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What Should I Do With My Toxic Family?

Anu Krishna |1595 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2024Hindi

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Relationship

My mom and brother they always have issue with me... And when I m standing for myself ... My brother always fights with me... Nd my mom never take my stand or my side even if he is wrong . She ll prove me wrong infront of him... Nd somehow they both tortures me mentally... I have a very toxic family. .. idk what to do...

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
IGNORE!
The best way to get around people like these even if they are family is to ignore.
In a small way, it's like ignoring a bully...the more you give a bully attention, they seem to want to bully more. As long as you are able to show that what they do does not matter to you or you can be unbothered by it, they will soften their behavior towards you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Question by Sneha - May 12, 2024Hindi

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My mother and brother beats harass and torture me. What to do.

Ans: Dear Sneha,
I don't know how old you are but you can get in touch with an NGO that is headed by a woman and protects women's rights. They will guide you on how to deal with this situation.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 09, 2024Hindi

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Hi I brought up from a middle class family now I'm married and having 3 yrs kid, my younger brother recently got married! Ever since his marg there was a problem going on between my mom, brother and her wife , all the 3 of them bringing their problems to me and husband it creates a huge impact on my mental health due to their problems, if I try to resolve nobody is listening, I'm staying nearby my parents which is a big disadvantage, directly it's affecting me and my family? I don't know how to overcome from this type of issue

Ans: A compassionate but firm boundary can make a difference here. For instance, you could gently explain to your mother, brother, and his wife that while you understand and empathize with their challenges, you’re finding it difficult to handle all the tension that arises from these discussions. You might let them know that, for the sake of your own mental health and family well-being, you need to step back from being involved in any discussions about their conflicts.

If they do come to you with their concerns, try gently redirecting them, perhaps by suggesting that they talk directly to each other or even consider family counseling if they’re open to it. Remind them that only they can solve these issues by communicating directly, rather than relying on you as a mediator. Over time, they may begin to understand that their repeated involvement of you is not a productive solution.

Creating some physical and emotional space is key. If living nearby is heightening the tension, consider adjusting how often you interact in person. Focusing more on your own family’s peace, stability, and happiness will also help. It may feel challenging at first, but taking steps to protect your boundaries will benefit everyone, and gradually, they may even recognize the need to work out these issues themselves without depending on you.

Anu Krishna |1595 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 28, 2025

Question by Anuj - Jan 20, 2025Hindi

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I am 17 years old and totally depressed, like I have very poor health and my family members are very toxic to me, My sister and mother have issues with each other and whatever bad happen in them, I always get involved out of nowhere , I don't say anything or do anything they make me involved like a middle man, then my father who don't care about anything and my little brother who is 10 years younger then me and don't listen to me he talks very rudely to me, don't do what I ask him, I have seen cases of elder brothers paying for their toxic brothers education and expenses and getting betrayed by them in return. I don't want to end like this.

Ans: Dear Anuj,
Listen, you are 17 but have begun to 'act' much older. Be your age and yes, at times the older sibling will be held responsible and sometimes the younger one too. Focus on studies, games and just being your age...there is a lot of time for you to play a grown-up and hey, that's not easy at all...so go slow...it may seem unfair that you get into the middle of things but as long as the family stays together, consider yourself fortunate. So, it's not yet time for you to think of what's going to happen when you really become the much 'older' brother, alright...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Kanchan Rai |581 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2025

Question by Niveditha - Mar 26, 2025Hindi

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Hi ma'am my relationship with my parents r getting sour since a very long time they always want me to do everything that makes them happy and think about their happiness if I think about my happiness they will start fighting with me nd my parents never supported me for anything in my life till today my dad has always said that if she will ever think about her happiness then I'm gonna leave everything nd go nd so does my mom she also threatened me to cut ties with me even I do everything still they taunt me every day that I can't do anything in life my parents never support me they never ask me who I wanna get married to who I'll b happy with what I wanna work what is my goals ngt but it's always about them my grandmother stays 15kms away from my house she has 3 kids and all r well settled but her 2 daughters had a love marriage one to a muslim nd one to a hindu when they were about to get married my mom didn't even raised her voice or opposed that marriage her one daughter ran nd got married to her bf who is a hindu at that tym also my mom nd dad nd my grandmother didn't even say a word nd during Covid 2020 my grandmother got her 2nd daughter married with her bf who is a muslim without informing any of our relatives when I fell in love with a hindu guy my mom separated me from him and she is telling everyone to brainwash me to leave the person I love nd get married to a Christian guy when ever we go to my grandmother's house my mom always start a fight with me we went there for 3 times and all the 3 times she started fighting with me my mom always support my grandmother's children if anything happens to them she will call them 10 tyms and ask how they are when my grandmother was ill treating me my mom didn't even raise her voice nd didn't even take a stand for myself but she was watching everything as a movie is going on when I was crying after we came back to my house my mom didn't even ask me what am I going through when she was seeing me cry everyday she always support my grandmother who did bad with me if they will say not to let her work my mom will listen to her nd her daughters but she will never listen to me and my grandmother started forcing me to get married to a Christian guy nd i should also listen to her nd not to think about my happiness nd what makes me happy in life what should I do I'm completely shattered ma'am nd i don't have anyone to share my pain with even if I do they will support my parents only bcoz of all this I'm not able to concentrate on anything at all

Ans: Dear Niveditha,
Right now, your emotions are tangled in hurt, anger, and helplessness, but you are not powerless. The first thing you need to do is detach emotionally from their guilt-tripping. You cannot live your entire life trying to please people who refuse to acknowledge your needs. It’s okay to love and respect your parents, but not at the cost of losing yourself.

Start setting boundaries, even if it feels impossible at first. If they constantly taunt you, limit conversations with them. If they threaten to cut ties, remind yourself that love should not be conditional. If they refuse to support you, find strength within yourself. You are already surviving without their emotional backing, which means you are stronger than you think.

As for your relationship, you need to ask yourself—are you willing to sacrifice your happiness just to avoid family drama? If you truly love this person and see a future together, you will need to stand firm in your decision. Love requires courage, and choosing your happiness is not selfish—it’s necessary.

You are not alone in this. Many people fight similar battles with families who refuse to understand. But at the end of the day, this is your life. You deserve love, respect, and the right to make your own choices. No matter what happens, never let their words make you believe you are unworthy of happiness. Keep fighting for yourself, because you deserve it.

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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2025

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Sir I am feeling very uncertain about my career, i am very much interested in medical field, i gave my HS in 2024, this is my 1st drop for neet, i tried a lot but due to family issues and negativity i couldnot do well, neet is jst after 5days , but my syllabus not yet done, mock test are not good, but still i want to pursue medical field ans study in a government medical college, i know where my preparation was lagging{my class 11 12 were weak, those who taught me they all jst told m,e "u cant do anything " and leave and never used to teach properly but i did everything by my own , and then took drop but i how to prepare in a coaching class i didnt know all network isuues for almost 6months ,but i keep on doing and now i am standing in a uncertain phase where i still want to become a doctor, i dont have anproblem in studying those again but the problem is what others will say , its like a fear, as even though my parents enrolled in a coaching online previous year but they also sometimes used to say that i should have also enrolled i a college, its a fear, so my question is this path really for me? should i take a partial drop and go for neet 2026 too, {dob: 14/10/2005}.....i feel like hopeless , but still want to follow my dreams, is this possible?

Ans: Hi,

Before I address your query, please avoid mentioning your date of birth on social media; it's not necessary at this point. However, I noticed that some other details are missing.

In addition to the educational concerns, it seems like you may have a bit of a psychological issue in that you tend to worry excessively about others. This mentality is quite common in our country. Prior to the NEET exam, entry into the medical field, specifically for MBBS and BDS, was mainly reserved for aspirants with high marks. Additionally, those with significant wealth could gain admission through management quotas or at times via NRI quotas. However, the situation has changed completely after the introduction of NEET.

As you know, the major advantage of NEET is that the marks aspirants score in their HSC examinations are now less relevant. Candidates from any part of the country, of any category or state, and even those taking the exam for a second time can attempt NEET, regardless of their HSC performance. If aspirants have talent, they can succeed in NEET, which provides a standardized syllabus across the nation. So, even if you are currently struggling with your HSC studies, you can still perform well on the NEET.

Apart from percentile scores, various factors will influence admission, including community status, creamy or non-creamy layer, physical challenges, and more.

Therefore, NEET is the best solution for aspirants, and you can take the exam as many times as you need.

There are no barriers to preparing for the exam, so please go ahead.

You mentioned that you feel weak in the subject and have difficulty concentrating. I suggest starting yoga and meditation. By practicing these, you'll be able to relieve stress and work towards achieving your goals.

Regarding your desire to enter the medical field (I believe you want to become a doctor), is that correct?

If so, in addition to MBBS, there are other medical courses known as Indian Medicine, including BAMS, BHMS, BSMS, and BNYS. If you find MBBS challenging, consider focusing on these options as well. Many people have started to embrace Indian medicine after the COVID pandemic, so it’s not a problem at all.

Prepare for NEET 2025, analyze your situation, and send your details to the Rediffguru. We can discuss this further.

Wishing you all the best!
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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2025

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Dear Sir, my Q is If there's no/ zero tax below 12 income then why 5% & 10% applied / proposed for 4-8 lacs & 8-12 lacs, slabs, respectively ❓ Sir, how many types of incomes exist for tax purpose , other than Salary income ❓ Can you please list all Or give me a weblink to know all types of taxed incomes & non taxed incomes sources ❓ Regards

Ans: Tax is calculated as per slab rate prescribed under both regimes and once tax calculation is done, there is a concept of rebate which is deducted from tax liability.

Accordingly, if taxpayers opt for a new tax regime, tax on 12 lacs of income will be 60000 and rebate will be 60000. Thus, tax liability will be Zero.

Please note that rebate is not available on special rate income like short term capital gain on equity shares which is taxable at 20%, long term capital gain on equity shares is taxable at 12.5%.

You can calculate tax liability, using advance income tax calculator available at following link:

https://eportal.incometax.gov.in/iec/foservices/#/TaxCalc/calculator

You can read more about new and old tax regime at following link:

https://incometaxindia.gov.in/booklets%20%20pamphlets/3-new-tax-regime-vs-old-tax-regime.pdf

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Hi Mihir, What would be tax calculation under new tax regime...CTC 21.5 lacs...taxable income showing to be 18.2 lacs...how much would be monthly reduction in tax. Thanks

Ans: Considering taxable income of 18.2 lacs, under new tax regime gross tax liability will be Rs.1,70,560.

You can calculate tax liability, using advance income tax calculator available at following link:

https://eportal.incometax.gov.in/iec/foservices/#/TaxCalc/calculator

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Question by BHAVESH - Feb 01, 2025

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CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE CLARITY OIN NEW TAX SLABS PLEASE. IF A PERSON IS DRAWING A SALARY OF RS.48.00 LACS HOW MUCH TAX WILL BE DEDUCTED

Ans: Selection of tax regime will decide tax liability and depending on eligibility of amount of deduction/exemption, tax liability will be calculated.

Considering income of 48 lacs, under old tax regime gross tax liability will be Rs.13,02,600 and under new tax regime it will be Rs.10,60,800.

You can calculate tax liability, using advance income tax calculator available at following link:

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Why there is always so confusion in the budget when it comes to Income Tax rates? Will you please guide on the new norm of No Income Tax upto Rs 12 Lakhs...Thanks

Ans: Tax is calculated as per slab rate prescribed under both regime and once tax calculation is done, there is a concept of rebate which is deducted from tax liability.

Accordingly, if taxpayer opt for new tax regime, tax on 12 lacs of income will be 60000 and rebate will be 60000. Thus, tax liability will be Zero.

Please note that rebate is not available on special rate income like short term capital gain on equity shares which is taxable at 20%, long term capital gain on equity shares is taxable at 12.5%

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Question by Hardik - Feb 06, 2025

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We are a Private Limited Company with an employee strength of 60, and we strictly follow all PF rules. As per the applicable salary criteria, we contribute to the Provident Fund wherever required. Recently, we discovered that an employee who joined our company two years ago has an existing UAN linked to their Aadhaar. However, at the time of joining, the employee declared in Form 11 that they did not have a PF account. Based on this declaration, we did not contribute to their PF account. Now, the employee states that they were unaware of their PF account, and the UAN linked to their Aadhaar is currently inactive. Furthermore, they do not wish to activate their PF account. Given this situation, should we present Form 11 as valid proof for non-contribution, or are there any corrective actions required to comply with PF regulations? Kindly guide us on the appropriate steps to take in this matter.

Ans: Hello;

If the organisation is such that EPFO laws are applicable and if employee 's salary is as per the threshold given by EPFO (15 K basic +DA) then you don't have an option to avoid EPF.

The EPFO commissioner may issue your organisation a show cause notice as to why the form-11 submitted by the employee was not scrutinized thoroughly when it was submitted.

You may furnish joint declaration in the prescribed format to correct the mistake in form 11 and deposit all employer employee contributions till date with penalty as decided by the EPF Commissioner.

Actually such willful suppression of facts by the employee, which bring the employer into legal issues, deserves termination.

Seek advice from a lawyer specializing in labour and EPF laws, if required.

Best wishes;

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Tax Expert - Answered on Apr 28, 2025

Question by Prakash - Feb 01, 2025

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my CTC is 17 lacs what will be my income tax in both regimes

Ans: Selection of tax regime depends of eligibility of amount of deduction and exemption. Considering income of 17lacs, When amount of deductions/exemption cross 6,50,000; old scheme is likely to be beneficial for the tax payer.

You can calculate tax liability, using advance income tax calculator available at following link:

https://eportal.incometax.gov.in/iec/foservices/#/TaxCalc/calculator

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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