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Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  | Answer  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Feb 08, 2023

Dr Aarti Bakshi is a psychologist licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India.
A school counsellor, she has worked for 15 years with young adults.
She has two PhD degrees -- developmental psychology from Global Institute of Healthcare Management and clinical psychology from Singhania University.
She is on the CBSE panel for counsellors and special educators. She collaborates with SAAR Education to help children develop life skills.
She has authored SEL (social emotional learning) journals for Grades 1-8.... more
Basant Question by Basant on Feb 07, 2023Hindi
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Health

Dr. Aarti, my sons dob is 18/12/2005 and he is in 11class. His problem is that he is not sharing anything with us. not speaking to anybody neither with his friends nor with parents. He is so much anger and irritable that some time he is heating to his mom. He is very much good in studies and got 91 percent in 10th ICSE exam. what should we do for his improvement of communication skill?

Ans: Dear Basant,
1. One-on -One- take your son for a walk/cafe/a drive to help him talk. Forcing him to talk will feel like interrogation to him. Sometimes silence and your presence helps a teen to talk.
2. Ask his friends if anything has happened at school, or has he had a fight with a specific friend.
3. Give him space, show a lot of love but ensure that he is safe. So, no locking of doors, or going out without asking.
4. Switch on his favourite songs.
5. Ask for help from him to solve a problem you may be facing (does not have to be real). Teenagers like to be incharge and helping their parents.
let me know your progress!
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 23, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi My son is 9 years old and since last 6 months we have seen he is not listening to us and same is happening in school and his tuition also he is not restless but he tries to ignore what we say or teacher says which is also impacting his studies and he is not able to concentrate what could be done to regain his listening power
Ans: I understand that this situation is causing you a lot of distress. It's not uncommon for family members to be involved in a newlywed couple's life, but it's important to set healthy boundaries and communicate openly with each other about what is acceptable and what is not.

It's possible that your wife's sisters may not be aware of the impact of their behavior on your marriage, or they may not realize the boundaries they are crossing. Have you tried discussing your concerns with your wife and her sisters in a calm and respectful manner? It's important to express your feelings and set clear boundaries on how much interference you are comfortable with.

In addition, it's important to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about how her family's behavior is affecting your marriage. It may be helpful to seek the assistance of a professional counselor to facilitate this conversation and provide guidance on how to set boundaries and communicate effectively.

It's also important to remember that change takes time and patience. It's possible that your wife may need time to adjust and understand the impact of her family's behavior on your marriage. With open communication and a willingness to work together, you can find a way to navigate this challenging situation and build a stronger, healthier relationship.

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Dear Dr Ashish, How do I get my 14 year old teenage son to talk to me? He talks less, is either angry or grumpy and rarely discusses anything at home with anyone. Is this behaviour normal? He used to be a talkative child when he was younger. How can I help?
Ans: Let me reassure you that you’re not alone in facing this challenge, and what you describe is quite common in teenagers. The teenage years are a time of immense internal transformation. It's as if your son is building a new version of himself, one brick at a time, and sometimes, in that process, he may feel the need to pull away to figure things out.

You see, as children grow, their world expands. Their focus shifts from being family-centered to exploring who they are in the larger world. This doesn't mean he cares any less about you; it simply means he’s working on something deep within himself—maybe even trying to understand emotions and situations he doesn’t yet have the words for.

Now, instead of trying to make him talk, which might feel like pressure to him, consider this: how can you create an environment where he wants to open up? Imagine if, instead of asking direct questions or expressing concern, you shared a small, non-threatening piece of your world. Maybe a funny story about your day or a memory of when you were his age. Sometimes, starting with something light gives him permission to engage without feeling interrogated.

Another way to open doors is through shared experiences. Teenagers often speak more freely when they're not face-to-face. Maybe a walk or a ride, cooking a meal together, or even playing a video game could become moments where he feels comfortable talking.

And when he does speak, no matter how small the opening, meet him with curiosity, not judgment. If he shares something, reflect it back to him in a way that says, "I hear you, and I value what you're saying." For example, if he mentions feeling frustrated, you could say, "It sounds like something’s been tough for you lately," rather than jumping to advice.

Finally, remind yourself—and him—this is a phase, not a permanent state. He is still that talkative child deep inside, but right now, he's learning to balance his need for independence with the safety of your love. Your steady presence, even when he seems distant, will be his anchor.

You’re already asking the right question, and that shows how much you care. Trust the process, and trust your connection. It’s still there, even in the quiet moments.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10071 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 06, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Sir, My home loan is 24.5 LAC. And it's started from last year April 2024, my emi is 30,600 per month for 10 years, if i paid 10 LAC in Jan 2026 it will be beneficial for me or wait for sometime to pay pre closure amount
Ans: Your question is very timely and thoughtful.

You have already completed over one year of EMI payments.

You are also planning a Rs. 10 lakh prepayment in Jan 2026.

This shows strong discipline and intention to reduce debt early.

That is highly appreciated.

Let’s evaluate the benefit from all angles before making the decision.

Let’s assess your EMI schedule, tax benefits, interest savings, and liquidity needs.

We will also look at emotional peace, risk readiness, and overall financial health.

» EMI Tenure and Loan Progress

– Your loan began in April 2024. EMI is Rs. 30,600 for 10 years.

– By Jan 2026, you would have paid 21 EMIs. That is nearly 2 years of repayment.

– You would still have around 99 EMIs pending after Jan 2026.

– Most interest is paid in the first few years. That’s how home loan schedules work.

– So prepayment at this stage can save you substantial interest.

– But, the benefit must be compared with your other financial needs.

– This is not only about saving interest. It is about holistic financial planning.

» Interest Cost Evaluation and Savings Opportunity

– Your home loan interest rate is not mentioned. But let us assume a normal range.

– Most floating-rate loans now charge 8.5% to 9.5% annually.

– Prepaying Rs. 10 lakhs will reduce the outstanding principal sharply.

– As a result, the total interest over the loan period will reduce.

– You may save many lakhs over the long term by doing this early prepayment.

– You will also reduce your EMI period or future EMI amount.

– That helps you become debt-free faster.

– But, timing matters. January 2026 is still over 5 months away.

– You must consider where that Rs. 10 lakhs is now kept.

– Is it earning anything? If kept idle in savings, it gives low returns.

– In that case, prepayment gives better value.

– But if it is growing in mutual funds or long-term instruments, returns may be higher.

– Compare this interest cost versus what you earn from that Rs. 10 lakh.

– You must also think about safety, peace of mind, and future stability.

» Tax Benefits on Home Loan and Prepayment Impact

– Under Sec 24(b), you get deduction of up to Rs. 2 lakhs on home loan interest.

– This reduces your taxable income. Helps especially if you are in the 20% or 30% slab.

– Also, under Sec 80C, you get Rs. 1.5 lakh deduction for principal.

– But that Rs. 1.5 lakh 80C is usually covered by EPF, PPF, insurance, ELSS, etc.

– If you prepay Rs. 10 lakh, your interest in future years may fall.

– Then, the Rs. 2 lakh interest deduction under Sec 24(b) may not be fully used.

– But remember, you are spending Rs. 10 lakhs to save Rs. 2-3 lakhs of tax.

– That alone should not decide the choice.

– Interest saved is usually more than tax benefit lost in the long run.

– Prepayment still makes sense. But only if you are not compromising other goals.

– Always assess tax benefit as a secondary aspect, not the main reason.

» Your Liquidity and Emergency Readiness

– The biggest question is: Will you have enough money left after prepayment?

– Will you still have emergency funds of 6 to 12 months of expenses?

– Will you have cash for job loss, health issues, or family needs?

– Rs. 10 lakh is a big amount. Once paid, you cannot get it back easily.

– Banks do not refund prepayments. So you must be ready for cash crunch.

– If you have other liquid savings of at least Rs. 3 to 5 lakhs, then it is safe.

– But if this Rs. 10 lakh is your full backup, wait before prepaying.

– You must not become asset-rich but cash-poor.

– Also, do not disturb investments set for your long-term goals.

– Check how your mutual funds, PF, PPF, child goals, and retirement are aligned.

– Your financial safety net should never be at risk due to a home loan prepayment.

» Emotional Peace and Debt Reduction Mindset

– Paying off loans early gives peace of mind.

– Mentally, it feels lighter to reduce your EMI burden.

– For many families, freedom from loans matters more than returns from investment.

– If this Rs. 10 lakh is not required for your next 5 years, then prepaying is peaceful.

– But if the same money is helping you sleep better by keeping it in hand, wait.

– Your comfort and security are more important than any math.

– Financial planning is not only numbers. It is also emotional readiness.

– A good Certified Financial Planner balances both head and heart.

– If you feel better seeing lesser EMIs or faster closure, then go ahead with prepayment.

– If you fear losing liquidity or missing opportunities, then wait.

– In either case, the aim is to stay financially strong, not just interest-efficient.

» Other Choices to Use That Rs. 10 Lakh

– If you are not fully prepared for long-term goals, this Rs. 10 lakh may help.

– Retirement corpus, child education, spouse goals — all need investment.

– If those are underfunded, invest this Rs. 10 lakh in mutual funds.

– But not in index funds or direct funds.

– Index funds may look cheap, but they follow the market blindly.

– They underperform in volatile or sideways markets.

– Actively managed mutual funds by experienced managers adapt better.

– Direct funds also seem cheaper on surface.

– But there is no support, guidance, or review.

– Regular plans through a qualified MFD with CFP guidance add long-term value.

– The extra 0.5% cost gives better selection, periodic review, and mistake-avoidance.

– That brings better return than direct, unmanaged investing.

– So if you delay prepayment, don’t keep that Rs. 10 lakh idle.

– Put it to work through a long-term, diversified, tax-aware mutual fund portfolio.

– Match it to your goals, age, and risk appetite.

– Use only debt funds for less than 3 years. Use equity for more than 5 years.

– Also follow the updated capital gains tax rules now in force.

– These will apply when you exit mutual funds later.

– If this Rs. 10 lakh is not required in near future, investing may grow your wealth.

– If this feels unsafe, then home loan prepayment is still a good call.

» Ideal Approach Based on Situation

– If you have no major upcoming expense, then early prepayment is useful.

– If your emergency fund is untouched, then this move is secure.

– If your long-term goals are already funded, prepayment clears debt faster.

– If interest rate is above 9%, prepayment becomes even more beneficial.

– If job is stable and no income interruption is foreseen, go ahead.

– But if any of these are weak or uncertain, do not hurry.

– Wait for 6-12 months. Observe how rates, income, and expenses move.

– Meanwhile, invest that Rs. 10 lakh in a short-term fund with liquidity.

– Let that money earn better than savings account.

– If situation remains strong by Jan 2026, you may prepay with full confidence.

– Else, you can decide again at that point based on comfort and readiness.

– Either way, you are still progressing.

– Both options — prepayment or investing — are productive, if handled with thought.

» Finally

– You are thinking in the right direction. That’s the best start already.

– You are not ignoring the EMI burden. You want to plan ahead.

– That is very encouraging.

– Do not feel forced to prepay or delay.

– The right answer depends on your comfort, liquidity, and goals.

– Early prepayment is good if your financial base is ready.

– But there is no harm in waiting a few more months and reassessing.

– Peace and clarity are more important than urgency.

– You can also take part prepayment route. Pay Rs. 5 lakh in Jan 2026.

– Keep another Rs. 5 lakh for emergency or mutual fund.

– That brings the best of both.

– Stay debt-free, but also stay liquid and goal-focused.

– A Certified Financial Planner can help you model both paths and take balanced action.

– The right move is one that fits your full financial picture — not just the EMI part.

– Keep going strong.

– You are already ahead of many by asking this question today.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10071 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 05, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 35yrs old and my monthly salary is 75k. I am married and I have family health insurance of 10 lakhs, I have a daughter and a son and we are expecting the third child in the month of December. I have started with SIP of 1k 3 months back. I am taking mortgage loan of 30 lakhs on the house for 13 % interest from IIFL kindly suggest me to utilise the loan amount properly in various ways possible to invest. I am planning to utilise for the coaching centre development and 10 lakhs is taken for my brothers kidney transplant treatment expenditure.
Ans: – You are managing family, career, and investments together.
– Starting SIP early is a very positive step.
– Taking responsibility for your brother’s treatment shows great strength.
– Planning coaching centre development is a wise idea.
– Having family health cover is also a good base already.

» Analysing the Loan and Its High Interest Rate

– Rs. 30 lakhs loan at 13% interest is quite costly.
– This means high EMI and high total interest outgo.
– Every rupee must be used carefully to avoid wastage.
– Unused funds from the loan must not sit idle.
– Interest burden will continue regardless of usage.

» Immediate Medical Emergency for Brother

– Rs. 10 lakhs for kidney transplant is necessary and unavoidable.
– Keep this amount fully liquid and easily accessible.
– Use savings account or short-term ultra-safe debt fund.
– Avoid locking this amount in business or market-linked funds.
– Medical treatment should be done on priority basis.

» Business Development – Coaching Centre Use

– This is an opportunity for future income growth.
– Plan expansion only after checking location demand.
– Avoid spending large amount at once.
– Phase out business investments over 6 to 12 months.
– Start with essentials like rent, furniture, and staff salary.
– Don’t overspend on branding or decoration initially.
– Use part of loan in setting up technology and marketing.
– Focus on breakeven as early as possible.

» Avoid Spending Full Loan Immediately

– You are not forced to use all Rs. 30 lakhs now.
– Keep a part of loan in low-risk parking place.
– Use short-term debt fund or liquid fund with no exit load.
– Withdraw when business or medical needs arise.
– Don’t allow funds to lie in savings account earning low interest.

» Do Not Use Any Amount for Consumption

– Don’t use loan money for personal luxury or lifestyle.
– No electronics, jewellery, or vehicles from this loan.
– You are paying 13% interest, use it only for value creation.
– Avoid giving any part of the loan to others as casual support.

» Managing EMI Alongside Household Budget

– EMI on Rs. 30 lakhs at 13% will be heavy.
– Your Rs. 75k salary will face pressure from EMI, SIP, and family.
– Keep fixed monthly expenses under tight control.
– Review all regular spends and cut non-essentials.
– Prioritise needs over wants for the next 2–3 years.
– Increase SIP only once your EMI is manageable.

» Continue SIP with Discipline

– Though amount is small, your SIP builds wealth habit.
– Don’t stop SIP even if budget becomes tight.
– Increase SIP slowly as income rises.
– Choose actively managed funds, not index funds.
– Index funds don’t protect during market fall.
– Active funds adjust to changes and give better protection.

» Direct Funds Are Not Ideal for You

– Avoid investing in direct mutual funds.
– You get no personalised support or guidance there.
– Wrong decisions can damage long-term wealth.
– Invest via regular plans with an MFD and CFP.
– Get full-time advice, updates, and goal tracking help.

» Emergency Fund is Missing

– You must keep Rs. 1–2 lakhs aside for emergencies.
– This should not come from loan amount.
– Build this over next few months from salary savings.
– Use high-liquidity options like liquid mutual funds or sweep FD.

» Child-Related Future Expenses

– You are expecting third child soon.
– Future expenses like education and health will increase.
– Avoid touching SIP or business funds for school fees.
– Plan separate SIPs for kids’ education goal later.
– Maintain health insurance with maternity cover wherever possible.

» Keep Personal and Business Accounts Separate

– Don’t mix business and personal funds.
– Create a separate bank account for coaching centre.
– Record all income and expense in simple format.
– Use business income to slowly repay loan too.

» Loan Repayment Should Be a Priority

– Try to repay part of loan early if possible.
– Business profit can be used to prepay some part.
– Even Rs. 2–3 lakhs paid early will reduce interest burden.
– Don’t wait for full term of loan.
– Avoid taking another loan till this one is cleared.

» Don’t Invest Remaining Loan in Risky Options

– Don’t try to grow loan money via equity investments.
– You are paying 13% interest.
– Most equity returns are not guaranteed and are market linked.
– If returns go down, you still pay full interest.
– Use loan only for fixed needs like business or treatment.

» Avoid Insurance-Cum-Investment Products

– Don’t use loan money for buying ULIPs or endowment plans.
– They give poor returns and lock your money.
– They mix insurance with investment, which is harmful.
– If you already hold such plans, review and consider surrender.
– Use that money in good mutual funds for better results.

» Long-Term Financial Strategy After Loan Use

– Once business is running, start surplus-based SIPs.
– Create specific SIPs for child education and retirement.
– Review insurance needs again after third child is born.
– Don’t over-rely on health cover from employer.
– Take term insurance separately for family safety.

» Monitoring and Support

– Review all goals every 6 months.
– Track loan balance, business income, SIP growth.
– A CFP can support you across all financial areas.
– Work with MFD for implementation and fund advice.

» Finally

– You are taking bold and smart steps under pressure.
– Rs. 10 lakhs for brother’s health is unavoidable.
– Use it only for that and keep it liquid.
– Use balance money gradually for coaching centre.
– Don’t spend full Rs. 30 lakhs in one go.
– Avoid luxury or emotional spending with loan money.
– Keep EMI low by avoiding misuse of loan.
– Continue SIP without fail.
– Avoid index funds and direct funds.
– Use only actively managed mutual funds through MFD.
– Repay loan as early as possible.
– Start new SIPs once income improves.
– Maintain strong financial habits and discipline.
– Your future will surely improve with right planning.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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