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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on May 26, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - May 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

A another question plz answer me When he told me that "i don't like that you wear a jeans" i also agree with that i also said okay i can change myself . But when it comes to my needs and career he blame that " you were cheated with me tumne mera baat nhi mana aur bina batae tum yaha waha chali gyi "I told him that i have also my needs and happiness . But he said you cheated with me tumhare lea jeans pehna jada value kiya mera koi value nhi haii tumhare life me. I am literally devastated does it amount to cheating if i just do one thing for my happiness.Even i did not have any male friends he doubted me

Ans: Trust and Respect are fundamentals of a non toxic relationship is all I have to say. All the best.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Me and my boyfriend are in long distance relationship from past 6 months, I told him about my past in almost starting of it that I had 2 friends with benefits in past and one of that person was my classmate as well as friend, and he used to still contact me, and when I came in relationship also, he called me during that time and I told regarding my relationship status, and I also informed my boyfriend that I talked with him but this thing happened before he knows that I had physical intimacy with him, then when he asked me to block, I suddenly question "what is the point of blocking him" which I regret the most, but I blocked him later by myself, now my boyfriend is sayine me that I have cheated him and he won't trust me till his death, but I told everything in past happened to him. I love him a lot but he is not giving to work together in this relationship and saying that he won't stay loyal to me anymore, he won't trust be ever, as per him I have cheated him, but my intentions were not wrong at all, tho that guy was in contact but I never initiate any conversation with him while I came into relationship, is it really a cheat, is it that he should not trust me anymore? Please guide
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It sounds like you are going through a rough time and I am sorry for it. Here's a thought and I am sure you have thought of it too, try to see things from his perspective. While you know that you never cheated nor meant to, it is important to acknowledge that your boyfriend's feelings are valid. He is feeling betrayed and that's a fact. Now, our goal should be to fix this issue. How do we do it? Communication is the only way. Tell him that you understand his perspective but it is important that he sees yours too. If he wants to vent, listen to him. Do not interrupt or become defensive. Understand whatever he says is coming from his insecurity. I know it's difficult not to take it personally, but his statements will be a reflection of his feelings and not your character. Remember this during the conversation. Once he is done speaking, reassure him that you had no intention of cheating. You can also reassure him of your commitment. Promise to be more transparent and point out that you were honest with him from the beginning. If you had any intention to cheat, you could have easily not shared with him your past. But you did and that shows that you are committed to this relationship. Tell him that you understand the need for boundaries and it is not okay to be in touch with people who make your partner uncomfortable.

Look, rebuilding trust needs work and it also takes time. Both of you need to work on it. You will have to work on making him trust you and he will have to work on letting go of his misconception (which might be his reality) and trust you wholly again. Relationships don't work till two people trust each other completely. If he continues to say that he can't trust you again, it might be best to reconsider this relationship. Even though your words hurt him, you did not cheat on him in reality. Why should you have to live in fear that he will cheat on you merely to take revenge?

After you put in all the effort, see where it goes. If things do not get better, rethinking the relationship would be best. Everyone deserves someone who can trust and be trusted.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 16, 2024

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Hii sir ! This is ritika and I love a boy and we are in relationship since 7 years but there are some behavior of him he always have doubt on me that I am dating another boy he always says that start you screenshare in WhatsApp I even do because I don't want to lose him and he saw all of things of my phone yesterday he again asking for that and I do and there was a tab of instagram which was belongs to my roommate it was her I'd open in my chrome browser where she only wants to delete the I'd which she did from my phone these instagram thing happened approx one year ago but when he saw this I told him that was not mine but he continuously said I am cheater I cheated with him again he was like I know you have two mobile phones and you cheated with me. I love him soo much but he cannot try to accept that . Even I don't talk to my male classmate because he didn't want ki main kisi boy se baat karu Is it fair , am I cheater ? I love him unconditionally I support him in all his career or decision but again he was like I cheated with him we are in long distance relationship but I can't cheat him . Literally I am feeling depressed ????
Ans: Dear Ritika,

Please understand that you did nothing wrong. Why would you even question yourself? You know you never cheated. It's his issue that he cannot trust. Yes, in a relationship we all try to comfort our partners but that too should be to a certain extent. And, in that process, if your mental health is being compromised, I don't see how it's a healthy relationship.

I don't want to tell you what to do, but I would reassure you that YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. You don't need to prove yourself anymore. And I can also assure you that no matter what you do, he will still manage to find some flaws and doubt you. It's a typical behavior we see in some partners. You deserve peace, love, and above all, to be trusted.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 23, 2024
Relationship
Hi gurus, I am 24 yrs old girl, currently pursuing MBA from a middle class family. I have a 5 yr relationship with my boyfriend. I love him very much. Don't want to loose him. Maybe he also love me. But the problem start few days ago when he suddenly confessed me that he visit red light area thrice at the first year of our relationship. From those initial days we are in a serious relationship and family involved in this. But we don't intimate but virtual intimacy was there. But this year in january we for first time got intimate and after 4 time of intimacy he confess me this that he physical one time and two time just visit their to see naked dance but failed due to some reason. Now He told me that he felt it will be cheating if he not told me this now. One side I am depressed and fear to loose him. He repetitively beg pardon from me and told that this was his peer pressure and now he mature enough to say no this.. Now he can't imagine his life without me. I don't want to loose him but can't forgive or forgot this. Now he repeatedly told me to marry him and proposed me romantically. He repeatedly want pardon from me . I love him very much that I want to forget all things and start from first again. But will it be right, if I easily forgive him than is he got much confidence to do this again?? I am depressed and confused. Pls help me . What will be right decision in this situation? Forgive him or not?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whether you want to forgive him or not is your decision. But I would wonder if he has confessed all of it. The risk of carrying infections from visiting these places is heavy; so before jumping into any physical act with him, do suggest to him that he gets himself tested. He may oppose it, but be firm on it.
You love him and that's all okay...But is he in love with you OR is he wants to be with you because his family is involved as well?

What is a red flag is the fact that he was still visiting red light areas while he was in a relationship with you. Do you not want to know why? Do you not want to know what makes him beg for your forgiveness now? Till such time that you are satisfied and you can trust him again, do not act in a hurry.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Ravi sir, I am 24 yrs old girl, currently pursuing MBA from a middle class family. I have a 5 yr relationship with my boyfriend. I love him very much. Don't want to loose him. Maybe he also love me. But the problem start few days ago when he suddenly confessed me that he visit red light area thrice at the first year of our relationship. From those initial days we are in a serious relationship and family involved in this. But we don't intimate but virtual intimacy was there. But this year in january we for first time got intimate and after 4 time of intimacy he confess me this that he physical one time and two time just visit their to see naked dance but failed due to some reason. Now He told me that he felt it will be cheating if he not told me this now. One side I am depressed and fear to loose him. He repetitively beg pardon from me and told that this was his peer pressure and now he mature enough to say no this.. Now he can't imagine his life without me. I don't want to loose him but can't forgive or forgot this. Now he repeatedly told me to marry him and proposed me romantically. He repeatedly want pardon from me . I love him very much that I want to forget all things and start from first again. But will it be right, if I easily forgive him than is he got much confidence to do this again?? I am depressed and confused. Pls help me . What will be right decision in this situation? Forgive him or not?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how conflicted you must be feeling right now, and I am sorry that you are going through this. I wish I could tell you what would be the right thing to do, but it has to be your decision and yours alone. All I can suggest is to take a beat and not rush into deciding anything.

Take everything into consideration-
On the one hand, infidelity is indeed unacceptable in a relationship. But on the other, it was in the initial stage. He might not have been as serious about the relationship as you during those days. Nevertheless, the timing does not make his action justifiable. I suggest you have an open conversation and ask him why he felt the need to do this. Ask him if he did not consider your feelings. What's concerning is that he did not stop after the first time; he went back twice more. I am not judging his choice of location but the fact that he was in a committed relationship puts him in the wrong. Also, blaming it on peer pressure is inexcusable; this isn't something funny or trivial he did because his friends dared him to. Ask him to take accountability and understand that actions have consequences.

Take it one day at a time. Whatever you decide is okay. And if at any point you want to pick yourself over the relationship, I want you to understand that it is completely alright. You will feel like it's a selfish decision, but it isn't. Remember that. Please do what you need to help you heal from this.

Best Wishes.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9447 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

Career
Hello sir... I got 86.7%ile in jee mains (CRL 196706, EWS rank 28516, girl) and secured 93..2% in my 12th Cbse board.I have haryana domicile and want to pursue btech in cse, it or ece. What are my chances of getting a good govt college and is there any chance in CSAB for NITs or IIITs ? Thankyou
Ans: Lavisha, With an EWS Home-State rank of 28,516, securing Computer Science seats via CSAB Special in premier NITs under Home-State EWS quotas is challenging, as CSE at NIT Kurukshetra closed near 8 198 for general HS and the EWS HS cutoff typically tracks within 25 000–35 000—just within reach. Electronics & Communication Engineering at Kurukshetra closed around HS?Open 9 692–15 127, with EWS HS often extending to 45 000–57 000, making ECE a viable target. In JoSAA 2025, IIIT Kota’s HS-EWS CSE cutoff was 39,410, which places your rank comfortably within the acceptable range. Beyond these, peripheral GFTIs such as CIT Kokrajhar (CSE up to ~150 500 CRL) and Assam University, Silchar (CSE ~75 981) admit EWS candidates with ranks well above 28 000. All these institutes meet AICTE/NIRF accreditation, maintain ≥70 percent placement consistency, feature modern labs, active MoUs for internships, and have outcome-based curricula.

Recommendation: CSAB offers special preferences for assured entry into Electronics & Communication Engineering at NIT Kurukshetra under HS-EWS, followed by listing CSE at IIIT Kota and CSE at peripheral GFTIs like CIT Kokrajhar and Assam University. Simultaneously, pursue Haryana state-counselling seats at PEC Kurukshetra and Deenbandhu Chhotu Ram University for core-branch safety. However, have 2-3 Private Engineering Colleges also as back ups with your JEE Score instead of relying only on CSAB. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9447 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

Career
BITS Goa EEE or NIT Calicut EEE
Ans: BITS Pilani K.K. Birla Goa Campus offers a B.E. in Electrical & Electronics Engineering with NAAC A+ accreditation and Institute of Eminence status. The program features modern infrastructure including specialized EEE laboratories, a Central Sophisticated Instrumentation Facility with advanced equipment like confocal microscope, FESEM, and Raman spectrometer, alongside comprehensive industry partnerships including Amazon Web Services and GitHub for startup support. The campus spans 180 acres with fully residential facilities and smart classrooms. NIT Calicut's B.Tech in Electrical & Electronics Engineering holds NBA accreditation for 6 years (2022-2028) under the stringent Tier-I evaluation scheme and is ranked 25th in NIRF Engineering rankings 2024. The institute achieved a remarkable 97.01% placement rate for EEE students in 2024, with 130 out of 134 registered students securing positions, demonstrating exceptional industry demand. Both institutions maintain essential benchmarks including statutory approvals, modern laboratory facilities, research-active faculty with doctoral qualifications, active industry Mships, and consistent placement support exceeding 75% over three years. BITS Goa commands higher fees of ?20.76 lakh for the complete program versus NIT Calicut's ?5 lakh, but offers unique Practice School programs ensuring 7+ months of industry experience. The BITS alumni network includes prominent entrepreneurs and unicorn founders, while NIT Calicut benefits from the extensive NIT Alumni Network spanning multiple countries.

Recommendation: Choose NIT Calicut's EEE for its exceptional 97% placement consistency, NBA Tier-I accreditation, cost-effectiveness at ?5 lakh fees, and strong government institute reputation with established industry connections. Consider BITS Goa's EEE if you prioritize unique Practice School industry exposure, Institute of Eminence status, entrepreneurial alumni network, and can afford the higher fee structure for comprehensive residential campus experience. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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