Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

24-Year-Old Woman Seeking Advice on Boyfriend's Past Visit to Red Light Area

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |518 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 27, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hi Ravi sir, I am 24 yrs old girl, currently pursuing MBA from a middle class family. I have a 5 yr relationship with my boyfriend. I love him very much. Don't want to loose him. Maybe he also love me. But the problem start few days ago when he suddenly confessed me that he visit red light area thrice at the first year of our relationship. From those initial days we are in a serious relationship and family involved in this. But we don't intimate but virtual intimacy was there. But this year in january we for first time got intimate and after 4 time of intimacy he confess me this that he physical one time and two time just visit their to see naked dance but failed due to some reason. Now He told me that he felt it will be cheating if he not told me this now. One side I am depressed and fear to loose him. He repetitively beg pardon from me and told that this was his peer pressure and now he mature enough to say no this.. Now he can't imagine his life without me. I don't want to loose him but can't forgive or forgot this. Now he repeatedly told me to marry him and proposed me romantically. He repeatedly want pardon from me . I love him very much that I want to forget all things and start from first again. But will it be right, if I easily forgive him than is he got much confidence to do this again?? I am depressed and confused. Pls help me . What will be right decision in this situation? Forgive him or not?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how conflicted you must be feeling right now, and I am sorry that you are going through this. I wish I could tell you what would be the right thing to do, but it has to be your decision and yours alone. All I can suggest is to take a beat and not rush into deciding anything.

Take everything into consideration-
On the one hand, infidelity is indeed unacceptable in a relationship. But on the other, it was in the initial stage. He might not have been as serious about the relationship as you during those days. Nevertheless, the timing does not make his action justifiable. I suggest you have an open conversation and ask him why he felt the need to do this. Ask him if he did not consider your feelings. What's concerning is that he did not stop after the first time; he went back twice more. I am not judging his choice of location but the fact that he was in a committed relationship puts him in the wrong. Also, blaming it on peer pressure is inexcusable; this isn't something funny or trivial he did because his friends dared him to. Ask him to take accountability and understand that actions have consequences.

Take it one day at a time. Whatever you decide is okay. And if at any point you want to pick yourself over the relationship, I want you to understand that it is completely alright. You will feel like it's a selfish decision, but it isn't. Remember that. Please do what you need to help you heal from this.

Best Wishes.
Asked on - Nov 27, 2024 | Not Answered yet
Thank you for this reply. It's help me a lot. ????

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |518 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Me and my boyfriend are in long distance relationship from past 6 months, I told him about my past in almost starting of it that I had 2 friends with benefits in past and one of that person was my classmate as well as friend, and he used to still contact me, and when I came in relationship also, he called me during that time and I told regarding my relationship status, and I also informed my boyfriend that I talked with him but this thing happened before he knows that I had physical intimacy with him, then when he asked me to block, I suddenly question "what is the point of blocking him" which I regret the most, but I blocked him later by myself, now my boyfriend is sayine me that I have cheated him and he won't trust me till his death, but I told everything in past happened to him. I love him a lot but he is not giving to work together in this relationship and saying that he won't stay loyal to me anymore, he won't trust be ever, as per him I have cheated him, but my intentions were not wrong at all, tho that guy was in contact but I never initiate any conversation with him while I came into relationship, is it really a cheat, is it that he should not trust me anymore? Please guide
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It sounds like you are going through a rough time and I am sorry for it. Here's a thought and I am sure you have thought of it too, try to see things from his perspective. While you know that you never cheated nor meant to, it is important to acknowledge that your boyfriend's feelings are valid. He is feeling betrayed and that's a fact. Now, our goal should be to fix this issue. How do we do it? Communication is the only way. Tell him that you understand his perspective but it is important that he sees yours too. If he wants to vent, listen to him. Do not interrupt or become defensive. Understand whatever he says is coming from his insecurity. I know it's difficult not to take it personally, but his statements will be a reflection of his feelings and not your character. Remember this during the conversation. Once he is done speaking, reassure him that you had no intention of cheating. You can also reassure him of your commitment. Promise to be more transparent and point out that you were honest with him from the beginning. If you had any intention to cheat, you could have easily not shared with him your past. But you did and that shows that you are committed to this relationship. Tell him that you understand the need for boundaries and it is not okay to be in touch with people who make your partner uncomfortable.

Look, rebuilding trust needs work and it also takes time. Both of you need to work on it. You will have to work on making him trust you and he will have to work on letting go of his misconception (which might be his reality) and trust you wholly again. Relationships don't work till two people trust each other completely. If he continues to say that he can't trust you again, it might be best to reconsider this relationship. Even though your words hurt him, you did not cheat on him in reality. Why should you have to live in fear that he will cheat on you merely to take revenge?

After you put in all the effort, see where it goes. If things do not get better, rethinking the relationship would be best. Everyone deserves someone who can trust and be trusted.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |518 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 19, 2024

Listen
Relationship
hi i have been into relationship with my bf for as long as 15 yrs.. we shared a beautiful relationship but he was never fulfilling his commitment towards marriage almost for 15 years he is just saying he will marry in the coming months but never in any month we got married everytime we use to book n dan he is to cancel the dates saying that he is scared want to wait for sometime... once he told me that due to age difference of 9 yrs (M older to him by 9 yrs) his family will not accept me...but still he is ready to get married to me n i was on his false promises ...But suddenly 4 months back he got married to someone else..and i was not aware of anything because he used to meet me everyday n suddenly one day i saw him as a bride groom getting married to someone.. i dont know now how to cope with this trauma.. i see myself dying everyday..i dont understand to what extent he has committed this crime..& y did he did this.. i used to give choice also to say yes or no but not to cheat in this way...
Ans: Hello Veena,

I understand how painful it can be. Please rest assured you lost nothing. A man like that can be no one's gain. Looking behind will not do you any good. There is no method to this madness; some people do not care if their actions hurt others. You will find no answer to your "why." Now, the only thing you can do is move on gracefully with your life. Make something out of it. It will be painful for some time, I am not going to lie. But every time you think "Why did he leave," just counter it with "Thank god he left." You do not deserve such a man; in fact, no one does. Remember that. It will help you through this tough time.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |518 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 16, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Hii sir ! This is ritika and I love a boy and we are in relationship since 7 years but there are some behavior of him he always have doubt on me that I am dating another boy he always says that start you screenshare in WhatsApp I even do because I don't want to lose him and he saw all of things of my phone yesterday he again asking for that and I do and there was a tab of instagram which was belongs to my roommate it was her I'd open in my chrome browser where she only wants to delete the I'd which she did from my phone these instagram thing happened approx one year ago but when he saw this I told him that was not mine but he continuously said I am cheater I cheated with him again he was like I know you have two mobile phones and you cheated with me. I love him soo much but he cannot try to accept that . Even I don't talk to my male classmate because he didn't want ki main kisi boy se baat karu Is it fair , am I cheater ? I love him unconditionally I support him in all his career or decision but again he was like I cheated with him we are in long distance relationship but I can't cheat him . Literally I am feeling depressed ????
Ans: Dear Ritika,

Please understand that you did nothing wrong. Why would you even question yourself? You know you never cheated. It's his issue that he cannot trust. Yes, in a relationship we all try to comfort our partners but that too should be to a certain extent. And, in that process, if your mental health is being compromised, I don't see how it's a healthy relationship.

I don't want to tell you what to do, but I would reassure you that YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. You don't need to prove yourself anymore. And I can also assure you that no matter what you do, he will still manage to find some flaws and doubt you. It's a typical behavior we see in some partners. You deserve peace, love, and above all, to be trusted.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 23, 2024
Relationship
Hi gurus, I am 24 yrs old girl, currently pursuing MBA from a middle class family. I have a 5 yr relationship with my boyfriend. I love him very much. Don't want to loose him. Maybe he also love me. But the problem start few days ago when he suddenly confessed me that he visit red light area thrice at the first year of our relationship. From those initial days we are in a serious relationship and family involved in this. But we don't intimate but virtual intimacy was there. But this year in january we for first time got intimate and after 4 time of intimacy he confess me this that he physical one time and two time just visit their to see naked dance but failed due to some reason. Now He told me that he felt it will be cheating if he not told me this now. One side I am depressed and fear to loose him. He repetitively beg pardon from me and told that this was his peer pressure and now he mature enough to say no this.. Now he can't imagine his life without me. I don't want to loose him but can't forgive or forgot this. Now he repeatedly told me to marry him and proposed me romantically. He repeatedly want pardon from me . I love him very much that I want to forget all things and start from first again. But will it be right, if I easily forgive him than is he got much confidence to do this again?? I am depressed and confused. Pls help me . What will be right decision in this situation? Forgive him or not?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whether you want to forgive him or not is your decision. But I would wonder if he has confessed all of it. The risk of carrying infections from visiting these places is heavy; so before jumping into any physical act with him, do suggest to him that he gets himself tested. He may oppose it, but be firm on it.
You love him and that's all okay...But is he in love with you OR is he wants to be with you because his family is involved as well?

What is a red flag is the fact that he was still visiting red light areas while he was in a relationship with you. Do you not want to know why? Do you not want to know what makes him beg for your forgiveness now? Till such time that you are satisfied and you can trust him again, do not act in a hurry.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7749 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

Listen
Money
Hi ,I am 33 yr old living in Mumbai in heavy deposit of 8 lac with 6k per month rent and my in hand salary is 63000 per month ,I cannot save money as my 30 k goes to home (rent,food n all) 30k goes to credit card bill. I have PPF account of 32 k and have a SIP account but zero balance in SIP e as earlier I used to invest in there due to debt I am not able to invest anymore. I don't have mediclaim. Main reason I cannot save is my wife as a home loan of 25000 per month and she is not working currently as a housewife for which I cannot save. Kindly suggest how to overcome debt as every month I couldn't save any penny.
Ans: Your total in-hand salary is Rs. 63,000 per month.
Rs. 30,000 goes toward rent, food, and other household expenses.
Rs. 30,000 is paid toward credit card bills.
Your wife's home loan EMI is Rs. 25,000 per month.
No savings are possible due to high fixed expenses.
You have Rs. 32,000 in PPF but no active SIP.
You do not have health insurance.
Immediate Steps to Overcome Debt
1. Prioritise Debt Repayment

Stop using credit cards immediately.
Pay more than the minimum due on your credit card each month.
If possible, convert outstanding dues into an EMI to reduce interest.
Avoid taking further loans or using credit cards for daily expenses.
2. Restructure Household Budget

Reduce discretionary spending such as dining out, subscriptions, and luxury expenses.
Identify ways to cut rent or household costs.
Explore shifting to a slightly lower rental home to save a few thousand per month.
Control grocery, electricity, and entertainment expenses.
3. Increase Cash Flow

Your wife should consider part-time, freelance, or online work.
Even Rs. 15,000–20,000 per month from her side can help manage EMIs.
Sell any non-essential assets like gold, old electronics, or other valuables to clear some debt.
Building Financial Stability
1. Create an Emergency Fund

Set aside at least Rs. 10,000 monthly once debt is under control.
Keep 3–6 months of expenses in a savings account or liquid fund.
2. Restart Investments

Once debt is manageable, restart SIPs in mutual funds for long-term wealth creation.
Prioritise tax-saving options like PPF and ELSS once your financial situation improves.
3. Get Health Insurance

Buy a health insurance policy of at least Rs. 5–10 lakh for you and your wife.
This will prevent future medical emergencies from becoming financial burdens.
Final Insights
Your biggest challenge is high fixed expenses and credit card debt.
Cutting expenses and increasing household income can help reduce financial pressure.
Once debts are under control, focus on savings and investments.
Health insurance is a must to avoid unexpected medical costs.
Implementing these steps consistently will help you achieve financial stability over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7749 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

Listen
Money
I save approx 90 thousand INR per month. Where should I invest it. I don't want to keep it saving account. This I save after monthly SIP of 30000. Please advice.
Ans: You already invest Rs 30,000 per month in SIPs.

You save Rs 90,000 per month after SIPs.

You want better returns than a savings account.

A clear investment plan will help in long-term wealth creation.

Key Factors Before Investing
Emergency Fund
Keep at least six months of expenses in liquid funds.

This ensures financial security in case of emergencies.

Short-Term Needs
Identify any expenses in the next 3 to 5 years.

Use safer instruments for short-term goals.

Long-Term Growth
Invest for wealth creation.

Balance between equity and debt based on risk appetite.

Investment Allocation for Rs 90,000 Per Month
1. Equity Mutual Funds (Rs 50,000 per month)
Invest in actively managed equity mutual funds.

Diversify across large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds.

This ensures long-term capital appreciation.

2. Debt Mutual Funds (Rs 20,000 per month)
Provides stability and diversification.

Useful for balancing equity risk.

Ideal for short-term needs.

3. Gold Investment (Rs 10,000 per month)
Gold helps in diversification.

Protects against inflation.

Invest in gold ETFs or sovereign gold bonds.

4. Fixed Income Instruments (Rs 10,000 per month)
Use PPF or fixed deposits for stability.

PPF is tax-free and offers long-term benefits.

Fixed deposits provide liquidity and security.

Additional Investment Considerations
Increase SIP Contributions
If your income increases, raise your SIPs.

This ensures long-term wealth growth.

Avoid Unnecessary Risks
Do not invest in stocks without research.

Avoid high-risk derivative trading.

Review Your Investments Regularly
Monitor your portfolio every six months.

Rebalance based on market conditions.

Final Insights
Invest based on goals and time horizon.

Equity for long-term growth, debt for stability.

Gold provides inflation protection.

A balanced approach ensures financial security.

Regular reviews improve investment efficiency.

A structured investment plan will help you grow wealth efficiently.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7749 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

Listen
Money
HELLO SIR, SOME PEOPLE TAKE LOANS AGAINST MUTUAL FUNDS AND INVEST IN THE STOCK MARKET OR AGAIN IN MUTUAL FUNDS SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT IT? THANKS.
Ans: Taking a loan against mutual funds and investing in stocks or mutual funds is risky. It can amplify gains, but it also increases losses. A structured approach is necessary before considering such a move.

Understanding Loan Against Mutual Funds
A loan against mutual funds allows borrowing against existing investments.

The lender provides funds based on the fund’s value.

Interest is charged on the borrowed amount.

The loan amount depends on the type of mutual fund.

Equity funds get a lower loan amount due to volatility.

Debt funds get a higher loan amount due to stability.

Key Risks of This Strategy
Market Risk
If markets fall, the value of mutual funds decreases.

The lender may ask for additional funds.

If unable to pay, the lender may sell mutual fund units.

Interest Burden
Interest charges reduce overall returns.

If investments do not perform well, losses increase.

Returns must be higher than the loan interest to make gains.

Liquidity Issues
Mutual funds remain pledged with the lender.

In an emergency, withdrawal is not possible.

This creates financial stress.

Compounding of Losses
Borrowing to invest increases risks.

If new investments lose value, losses multiply.

Debt burden increases if market returns are negative.

Potential Benefits (Only If Used Carefully)
Can provide liquidity without selling investments.

May work if investments give higher returns than loan interest.

Useful if markets are at a strong growth phase.

Suitable for short-term liquidity needs if repayment is quick.

Alternative and Safer Approaches
Use Emergency Fund Instead of a Loan
Always keep at least six months’ expenses as an emergency fund.

This avoids unnecessary borrowing.

Avoid Borrowing for Stock Market Investments
Investing with borrowed money is risky.

A market downturn can wipe out capital.

Never invest with money that is not owned.

Increase SIP Instead of Taking a Loan
A disciplined SIP approach creates wealth.

It avoids unnecessary interest payments.

Long-term investing in equity mutual funds provides better risk-adjusted returns.

Who Should Completely Avoid This Strategy?
Investors with no stable income.

Those with existing high-interest loans.

People without an emergency fund.

Investors with low risk tolerance.

Those new to stock markets or mutual funds.

Final Insights
Borrowing against mutual funds is a high-risk strategy.

Interest costs can reduce or wipe out potential gains.

It is only suitable for short-term liquidity needs.

Safer investment approaches provide better financial stability.

Building wealth through consistent savings and investing is a better strategy.

Avoid unnecessary risks and focus on sustainable wealth creation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7749 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Ramalingam Sir, I am a US Citizen with age 54.5 . Two kids , daughter already graduated and working with no education loan, Son is studying in IIT Chennai 2nd year. I have not invested in any stocks or MF. Current saving is US$1.0 million, with average returns of 5.5%, 3.5 Cr NRE FD with 7.5% return. Have around INR 40.0 L in ULIP plan. Around INR 2.0 Cr in term insurance with yearly payment of INR 1.3 L per year. Have two property in India giving me rent of INR 50,000/- per month. INR 1.0 CR in High value return ( 1.55 L/month). Have liability of 1.2 Cr. US$1.3 Million in 401(K) (as of today and I expect to grow 10% per year) . Real estate (Land/plots/commercials) investment in India is close to US$5.0 Million. My wife is already retired. I am planning on returning to India for good and do not wish to work anymore (My health is not permitting me any more) . My monthly expense is around INR 1.5 L/month and I already have a house fully paid in India. I do not wish to take lot of risk. Kindly suggest how should I manage my finance.
Ans: You have done well in building your wealth. Your financial assets and income sources are strong. You also have a well-settled daughter and a son studying at IIT Chennai.

Your total investments and assets provide stability. You have built a mix of USD savings, Indian fixed deposits, insurance, and rental income. You also have a large real estate portfolio.

Your goal is to return to India and live a financially stress-free life. You do not want to take high risks. Your monthly expenses are well covered, but financial planning will help optimize your assets.

Optimizing Your Existing Investments

Your financial assets generate steady returns. However, some areas need better allocation.

Your NRE FD of Rs. 3.5 crore earns 7.5%. This is a stable income source. Continue this but monitor rates.

Your USD 1.0 million savings generate 5.5% returns. This is reasonable, but consider diversifying some funds into low-risk Indian debt instruments.

Your ULIP worth Rs. 40 lakh may have high charges. Evaluate surrendering it and reinvesting in more efficient investment options.

Your high-value return investment of Rs. 1 crore provides Rs. 1.55 lakh per month. Ensure its safety and sustainability.

Your 401(K) of USD 1.3 million has strong potential growth at 10% annually. This should be retained for long-term wealth preservation.

Managing Your Liabilities

You have a liability of Rs. 1.2 crore. Clearing this should be a priority.

Use a portion of your savings to pay off the liability gradually.

Avoid withdrawing large sums from your 401(K) due to tax implications.

If the liability has a high interest rate, clearing it faster will improve cash flow.

Generating Stable Passive Income

Your current passive income sources include rent and high-value return investments. You need to strengthen this further for long-term stability.

Rental Income: Rs. 50,000 per month is useful. Ensure tenants are reliable and rent payments are timely.

Fixed Deposits: Continue keeping some funds in FDs for stable returns. However, diversify into other low-risk options.

Debt Mutual Funds: Consider investing a portion of your savings in well-managed debt mutual funds. These offer liquidity and steady returns.

Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS) and RBI Bonds: Once eligible, you can allocate a portion of your funds to SCSS for secure interest income. RBI Bonds also provide stable earnings.

Reallocating Investments for Better Growth

Your portfolio is largely in fixed-income assets and real estate. This ensures stability but limits long-term growth. A better allocation will help protect your wealth while generating steady returns.

Mutual Funds: Allocate a portion of your USD savings and NRE FD maturity into actively managed mutual funds. These provide professional management and inflation-beating returns.

Balanced Allocation: A mix of conservative debt funds and well-managed equity mutual funds will ensure both safety and growth.

Avoid Index Funds: Index funds provide average returns and do not adapt to market changes. Actively managed funds offer better risk-adjusted growth.

Gold ETFs: If interested in gold, opt for gold ETFs instead of physical gold. These are safer and avoid storage concerns.

Evaluating Insurance Coverage

Your term insurance cover of Rs. 2 crore is sufficient. However, the premium of Rs. 1.3 lakh per year should be reassessed.

If your dependents are financially secure, reducing coverage can free up funds.

Check if there are more cost-effective term insurance plans available.

Avoid insurance plans with investment components, as they have high costs and low returns.

Building a Medical Emergency Fund

Your wife is already retired, and your health is a concern. Medical expenses should be well covered.

Health Insurance: Ensure you have a strong health insurance policy covering hospitalization and critical illnesses.

Medical Emergency Fund: Keep at least Rs. 50 lakh liquid for medical emergencies. This can be in a fixed deposit or a liquid mutual fund.

Long-Term Care Planning: Consider plans that cover assisted living or home healthcare needs.

Tax Planning for NRI to Resident Transition

Your tax situation will change once you return to India permanently. Planning ahead will avoid unnecessary tax burdens.

NRE FDs: Interest earned is tax-free only while you are an NRI. After returning, they become taxable. Consider shifting funds accordingly.

Tax on Rental Income: Rental income in India is taxable. Utilize deductions like municipal taxes and standard deduction of 30%.

401(K) Withdrawals: Understand tax implications before withdrawing funds. Consult an expert to minimize tax liability.

Capital Gains on Real Estate: If selling property, plan reinvestment or capital gains exemption options wisely.

Estate Planning for a Secure Future

You have built significant wealth across different assets. Estate planning will ensure smooth transfer to your heirs.

Will Creation: Draft a clear will to distribute assets as per your wishes.

Nomination Updates: Ensure all bank accounts, mutual funds, and insurance policies have updated nominees.

Power of Attorney: If needed, assign a trusted person to manage finances in case of health issues.

Trust Formation: If required, consider a trust for seamless wealth transfer and tax efficiency.

Finally

You have created a strong financial foundation. With proper planning, you can enjoy a secure and stress-free retirement in India.

Your passive income sources largely cover expenses. A few adjustments will further strengthen financial security.

Managing liabilities, reallocating investments, and ensuring medical coverage are key priorities. With the right approach, your wealth will last for generations.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7749 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
Hi, I am 22 year old, lost all my savings and earning, I earn 33k/month, Have cronic disease of ULCERATIVE COLITIS IBD, IN 2021, I lost 40k in option trading then I stopped last year in 2023 I started working and lost 2.8 lakh including interest on loan, Took 2 High interest top up loan. I don't know what happened to me I took another loan of 228000 from HDFC which I lost in one day, now I have EMI of 19068 every month, no body in family know about this and my father earns only 18 k per month, losing 4.4 lakh total. Now lost and direction less.
Ans: You are going through a tough time. First, take a deep breath. Mistakes happen, and financial losses can be recovered. Your situation can be improved step by step. Below is a detailed plan to help you get back on track.

Understanding Your Financial Situation
You earn Rs 33,000 per month.

You have a total debt of Rs 4.4 lakh.

Your current EMI is Rs 19,068 per month.

Your father earns Rs 18,000 per month.

You lost money in options trading and high-interest loans.

You have ulcerative colitis, which requires medical attention.

Immediate Actions to Stop Further Damage
Completely stop all trading activities. Options trading is highly risky. You have already lost a large amount. Avoid any form of trading or gambling.

Do not take any more loans. Your current debt burden is already high. Additional loans will worsen your situation.

Reduce unnecessary expenses. Your priority is survival and debt repayment. Cut down on luxury, entertainment, and eating out.

Inform the bank about your situation. If you struggle with EMI payments, request a lower EMI or restructuring. Some banks offer relief options.

Avoid using credit cards. Credit card debt carries high interest. If you have outstanding dues, pay only the minimum amount for now.

Debt Management Strategy
List all loans with interest rates and tenures. Prioritize clearing high-interest loans first.

Consider a personal loan balance transfer. If you find a lower-interest option, transferring your loan can reduce your EMI burden.

Increase EMI payment when possible. Paying more than the minimum EMI will reduce your overall interest burden.

Try negotiating with lenders. Some banks may offer lower interest rates or waive penalties for good borrowers.

Building a Stable Financial Foundation
Create a monthly budget. Allocate funds for rent, food, medical expenses, EMI, and savings. Stick to it strictly.

Start a small emergency fund. Save at least Rs 5,000 per month in a separate account. Do not touch this money.

Look for additional income sources. Try freelance work, part-time jobs, or skill-based gigs to increase earnings.

Seek medical financial assistance. Check if your employer provides health insurance. If not, explore government or private schemes.

Emotional and Mental Health Support
Talk to a trusted friend or family member. Keeping everything inside can cause stress. Seek support from someone you trust.

Consult a financial counselor. A professional can help you restructure your debts and plan better.

Practice stress management techniques. Exercise, meditation, and proper sleep will help you stay mentally strong.

Long-Term Financial Recovery Plan
Avoid any high-risk investments. Focus on stable investments once you are financially stable.

Enhance your skills for better career growth. Upskilling can increase your income over time.

Build a long-term savings habit. Even Rs 1,000 per month in a safe investment will help you grow wealth.

Final Insights
Your financial problems are serious but not impossible to solve.

Your priority is debt repayment and stability, not investment or quick money-making methods.

Take control, follow a strict financial plan, and be patient. Improvement will take time, but you can recover.

Seek professional financial and medical advice where needed.

You are young, and you have time to rebuild. Stay strong and focused.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7749 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
Hello sir, I am Ganesh, unmarried and just started 25 years old in life..I am earning 50k per month salary. I need a detailed plan for managing my salary in different areas. My expenses 15000 Save money for parents Have to invest somewhere for future use Have to save some amount for emergency situations. Extra expenses Could you please give me a detailed process on it.
Ans: At 25, you have a great opportunity to build a strong financial base. Managing your salary properly now will help you in the future. Below is a detailed breakdown of how to allocate your income effectively.

1. Understanding Your Monthly Income and Expenses

Your monthly salary is Rs. 50,000.

Fixed expenses, including rent, food, and bills, are Rs. 15,000.

You want to save for your parents.

You need to invest for future growth.

You want to save for emergencies.

You have extra expenses that vary.

A structured approach will help you meet all these goals.

2. Allocating Your Salary Efficiently

A good way to divide your income is using a structured plan. You can follow this method:

50% for essential expenses – This covers rent, food, bills, and necessary costs.

30% for investments and savings – This will help grow your money over time.

10% for emergency savings – This ensures you have money for unexpected situations.

10% for extra expenses and lifestyle – This is for entertainment, travel, and hobbies.

This allocation ensures that you balance living today and securing your future.

3. Managing Fixed Expenses

Your fixed expenses are Rs. 15,000, which is 30% of your salary.

You are already spending within a good limit.

Always track where your money is going.

Avoid unnecessary spending on subscriptions and impulse shopping.

Use cashback offers and discounts whenever possible.

Reducing unnecessary spending can increase your savings and investments.

4. Supporting Your Parents Financially

Set aside a fixed amount every month for them.

If they need medical support, consider a health insurance plan.

Instead of giving a lump sum, help them with small monthly contributions.

Discuss their financial needs so you can plan effectively.

Even a small, regular contribution will make a big difference over time.

5. Saving for Emergency Situations

You should have at least 6 months’ expenses saved for emergencies.

Set aside Rs. 5,000 per month in a liquid fund or savings account.

This money should only be used for medical, job loss, or urgent needs.

Keep the emergency fund separate from other savings.

This fund will provide peace of mind during unexpected financial difficulties.

6. Investing for Future Growth

Your investments should be planned based on your goals and risk tolerance.

Mutual Funds: Start SIPs in equity mutual funds to build wealth.

PPF: Invest Rs. 12,500 annually for safe long-term growth.

NPS: Consider investing in NPS for retirement savings and tax benefits.

Gold: Avoid investing in physical gold, but digital gold or gold ETFs can be considered.

Investing early will help your money grow faster over time.

7. Managing Extra Expenses and Lifestyle Costs

Keep a budget for travel, entertainment, and hobbies.

Avoid spending too much on unnecessary things.

Use credit cards carefully and pay bills on time.

If you want to upgrade your lifestyle, increase your income first.

Planning for extra expenses ensures you enjoy life without financial stress.

8. Planning for Career Growth

Your salary will increase over time, so plan for future growth.

Upskill yourself with new courses to get better job opportunities.

Consider setting aside money for certifications or higher studies.

Networking and learning new skills can boost your income.

Improving your career will increase your earning potential and financial stability.

9. Tax Planning to Save Money

Use deductions under Section 80C by investing in PPF, ELSS, or NPS.

Get health insurance to save tax under Section 80D.

Keep records of all investments and expenses to file tax returns easily.

Use HRA and other tax-saving options to reduce taxable income.

Smart tax planning will help you keep more of your earnings.

10. Tracking and Adjusting Your Financial Plan

Review your budget every month.

Track investments and savings to ensure you are on the right path.

Increase your investment amounts whenever your salary increases.

Avoid unnecessary debt and maintain financial discipline.

Regular tracking helps in achieving long-term financial success.

Finally

You have made a great decision to plan your finances early. By following this structured plan, you can balance your expenses, support your parents, save for emergencies, and invest for a secure future.

Stay disciplined, track your finances regularly, and keep increasing your savings as your income grows.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x