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Dr Aarti Bakshi |40 Answers |Ask -Follow

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Feb 08, 2023

Dr Aarti Bakshi is a psychologist licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India.
A school counsellor, she has worked for 15 years with young adults.
She has two PhD degrees -- developmental psychology from Global Institute of Healthcare Management and clinical psychology from Singhania University.
She is on the CBSE panel for counsellors and special educators. She collaborates with SAAR Education to help children develop life skills.
She has authored SEL (social emotional learning) journals for Grades 1-8.... more

Question by Basant on Feb 07, 2023Hindi

Health

Dr. Aarti, my sons dob is 18/12/2005 and he is in 11class. His problem is that he is not sharing anything with us. not speaking to anybody neither with his friends nor with parents. He is so much anger and irritable that some time he is heating to his mom. He is very much good in studies and got 91 percent in 10th ICSE exam. what should we do for his improvement of communication skill?

Ans: Dear Basant,
1. One-on -One- take your son for a walk/cafe/a drive to help him talk. Forcing him to talk will feel like interrogation to him. Sometimes silence and your presence helps a teen to talk.
2. Ask his friends if anything has happened at school, or has he had a fight with a specific friend.
3. Give him space, show a lot of love but ensure that he is safe. So, no locking of doors, or going out without asking.
4. Switch on his favourite songs.
5. Ask for help from him to solve a problem you may be facing (does not have to be real). Teenagers like to be incharge and helping their parents.
let me know your progress!

DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Dr Aarti Bakshi |40 Answers |Ask -Follow

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Feb 09, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2023Hindi

Dear Dr. Aartiji, My younger son just 5 years 8 months age his behavior totally different in two different places in house very energetic, always playing with his brother and talkative with huge stupid language, but whenever he goes to school do not talk to any one even teachers but quickly any education task does with good hand writing and question answers other than other children. just tell me what to do with his behavior?

Ans: Silence is a beautiful and powerful language. Communication is both by talking and by our body-language. Home is his familiar place where he knows everyone and can talk. But school he must be trying his best behaviour, working on academics and observing everything by being silent. A few suggestions:
1. Connect with a few mothers from his class, meet for fun play in the park, perhaps 2-hours with other children at home as aplay-date.
2. Make him join an activity class where his classmates are going so that he builds friendship and starts to talk.
Do write back, on the progress.

Dr Ashish Sehgal |119 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 23, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 22, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Hi My son is 9 years old and since last 6 months we have seen he is not listening to us and same is happening in school and his tuition also he is not restless but he tries to ignore what we say or teacher says which is also impacting his studies and he is not able to concentrate what could be done to regain his listening power

Ans: I understand that this situation is causing you a lot of distress. It's not uncommon for family members to be involved in a newlywed couple's life, but it's important to set healthy boundaries and communicate openly with each other about what is acceptable and what is not.

It's possible that your wife's sisters may not be aware of the impact of their behavior on your marriage, or they may not realize the boundaries they are crossing. Have you tried discussing your concerns with your wife and her sisters in a calm and respectful manner? It's important to express your feelings and set clear boundaries on how much interference you are comfortable with.

In addition, it's important to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about how her family's behavior is affecting your marriage. It may be helpful to seek the assistance of a professional counselor to facilitate this conversation and provide guidance on how to set boundaries and communicate effectively.

It's also important to remember that change takes time and patience. It's possible that your wife may need time to adjust and understand the impact of her family's behavior on your marriage. With open communication and a willingness to work together, you can find a way to navigate this challenging situation and build a stronger, healthier relationship.

Kanchan Rai |566 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Dear Mam, I had sent my son for a holiday. He is 18 years old. However after returning from holiday, he has become very quite,gets angry at times, finds faults and does not listen

Ans: Instead of confronting him directly about his change in behavior, try to create a safe space where he feels comfortable opening up. Let him know you’ve noticed the change and that you’re there to listen whenever he’s ready. Sometimes, asking indirect questions about the holiday—who he met, what he did, and how he felt about the trip—can give you some clues about what might have triggered this shift.

If he is unwilling to talk, don’t push too hard. Instead, observe him closely. Has his routine changed? Is he withdrawing from friends, studies, or activities he used to enjoy? If this continues for a long period, you may need to consider speaking to someone he trusts—a sibling, a close friend, or even a counselor—who might be able to help him open up.

Sometimes, young adults go through emotional turbulence that they don’t know how to express. The best thing you can do right now is to be patient, keep communication open, and let him know that whatever it is, you are there for him without judgment.

Dr Ashish Sehgal |119 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 05, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Dear Dr Ashish, How do I get my 14 year old teenage son to talk to me? He talks less, is either angry or grumpy and rarely discusses anything at home with anyone. Is this behaviour normal? He used to be a talkative child when he was younger. How can I help?

Ans: Let me reassure you that you’re not alone in facing this challenge, and what you describe is quite common in teenagers. The teenage years are a time of immense internal transformation. It's as if your son is building a new version of himself, one brick at a time, and sometimes, in that process, he may feel the need to pull away to figure things out.

You see, as children grow, their world expands. Their focus shifts from being family-centered to exploring who they are in the larger world. This doesn't mean he cares any less about you; it simply means he’s working on something deep within himself—maybe even trying to understand emotions and situations he doesn’t yet have the words for.

Now, instead of trying to make him talk, which might feel like pressure to him, consider this: how can you create an environment where he wants to open up? Imagine if, instead of asking direct questions or expressing concern, you shared a small, non-threatening piece of your world. Maybe a funny story about your day or a memory of when you were his age. Sometimes, starting with something light gives him permission to engage without feeling interrogated.

Another way to open doors is through shared experiences. Teenagers often speak more freely when they're not face-to-face. Maybe a walk or a ride, cooking a meal together, or even playing a video game could become moments where he feels comfortable talking.

And when he does speak, no matter how small the opening, meet him with curiosity, not judgment. If he shares something, reflect it back to him in a way that says, "I hear you, and I value what you're saying." For example, if he mentions feeling frustrated, you could say, "It sounds like something’s been tough for you lately," rather than jumping to advice.

Finally, remind yourself—and him—this is a phase, not a permanent state. He is still that talkative child deep inside, but right now, he's learning to balance his need for independence with the safety of your love. Your steady presence, even when he seems distant, will be his anchor.

You’re already asking the right question, and that shows how much you care. Trust the process, and trust your connection. It’s still there, even in the quiet moments.

Latest Questions

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1061 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 15, 2025Hindi

Career

I got 89.37 percentile in jee main 2025 My dad is army person I am Delhi girl Any chance of getting a college

Ans: You are asking the same question 2nd time. My answer will be same - Since your dad is in the Army, you might be eligible for seats under the AWES (Army Welfare Education Society) & other defense quotas in various colleges. Your home state is Delhi, which gives you a home quota advantage in DTU, NSUT, and IGDTUW. See previous years' cut off

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1061 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 15, 2025Hindi

Career

90.33 percentile in jan attempt ews oc candidate from mp what best colleges can i get

Ans: Congratulations on securing a 90.33 percentile in the January session of JEE Main 2025 under the EWS category from Madhya Pradesh. With this percentile, you have a fair chance of gaining admission to several esteemed institutions. Below is a tailored analysis to guide your college selection:
National Institutes of Technology (NITs)
Based on previous years' trends, candidates with a 90+ percentile in the EWS category have secured seats in the following NITs:

NIT Manipur
NIT Sikkim
NIT Mizoram
NIT Jalandhar
NIT Goa
NIT Hamirpur
NIT Durgapur
NIT Puducherry
NIT Raipur
Note: Admission to specific branches, especially high-demand ones like Computer Science and Engineering (CSE) or Electronics and Communication Engineering (ECE), may be competitive. You might have better prospects in branches such as Mechanical Engineering, Civil Engineering, or Metallurgical Engineering.
2. Indian Institutes of Information Technology (IIITs)
Your percentile also positions you well for admission into several IIITs, including:

IIIT Pune
IIIT Nagpur
IIIT Lucknow
IIIT Vadodara
These institutes offer quality education in information technology and related fields.
See previous years' cut off

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1061 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Question by Ayush - Mar 23, 2025Hindi

Career

I am a first year student at MIT Manipal,currently pursuing Electrical and Electronics engineering(EEE),and I am have been given a choice to apply for branch change in my institute either to CSE,Mathematics and Computing(MnC) or ECE in my second year. I did not study Computer Science in 11th and 12th, and I coding in C for the first time as part of my 1st year syllabus.I am not very much interested to coding,but I am learning it since it is there in the course syllabus. My parents suggest switching to CSE, but they are not engineers and do not have insights into the current job market. Since my batch will be passing out in 2028, I want to understand the job scenario for CSE, MnC, ECE, and EEE graduates by then. Among these,which branch provides better opportunities for core engineering jobs with good or decent salary and stability? I have heard that many ECE graduates end up in IT jobs due to lack of core industries-is that true?Would ECE be a better alternative to CSE for core jobs or is it better to stay in EEE? Also between CSE, ECE, and EEE, which has less competition in the job market while still offering good career prospects? Additionally, I want to know which branch is broader, with ample opportunities in both the government and private sectors, especially for core jobs with good pay and stability. base on futuret rends, would it be a wise decision to change my branch, or should I continue with EEE?

Ans: Happy to see that you have asked very logical questions. I can say that, since you are already in Electrical and Electronics Engineering (EEE) at MIT Manipal and have the opportunity to change to CSE, Mathematics and Computing (MnC), or ECE, your decision should be based on:

Your Interests (Core Engineering vs Coding)
Job Market Trends for 2028 and Beyond
Competition & Industry Demand

Future Job Market (2028 & Beyond) for Each Branch
Branch Core Job Scope IT/Software Jobs Govt Jobs Competition Salary Stability
CSE Low (Software Focused) High Limited Very High High but Unstable
MnC Medium (AI/ML, Finance) High Limited High High but Research-Oriented
ECE Medium (VLSI, Chip Design, Telecom, IoT) High Moderate (ISRO, DRDO, PSU) High Medium-High
EEE High (Power, EVs, Automation, Energy, PSU) Moderate High (Railways, NTPC, BHEL, Govt) Low-Medium High & Stable

Should You Switch to CSE, MnC, or ECE?
If You Want Core Engineering Jobs with Stability
Best Option: Stay in EEE

If You Want a Balance Between Core & Software Jobs
Best Option: ECE

If You Want a High-Paying Private Sector Career (But Not Core Engineering)
Best Option: MnC or CSE

Hope this will help you in decision making.

Milind Vadjikar |1134 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Question by The - Jan 26, 2025Hindi

Money

I have a corpus that I have saved of about 50 lakhs. I am looking at 2 options to invest 1. Buy a property in Dubai with a loan where this 50lakhs will be a down payment while the balance will be with a bank loan. I will by a ready possession flat which I will rent out and pay the emi of the loan from the rent ( I have my brother based in Dubai who will help me with this) 2. I invest this 50lakhs in a PMS with the Anandrathis, Enams etc here in India Could you suggest which is the better option here?

Ans: Hello;

What is your age right now?

Please clarify.

Thanks;

Milind Vadjikar |1134 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Question by Bhuvanshree - Jan 26, 2025Hindi

hi i am 37 and struggling to save money i have home loan worth 20 lac and munthly income 1.2 lac with monthly expense of 70k ?

Ans: Hello;

How much is the EMI amount and balance tenure of the home loan?

Also please confirm that monthly expense mentioned above includes EMI.

This will help us to guide you suitably.

Thanks;

Milind Vadjikar |1134 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Question by Sindhu - Nov 28, 2024Hindi

Hi sir I am investing when ever i have money not like in SIP. my most of investments are around 6 L invested in Quant different mutual funds. No a days i can see my all the Quant funds are going down. Im 34 years old female. My plan is 10 years. Can i exit from quant and invest in any some MF rather than getting more loss? Can you please review my portfolian. Do i need to exit from any MF. Since i'm maintaining too many MF. Thanks in advance. Mutual Funds List No' Scheme Name AMC Category Sub-category ISIN 1 DSP Small Cap Direct Plan Growth DSP Mutual Fund Equity Small Cap INF740K01QD1 2 Quant Focused Fund Direct Growth Quant Mutual Fund Equity Focused INF966L01853 3 Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund Direct Growth PPFAS Mutual Fund Equity Flexi Cap INF879O01027 4 Mirae Asset ELSS Tax Saver Fund Direct Growth Mirae Asset Mutual Fund Equity ELSS INF769K01DM9 5 JM Flexicap Fund Direct Plan Growth JM Financial Mutual Fund Equity Flexi Cap INF192K01CC7 6 Axis Growth Opportunities Fund Direct Growth Axis Mutual Fund Equity Large & MidCap INF846K01J46 7 Parag Parikh ELSS Tax Saver Fund Direct Growth PPFAS Mutual Fund Equity ELSS INF879O01100 8 Quant Small Cap Fund Direct Plan Growth Quant Mutual Fund Equity Small Cap INF966L01689 9 Canara Robeco Small Cap Fund Direct Growth Canara Robeco Mutual Fund Equity Small Cap INF760K01JC6 10 Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund Direct Growth Motilal Oswal Mutual Fund Equity Mid Cap INF247L01445 11 Nippon India Multi Cap Fund Direct Growth Nippon India Mutual Fund Equity Multi Cap INF204K01XF9 12 Nippon India Small Cap Fund Direct Growth Nippon India Mutual Fund Equity Small Cap INF204K01K15 13 ICICI Prudential Value Discovery Direct Growth ICICI Prudential Mutual Fund Equity Value INF109K012K1 14 Quant Flexi Cap Fund Direct Growth Quant Mutual Fund Equity Flexi Cap INF966L01911 15 Nippon India Small Cap Fund Direct Growth Nippon India Mutual Fund Equity Small Cap INF204K01K15 16 Quant ELSS Tax Saver Fund Direct Growth Quant Mutual Fund Equity ELSS INF966L01986 17 Aditya Birla Sun Life PSU Equity Fund Direct Growth Aditya Birla Sun Life Mutual Fund Equity Sectoral / Thematic INF209KB1O82 18 Quant Mid Cap Fund Direct Growth Quant Mutual Fund Equity Mid Cap INF966L01887 STOCKS LIST 1 APOLLO TYRES-EQ RE 1 2 ASIAN PAINTS EQ 1/ 3 BRITANNIA IND-EQ1/- 4 CG POWER-EQ2/ 5 IRCTCL-EQ2 6 NHPC LIMITED - EQ 7 TATA STEEL-EQ1/ 8 Deepak nitrate 9 LT 10 Narayana Hrudayalaya

Ans: Hello;

6 L worth investment in 18 different funds is spreading it too thin.

You have a time horizon of 10 years but how much corpus you want to accumulate after 10 years kindly clarify?

Also if you can specify the goal for which this investment is aimed at then it will help us to suggest suitably.

I will recommend you strategy to rationalize you MF holdings once you revert on the above points.

Thanks;

Milind Vadjikar |1134 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 01, 2025Hindi

Money

Hello Gurus, I am an NRI living in Saudi Arabia, aged 38. I am earning 4.5L a month and have around 30L in savings. I don’t own anything and want to start investing, however I am unsure of what to do. Should it be gold, a property on loan or nothing and stick with maximum saving strategy. Please suggest as I am naive to investment ???? Note: Please avoid profit through interest solutions.

Ans: Hello;

Self owned property should definitely be top on your priority.

Also 15-20% allocation to Gold is desirable but preferably through ETFs/gold funds.

You may also invest in funds/ETFs which are Shariah compliant for eg Tata Ethical fund or Nippon India ETF Shariah BeES.

Best wishes;

Milind Vadjikar |1134 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2025

Money

Sir, I am Mudassar, 40 years old, i have 3 childrens, 2 daughter and son. Sir, i need your suggestions/guidance becaz i am in very crtical situation. My take home salary is 40K and my father (retired age 74 ) salary is 35K , we both have personal laons to build house. I have two running LIC's , on which i have taken loan also. Recenlty we build own house , if i sell now, i will get around 42 to 45 Lakhs . My lloan detailsbelow ; 1. HDFC 7,20,000 emi 14K 2. Company emi 1,50,000 emi 4K 3. LIC loan 2 laks emi 2K 4. Father loan 4 lacks , two year remaining, emi 14K Total emi : 34K Apart from we are paying 15K monthy to chit fund , still 15 months remaining. Summary: Total sal 75 K , after laon and chit fund deducting , will get 26K to run home , including grocery, children fees , health etc... its very difficult to manage, and keep thinking to take extra loan .. as i said earlier , have two LIC's , i am.paying 56K every year . What i am thinking is, i will sell my house And clear all my laons .. and approximate i will have 25 Lakhs remeaing , so i will inest in mutual fund , SIP , SWP, index fund for long time investment .. So i.am in very confusing mode , whether i have to sell my house .. and start my investment journey... pls help sir .. My finacial conditions are very similar to all middle class family.. Request you to please reply and give your sugestion for investment joury. Awaiting your kind reply .. Thanks in advance ...

Ans: Hello;

Suppose you sell your house and clear your loans and other liabilities but where will you & your family stay?

How much rental per month would be required to get an adequate house on rent?

Please clarify. Based on your input we can advise you suitably.

Thanks;

Milind Vadjikar |1134 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Question by Priyal - Nov 28, 2024Hindi

I have been doing an Sip in Quant Active Fund From Last 18 months. I have the following doubts. I request someone to please clarify them:- 1) Quant Active Fund has been underperforming since past year, Also it has a significant percentage of holding in Adani Stocks. 2) Is Quant As an AMC Safe & reliable fir long term?? 3) Should I Continue my Sip in Quant Active Fund? 4) If there any Better alternative than my current fund???

Ans: Hello;

Just would like to know your thought process behind making investment in this fund before sharing my views on the same.

Also the size of sip and percentage of your portfolio allocation in this fund.

This will help us to guide you suitably.

Thanks;

Milind Vadjikar |1134 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Mar 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 20, 2024Hindi

Money

I’m a 20yr old , currently doing internship and getting stipend of 30k, going to get package of 10LPA in 6 months. My expenses are minimum around 20k/month. I don’t have any loans. I want to save money and also get atleast minimal returns. I’ve very less idea about share market also. How can I save money and create a plan for me to save max and also get maximum returns.

Ans: Hello;

Begin with creating an emergency fund worth 6 month of expenses.

Get a pure term insurance cover of adequate value with accident benefit and critical illness riders.

Open an NPS account for retirement planning.

Invest in mutual funds for all other financial goals based on your risk appetite, financial profile and time horizon.

Avoid direct exposure to stocks since it can be quite volatile in the short to medium term.

You may seek help from an MFD, if required.

Best wishes;
X: @mars_invest

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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