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Is my desire to love someone considered a crime?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Pricy Question by Pricy on Feb 18, 2025Hindi
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They make me stressed out. I love my parents, as being the only child, loving someone else other than parents considered as a crime?! . According to them, relatives,and their society, giving so much freedom is the reason for my love. Relatives going to blame them, society going to make fun of them in my area. Am I thinking about only my happiness not my parents happiness!!By thinking all these, giving me a guilt...

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
My dear girl, sometimes you need to take a stand for yourself. Love happens and it isn't well-defined to fit into every person's frame of reference and it is bound to ruffle feathers. That's when you need to work on your mind and understand what this LOVE means to you and whether giving it up OR protecting it will give you peace. So, sit down and think hard. What will taking a stand give you? What will giving it up take away from you? What will either of these decisions do for you in the long run?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2024Hindi
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Mam i am in relationship for 9 years now..he became my boyfriend when i shifted in my new house he was my neighbour..i was in 10th when i got caught and since then my parents hate my boyfriend , i apologized to my parents then and said to have no contact with my boyfriend but 9 years down the lane ..we are totally connected and living a peaceful healthy relationship..my parents hate my boyfriend and his family to the core..my relationship with ny parents are.mixed someday they will be super nice to me , another day they will abuse me for evn small things..we have ups and down in our relationship but i love them a lott , i want to care of them in their old age..but at this point i want to talk to them about my boyfriend but seeinng that they hate him so much i am literally very very afraid that my parents will hate me to their core knowing about someone i want to marry whoom they hate soo much ..... i don't know how will they react .. i am been through physcial and verbal abuse earlier too but i don't know how much worse it can get this time..for them the girl who marry their parents choice is the best in the world..my boyfriend and i have no caste issue its just the ego issues with my parents they think karrying into that house they will never able to have good enough respect though my mother and his mother talk..but that too my mother bitch a lott about her mother for even nonsensical things..i am 24 now and preparing for government exam ...i am soo much stress knowing i have to choose between my love or my parents.....i think so even if i marry him with their superficail consent they will never be happy woth me..and can even cut contacts with me...i don't know what to do i have no elder in my house to make parents explain...mam plss show me some path
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No where have you mentioned what your boyfriend does for a living? Could this be the reason that your parents refuse to acknowledge your relationship?
Parents want the best for their children but at times their own beliefs on love marriages etc can come in the way. Since you are an adult, it is time to actually start acting like one. My suggestion is to have a conversation with them and understand the reason for their refusal to accept your boyfriend. If it is one of society and family objection, then you know how to handle it BUT if their concern is more about his character or his job, you both need to make an effort to take away that concern so that they accept all this wholeheartedly.
Find the reason and things will become clearer as to how you must handle the situation.

All the best!

..Read more

Aamish

Aamish Dhingra  | Answer  |Ask -

Life Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2025Hindi
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My parents are friendly and supportive as I'm the single child. But , after telling about my interreligious love they hate me, we did everything for you then why don't think of us?...Actually , I love my parents that means to not love someone? I love my boyfriend as well , the problem is religion difference between us, what society say, religion force on future child, etc etc....they even said to choose between two.... I need both my parents and love.... But my parents care about religion... how to convince them?
Ans: You’re in a tough emotional situation where you love both your parents and your partner, but your parents see this as a conflict. Their reaction is driven by deep-seated beliefs about religion, societal expectations, and the future of your family. Right now, they see your love as a threat to their values rather than an expansion of family bonds. Instead of reacting emotionally or feeling trapped, try to approach the situation with patience and understanding.
Start by acknowledging their fears instead of dismissing them. Let them express their concerns, and in return, calmly share your perspective. Reassure them that loving someone from another faith doesn’t mean you are abandoning them or your roots. If they worry about society, show them examples of successful interfaith marriages where both partners have managed to respect each other’s traditions. Address the topic of future children with sensitivity—explain that faith can be a personal choice and that raising children with exposure to both religions can be enriching rather than confusing.
Change takes time, and their resistance is likely coming from fear rather than hatred. Continue to express love and gratitude toward them while standing firm in your decision. If possible, involve a family member, religious elder, or counselor they respect, as an external perspective can sometimes help ease their concerns. Stay patient, and remember that acceptance often comes gradually.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2025Hindi
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As a single child my parents give me full support and freedom. I made them feel proud in terms of my studies and my extracurricular activities, but after revealing my love with another religion(I'm Christian and he is Hindu),they feel their status ,fame will be gone, they asked me is this the way to honour us?!!, for this only we nourishes and protect you all these years?!!.... These made me feel guilty , is loving person as a single child is too worse?. My love is worth for it, at the same time I have to think of their health condition tooo....I'm in the feel of guilt as the single child is not supposed to love someone especially from other religion!!!
Ans: Loving someone is never a crime, and being a single child does not mean you should sacrifice your happiness just to meet societal or familial expectations. Your parents love you deeply, and their concerns likely stem from fear—fear of societal judgment, fear of losing their reputation, and fear of change. But love is not dishonor, and your choices in life should not be measured only by how well they align with their expectations.

Right now, the guilt you feel is because you have always made them proud, and for the first time, they are questioning your decision. That does not mean you have done something wrong. It simply means their perspective is different from yours, and they are struggling to accept something that challenges their beliefs. But love and respect should not be one-sided. Just as they want you to honor them, they also need to understand that your happiness and your right to choose a life partner matter too.

Instead of seeing this as a battle between love and family, try to have a patient, honest conversation with them. Assure them that your love for them hasn’t changed, and neither has your respect. Help them see the person you love beyond religion. Over time, they might come to accept it, but even if they don’t, you have to ask yourself—will denying your love make you truly happy, or will it only leave you with lifelong regret?

Your happiness is not a betrayal. It is possible to love your parents and also choose the life you want. This is your journey, and while their emotions matter, so do yours.

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10854 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello, I am currently in Class 12 and preparing for JEE. I have not yet completed even 50% of the syllabus properly, but I aim to score around '110' marks. Could you suggest an effective strategy to achieve this? I know the target is relatively low, but I have category reservation, so it should be sufficient.
Ans: With category reservation (SC/ST/OBC), a score of 110 marks is absolutely achievable and realistic. Based on 2025 data, SC candidates qualified with approximately 60-65 percentile, and ST candidates with 45-55 percentile. Your target requires scoring just 37-40% marks, which is significantly lower than general category standards. This gives you a genuine advantage. Immediate Action Plan (December 2025 - January 2026): 4-5 Weeks. Week 1-2: High-Weightage Chapter Focus. Stop trying to complete the entire syllabus. Instead, focus exclusively on high-scoring chapters that carry maximum weightage: Physics (Modern Physics, Current Electricity, Work-Power-Energy, Rotation, Magnetism), Chemistry (Chemical Bonding, Thermodynamics, Coordination Compounds, Electrochemistry), and Maths (Integration, Differentiation, Vectors, 3D Geometry, Probability). These chapters alone can yield 80-100+ marks if practiced properly. Ignore topics you haven't studied yet. Week 2-3: Previous Year Questions (PYQs). Solve JEE Main PYQs from the last 10 years (2015-2025) for chapters you're studying. PYQs reveal question patterns and difficulty levels. Focus on understanding why answers are correct, not memorizing solutions. Week 3-4: Mock Tests & Error Analysis. Take 2-3 full-length mock tests weekly under timed conditions. This is crucial because mock tests build exam confidence, reveal time management weaknesses, and error analysis prevents repeated mistakes. Maintain an error notebook documenting every mistake—this becomes your revision guide. Week 4-5: Revision & Formula Consolidation. Create concise formula sheets for each subject. Spend 30 minutes daily reviewing formulas and key concepts. Avoid learning new topics entirely at this stage. Study Schedule (Daily): 7-8 Hours. Morning (5:00-7:30 AM): Physics concepts + 30 PYQs. Break (7:30-8:30 AM): Breakfast & rest. Mid-morning (8:30-11:00): Chemistry concepts + 20 PYQs. Lunch (11:00-1:00 PM): Full break. Afternoon (1:00-3:30 PM): Maths concepts + 30 PYQs. Evening (3:30-5:00 PM): Mock test or error review. Night (7:00-9:00 PM): Formula revision & weak area focus. Strategic Approach for 110 Marks: Attempt only confident questions and avoid negative marking by skipping difficult questions. Do easy questions first—in the exam, attempt all basic-level questions before attempting medium or hard ones. Focus on quality over quantity as 30 well-practiced questions beat 100 random questions. Master NCERT concepts as most JEE questions test NCERT concepts applied smartly. April 2026 Session Advantage. If January doesn't deliver desired results, April gives you a second chance with 3+ months to prepare. Use January as a practice attempt to identify weak areas, then focus intensively on those in February-March. Realistic Timeline: January 2026 target is 95-110 marks (achievable with focused 50% syllabus), while April 2026 target is 120-130 marks (with complete syllabus + experience). Your reservation benefit means you need only approximately 90-105 marks to qualify and secure admission to quality engineering colleges. Stop comparing yourself to general category cutoffs. Most Importantly: Consistency beats perfection. Study 6 focused hours daily rather than 12 distracted hours. Your 110-mark target is realistic—execute this plan with discipline. All the BEST for Your JEE 2026!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025
Career
Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a 1st year UG student studying engineering in Sairam Engineering College, But there the lack of exposure and strict academics feels so rigid and I don't like it that. It's like they don't gaf about skills but just wants us to memorize things and score a good CGPA, the only skill they want is you to memorize things and pass, there's even special class for students who don't perform well in academics and it is compulsory for them to attend or else the student and his/her parents needs to face authorities who lashes out. My question is when did engineering became something that requires good academics instead of actual learning and skill set. In sairam they provides us a coding platform in which we need to gain the required points for each semester which is ridiculous cuz most of the students here just look at the solution to code instead of actual debugging. I am passionate about engineering so I want to learn and experiment things instead of just memorizing, so I actually consider dropping out and I want to give jee a try and maybe viteee , srmjeee But i heard some people say SRM may provide exposure but not that good in placements. I may not be excellent at studies but my marks are decent. So gimme some insights about SRM and recommend me other colleges/universities which are good at exposure
Ans: First — your frustration is valid

What you are experiencing at Sairam is not engineering, it is rote-based credential production.

“When did engineering become memorizing instead of learning?”

Sadly, this shift happened decades ago in most Tier-3 private colleges in India.

About “coding platforms & points” – your observation is sharp

You are absolutely right:

Mandatory coding points → students copy solutions

Copying ≠ learning

Debugging & thinking are missing

This is pseudo-skill education — it looks modern but produces shallow engineers.

The fact that you noticed this in 1st year already puts you ahead of 80% students.

Should you DROP OUT and prepare for JEE / VITEEE / SRMJEEE?

Although VIT/SRM is better than Sairam Engineering College, but you may face the same problem. You will not face this type of problem only in some top IITs, but getting seat in those IITs will be difficult.
Instead of dropping immediately, consider:

???? Strategy:

Stay enrolled (degree security)

Reduce emotional investment in college rules

Use:

GitHub

Open-source projects

Hackathons

Internships (remote)

Hardware / software self-projects

This way:

College = formality

Learning = self-driven

Risk = minimal

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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