your interactions with your family. Remember, it’s a process, and being patient with yourself as you work through these challenges is key.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 18, 2023

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Relationship
How to overcome fear in life
Ans: Overcoming fear is a personal and gradual process, but here are some strategies that can help:

Identify and acknowledge your fears: The first step in overcoming fear is to identify what you're afraid of and acknowledge its presence in your life. Take the time to reflect on the specific fears that hold you back and recognize that they are valid emotions.

Understand the root cause: Try to understand the underlying reasons behind your fears. Sometimes fears stem from past experiences, trauma, or limiting beliefs. By gaining insight into the root causes, you can begin to address them more effectively.

Educate yourself: Knowledge is power. Often, fear arises from a lack of understanding or unfamiliarity. Educate yourself about the things you fear. Whether it's a specific phobia or a fear of the unknown, gathering information and learning more about the subject can help dispel irrational fears.

Take small steps: Overcoming fear doesn't mean completely eliminating it overnight. Start by taking small steps towards facing your fears. Break down the fear-inducing situations into smaller, more manageable tasks. Gradually exposing yourself to these situations can help build confidence and reduce fear over time.

Practice relaxation techniques: Fear can trigger physical and emotional responses, such as increased heart rate, sweating, or anxiety. Practicing relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, or mindfulness, can help you manage these symptoms and calm your mind.

Seek support: Don't hesitate to reach out for support. Share your fears with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist who can provide encouragement, guidance, and a fresh perspective. Connecting with others who have faced similar fears can also be beneficial.

Challenge negative thoughts: Fear often accompanies negative thoughts and self-doubt. Challenge these thoughts by examining their validity and replacing them with more positive and empowering ones. Affirmations and positive self-talk can help reframe your mindset and reduce fear.

Embrace failure as a learning opportunity: Fear of failure can hold you back from taking risks or pursuing your goals. Remember that failure is a natural part of life and often leads to growth and learning. Embrace failure as an opportunity to learn, adjust, and try again.

Celebrate your successes: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Each step you take in facing your fears and overcoming obstacles is progress worth recognizing. Celebrating your successes can boost your confidence and motivate you to continue moving forward.

Remember, overcoming fear takes time and patience. Be kind to yourself throughout the process, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if your fears are significantly impacting your daily life and well-being.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |423 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 09, 2024

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Relationship
Mam how can I take proactive steps n cope with the fear and how to overcome it
Ans: it's crucial to understand and address the root of your fear. Reflect on the specific behaviors or situations involving your father or uncle that trigger your anxiety. Journaling can be a valuable tool in this process, allowing you to articulate your feelings and gain insight into the nature of your fear. Recognizing these triggers is essential for developing a plan to manage them.

Developing coping strategies is the next step. Techniques like deep breathing and mindfulness can help you remain calm in stressful situations. When you start feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to focus on your breathing—inhale slowly through your nose, hold briefly, and then exhale through your mouth. This practice can help ground you and reduce immediate anxiety.

Building a supportive network outside of your family can also provide significant relief. Surround yourself with friends, mentors, or a counselor who can offer guidance and a safe space to express your feelings. Talking to someone you trust about your fears can help you gain perspective and reassurance.

It’s also important to gradually build your confidence in handling interactions with your family. Start by setting small, manageable boundaries and practicing assertiveness in low-stakes situations. This can help you develop the skills needed to address more challenging situations when they arise.

If addressing these fears directly with your family feels too daunting, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can provide strategies to manage your fear and work through any underlying issues. They can also assist in developing communication skills and coping mechanisms tailored to your specific needs.

Ultimately, facing your fears is about building resilience and self-awareness. By taking these proactive steps, you can gradually shift from feeling overwhelmed to feeling more in control and empowered in your interactions with your family. Remember, it’s a process, and being patient with yourself as you work through these challenges is key.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |423 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am in a relationship with a girl who is somehow became by 3rd-4th cousin initial days we are not aware. Later we came to know our parents were close long back but now distancing because her mom had some illicit relationship. Now my parents are not accepting our love because of cousin thing and her mom’s past. One day while speaking to parents they scolded me abusively using all type of bad words. Somehow I developed a hatred to them now. I stopped calling them now they have also stopped calling me. Now my sister is telling I only should forgive them and talk to them. I felt I am being pushed, traumatised by all these events. Now my sister is telling parents won’t come down for me. If I have to leave everything and be like a old me, I don’t feel it’s possible. What should I do?
Ans: Take a moment to reflect on your priorities and values. Ask yourself:

Do you still value a relationship with your parents, despite their hurtful actions?
Can you imagine rebuilding a relationship with them in a way that feels healthy and respectful to you?
What would an ideal resolution look like for you—not for them, not for your sister, but for you?
It’s also important to understand your own emotional wellbeing in this situation. Carrying hatred and anger is exhausting, but that doesn’t mean you should suppress or ignore your feelings. Instead, give yourself time to process them. Therapy or counseling could be incredibly helpful in this journey—it’s a space to work through your emotions and gain tools to navigate these relationships with clarity and confidence.

Regarding your relationship with the girl, it’s equally important to evaluate how strongly you both feel about being together and whether you’re prepared to face the challenges that come with it. If this relationship is a source of love, support, and happiness for you, it’s worth fighting for, but it also requires honest conversations about the realities you’re both facing.

As for your parents, reconciliation, if it happens, should come from a place of mutual respect. You don’t have to accept abusive behavior or let go of your boundaries just to restore contact. Relationships thrive when there’s a willingness to listen, apologize, and grow—on both sides. If they are unwilling to meet you halfway, it’s okay to protect your own peace and prioritize the relationships and choices that support your wellbeing.

Remember, you’re not obligated to live up to anyone else’s version of who you should be—not your parents, not your sister, and not anyone else. This is your life, and it’s okay to take the time and space you need to figure out what’s best for you. Trust that with reflection and self-compassion, you’ll find a path forward that feels right for you.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Janak

Janak Patel  |8 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 30, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi, i am 52years old, wanted to retire early, following are my investments, MF - INR 65L, Equity - INR 22L, 3 houses, one is self-occupied, other 2 houses valued at INR 90 L and INR 32L respectively, i have home loan outstanding of INR 12L, FD of INR 36L , PF INR 32L, monthly expenses requirement is INR 1 L, kindly help me to plan my early retirement. Thank you in advance for your reply on my question.
Ans: Hi,

As there are many things to consider for an early retirement, one of the first is to start thinking about it in a more realistic manner. An early retirement is not necessarily stop working life, but think of it as a more comfortable schedule that provides you opportunities to relax and pursue your passion and interests and live life on your own terms. You may or may not undertake an activity which can be monetized, meaning which provides you some sort of income - not necessarily to cover your living expenses in whole/part. So do give it some thought of how you intend to keep yourself occupied once you retire from your "current schedule". Will you generate any source of income or will you incur/require more expense.

At current age of 52, an early retirement even if we consider at 55 years of age, it a still a long life ahead. I will make a lot of assumptions in my response as these are not known from your query - such as life expectancy of another 30 years, average return of 8% on all investments for future etc. Are the 2 real estate properties earning any kind of rent that can be considered as income.
There are too many variables that go into the calculations for retirement which are specific to each individual and their circle of life.

Generic solution - You have a currently accumulated investments valued at INR 2.65 Cr (all investments less loan).

Current monthly expenses is INR 1 Lac, over which inflation needs to be applied each year (depends on lifestyle and composition of items of expenses).

So if your cumulative investments appreciate at average 8% annually, and your monthly expense increases at 6% annual inflation, your current accumulated investments are just about enough to manage expenses for next 30yrs (excluding tax implications - refer below).

Points to consider -
1. Inflation in real world is more than 6% (depends on the individual)
2. Liquidation of investments e.g. Real estate attract expenses/fees and tax on capital gains as it will be lumpsum
3. PF post retirement will earn interest only for 3 years, so you need to plan to re-invest the amount
4. Interest income on FD attracts tax at slab rate
5. Withdrawal of amount for monthly expense from your investments will attract tax on capital gains (MF and Equity)

I strongly recommend you connect with a Certified Financial Planner for personalized guidance and prepare a plan that will take into consideration your risk profile and overall investment management towards the retirement. Benefits will include a more tax efficient plan which will consider your requirements and ensure retirement goals are achieved and if there is a shortfall - what alternatives you need to consider.

Hope this is helpful and all the best for the future.

Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

...Read more

Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |174 Answers  |Ask -

Health Science and Pharmaceutical Careers Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2024

Career
Sir I am preparing for mbbs, but I'm not able to crack that. I'm a middle class student. Can I pursue mbbs in abroad under 8 lakhs in a best college for mbbs?After that can I able to be a doctor in India?
Ans: Hi Lagna,

It seems you haven’t provided the details clearly on this platform. If you could share more information, I’m sure you will receive helpful input.

Based on your message, I understand that you are considering pursuing a career in medicine. If you intend to enroll in a medical program either in India or abroad and plan to practice in India after completion, here are some important guidelines according to the National Medical Commission (NMC):

You must appear for the NEET exam, as it is a mandatory requirement for anyone wishing to pursue graduate medical education in India or elsewhere while intending to return and practice in India. According to the NMC eligibility criteria: “No student shall be eligible to pursue graduate medical education either in India or elsewhere (if they want to return and practice in India), except by scoring the minimum eligible score at the NEET UG exam. The UGMEB will announce the list of eligible students periodically.”

Therefore, I recommend preparing for the NEET exam and trying to secure admission in India itself. If you choose to pursue medical education abroad, you can still practice in India, but you will need to pass exit exams as well.

Regarding your question about pursuing MBBS abroad for under 8 lakhs, are you asking if this is per year or for the entire course? Studying abroad at that cost per year is possible. However, when you take into account the total expenses, which include course fees, accommodation, food, travel, visa, and other costs, it might be more feasible to complete your MBBS in India.

I hope this clarifies your queries!

...Read more

Patrick

Patrick Dsouza  |879 Answers  |Ask -

CAT, XAT, CMAT, CET Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2024

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Career
Hi Sir, I am 41 years old. I've 15 years of experience in Finance (FP&A) domain. In last 2.5 years I have changed 3 companies due to lay off, Cultural misfit and latest one due to Personal and family issue. I quit my last job in Sept'24 (from Apr;24 to Sept'24). Due to some family issues, Lay offs, Challenges faced on the job I am feeling very low. I don't have any confidence left as a result don't want to return to work out of fear and anxiety. However, I also want to upskill myself and thinking of pursuing US CMA. But I am in dilemna that with around 15 years of work experience would it open any gates for growth opportunities going forward. Another dilemna that I am constantly fighting is to whether think of making a switch from Finance domain to Learning & Development domain. I have good communication & interpersonal skills and have always had a liking towards L&D domain. Now myself on a Career break I am not sure how to proceed further - Whether to pursue my Career in Finance and look for jobs in Finance domain and then gradually look to switch to L&D domain or Look for the opportunities only in L&D domain. I have an emergency fund that can take care of my expenses for next 6-8 months. Looking forward to your guidance that can help me bounce back in my career as I am feeling lost, depressed and Lack of Confidence at present in life. Thanks.
Ans: Learning is a continuous process. So doing a course in Finance should not be a problem. As far as getting into LnD domain, start with being a faculty in one of the colleges or can start with taking private tuitions. See if it suits you. If it does, then you can decide to make the switch.

...Read more

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