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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1503 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
AC Question by AC on Nov 08, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Anu,
My second child is 8 years old. She is lovable and kind in heart.
Nowadays she talks in a loud voice, not interested in studying, never heeds us.
We are both employed and find it difficult to teach her anything as she shows zero interest in studies.

We are both mentally stressed with her sound and she never obeys both of us and skips everything by arguing.
Since we do not have T.V. she watches mobile and never gives it back when we ask and quarrels with us all the time for mobile.
Nowadays I tend to beat her due to her sound. Please advise me to overcome the problem.

Ans:

Dear AC,

Never ever raise your hand on a child! It only makes matters worse…So, kindly refrain from that first.

Now, let’s deal with the challenge at hand. It seems like with both if you out on work, she might feel parental neglect. Who is the primary caregiver now?

I suggest take this seriously. It might require some professional help to handle the situation with a lot of care and expertise.

She is protesting against your absence at home and this neglect that she faces (which I am sure is unintentional from your end), is what comes out as a behavioural tantrum.

Beating is not the solution. Understanding the situation for what it is, is the solution.

Your daughter needs love and care from both her parents

She did not have enough knowledge or understanding that both her parents will be out on work

No other primary caregiver (assuming there is none or is ineffective) is around to hold space for her at her age

The absence of parents at home after dreadful school hours can be very stressful on her

Her emotional needs are facing starvation which shows up as anger and tantrums

To bring it to a place where it can be handled, she needs to feel hope and believe that you and your wife are around for her.

Start by:

  • Talking a lot to her and reassuring her that you both are there for her no matter what
  • No guilt buying of gadgets or otherwise to make up for your absence as it gives out the wrong message
  • Appointing a caregiver who is equipped to be with children her age (preferably an older lady) OR a grandparent who is physically and emotionally able to be a child of age 8
  • Use weekends to only be with her no matter what. Extended family and friends can wait; your daughter is your priority
  • Look into her eyes and say: I love you and hug her a lot; this is not a gesture but a lifeline to children facing parental neglect

Do this for the next couple of weeks and if nothing changes, kindly seek professional help.

This is not to send you on a guilt trip, but to sensitize you that a child needs a lot of attention and eye to detail in the family set up when both parents are working. So, step up to it NOW.

Best wishes!

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Hi Madam, I am a 46 yrs old male doing business, my wife is a housewife and 37 yrs old and we have a baby boy of 8 yrs old studying in class III in a reputed ICSE board school. My issue is with my child. Issue no. 1. Most of the time, he does not listen to both of us, whether we are telling him in soft voice or in angry voice. It is applicable not only in studies but also in other activities also. Issue no. 2. He is telling unnecessary lie. It is related to studying, playing and also day to day activities. Issue no. 3. This is most vital, he is studying in one of the best school in our city. But he is not at all interested in writing, we every time need to push him a lot for writing in the time of studies. His teachers often complain that even in exam time he is seating idle and they used to push him to write. But as he is now in class III, it is not possible for the teachers to push him to write in the exams. We are very much scared about this issue. Pls help.
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1.Find out the root cause- is it too much technology and that’s why the child cannot concentrate; or learning gaps and your child is unable to understand his studies. Or is he getting tired of writing? Or a focus concern?
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Have an open and heartfelt conversation with him. Let him know how his uncertainty makes you feel, without pressuring him for a commitment. This isn’t about forcing him to decide but about understanding each other’s emotional needs and boundaries. If he truly values the relationship, this conversation might give him a deeper perspective on how his indecision affects you.

It’s important to protect your emotional well-being. If his stance remains the same and you find yourself growing more anxious and hurt by the uncertainty, then you might have to consider whether staying is good for your mental and emotional health. Sometimes letting go, even when it hurts, is the most loving thing you can do for yourself.

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While you also carry the weight of this loss, your need to move forward is natural. It’s crucial to understand that wanting to heal and live again doesn’t mean you’re forgetting or dishonoring your son. It simply means you’re choosing life amidst the pain. The challenge is to find a way to do that without feeling guilty and without leaving your wife behind.

Encouraging her to seek professional help, such as grief counseling or therapy, could be a significant step. If she’s resistant, consider starting therapy for yourself first. Sometimes when one partner begins to heal, it opens the door for the other to consider healing too. Couples grief counseling could also provide a safe space for both of you to express your pain and find a way forward together.

Patience and understanding are crucial, but so is communication. Gently express to her how much you miss her presence and how you’re struggling too. Let her know you want to find a way to live again while still honoring your son’s memory.

Moving on doesn’t mean moving away from your son’s memory—it means learning to carry it in a way that doesn’t consume you. It’s a delicate balance, and seeking support can help you both find it.

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Hey, I am a freelance graphic designer based in Mumbai. I’m 40 and I've recently transitioned from a full-time job to freelancing, and I’m struggling to understand how to manage taxes on my variable income. My annual earnings are 8-15LPA approx. Are there any deductions specific to freelancers? Also, how should I plan for quarterly tax payments?
Ans: hi,
for this particular financial year you will be taxed under 2 heads ,1st under salaries for the period you were in job & for remaining part you will be taxed as business income being started freelancing work.

And for freelancers there is no any specific dedutions however all deductions available to all others are available to freelancers like 80C to 80G.

For calculation of taxation of freelancing period you should record all your receipts & expenses (only related to work, no any personal expenses) details with proper documentary evidences specially for expenses part, net of the (receipts & expenses) will be your income however you can opt for presumptive taxation also.

For Advance payment :-
if tax applicable to you during the finanical year as per calculations exceeds Rs 10000, then your have to pay advance tax quarterly as below
on or before 15th june :- minimum 15% or more of tax amount.
on or before 15th september :- minimum 45% or more of tax amount.
on or before 15th December :- minimum 75% or more of tax amount.
on or before 15th March :- full 100% tax payable as per calculations.
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Thanks.

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