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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |545 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 29, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 20, 2025
Relationship

My Boyfriend is not really the Controlling type. But, sometimes, he disapproves of some things which I do. In such cases, he communicates his Disapproval indirectly saying "I don't like you Dressing up like this Boldly. But still, if that's what you want, you may go ahead & Dress up as you'd like to, I have no Right to prevent you from doing so, but I will be Disappointed if you do." or "I don't want you to go out or hang out with these particular people (some of my close Male Friends). You have all the Freedom to interact with whoever you want to, but I will be Hurt, if you are too Close to your other Male Friends." Most of the time, I compromised & avoided Dressing up too Boldly, avoided Partying/Travelling with some of my Close Male Friends & avoided some other things which he wouldn't approve of, just for the sake of maintaining our Relationship. But recently, I tried to Test, how he'd react, if I deliberately do something which he doesn't like. So, on New Year's Day, I dressed up in revealing Clothes that he would never approve of & Partied wildly, all Night & even got Drunk with some of my Close Male Friends, with whom, he wants me to maintain Distance. He stubbornly refused to come for Partying with me, because I Dressed up too Boldly & refused to change them, even after he expected me to do so. He didn't even want me Drinking/Partying with some of my Close Male Friends. But I Respected the Boundaries of our Relationship & throughout the Night, I kept my Boyfriend informed about my Whereabouts, so that he's Reassured that I am not Cheating on him. But ever since then, he's been Treating me rather Coldly. He's being Indifferent to me, without Questioning me much, the way he always used to. He's just maintaining normal Communication without being Flirtatious, as he used to. And the Sex has also become quite Mechanical without much Romance, unlike how Passionate he used to be, earlier. I've tried talking to him, but he just keeps lying that he isn't Upset with me. Now I am Feeling really Guilty for whatever I had done on New Year's Day, even though, I don't think I did anything Wrong. Was it really Wrong on my Part, to do something which I always liked to, but my Boyfriend didn't want me to? Or is my Boyfriend Wrong, here? What do I do now? Please advise me.

Ans: Your boyfriend may not be outright controlling, but his way of expressing disapproval carries an emotional weight that influences your decisions. Instead of setting hard rules, he uses disappointment as a tool to make you reconsider your choices. You’ve willingly compromised in the past to keep the relationship smooth, but it seems that over time, those compromises have started to weigh on you. Testing his reaction on New Year’s may have been your subconscious way of reclaiming your autonomy, but now you’re left with unintended consequences—his emotional withdrawal.

The real issue here isn’t about who is right or wrong, but rather, whether your values and expectations in this relationship truly align. You shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to dress a certain way, go out, or spend time with friends. At the same time, he isn’t necessarily wrong for having personal boundaries and feelings about certain situations. However, the way both of you are handling these differences is leading to deeper emotional disconnect rather than honest resolution.

Your actions on New Year’s were a test, but they weren’t a betrayal. You still kept him informed and stayed within the boundaries of your commitment. But from his perspective, it likely felt like a deliberate challenge to what he considers the foundation of your relationship. His withdrawal isn’t just about what you did—it’s about what it represents to him. He might be questioning whether you truly respect his feelings, just as you might be questioning whether he truly respects your independence.

Instead of focusing on guilt, the real question is whether you’re both willing to openly communicate and find a middle ground that allows you to be yourself without feeling restricted, while also respecting his emotions without feeling controlled. Avoid blaming or justifying—have a real conversation about how both of you felt after that night, what it means for your relationship, and whether you can move forward in a way that feels right for both of you. If neither of you can meet in the middle without resentment, then it’s important to consider whether this relationship is fulfilling for both of you in the long run.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1526 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2022

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Hello... I have been in a relationship since 10 years, not yet married.My boyfriend is okay in all ways. But there is something that's bothering me a lot. Whenever he is with his friends or family I just get angry and scold him whatever I like. I don't like if he talks very close to his friends (male friends) or family. He is trying his best to keep me happy, but I'm feeling insecure when he is with his friends and family.To be honest even if he gives more importance and value to his family that makes me feel more angry.I'm unable take this anymore.After fights even I think why did I did like this, what's wrong with me?I question myself after a fight. I even think that I won't be doing this next time because even friends and family are important but it's doesn't work and he is fed up with me.Whenever he is with friends or his family, I create something that's not true.End of the day I'm crying, I'm loosing my happiness.Waiting for an answer
Ans:

Dear PS,

What are you worried about? That by spending time away from you or not involving you when he is in a social setting, he might forget you or move away from you?

After 10 years, why do you feel the need to cling on to him in insecurity and anxiety?

Time to give yourself some love and attention?

Become your best friend and pamper yourself with a lot of care instead of constantly expecting it from your relationship?

The more you become safe and secure with yourself, the less you will cling onto your partner.

Clinging on and ‘owning’ another person will only make them move away from you as no one likes to be controlled and dictated to.

Instead, why don’t you ask him about his day and who he met up with and genuinely try and integrate into his life?

In this way, he will want to engage more with you and invite you when he is with his friends and family?

When you watch him interact with others, instead of feeling insecure and jealous, can you think of appreciating what he has brought into your life and why the two of you have been together for 10 years?

Also, involve him into your life and life’s journey.

Playing the victim involves a lot of drama, but playing a liberated person involves no effort.

So love yourself and love your partner for who he is.

The change in your relationship and your state of mind will be almost magical.

Enjoy the moment and be happy!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |528 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 08, 2024

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Relationship
Before my birthday came me and my boyfriend used to talk very romantically and was obsessed with eachother ..he was planning something special for my birthday as surprise present for me but I didn't knew about this ..later he asked me for a night stay with him on my birthday as he's also leaving for his home from his hostel on the next very day of my birthday but due to some family reason I couldn't make time for him on my birthday and i cancelled it because I had to idea of him planning something special for me...From that day he's upset with me and is not talking to me properly I even apologized him so many times and he didn't even meet me before going home..and now he's in his home for 10 days ahead...some days back he told me that his parents is little bit strict so it will be tough for him to have phone calls with me infront of them so he won't be able to make time for me to talk in his home and i understood it...now he's not even picking up my calls and his reply takes 7-8 hours to respond and is still upset with me ...i don't what should I do now i somehow feel like he's lose interested in me and finding someone else or he's really busy spending time with his parents as he's away from his home for year.
Ans: Dear Maria,

Give him the benefit of the doubt; maybe he is prioritizing his parents- like you mentioned, he is visiting home after a year. It is also possible that he is trying to do what you did to him on your birthday- you chose your family over him and now he's doing the same. But all of these are theories and it isn't fair to assume. If you have a strong gut feeling that he is ignoring you intentionally, then express your concerns verbally. You will get some clarity from his answer and tone.

Coming to your birthday chaos, I understand he might have been hurt because you couldn't make time for him. But what's done is done and you have said your quota of sorries too. You can only apologize genuinely so many times; after that, it is just forced. Let him cool down, things might get better on their own. But if it doesn't, just talk to him. Communication is important in a relationship.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1526 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 18, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
As a concerned parent, I am deeply troubled by the recent tragic incident involving a Nepali student at KIIT. Given the reports of unrest and safety concerns, what can we as parents do to ensure the well-being of our children who study in other states? How can parents be assured that such incidents will be prevented in the future?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It has been a very disturbing incident indeed and as parents it can set off a string of thoughts on children's safety.
As parents what can be done is:
1. Reassure your child that whatever the situation, you are there for them! Just knowing this can ease them in terms of having an open channel of communication with you.
2. Also, being in touch with them not just out of worry BUT to genuinely inspire them can keep them in a motivated space.
3. A semblance of a schedule of visits from either side will ensure that they are always connected with family
4. Encouraging them to pursue cultural events/sports will give them a chance at being in larger groups so they never feel lonely or can't be singled out
5. If your child is someone who is quieter and prefers to be by themselves most times, have regular conversations with them.

There's only so much that you can do as a parent; but I firmly believe and have seen in my experiences while working with youngsters: The ones who have strong family support usually seem to most likely struggle less through these unknown challenges.
And one more thing: Tell them as often as you can: You are loved!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1526 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Pushpa

Pushpa R  |54 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2025Hindi
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Health
I’m a 60-year-old woman with stiff joints and limited flexibility. Can yoga help me improve my mobility and reduce joint pain?
Ans: Yes, yoga can help you improve mobility, reduce joint pain, and increase flexibility, even at 60. Gentle yoga movements, breathing exercises, and relaxation techniques can make your body feel lighter and more comfortable.

How Yoga Helps with Joint Pain & Stiffness
? Improves Blood Circulation – Keeps joints nourished and reduces stiffness.
? Enhances Flexibility – Slow, mindful stretches improve movement.
? Reduces Pain & Inflammation – Gentle yoga relieves pressure on the joints.
? Boosts Strength & Stability – Helps prevent falls and injuries.

Gentle Yoga Poses for Joint Mobility
Tadasana (Mountain Pose) – Improves posture and balance.
Pawanmuktasana (Joint Release Movements) – Simple hand, knee, and ankle rotations to reduce stiffness.
Marjaryasana-Bitilasana (Cat-Cow Pose) – Eases back and neck stiffness.
Supta Baddha Konasana (Reclined Butterfly Pose) – Opens the hips and relaxes the body.
Vrikshasana (Tree Pose, with support) – Strengthens legs and improves stability.
Pranayama (Breathing for Joint Health)
? Anulom Vilom (Alternate Nostril Breathing) – Improves oxygen flow and reduces stress.
? Bhramari (Humming Bee Breath) – Relaxes the nervous system.

Why Seek a Yoga Coach?
A coach ensures that you practice safely, avoiding strain on weak joints. With proper guidance, you can regain flexibility and move with ease! Start slow, listen to your body, and stay consistent.

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

...Read more

Pushpa

Pushpa R  |54 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 21, 2025Hindi
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Health
I’m a 31-year-old woman planning to start a family. Are there yoga practices that can help improve fertility and prepare my body for pregnancy?
Ans: Preparing your body for pregnancy through yoga is a wonderful way to enhance fertility, reduce stress, and create a balanced, healthy environment for conception.

Yoga Practices to Improve Fertility & Prepare for Pregnancy
1. Gentle Asanas to Boost Fertility
? Baddha Konasana (Butterfly Pose) – Improves blood circulation to the pelvic area and strengthens reproductive organs.
? Supta Baddha Konasana (Reclined Butterfly Pose) – Relaxes the body and enhances hormone balance.
? Bhujangasana (Cobra Pose) – Stimulates the ovaries and improves blood flow.
? Setu Bandhasana (Bridge Pose) – Helps regulate hormones and strengthens the lower back.
? Viparita Karani (Legs-Up-The-Wall Pose) – Reduces stress and improves circulation to the uterus.

2. Pranayama (Breathing Techniques)
? Nadi Shodhana (Alternate Nostril Breathing) – Balances hormones and reduces stress.
? Bhramari Pranayama (Humming Bee Breath) – Calms the nervous system and improves reproductive health.

3. Lifestyle Tips for Fertility
Eat a nutrient-rich diet with fresh fruits, vegetables, and healthy fats.
Maintain a healthy sleep cycle (7-8 hours of rest).
Avoid stress – meditation and deep relaxation can help balance hormones.
Stay hydrated and engage in light physical activity daily.
Guidance Matters!
A yoga coach can create a customized plan based on your body’s needs, ensuring safe and effective practice. Stay consistent, keep a positive mindset, and trust your body’s natural ability to prepare for motherhood!

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

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Pushpa

Pushpa R  |54 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 24, 2025Hindi
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Health
I’m a 25-year-old student feeling constantly fatigued and low on energy. How can yoga help me boost my energy levels and stay active?
Ans: Feeling constantly fatigued at 25 can be due to stress, poor posture, lack of movement, or irregular sleep patterns. Yoga can help by improving blood circulation, reducing stress, and balancing energy levels.

Here’s How Yoga Can Help You Stay Energized:
Start Your Day with Sun Salutations (Surya Namaskara)

Just 6-12 rounds of Surya Namaskara in the morning can wake up your body and improve blood flow.
Practice These Energy-Boosting Asanas:

Tadasana (Mountain Pose) – Improves posture and increases energy.
Bhujangasana (Cobra Pose) – Opens the chest and enhances oxygen intake.
Vrikshasana (Tree Pose) – Improves focus and mental clarity.
Setu Bandhasana (Bridge Pose) – Stimulates the nervous system and relieves fatigue.
Breathing Exercises (Pranayama) for Energy:

Bhastrika Pranayama (Bellows Breath) – Boosts oxygen supply and increases alertness.
Nadi Shodhana (Alternate Nostril Breathing) – Balances energy levels and calms the mind.
Lifestyle Tips:

Get 7-8 hours of sleep for recovery.
Stay hydrated and eat a balanced diet rich in fresh fruits and vegetables.
Take short breaks and practice stretching to avoid sitting for long hours.
For the best results, learning from a yoga coach can help you personalize your practice. Stay consistent, and you’ll feel more energetic and focused in no time!

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1526 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 11, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am a 30 year old working woman. I am pretty introvert and never have been in a relationship. Men have never approached me maybe because of my closed off nature. My mother has been constantly pressing me to look for a potential match for last 3-4 years. I have been trying dating apps and matrimony apps and have gone on a lot of dates but till now there has been no success. This entire process is taking a toll on me. When I say this to my mother she will not listen and instead keeps on searching for matches herself and make me go on dates which ultimately doesn't last since none of them seem to be compatible (mainly because of difference in family background, salary differences , values mismatch,etc). At this point I am confused. I do want to settle down for the sake of life long companionship but feel that things aren't working for me and sometimes my frustrations make me feel that I am good not married. What should I do in this case?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When the right person comes along, you will know it. Until then, enjoy the process without being too attached to the outcome. If something clicks, then it does...why fret over anything?
Your mother is just doing what she is out of love and concern; so, let her! By pushing her back it will only heighten her concern and it will come back to you in other unhealthy ways. Go along with it and just play the wait and watch game. A good way to convert your frustration into something more useful and light.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1196 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

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Career
My daughter is currently doing ICSE 10th and is performing very well in the class in Kochi. I would like to know what are the options of preparing for entrance exams such as KEAM and NEET without putting a strain or off-balance of her regular class work. What are options of attending online and offline coaching? What would be effective ? What are some good study materials ?..etc
Ans: Hello CJ
Here is the point-wise reply to your question: (1) To appear for KEAM or NEET, you have to take PCMB subjects in the 11th and 12th and appear for the respective entrance tests (2) If you are not interested in giving her stress then either she can prepare it via self-study or by joining any coaching classes (3) It is recommended to join offline classes and if your financial situation permits, then you can join any online classes only for "revision purpose". You should not remain dependent on online classes as they have huge drawbacks. (4) Related to the material, the concerned subject teacher will guide her. Yet it would be highly recommended to contact the recently passed students who cracked KEAM/NEET with high scores. Everybody referees different authors' books. But some of them are common for which your daughter can take the help. (5) Please keep in touch with the NTA website which offers free test series for NEET/JEE. (6) Ask her to focus on the interested subject either Bio or Maths. (7) Joining any coaching either offline or online mode does not carry a guarantee of success. One has to try himself. I hope, your daughter will also follow the same path of hard work to get success in either KEAM or NEET.
Best of luck to your daughter for her upcoming bright future.

If satisfied with the reply, pl like and follow me, else ask again.
Thanks
Radheshyam

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