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Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  | Answer  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Feb 08, 2023

Dr Aarti Bakshi is a psychologist licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India.
A school counsellor, she has worked for 15 years with young adults.
She has two PhD degrees -- developmental psychology from Global Institute of Healthcare Management and clinical psychology from Singhania University.
She is on the CBSE panel for counsellors and special educators. She collaborates with SAAR Education to help children develop life skills.
She has authored SEL (social emotional learning) journals for Grades 1-8.... more
Basant Question by Basant on Feb 07, 2023Hindi
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Dr. Aarti, my sons dob is 18/12/2005 and he is in 11class. His problem is that he is not sharing anything with us. not speaking to anybody neither with his friends nor with parents. He is so much anger and irritable that some time he is heating to his mom. He is very much good in studies and got 91 percent in 10th ICSE exam. what should we do for his improvement of communication skill?

Ans: Dear Basant,
1. One-on -One- take your son for a walk/cafe/a drive to help him talk. Forcing him to talk will feel like interrogation to him. Sometimes silence and your presence helps a teen to talk.
2. Ask his friends if anything has happened at school, or has he had a fight with a specific friend.
3. Give him space, show a lot of love but ensure that he is safe. So, no locking of doors, or going out without asking.
4. Switch on his favourite songs.
5. Ask for help from him to solve a problem you may be facing (does not have to be real). Teenagers like to be incharge and helping their parents.
let me know your progress!
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 23, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 22, 2023Hindi
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Hi My son is 9 years old and since last 6 months we have seen he is not listening to us and same is happening in school and his tuition also he is not restless but he tries to ignore what we say or teacher says which is also impacting his studies and he is not able to concentrate what could be done to regain his listening power
Ans: I understand that this situation is causing you a lot of distress. It's not uncommon for family members to be involved in a newlywed couple's life, but it's important to set healthy boundaries and communicate openly with each other about what is acceptable and what is not.

It's possible that your wife's sisters may not be aware of the impact of their behavior on your marriage, or they may not realize the boundaries they are crossing. Have you tried discussing your concerns with your wife and her sisters in a calm and respectful manner? It's important to express your feelings and set clear boundaries on how much interference you are comfortable with.

In addition, it's important to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about how her family's behavior is affecting your marriage. It may be helpful to seek the assistance of a professional counselor to facilitate this conversation and provide guidance on how to set boundaries and communicate effectively.

It's also important to remember that change takes time and patience. It's possible that your wife may need time to adjust and understand the impact of her family's behavior on your marriage. With open communication and a willingness to work together, you can find a way to navigate this challenging situation and build a stronger, healthier relationship.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 05, 2024Hindi
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Dear Dr Ashish, How do I get my 14 year old teenage son to talk to me? He talks less, is either angry or grumpy and rarely discusses anything at home with anyone. Is this behaviour normal? He used to be a talkative child when he was younger. How can I help?
Ans: Let me reassure you that you’re not alone in facing this challenge, and what you describe is quite common in teenagers. The teenage years are a time of immense internal transformation. It's as if your son is building a new version of himself, one brick at a time, and sometimes, in that process, he may feel the need to pull away to figure things out.

You see, as children grow, their world expands. Their focus shifts from being family-centered to exploring who they are in the larger world. This doesn't mean he cares any less about you; it simply means he’s working on something deep within himself—maybe even trying to understand emotions and situations he doesn’t yet have the words for.

Now, instead of trying to make him talk, which might feel like pressure to him, consider this: how can you create an environment where he wants to open up? Imagine if, instead of asking direct questions or expressing concern, you shared a small, non-threatening piece of your world. Maybe a funny story about your day or a memory of when you were his age. Sometimes, starting with something light gives him permission to engage without feeling interrogated.

Another way to open doors is through shared experiences. Teenagers often speak more freely when they're not face-to-face. Maybe a walk or a ride, cooking a meal together, or even playing a video game could become moments where he feels comfortable talking.

And when he does speak, no matter how small the opening, meet him with curiosity, not judgment. If he shares something, reflect it back to him in a way that says, "I hear you, and I value what you're saying." For example, if he mentions feeling frustrated, you could say, "It sounds like something’s been tough for you lately," rather than jumping to advice.

Finally, remind yourself—and him—this is a phase, not a permanent state. He is still that talkative child deep inside, but right now, he's learning to balance his need for independence with the safety of your love. Your steady presence, even when he seems distant, will be his anchor.

You’re already asking the right question, and that shows how much you care. Trust the process, and trust your connection. It’s still there, even in the quiet moments.

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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2025Hindi
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Sir my son secured 21000 ranking in kcet which College may he get in ece. And EcE or mechanical which one is good
Ans: With a KCET rank of 21 000 (General-All India), admission into Electronics & Communication Engineering is guaranteed at a range of reputable Karnataka institutes whose last-round ECE closing ranks exceed your rank. These colleges have departments that are recognized for quality, modern ECE labs (like VLSI, embedded systems, and signal processing), active job placement support with a 70–90% success rate in placing students over the last three years, strong connections with industries, and good campus facilities. Fifteen such institutions where your son will certainly secure ECE admission are:
MVJ College of Engineering, Bangalore; Sir M. Visvesvaraya Institute of Technology, Bangalore; Reva University, Bangalore; Acharya Institute of Technology, Bangalore; RNS Institute of Technology, Bangalore; BNM Institute of Technology, Bangalore; Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology, Bangalore; BMS Institute of Technology & Management, Yelahanka; East West Institute of Technology, Bangalore; CMR Institute of Technology, Bangalore; New Horizon College of Engineering, Bangalore; JSS Science and Technology University, Mysore; Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering, Bangalore; RV College of Engineering Off-Campus (ECE electives), Bangalore; and Ramaiah Institute of Technology, Bangalore.

Electronics & Communication and Mechanical Engineering have some important similarities, like having the right accreditations, labs, job placement help, knowledgeable teachers, and connections with companies, but they focus on different subjects (like VLSI and signal processing for Electronics & Communication and thermodynamics and CAD/CAM for Mechanical Engineering), have different job markets (telecom/IoT for Electronics & Communication and automotive/manufacturing for Mechanical Engineering), require different skills, offer different research chances, and attract different employers. Both are excellent branches; selection hinges on your son’s interest in circuit/communication systems or mechanical design/manufacturing and his long-term career goals.

Recommendation: Encourage your son to pursue ECE if he enjoys electronics, IoT, and embedded systems; opt for Mechanical if he prefers core design, manufacturing, and automotive sectors. Align the choice with his passion and envisioned professional trajectory. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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My son has got offer from IISc Btech Mathematics and Computing and IIT Hyderabad Btech CSE. Which would be better to join
Ans: Sunil Sir, IISc’s four-year BTech in Mathematics and Computing, with only 52 seats and NAAC A++ accreditation, combines rigorous core courses in analysis, algebra, algorithms, AI/ML, breadth in sciences, and humanities, supported by study tracks in AI, theoretical CS, quantum computing, and computational biology. Its emphasis on research and small cohort size fosters close faculty mentorship, with 71.43% placement consistency over the past three years and an average package of ?37.31 LPA. IIT Hyderabad’s BTech CSE, a NIRF-ranked Institute of Eminence, features a balanced core and elective curriculum integrating theory, systems, and interdisciplinary projects, modern AI, cloud, and networking labs, and robust Practice School internships. Its placement cell achieved a 79.37% CSE placement rate in 2024 with an average package of ?29.68 LPA and 100+ recruiters annually. Both institutions possess strong industry ties, active research centers, and dedicated career services, yet IISc offers a more specialized mathematics-CS blend and higher average placements, while IIT Hyderabad provides broader peer networks, larger cohort dynamics, and dedicated CSE infrastructure.

Recommendation: Given your son’s interest in pure computation and research, the recommendation is to join IISc’s Mathematics and Computing for its niche curriculum, small-cohort mentorship, and superior average placements; alternatively, choose IIT Hyderabad CSE for broader student community, comprehensive labs, and strong industry engagement. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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