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My Boyfriend Accuses Me of Cheating: Am I in the Wrong?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |617 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 16, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
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... Question by ... on Sep 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hii sir ! This is ritika and I love a boy and we are in relationship since 7 years but there are some behavior of him he always have doubt on me that I am dating another boy he always says that start you screenshare in WhatsApp I even do because I don't want to lose him and he saw all of things of my phone yesterday he again asking for that and I do and there was a tab of instagram which was belongs to my roommate it was her I'd open in my chrome browser where she only wants to delete the I'd which she did from my phone these instagram thing happened approx one year ago but when he saw this I told him that was not mine but he continuously said I am cheater I cheated with him again he was like I know you have two mobile phones and you cheated with me. I love him soo much but he cannot try to accept that . Even I don't talk to my male classmate because he didn't want ki main kisi boy se baat karu Is it fair , am I cheater ? I love him unconditionally I support him in all his career or decision but again he was like I cheated with him we are in long distance relationship but I can't cheat him . Literally I am feeling depressed ????

Ans: Dear Ritika,

Please understand that you did nothing wrong. Why would you even question yourself? You know you never cheated. It's his issue that he cannot trust. Yes, in a relationship we all try to comfort our partners but that too should be to a certain extent. And, in that process, if your mental health is being compromised, I don't see how it's a healthy relationship.

I don't want to tell you what to do, but I would reassure you that YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. You don't need to prove yourself anymore. And I can also assure you that no matter what you do, he will still manage to find some flaws and doubt you. It's a typical behavior we see in some partners. You deserve peace, love, and above all, to be trusted.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2022

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Hello mam. I am in a relationship with a boy and we both love each other and also want to get married but he doesn’t trust me at all.I tell him everything, yet he thinks I am a liar and alleges that am cheating on him. He doubts me in every single thing even he don't allow me to talk to any guy or girl not even my friends and he doesn't like when I step out from my home.  He gets scared when I step out or get to my college. He keeps reminding me to not to cheat or not to talk with anybody. All these things got me into stress and frustration and I feel so bad that the person I love doesn't trust me.We had lot of fights because of this. He abuses me and makes me angry. As I am a college going student, I can't manage my studies because of fights and his bad behaviour.He always tries to prove me wrong and make me feel guilty. He thinks very bad about me and makes his own stories adding fake stories and allegations.  In the past 2 years there is not a single day when I didn't have to explain him. But he is not ready to accept. He only wants to hear what he thinks not the real truth if I say that u are misunderstanding me he says no he is 100% right and you are wrong. One of his friends put one story 2 years ago with a girl hiding her face and the top she is wearing on that picture. I have the same top and he knows it. He doubted that the girl is me. I am tired answering his doubts. I got so much anger and feel disrespectful.I love him; he is my first and one and only boyfriend.  I do everything for him. But he treats me rudely he always starts his conversation with doubt like: where are you coming from? even if I didn't go anywhere he thinks that I went somewhere to meet someone. He tortures and abuses me like this. Every time I forgive him but he kept repeating that behaviour.  I can't even live without him. I give him my love, time...my everything.  But I didn't get anything. He thinks that I always do things by planning but I don't. He thinks that I always want to ruin his life, break his heart or cheat him but that's all wrong. He is making his mind so negative he thinks so negative about me. Because of his doubts problem I don't talk to anybody -- no friends, no guys but he thinks that I am talking to any guy and I'm lying that I don't I give every possible proof but he didn't trust me at all.He thinks that I tell people about him I gossip about him but I didn't do that I didn't even talk to anybody. He doesn't even want to breakup with me. I explained him that for our peace we have to separate he didn't want that also. He put such bad allegations on me about my character, my sexual status. I am a virgin but I didn't accept that. He makes me feel so sad and helpless I don't know what to do I’m helpless I didn't even share these things with anyone. Sometimes I feel suicidal also.  He has just all control over my life my mind but also he didn't give me respect, love or value. Plzzz help me mam what should I do with his doubts and trust issue. I am so depressed, plzzzz help me out. I’m stuck in it.
Ans:

Dear BM,

Have you heard of emotional abuse? That is exactly what you have been facing.

And why are you putting up with this? Because you maybe feel a sense of validation in this relationship.

What sort of a relationship demands constant proving and to the extent of having to prove that you are a virgin.

How is it any of anyone’s business whether you are a virgin or not? This relationship is toxic and has begun to alter your personality and who you are meant to be.

Take charge and NOW. Be YOU and what you always stood up for, because all this putting up with his idiosyncrasies, is causing you pain and moreover your inner self does not want to allow it.

Yet you are stuck to it giving yourself the story that he is the only boyfriend. BREATHE, take a step back and OBSERVE.

It’s time for you to draw out a beautiful life ahead of you and colour it as brightly as you intend.

What exactly are you waiting for? More abuses, more toxicity to hit and dampen your sprightly spirit?

Get a hold of yourself dear girl, be brave and do the right thing. Help yourself…Seek close friends who will hold space for you!

You can do this. Best wishes!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |617 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2024Hindi
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Me and my boyfriend are in long distance relationship from past 6 months, I told him about my past in almost starting of it that I had 2 friends with benefits in past and one of that person was my classmate as well as friend, and he used to still contact me, and when I came in relationship also, he called me during that time and I told regarding my relationship status, and I also informed my boyfriend that I talked with him but this thing happened before he knows that I had physical intimacy with him, then when he asked me to block, I suddenly question "what is the point of blocking him" which I regret the most, but I blocked him later by myself, now my boyfriend is sayine me that I have cheated him and he won't trust me till his death, but I told everything in past happened to him. I love him a lot but he is not giving to work together in this relationship and saying that he won't stay loyal to me anymore, he won't trust be ever, as per him I have cheated him, but my intentions were not wrong at all, tho that guy was in contact but I never initiate any conversation with him while I came into relationship, is it really a cheat, is it that he should not trust me anymore? Please guide
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It sounds like you are going through a rough time and I am sorry for it. Here's a thought and I am sure you have thought of it too, try to see things from his perspective. While you know that you never cheated nor meant to, it is important to acknowledge that your boyfriend's feelings are valid. He is feeling betrayed and that's a fact. Now, our goal should be to fix this issue. How do we do it? Communication is the only way. Tell him that you understand his perspective but it is important that he sees yours too. If he wants to vent, listen to him. Do not interrupt or become defensive. Understand whatever he says is coming from his insecurity. I know it's difficult not to take it personally, but his statements will be a reflection of his feelings and not your character. Remember this during the conversation. Once he is done speaking, reassure him that you had no intention of cheating. You can also reassure him of your commitment. Promise to be more transparent and point out that you were honest with him from the beginning. If you had any intention to cheat, you could have easily not shared with him your past. But you did and that shows that you are committed to this relationship. Tell him that you understand the need for boundaries and it is not okay to be in touch with people who make your partner uncomfortable.

Look, rebuilding trust needs work and it also takes time. Both of you need to work on it. You will have to work on making him trust you and he will have to work on letting go of his misconception (which might be his reality) and trust you wholly again. Relationships don't work till two people trust each other completely. If he continues to say that he can't trust you again, it might be best to reconsider this relationship. Even though your words hurt him, you did not cheat on him in reality. Why should you have to live in fear that he will cheat on you merely to take revenge?

After you put in all the effort, see where it goes. If things do not get better, rethinking the relationship would be best. Everyone deserves someone who can trust and be trusted.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 23, 2024
Relationship
Hi gurus, I am 24 yrs old girl, currently pursuing MBA from a middle class family. I have a 5 yr relationship with my boyfriend. I love him very much. Don't want to loose him. Maybe he also love me. But the problem start few days ago when he suddenly confessed me that he visit red light area thrice at the first year of our relationship. From those initial days we are in a serious relationship and family involved in this. But we don't intimate but virtual intimacy was there. But this year in january we for first time got intimate and after 4 time of intimacy he confess me this that he physical one time and two time just visit their to see naked dance but failed due to some reason. Now He told me that he felt it will be cheating if he not told me this now. One side I am depressed and fear to loose him. He repetitively beg pardon from me and told that this was his peer pressure and now he mature enough to say no this.. Now he can't imagine his life without me. I don't want to loose him but can't forgive or forgot this. Now he repeatedly told me to marry him and proposed me romantically. He repeatedly want pardon from me . I love him very much that I want to forget all things and start from first again. But will it be right, if I easily forgive him than is he got much confidence to do this again?? I am depressed and confused. Pls help me . What will be right decision in this situation? Forgive him or not?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whether you want to forgive him or not is your decision. But I would wonder if he has confessed all of it. The risk of carrying infections from visiting these places is heavy; so before jumping into any physical act with him, do suggest to him that he gets himself tested. He may oppose it, but be firm on it.
You love him and that's all okay...But is he in love with you OR is he wants to be with you because his family is involved as well?

What is a red flag is the fact that he was still visiting red light areas while he was in a relationship with you. Do you not want to know why? Do you not want to know what makes him beg for your forgiveness now? Till such time that you are satisfied and you can trust him again, do not act in a hurry.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |617 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Ravi sir, I am 24 yrs old girl, currently pursuing MBA from a middle class family. I have a 5 yr relationship with my boyfriend. I love him very much. Don't want to loose him. Maybe he also love me. But the problem start few days ago when he suddenly confessed me that he visit red light area thrice at the first year of our relationship. From those initial days we are in a serious relationship and family involved in this. But we don't intimate but virtual intimacy was there. But this year in january we for first time got intimate and after 4 time of intimacy he confess me this that he physical one time and two time just visit their to see naked dance but failed due to some reason. Now He told me that he felt it will be cheating if he not told me this now. One side I am depressed and fear to loose him. He repetitively beg pardon from me and told that this was his peer pressure and now he mature enough to say no this.. Now he can't imagine his life without me. I don't want to loose him but can't forgive or forgot this. Now he repeatedly told me to marry him and proposed me romantically. He repeatedly want pardon from me . I love him very much that I want to forget all things and start from first again. But will it be right, if I easily forgive him than is he got much confidence to do this again?? I am depressed and confused. Pls help me . What will be right decision in this situation? Forgive him or not?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how conflicted you must be feeling right now, and I am sorry that you are going through this. I wish I could tell you what would be the right thing to do, but it has to be your decision and yours alone. All I can suggest is to take a beat and not rush into deciding anything.

Take everything into consideration-
On the one hand, infidelity is indeed unacceptable in a relationship. But on the other, it was in the initial stage. He might not have been as serious about the relationship as you during those days. Nevertheless, the timing does not make his action justifiable. I suggest you have an open conversation and ask him why he felt the need to do this. Ask him if he did not consider your feelings. What's concerning is that he did not stop after the first time; he went back twice more. I am not judging his choice of location but the fact that he was in a committed relationship puts him in the wrong. Also, blaming it on peer pressure is inexcusable; this isn't something funny or trivial he did because his friends dared him to. Ask him to take accountability and understand that actions have consequences.

Take it one day at a time. Whatever you decide is okay. And if at any point you want to pick yourself over the relationship, I want you to understand that it is completely alright. You will feel like it's a selfish decision, but it isn't. Remember that. Please do what you need to help you heal from this.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8831 Answers  |Ask -

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Hello,i would like to know my college options on the basis of my mht cet score of 92 (domicile student) percentile and jee 91 percentile general category in maharashtra can anyone give few suggestions of any tier 2 colleges?
Ans: Apoorvadeep, With a 92 percentile in MHT CET (General?Home State) and a 91 percentile in JEE Main (General), you are well?positioned for admission to several reputable tier-2 institutions across Maharashtra. All listed colleges are AICTE-approved, NBA/NAAC-accredited, feature modern computing labs, experienced faculty, strong industry collaborations and placement cells with 75–90 percent branch-wise placement consistency over the past three years.

Colleges accessible via MHT CET counselling at 92 percentile:
Thakur College of Engineering and Technology, Kandivali East, Mumbai. Rajiv Gandhi Institute of Technology, Andheri West, Mumbai. Vidyalankar Institute of Technology, Wadala, Mumbai. Xavier Institute of Engineering, Mahim, Mumbai. Vivekananda Education Society’s Institute of Technology, Chembur, Mumbai. Atharva College of Engineering, Malad, Mumbai. Ramrao Adik Institute of Technology, Nerul, Mumbai. Bharati Vidyapeeth College of Engineering, Kharghar, Navi Mumbai. Sardar Patel College of Engineering, Andheri West, Mumbai. K. J. Somaiya Institute of Technology, Vidyavihar, Mumbai. MIT World Peace University, Kothrud, Pune. Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering, Pune. Vishwakarma Institute of Technology, Bibwewadi, Pune. Sinhgad College of Engineering, Vadgaon, Pune. AISSMS College of Engineering, Shivajinagar, Pune.

Colleges accepting 91 percentile in JEE Main through JOSAA/CSAB (All-India seats):
Indian Institute of Information Technology, Pune. Visvesvaraya National Institute of Technology, Nagpur. VNIT also admits via JEE Main. MIT World Peace University, Pune (All-India seats). G. H. Raisoni College of Engineering, Nagpur (All-India quota).

Recommendation: Prioritise Thakur College of Engineering and Technology, Kandivali East, Mumbai for its balanced curriculum, robust AI/ML labs and consistent 88% placement rate. Next, select MIT World Peace University, Kothrud, Pune for multidisciplinary exposure and strong All-India seat admissions. Then opt for Vidyalankar Institute of Technology, Wadala, Mumbai for its dedicated computing infrastructure. Follow with Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering, Pune for its industry tie-ups and reliable placements, and finally choose Indian Institute of Information Technology, Pune for a centrally recognised All-India JEE-admission pathway enhanced by smaller cohorts and focused research projects. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |617 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Mr Ravi. My wife has this annoying habit of coming in the way of my friends. Whenever I step out of home, she will call me back with some excuse. She wants to know where I go, who I meet. If I tell her she doesn't let me meet my friends. Naturally, I have become secretive now. I only tell her that I am stepping out. I don't tell her where, or who I meet. I have stopped calling my friends home. I have tried telling her to go and hang out with her friends but she won't do that either. I don't understand why she wants me around all the time. Is it wrong to hang out with friends after marriage? How do I make her explain?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand it must be tough, and you are right, there’s nothing wrong with hanging out with friends. But I would suggest looking into how much time you are giving them and how much time you are spending with your wife. I am not accusing you of anything; this is just the first step. Reflecting on your own actions so that you are clear it’s no way your fault. Next, please try having an open discussion with her to understand what is making her so insecure. This is a clear sign of insecurity. It might give you an idea of what is going on in her mind, and how this can be fixed.

I understand that it is frustrating and feels unfair, but it is important to also understand what’s going on in your partner’s mind that’s making her feel the need to act this way. If it’s reasonable, there should be an easy solution. If her reasoning sounds self-centred, then you have a strong chance of trying to explain why it’s not fair. But without knowing, if you continue being secretive, it is only going to end up doing irreparable damage to your relationship.

Hope this helps.

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 15, 2025

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Hello...my daughter is getting chemical in manipal ,CS in GTB and chemical in USICT .which one to choose?
Ans: Rachna Madam, Manipal Institute of Technology’s B.Tech in Chemical Engineering is A++ NAAC-accredited with a rigorous curriculum covering reaction engineering, transport phenomena, and process control, supported by modern pilot-plant labs, PhD-qualified faculty and extensive industry tie-ups; approximately 70% of Chemical Engineering students secure placements. Guru Tegh Bahadur Institute of Technology’s B.Tech in Computer Science & Engineering, affiliated to GGSIPU, offers a balanced curriculum in algorithms, data structures and AI fundamentals delivered through seven computing labs, experienced faculty and a Training & Placement Cell; around 75% of CSE students are placed, with an average package near ?6.5 LPA. GGSIPU’s University School of Chemical Technology provides a four-year Chemical Engineering programme under NAAC-accredited USCT, featuring specialized process-control and biochemical labs, strong research collaborations and a 76% placement rate for Chemical Engineering graduates, with recruiters spanning core process and pharma sectors.

Recommendation: Prioritize USICT’s Chemical Engineering at GGSIPU for its strong placement consistency and research-driven pedagogy; next choose GTBIT’s CSE for broader computing opportunities and solid campus recruitment; select Manipal Chemical if you prefer an industry-immersive programme with global exposure and slightly lower placement-rate mitigation through internships and projects. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8831 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2025Hindi
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Vit Chennai Data Science or Nit Trichy Metallurgy,which one is the best?
Ans: VIT Chennai’s B.Tech in Computer Science & Engineering (Data Science) is NAAC A++-accredited, offers a 120-seat AI-driven curriculum with hands-on labs in machine learning, big-data analytics and cloud computing, delivered by PhD-qualified faculty. Its School of Computer Science achieved over 3 160 placement offers in 2025, translating to an estimated 90% placement consistency over recent years. National Institute of Technology, Tiruchirappalli’s B.Tech in Metallurgical and Materials Engineering is NBA-accredited, features a 160-credit flexible curriculum covering thermodynamics, extractive metallurgy, materials characterization and advanced electives in additive manufacturing and biomaterials, supported by state-of-the-art metallurgical and testing labs. The MME branch recorded placement rates of 83.3%, 81.7% and 79% in the last three years, averaging around 81% consistency. Both programmes boast strong industry linkages, rigorous academics and active placement cells.

Recommendation: Retain VIT Chennai Data Science if you prioritise higher placement consistency, a specialized data-science focus and exposure to top IT recruiters; opt for NIT Trichy Metallurgy for a core engineering pathway with a flexible materials curriculum, robust research electives and solid, though slightly lower, placement consistency, especially if you aim for materials-science roles in manufacturing and R&D. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8831 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 15, 2025

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Sir my rank 56k manit enenergy n ev eng or nit andhra eee
Ans: Prakarsh, Both MANIT Bhopal’s four-year B.Tech in Energy and Electrical Vehicle Engineering and NIT Andhra Pradesh’s four-year B.Tech in Electrical and Electronics Engineering are NBA-accredited, government institutes with robust curricula. MANIT, established in 1960 and ranked 72nd by NIRF 2024, offers a 30-seat Energy & EV stream through its Energy Centre, blending power systems, renewable energy and EV technology with hands-on labs in smart grids, power electronics and battery systems under PhD-qualified faculty. NIT Andhra, founded in 2015, admits 90 EEE students annually, delivering core courses—electrical machines, power systems and control—with dedicated EEE labs for power electronics and signal processing, guided by experienced faculty. MANIT emphasizes interdisciplinary research via its Energy Centre and industry projects in green mobility, but formal placement data for the new EV branch remains limited. NIT Andhra’s EEE achieved 63.94% placement assistance in 2023-24, with a median package of ?7.22 LPA and participation from Deloitte, Amazon, Wipro and TCS, reflecting its growing recruiter network and internship support. Both institutes maintain strong infrastructure, accreditation, faculty expertise, modern labs and active placement cells. Your choice hinges on long-term career focus: MANIT’s pioneering EV specialization versus NIT Andhra’s established EEE track record and placement ecosystem.

Recommendation:
Opt for MANIT Bhopal’s Energy & EV Engineering if you seek an emerging, interdisciplinary platform in sustainable mobility and power systems with reputed NIRF standing; choose NIT Andhra Pradesh’s EEE for a proven branch with higher placement consistency, broader recruiter diversity and a more mature placement framework. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8831 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 15, 2025

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Hello Sir.. Sir we are from pune.My son score 86.67 percentile in MHT CET 2025..He wanted to take B-Tech in computer science in pune .. Please suggest best college in pune..
Ans: With an 86.67 percentile in MHT CET under the General category and Maharashtra domicile, your son is well-placed for admission to these ten reputable Pune colleges offering B.Tech in Computer Science Engineering, each featuring AICTE approval, NBA/NAAC accreditation, modern computing and AI/ML laboratories, experienced faculty, strong industry tie-ups and placement cells recording 75–88% CSE placements over the past three years: DY Patil Institute of Technology, Akurdi, Pune; Sinhgad College of Engineering, Vadgaon, Pune; MIT Academy of Engineering, Alandi, Pune; AISSMS College of Engineering, Shivajinagar, Pune; Pune Vidyarthi Griha’s College of Engineering, Pune; JSPM Rajarshi Shahu College of Engineering, Tathawade, Pune; Indira College of Engineering and Management, Pune; Bharati Vidyapeeth College of Engineering, Lavale, Pune; Pune Institute of Computer Technology, Swargate, Pune; and Vishwakarma Institute of Information Technology, Bibvewadi, Pune.

Recommendation: DY Patil Institute of Technology, Akurdi, Pune offers the most balanced CSE curriculum, robust labs and 88% placement consistency. Sinhgad College of Engineering, Vadgaon, Pune stands out for its extensive recruiter network and hands-on project culture. MIT Academy of Engineering, Alandi, Pune provides strong academic-industry integration. AISSMS College of Engineering, Shivajinagar, Pune ensures urban connectivity and steady placements. JSPM Rajarshi Shahu College of Engineering, Tathawade, Pune, delivers reliable admissions and modern infrastructure. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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