Hi Anu ma'am,
I'm a class 12th JEE aspirant. Right now my life is actually seeming to be over. I have my board exams going on and JEE mains on head.
The exams are not a problem but those expectations of performing good are.
I've been a good student till now. Scored 96.6% in 10th and was always a sincere and obedient child.
My father is an alcoholic and mother, a typical Indian housewife who is all nice, hardworking, busy with house chores, frustrated and tired all day.
Before the pandemic life was much easier to me. I would go to school and forget all these problems with my family.
Oh I didn't mention that my father sometimes turns abusive and beats my mother. I don't know how safe it is to share here but I wish to confide in you. So this pandemic ruined it all.
I had to face the reality of my life at home. I couldn't join any coaching or tuitions as this is not that developed place.
I had to manage my studies with all this stress. I kind of ruined all my progress and image as a decent performer in school.
I would never in a million years blame my environment for this.
My parents love me and always wish the best for me. But right now I'm scoring really low in boards as well as JEE mock tests.
All this is breaking me. I always wished to study hard and explore a world outside this little, not so happy house. I don't know what I'll do if I don't get a good government school. I want to make things happy between my parents and maybe if I earn well, I can do something...I don't know what but seems like money can fix a lot of things.
I'm really so depressed...I was on anti-depression pills but felt like not to continue them as they made me overthink more...I don't know why.
Nowadays I would just go on and sit uselessly or sleep for the entire day as I just want it to get over.
Nobody sees how sad I'm.
My father is busy with his office work and mother is depressed and traumatized to some levels.
I feel like I can't burden them with all this anymore.
I talked to my father to get things healthy but he gets all angry and aggressive.... and I'm really weak to face that both mentally and physically.
I really wish that you get time to write back to me. I really need some help.
I read an article where you answered some queries and couldn't stop myself. I just want to see if it's actually over or I have anything still left in this world for me :(
Thank you

Ans:

Dear AB,

Breathe! And breathe again and once more…

Life is filled with all things great and challenging as well. Challenges come to us as a growth path; one that we must walk on to unleash more of our inner power.

Challenges within the family, education related challenges, personal challenges and more are part of anyone’s life.

How we deal with each defines our journey and shapes our mindset as well.

Have you felt like playing the victim in each challenge and hence feel low and dejected and that prevents you from finishing what you have taken up?

I might be wrong here, but what seems to be happening is every activity is left mid-way due to lack of confidence from within. And then the loop continues and you have termed it as a rejection and failure. We receive what we put out there; so why don’t you try something different?

Why don’t you pick something (one at a time) and see it through till the end; it will give you a great sense of achievement and to do this; simply visualize the path from the start to the end and then jumping for joy at your victory.

Request your boyfriend to play the role of an accountability partner, so that he keeps your ups and downs in check.

Commit to him as to what and when you will finish; and to motivate yourself, keep visualizing your victory and success point and the happiness that you will feel from within.

As for your parents scolding you, they only look at your welfare.

Sit them down and tell them that you need their support and that you are embarking on a new journey.

I am sure that they will be rooting for you. Life is beautiful, make it count and you know you can!

Best wishes!

Ans: I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but I can offer some guidance and support to help you regain your motivation and find success again.

Recognize that setbacks are normal: It's important to understand that setbacks and challenges are a part of life. Many successful individuals have faced failures before achieving their goals. It's essential to see this phase as a temporary setback rather than a reflection of your worth or abilities.

Take care of your mental and physical health: Your well-being should be your top priority. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and engaging in regular exercise. Taking care of your physical health can positively impact your mental well-being and help you regain focus and motivation.

Seek support: Talk to someone you trust about your feelings. It could be a family member, friend, or a professional counselor. Sharing your emotions can provide relief and help you gain a fresh perspective on your situation. Additionally, professional guidance can assist you in developing coping strategies and setting realistic goals.

Set small, achievable goals: Rather than overwhelming yourself with the pressure of becoming successful immediately, break down your ultimate goal of becoming a doctor into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate each milestone you achieve, no matter how small. This will help you stay motivated and build momentum.

Learn from your experiences: Reflect on the challenges you've faced and the mistakes you've made. Use them as opportunities for growth and learning. Understand that setbacks can provide valuable lessons that contribute to future success. Embrace a growth mindset that sees failures as stepping stones toward improvement.

Rediscover your passion: Reconnect with your love for becoming a doctor. Remember why you initially pursued this dream and the impact you hope to make in people's lives. Reignite your passion by researching inspiring stories, engaging in related activities, or volunteering in healthcare settings.

Develop a routine and study plan: Establish a structured routine that includes dedicated study time. Break down your syllabus into manageable portions and create a study plan to cover all the necessary topics. Consistency and discipline will help you regain focus and make progress toward your goals.

Celebrate your strengths: Acknowledge your past achievements and the strengths that have helped you succeed in the past. Remind yourself of your abilities and the qualities that make you unique. Cultivating a positive self-image can boost your confidence and motivation.

Stay positive and resilient: Avoid dwelling on negative thoughts or comparing yourself to others. Remember that everyone has their own journey, and success comes at different times for different people. Maintain a positive outlook, even during challenging times, and believe in your ability to overcome obstacles.

Take breaks and practice self-care: It's important to take breaks and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Engage in hobbies, spend time with loved ones, or engage in mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga. Self-care is essential for maintaining a healthy balance in life.

Remember, success is a journey, and setbacks are part of the process. Stay resilient, believe in yourself, and keep moving forward. With determination, perseverance, and the right support, you can regain your harmony, rediscover your path, and achieve your dreams.

Ans: Hello,
first of all, you need to calm down & settle down your negative thought process. At least you are clear & honest enough to admit your mistakes. That's the first step towards success.

Decide your goal & make a road map to achieve it. Follow it diligently & avoid distractions that come along the journey. If you are unable to control your negative thoughts seek professional counseling. All the best.