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Anu Krishna |825 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 06, 2021

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by VC on Sep 06, 2021Hindi

Relationship

I am in a very difficult situation I am not getting what to do so I am writing you this mail for your suggestion.

I was in love from 6years our love life was very good . We were very happy and promised to get married also but suddenly my boyfriend said we can’t marry because of his family issues so I accepted that with a big heart. He asked me to marry another guy I accepted that also. And after some days my marriage got fixed with another guy and I got married also.

But soon after my marriage my boyfriend realised my love and started crying.

He started calling me and soon after 2 days of my marriage he was continuously calling me and this created a very big problem.

My husband saw his calls and msgs and started chatting with my boyfriend pretending to be me only. They both talked and my boyfriend told my husband everything about our past things.

My husband got angry he started beating me getting angry on me started following me and due to all this he left me.

After my husband left me I called my boyfriend and said: Now my husband left me so what to do. You are also not accepting me.

My boyfriend said: I don't have anything to do with you I don't need you at all and plz go away from my life. Now I don’t know what to do. Can you plz help me or guide me.

Ans: Dear V, I can only imagine what you are going through.

One man (husband) judges your situation and as hard as it is for any person, it would have been great if he didn’t play peeping Tom and instead confronted you to work things out with you. And the other man (boyfriend) dumps you in sheer fright and runs for his life.

Do you seriously want to beg either of them for a place in their lives?

They have both displayed total lack of maturity! But in their defense, they have felt cheated and not known how to deal with the situation. BUT nothing justifies physical abuse…

I do work with couples to bring them together where it seems possible. Reconciliation with your husband is possible both of you choose that path. Involve a senior member from both sides of the family and bring it to a neutral place; shedding egos along the way.

Work with a Marriage Therapy expert who can then help you re-evaluate your priorities and put things in perspective.

Work as a team (if both of you want that) and rebuild the marriage. It might seem like a lot of work, but it’s possible…So, move in that direction if you see that glimmer of hope as well.

Best wishes.

RelationshipReply

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Love Guru |187 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 25, 2022

Question by Anonymous - Aug 25, 2022Hindi

Relationship

Hello love guru. I wanted to know if I am wrong or right. As my husband has blocked me from phone by all means and do not even talk to me, so what should I do? I am working far from my Father in laws home where he stays with his brother (divorcee). He is not working and I am working and taking care of two daughters. Whenever he comes here, he fight a lot saying insane and sarcastic words to me. Since two and half months he stayed with us and left us (though he sometimes talk to my daughters only). I feel alone and nobody is there to support me or even talk to me for my emotional support. Now somebody has started talking to me and even I started, I really do not know what to do. Kindly guide. I told this to my husband also and he says whatever you wish you do.. I do not know why he says like this..He did not even tried to search a job where I am working, but when he went to inlaws there he started searching interestingly. If we do not talk then how our relation will continue being husband. Also I found many times that he keep on searching call girls from his mobile phone search history and even his friends at inlaws told me that they saw girl accompanying him..but even I want to forget all these things as I found my daughters feel happy to talk to him..but what about my emotions and my physical needs..who will take care of if this keep on continued...as after marriage I found no happy-happy situations for me atleast..he says he lost all his jobs because of me..But all baseless objections...and blames me, harms me by beating also some times..I some times cry alone... but this is not the life I expected after working so hard...I also used to pay him all money whatever he and whenever he demnaded.. I paid more than 10 lakhs of savings to him till date and did not even ever counted..he also stolen all gold from home without even asking me..I want to forgive him for all but when he is not interested in talking to me and just ignores me then how and why I should continue with him..just because he is my husband..or should I remarry to someone who is really willing to marry me...knowing all these things..or should I dont? As a mother of two daughters I sometimes think..that my only responsibility is to upbring my daughters...but then I also needs someone's emotional support...though economically independent..I also said to him to give me alimony as he does not pay anything to me and also file for divorce...as even I have a right to live happily...kab tak aise hi aansu bahau uske liye jisne mujhe block hi kar rakha hai from phone? I am confused please help me out!!

Ans: You have a husband who is an unemployed, good-for-nothing bum, who doesn't show you respect, steals from you, lives apart from you, likes to associate with call girls, blames you for his failures, beats you and doesn't care if you have an affair. He ‘talks to your daughters sometimes’. Honey, you need to be emailing a divorce lawyer, not this column. And do it immediately. Yes, you're more than just a mother and you do deserve emotional support. You should cut him loose immediately.

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Anu Krishna |825 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 01, 2023

Question by P - Mar 10, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Hi I am 38 year married woman with one 12yr boy and living in joint family. I am doing everything very honestly and sincerely as a lady does as housewife but I never got love respect as wife from my husband and few years after our marriage I had seen changes in his behavior and day by day he is getting very rude towards me. So I decided to enquire the reason behind these and came to know that he is having affairs with someone whom he is treating as his wife and giving everything to her as his wife and also wants her to get married. I told these to both of our parents and after talking with him he assured of not continuing the affair. But after that incident I had not seen any change in his behavior and still acting in the same way. I told these to my parents but because of some compulsion we both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is but these is very difficult for me to accept these and continue these relationship. In my schooldays I likes a boy, we love each other but after my marriage we had never been in contact with each other and he also not contacted me respecting my decision.But after these incident and during Corona I contacted him to know how he is and came to know that he is still unmarried and waiting for me and I told him about my married life.As he loves me very much and still wants me as his wife and told me that he will accept me as I am. As I also loves him a lot and after knowing that he is still waiting for me its become very difficult for me live without him as now i doesn’t feel complete without him. I remain honest in my married life but after these incident I dont want to live here and also unable to leave because of family condition and also because of the society we lived in. We shares everything with each other . He respects me and my feelings and loves me a lot and I feel that he is always there for her and will support me in all respect. Kindly guide me what shall I do.

Ans: Dear P,
It is unfortunate that you had to snoop around and find out about your husband's affair.
And it is understandable that you are trying to ease the pain but HOW?

The way the mind responds is to immediately move away from pain to feel better. But that doesn't mean you jump into another relationship. It is not healthy. This person from your past can be a good friend who can support you as you go through your marriage challenges and decisions that you might eventually make. take time to get to know each other. Who you knew him in the past, may not be the person who he is now. Priorities change, situations change.
Do not assume the same attraction till you have given each other the time and space with each other to gauge this. Even a bit of care and attention will seem like attraction especially when you have a husband who is being just the opposite.
So, my suggestion is to start on a friendly note and see how it grows first before thinking of a committed relationship AND don't forget you have a child too. Your friend will have to understand that if he accepts you, he also needs to be willing to take responsibility to treat your son as his. So, go slow and don't let this connection become a mere distraction. You will both end up spoiling it and you would not done anything to fix your marriage as well.
Does this make sense? You probably wanted a better response from me to get a go-ahead. I can't do that as it will just bring you more heartbreak. Close one door to be able to walk through another one confidently.

All the best!

(more)

Anu Krishna |825 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 17, 2023

Question by P - Mar 17, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Hi I am 38 year married woman with one 12yr boy and living in joint family. I am doing everything very honestly and sincerely as a lady does as housewife but I never got love, respect as wife from my husband and few years after our marriage I had seen changes in his behavior and day by day he is getting very rude towards me. So I decided to enquire the reason behind these and came to know that he is having affairs with someone whom he is treating as his wife and giving everything to her as his wife and also wants to marry her. I told these to our parents and after talking with him he assured of not continuing the affair. But after that incident I had not seen any change in his behavior and still acting in the same way. I told these to my parents but because of some compulsion I decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is but these is very difficult for me to accept these and continue these relationship. In my schooldays I likes a boy, we love each other but after my marriage we had never been in contact with each other and he also not contacted me respecting my decision.But after these incident I contacted him to know how he is and came to know that he is still unmarried and waiting for me and I told him about my married life.As he loves me very much and still wants me as his wife and told me that he will accept me as I am. As I also loves him a lot and after knowing that he is still waiting for me its become very difficult for me live without him . I remain honest in my married life but after these incident I dont want to live here and also unable to leave because of family condition and also because of the society we lived in but now its became very difficult for me to continue these married life. We shares everything with each other . He respects me and my feelings and loves me a lot and I feel that he is always there for me and will support me in all respect. Kindly guide me what shall I do.

Ans: Dear P.
Never use a current situation to justify a new relationship. You are simply using the new relationship as a distraction from the old unsuccessful one.
Any reason why you had decided to accept your husband's affair?

You have not moved past your marriage to be able to handle another relationship. First things first...
1. What happens to your son in this confusion?
2. Have you decided to separate/divorce your husband before pursuing the new person?
3. Is the new person willing to accept your son and understand that he is a part of all this?
4. Are you living some unfulfilled dream with this man from your past?
5. Are you running away from the pain of your marriage and seeking solace in the new person?

Kindly answer these questions before you jump from one relationship to another. It will save you a lot of heartache and trouble.
Relationships are not something to be used to escape from and into BUT something to be grown into and grown from.

All the best!

(more)

Kanchan Rai |169 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 05, 2023

Question by P - Apr 05, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Hi I am 38 year married woman with one 12yr boy and living in joint family. I am doing everything very honestly and sincerely as a lady does as housewife but I never got love respect as wife from my husband and few years after our marriage I had seen changes in his behavior and day by day he is getting very rude towards me. So I decided to enquire the reason behind these and came to know that he is having affairs with someone whom he is treating as his wife and giving everything to her as his wife and also wants her to get married. I told these to both of our parents and after talking with him he assured of not continuing the affair. But after that incident I had not seen any change in his behavior and still acting in the same way. I told these to my parents but because of some compulsion we both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is but these is very difficult for me to accept these and continue these relationship. In my schooldays I likes a boy, we love each other but after my marriage we had never been in contact with each other and he also not contacted me respecting my decision.But after these incident and during Corona I contacted him to know how he is and came to know that he is still unmarried and waiting for me and I told him about my married life.As he loves me very much and still wants me as his wife and told me that he will accept me as I am. As I also loves him a lot and after knowing that he is still waiting for me its become very difficult for me live without him as now i doesn’t feel complete without him. I remain honest in my married life but after these incident I dont want to live here and also unable to leave because of family condition and also because of the society we lived in. We shares everything with each other . He respects me and my feelings and loves me a lot and I feel that he is always there for me and will support me in all respect. Kindly guide me what shall I do

Ans: Dear P
Dear P

Big hugs

It sounds like you are in a very difficult and complex situation. Your husband's behavior towards you is not acceptable, and it is understandable that you feel hurt and unsupported in your marriage. It is also understandable that you have feelings for someone from your past who has always been respectful of your marriage and who now wants to be with you.

However, it's important to remember that any decision you make will have consequences, and it's important to carefully consider all the potential outcomes before making a choice. It's also important to think about what is best for you and your son, as well as for the other people involved.

Here are a few things to consider:

Talk to a professional: It may be helpful to speak with a therapist or counselor to help you sort through your feelings and make a decision that is right for you. A professional can provide an objective perspective and help you explore your options.

Think about your priorities: Consider what is most important to you in your life. Do you want to prioritize your own happiness and pursue a relationship with the person you love, or do you want to prioritize your family and the stability of your current living situation?

Consider the impact on your son: Think about how any decision you make will impact your son. Will he be able to adjust to a new living situation, and how will he be affected by your decision to leave your current marriage?

Talk to your husband: If you haven't already, it may be helpful to have an honest conversation with your husband about how his behavior has made you feel and what you need from him in order to feel supported and respected in your marriage.

Think about the long-term: Consider the long-term implications of any decision you make. How will it impact your financial situation, your relationships with family members, and your own emotional well-being?

Ultimately, the decision about what to do is yours, and it's important to make a choice that feels right for you. Just remember to take your time, think carefully, and seek support from those you trust.

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Ans: It's unfortunate that you're facing this situation with your former employer. Gather all relevant documentation related to your employment, including your appointment letter, emails, WhatsApp messages, and any other communication regarding salary payments and promises made by the company. Having a record of these interactions will be crucial for any potential legal action. Reach out to the company via email or written correspondence to remind them of the outstanding salary payments and request immediate settlement of your dues. Clearly outline the amount owed, the period for which you worked without compensation, and any promises or assurances made by the company regarding payment. If the company fails to respond or refuses to settle your dues, consider seeking legal advice from a labor lawyer or legal aid organization. They can assess your situation, advise you on your rights and options, and help you take appropriate legal action to recover your unpaid wages. Depending on the jurisdiction and labor laws in your area, you may have the option to file a formal complaint or grievance with the relevant labor department or regulatory authority. Provide them with all relevant documentation and information about your case, and they may investigate the matter and take action against the company if warranted. If you see other employees are also affected by unpaid wages or mistreatment by the company, then consider organizing collectively to amplify your voices and increase pressure on the company to resolve the issue. This could involve forming a group, sharing information and resources, and coordinating efforts to seek redress through legal channels or public advocacy. Throughout this process, it's important to protect your rights and avoid taking any actions that could jeopardize your legal standing or future claims against the company. Keep records of all communications, consult with legal experts, and be prepared to assert your rights if necessary. Stay informed about any developments related to the company, including changes in ownership, financial status, or legal proceedings. This information may affect your ability to recover unpaid wages or seek other forms of recourse.

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It's been a year since I completed my engineering in mechanical engineering. I am currently unemployed. I keep sending resume through LinkedIn, indeed, monster. I only get rejection replies. I have lost confidence in everything. What i specialised and has more interest is mechanical design and simulation, but majority companies prefer experienced candidates. For my other plans to work out i initially needed a job for money as well as for experience. It's very depressing and i am kind of letting go my dreams. I feel I am very incapable of even find a job after a course. What difference do I make with those who took a year off to clear remaining arrears.

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I am 61 years old. I regularly get my Cholesterol and Uric Acid checked. For last 2 years the results are almost same. My UA is 7.40mg/DL & Cholesterol is 228 md/DL. I do not have any side effects. I do daily exercises and also try to restrict the diet. Please advice what all things I should do to control these the readings as the results are not varying.

Ans: Maintaining consistency in diet control and adapting lifestyle modifications is the key to a healthy body. For controlling cholesterol levels, follow a diet rich in fiber which acts as a scavenger to remove accumulated cholesterol in the blood vessels. Thus include fresh fruits, vegetables and whole grains in your daily diet. Inclusion omega 3 fatty acids that help in lowering LDL is helpful. Concentrated foods like sweets, chocolate cakes, pastries, ice creams and fried foods should be avoided. Animal foods, should be restricted in quantity. For lowering blood uric acid levels, avoid meats such as organ meat, seafood and high fructose foods or sweetbreads, which have high purine levels and contribute to high blood levels of uric acid. Limit the intake of vegetables with moderate purine content such as spinach, cauliflower and mushrooms.

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I want to purchase auto insurance for my Maruti Ertiga which I purchased two years ago. Which auto insurance policy will best look after my interests in the event of an accident which could lead to fatalities or lead me permanently disabled? I want to choose an auto insurance policy that will take care of hospitalisation as well as permanent disability.

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Comprehensive Coverage:

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Additional Coverage for Permanent Disability and Hospitalisation:

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Here's what to consider when choosing an insurance provider:

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Popular Car Insurance Providers in India:

• Acko General Insurance
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Nutritionist, Diabetes Educator - Answered on Apr 28, 2024

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If we have high blood sugar. Then is it not good to avoid meal and go for fasting . To normalise sugar level. Because anti diabetic drug makes pancreas to release more insulin. Whereas body does not need so high sugar. So is it not better to first skip meal so that sugar becomes normal on its own. Because insulin release by drug stimulation is useless because thee is no requirement of excess sugar by the body. But doctors simply prescribe drug . They do not say that one must try to normalise sugar by reducing food intake. Pl. Clarify ?

Ans: Yes dietary and lifestyle management along with proper medication is very important!!

Incase of fasting, you need to do it under proper medical guidance!

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Nutritionist, Diabetes Educator - Answered on Apr 28, 2024

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My Hba1c is 6.2. Suggestion is required for diet plan.

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- Early dinner
- Quality sleep
- manage stress

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Nutritionist, Diabetes Educator - Answered on Apr 28, 2024

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i am 49 my diadities is 264.4 fasting & 389.2 post prandial also in urine it 's Present both the time

Ans: Please see a Diabetologist!
You will require medicine support along with dietary and lifestyle changes!

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Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan |62 Answers |Ask -Follow

Physiotherapist - Answered on Apr 28, 2024

Question by Mahesh - Mar 28, 2024Hindi

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Greetings Doctor!!I am 50 year/Male/67 is my weight/160cms height./NO BP/SUGAR. Doctor I am walking,jogging,doing yoga,pranayam,Surya namaskar,so totally 75-90mnts i spend on workout.Please suggest are these enough to keep myself FIT,Also i have belly fat normal look,I still want to increase my immunity.Kindly suggest

Ans: You're doing well. At this point, I recommend maintaining regular visits to your doctor to monitor your heart and blood pressure status.

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