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Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  |40 Answers  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Apr 23, 2023

Dr Aarti Bakshi is a psychologist licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India.
A school counsellor, she has worked for 15 years with young adults.
She has two PhD degrees -- developmental psychology from Global Institute of Healthcare Management and clinical psychology from Singhania University.
She is on the CBSE panel for counsellors and special educators. She collaborates with SAAR Education to help children develop life skills.
She has authored SEL (social emotional learning) journals for Grades 1-8.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 21, 2023Hindi
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Hi Madam, I am a 46 yrs old male doing business, my wife is a housewife and 37 yrs old and we have a baby boy of 8 yrs old studying in class III in a reputed ICSE board school. My issue is with my child. Issue no. 1. Most of the time, he does not listen to both of us, whether we are telling him in soft voice or in angry voice. It is applicable not only in studies but also in other activities also. Issue no. 2. He is telling unnecessary lie. It is related to studying, playing and also day to day activities. Issue no. 3. This is most vital, he is studying in one of the best school in our city. But he is not at all interested in writing, we every time need to push him a lot for writing in the time of studies. His teachers often complain that even in exam time he is seating idle and they used to push him to write. But as he is now in class III, it is not possible for the teachers to push him to write in the exams. We are very much scared about this issue. Pls help.

Ans: Dear Parents, here are a few suggestions:
1.Find out the root cause- is it too much technology and that’s why the child cannot concentrate; or learning gaps and your child is unable to understand his studies. Or is he getting tired of writing? Or a focus concern?
2. Peer check: find out what he enjoys with his friends, and work in short periods to revise his studies, write in bullet points and then play. Come back, blurt his study understanding and do a little more studies.
3. Fear builds escaping attitude: once cause is settled, building on his basic knowledge can start.
4. Talk and express as a family: it helps to build relationships.
Do let me know the progress!
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

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Hello Sir, My Son 14 years old studing in 9th Standard has not pay attention in studing, He is sleeping & lazy in all the Periods of School classroom.His body language is very idle & he has very Lazy guy. this is may due to he not eating healty food like, dryfruits, vegetable (eathing Junk Food) instead our so many attempt to do so. Myself & wife do all the attempt to improve him but we are failed in all the attempt. his school marks are only 30 to 40% & we are very much scare that he is going to failed in 9th standared. he also not listing to Teachers & our Advice but only ignore & sometimes arrogant in the argument. we have changes so many classes & private tution to improve in studey & behavour, but all attempts did not work. his only interest in Cricket, watching TV & Mobile. Request to need your valuable advice & tips to make changes in my son.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that your son is struggling in school. It's great that you and your wife are trying to help him. Here are some tips that may help:

1. Encourage healthy habits: Eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly can help improve focus and concentration.

2. Create a study-friendly environment: Make sure your son has a quiet, well-lit space to study. Remove any distractions, such as TV or mobile phones, during study time.

3. Set goals: Work with your son to set achievable goals for his studies. Break down larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks.

4. Reward progress: Celebrate your son's successes, no matter how small. Rewards can be as simple as a favorite meal or activity.

5. Encourage active learning: Encourage your son to take an active role in his learning. This can include asking questions, taking notes, and summarizing what he's learned.

6. Get support: Consider enlisting the help of a tutor or academic coach. They can provide additional support and guidance to help your son succeed.

Remember, every child learns differently, so it may take some time to find what works best for your son. Be patient and supportive, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if needed.

..Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |103 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

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Hi Mam, Hope you are doing well. I am very worried about my son who is now 12.5 years old and studying in 7th standard in a very reputed school. Since childhood, he has no interest in studies, unless we doesn't seat in front of him, he doesn't study. Every teacher from his kindergarten days upto now has the same complaint that he is doesn't pay attention in class and the result is he doesn't get good marks in the exam. When we scold him for studies, he does it for that particular time only and then get back to his non-interest mode again and start to run from studies. He will play video games, goes to play around with his friends, he will find some or the other reason for not doing studies or homework. The irony is that he is not interested in any sports or any other kind of activities. In every summer holidays, we make him to join some sports or music classes, but there also he doesn't show interest and do things just for the sake of showing. From last year, we have started sending him to tuitions also, but no change in attitude. This year we have found a teacher of his reputed school who is retired and taking tuitions, we are sending him to her and she is charging a big amount for tuitions. please guide how can we change his attitude and make him more serious in any activity he does as he doesn't have interest in anything (we have observed doing everything we can).
Ans: Hello Sunil!!

I am doing great, thank you for asking, God bless you!

I can totally understand when you say you are worried.

Your son is 12.5, he will soon be a teenager. There will be different challenges, I want you to read up on parenting a teenager and be ready to handle him well.

The problem as I see it is that everyone of you, his teachers included have made studies like a burden for him.... and subjected the young child to a lot of anxiety, he just wants to run away form it....
"Every teacher from his kindergarten days upto now has the same complaint that he is doesn't pay attention in class".... this statement of yours... it is the teacher's duty to ensure the child listens to him/her, how can she start labeling a child like this. From a young age your son has been conditioned to believe that he is not not good in studies, he doesn't focus and he doesn't sit in one place. All my sympathies are with your son...every child comes with immense potential and it's our duty as parents and teachers to nurture the child.

The following is what I propose so that we bring him back to loving to learn ( not score marks, that should never be the barometer)-
1. Love your child the way he is now
2. Give him lot of positive strokes
3. Have one on one sessions for any activity you plan for him... let him choose the activity, empower him
4. choose a teacher, who can get along with him and help him develop a positive attitude towards studies and life in general
5. look for a school where they nurture him... not just a reputed one...less number of students and a teacher who is invested in her/ his students,

If you can connect with me, I can help him. Have had many a students in this kind situation.
This is my website..
https://transformme.co.in/

Loads of best wishes to the whole family..

..Read more

Latest Questions
Mayank

Mayank Chandel  |2173 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Apr 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 04, 2025Hindi
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Hlo. Sir. Maine apna neet exam. 2024 mai diya tha. Sirf. 6 month hi preparation krke. I score well but negative marking ki wajah se. Mere mask kam hogye and maine vapis. 205 ke liye preparation Krna strt kiya ha. Without any coaching self study muje assa lg rha ha ki iss baat bhi nhi hoga. Stress ki wajah se overthinking ki wajah se mere kuch din bhut khrab hogya ha. Prr mere parents ne decide ki ha ki offline coaching krwagye. Kya muje 3 attempt ki. Jna chaiiye muje doctor hi bnna ha muje aur kuch nhi Krna ha mai bhut ache se pdh sakte hu bss ye ha ki 3 attempt dena worth it ha kya
Ans: Hello,
pehle toh main yeh kehna chahta hoon ki tumne sirf 6 mahine ki tayyari mein NEET jaise tough exam ko dene ki himmat ki — yeh kaafi badi baat hai. Tumhare andar definitely potential hai. NEET jaise exam mein negative marking sabko affect karti hai, especially jab preparation time kam ho.

Ab baat karte hain tumhare doubt par:
Kya 3rd attempt dena worth hai?
Tumhara answer tumne khud hi de diya:

"Mujhe doctor hi banna hai, mujhe aur kuch nahi karna."

Jab goal clear ho, toh answer bhi clear hota hai:
Agar doctor banna tumhara sapna hai aur tumhara belief hai ki tum mehnat kar sakte ho, toh 3rd attempt definitely worth it hai, lekin is baar smart aur structured preparation ke saath.

Offline coaching-jaise tumhare parents keh rahe hain
Agar ghar par overthinking, distractions, aur stress zyada ho raha hai, toh offline coaching environment tumhe discipline aur direction de sakta hai.
Daily study routine, regular tests, competition ka mahol — yeh sab tumhare liye helpful ho sakte hain.

Agar tumhara belief strong hai, toh koi bhi attempt waste nahi hota.
Bahut saare doctors ne 3rd, even 4th attempt me crack kiya hai. Tumhara vision clear hai, ab bas execution me discipline aur patience chahiye.

...Read more

Mayank

Mayank Chandel  |2173 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Apr 05, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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