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Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  |40 Answers  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Feb 08, 2023

Dr Aarti Bakshi is a psychologist licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India.
A school counsellor, she has worked for 15 years with young adults.
She has two PhD degrees -- developmental psychology from Global Institute of Healthcare Management and clinical psychology from Singhania University.
She is on the CBSE panel for counsellors and special educators. She collaborates with SAAR Education to help children develop life skills.
She has authored SEL (social emotional learning) journals for Grades 1-8.... more
Basant Question by Basant on Feb 07, 2023Hindi
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Dr. Aarti, my sons dob is 18/12/2005 and he is in 11class. His problem is that he is not sharing anything with us. not speaking to anybody neither with his friends nor with parents. He is so much anger and irritable that some time he is heating to his mom. He is very much good in studies and got 91 percent in 10th ICSE exam. what should we do for his improvement of communication skill?

Ans: Dear Basant,
1. One-on -One- take your son for a walk/cafe/a drive to help him talk. Forcing him to talk will feel like interrogation to him. Sometimes silence and your presence helps a teen to talk.
2. Ask his friends if anything has happened at school, or has he had a fight with a specific friend.
3. Give him space, show a lot of love but ensure that he is safe. So, no locking of doors, or going out without asking.
4. Switch on his favourite songs.
5. Ask for help from him to solve a problem you may be facing (does not have to be real). Teenagers like to be incharge and helping their parents.
let me know your progress!
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Dear Doc., My Son falls under handicapped category. he is good in studies and intelligent. Has a postgraduate degree. because of his problem, he likes to stay aloof and stay at home, may be because of his hearing and speech problem. doesn't like to go out and any one visiting us. He is not using his intelligence in concrete work/ manner. Any kind of screen is his best time pass and remains irritated and angry. how to counsel him is our problem, because the moment we try to discuss about his progress, going to job etc. he disengages himself and goes away. please advise.
Ans: It sounds like your son may be struggling with some social and emotional challenges related to his hearing and speech problem, and it's understandable that this could impact his ability to communicate and socialize with others. As a psychologist, I would recommend the following suggestions to help counsel your son:

Validate his feelings: Let your son know that you understand that it can be difficult for him to navigate social situations with his hearing and speech challenges. Validate his feelings and reassure him that he is not alone in feeling this way.

Encourage social interaction: While your son may be comfortable at home, it's important to encourage him to interact with others outside of the home as well. This could be through community events, volunteering, or joining social groups for individuals with similar challenges. Gradually exposing him to new situations can help him build confidence and develop new skills.

Focus on strengths and interests: Encourage your son to pursue his interests and strengths, whether it's in academics, music, or any other area. This can help him develop a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Explore therapy options: Counseling or therapy can be an effective way for your son to work through his challenges and develop coping strategies. Consider exploring therapy options, such as speech therapy, social skills training, or cognitive-behavioral therapy, which can be tailored to meet his specific needs.

Use positive reinforcement: When your son makes progress, offer positive reinforcement and encouragement. Celebrate his accomplishments, even if they are small, to help build his confidence and motivation.

Remember, counseling and support is a process that takes time, patience, and persistence. Be sure to approach your son with empathy and understanding, and work together to develop a plan that supports his well-being and personal growth.
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Hi My son is 9 years old and since last 6 months we have seen he is not listening to us and same is happening in school and his tuition also he is not restless but he tries to ignore what we say or teacher says which is also impacting his studies and he is not able to concentrate what could be done to regain his listening power
Ans: I understand that this situation is causing you a lot of distress. It's not uncommon for family members to be involved in a newlywed couple's life, but it's important to set healthy boundaries and communicate openly with each other about what is acceptable and what is not.

It's possible that your wife's sisters may not be aware of the impact of their behavior on your marriage, or they may not realize the boundaries they are crossing. Have you tried discussing your concerns with your wife and her sisters in a calm and respectful manner? It's important to express your feelings and set clear boundaries on how much interference you are comfortable with.

In addition, it's important to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about how her family's behavior is affecting your marriage. It may be helpful to seek the assistance of a professional counselor to facilitate this conversation and provide guidance on how to set boundaries and communicate effectively.

It's also important to remember that change takes time and patience. It's possible that your wife may need time to adjust and understand the impact of her family's behavior on your marriage. With open communication and a willingness to work together, you can find a way to navigate this challenging situation and build a stronger, healthier relationship.
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Hello Sir, My Son 14 years old studing in 9th Standard has not pay attention in studing, He is sleeping & lazy in all the Periods of School classroom.His body language is very idle & he has very Lazy guy. this is may due to he not eating healty food like, dryfruits, vegetable (eathing Junk Food) instead our so many attempt to do so. Myself & wife do all the attempt to improve him but we are failed in all the attempt. his school marks are only 30 to 40% & we are very much scare that he is going to failed in 9th standared. he also not listing to Teachers & our Advice but only ignore & sometimes arrogant in the argument. we have changes so many classes & private tution to improve in studey & behavour, but all attempts did not work. his only interest in Cricket, watching TV & Mobile. Request to need your valuable advice & tips to make changes in my son.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that your son is struggling in school. It's great that you and your wife are trying to help him. Here are some tips that may help:

1. Encourage healthy habits: Eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly can help improve focus and concentration.

2. Create a study-friendly environment: Make sure your son has a quiet, well-lit space to study. Remove any distractions, such as TV or mobile phones, during study time.

3. Set goals: Work with your son to set achievable goals for his studies. Break down larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks.

4. Reward progress: Celebrate your son's successes, no matter how small. Rewards can be as simple as a favorite meal or activity.

5. Encourage active learning: Encourage your son to take an active role in his learning. This can include asking questions, taking notes, and summarizing what he's learned.

6. Get support: Consider enlisting the help of a tutor or academic coach. They can provide additional support and guidance to help your son succeed.

Remember, every child learns differently, so it may take some time to find what works best for your son. Be patient and supportive, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if needed.
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