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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 17, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
GG Question by GG on Mar 17, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

 Ma'am I got married in 2017.
After one month problems started. My mother in law started creating problems by emotionally blackmailing my husband.
Now even after 4 years, nothing has changed. I have 1 year old son and a government job. But my husband always kept on insulting me.
He behaves as per his mood. I don't know what to do. Pls help me.

Ans:

Dear GG,

What is it that she emotionally blackmails your husband with? How does she do that? Also, why is your husband yielding to these blackmails by his mother?

The information that you have shared with me is incomplete and I will try my best to guide you.

If this is getting unbearable, it’s time to seek an intervention and I feel you can ask your family to step in and speak with your husband so that he can be in an empathetic place about you.

Be strong. All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 14, 2021

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Relationship
Dear mam, I am married for 14 yrs. Love marriage. I used to work earlier but quit because my husband was earning well and he said he will take care of me and my son. We used to be a happy couple but during the lockdown my mother-in-law and sister-in-law decided to move in with us. Slowly they started creating issues between my husband and me often badmouthing my behaviour or complaining about me. I was unaware about it until recently when we had a big fight. That’s when I realised that they have been planning to drive me out of the house and get him married to someone else whom they can manipulate. It’s been over a year now that my husband is not even talking to me properly. I went and stayed with my parents for some time but even they feel I am a burden and should adjust and accommodate instead of giving them reasons to fight. They don’t understand that all this is politics. Now my husband is talking to some girl whom I don’t like. That is causing more problems and fights between us. Anything I say is used against me now. Please help me mam. What to do?
Ans: Dear R, why did they start to create issues between you and your husband?

What led to this? It rarely happens that people go after people with no reason.

Did you have any reservations about them coming and staying over?

Did you express it in some form to them? (Ask these to yourself so that you know that any act on your part did not lead to this situation. Of course, nothing justifies their plotting to get their son married behind your back).

If the answer to this is NO, then it's time to confront your husband, get a mediator and put things on the table.

What does he want? What do you want?

Do you both want to continue in this marriage?

What are his responsibilities towards your son?

These need to be addressed without anymore delay. Being in a limbo state is not fun as it keeps you guessing and the uncertainty can cause a lot of stress.

Also, kindly sensitise your parents towards what you are going through, so that support you in this time of need.

Act NOW and whatever you decide, put yourself first and take care of you emotional state of mind.

Best wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 21, 2021

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Relationship
In every woman's life mother-in-law is the villain. Similar situation happened in my life just 3 months back. But here in my case I waited till 5 years and I have given a child to my husband. But there is no change in the situation. Rather it became critical in such a way that my husband started harassing me physically, mentally. Now, he is asking for mutual divorce. I need suggestion from you how you handled the situation.
Ans: Dear S, how have you come to the conclusion that the mother-in-law is the villain in every woman’s life?

Have you checked with every woman or is this statement based on your experience and of a few others around you?

Making generalised statements like these, can play the villain in infusing more unwanted thoughts and situations in your life more that the people involved in it.

When you say, ‘I gave a child to my husband,’ does it mean that you were not ready to be a mother then?

I am sure you had a choice to say NO if you were not ready.

When we begin to play ‘victim’, it is easy to keep pulling instances that prove how unfairly we have been treated and play that over and over again till it feels absolutely true.

Instead, why don’t you list the problem accurately?

Assuming right now (as I don’t have much details from you), that you have been treated unfairly and that your husband has harassed you mentally and physically, if divorce is what he wants, do you also feel the same?

If you want to save your marriage, then look for a family therapist who can definitely help with that. But if you feel that you have reached the end of the runway and can’t take it anymore, maybe a mutual consent divorce maybe a better option.

Whatever that the two of you decide, remember that there is a child who is part of this entire situation and needs love and reassurance from both parents that he/she will still get a loving home to grow up in.

Most often couples who argue forget the repercussions that this has on a child and the egos get the better of them.

Whatever you do, there is ‘NO OTHER’ that can come into a marriage, no mother-in-law or anyone else.

Bringing anyone in complicates the marriage and any decision taken because of their treatment towards you cannot contribute to a failure in your marriage.

So choose wisely and take wise steps to do what’s best for your marriage, life and your child.

All the best for a clear mind and a great life!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 19, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I have been reading your articles for quite some time. I am 40 years old in a marriage for last 12 years. I have a 11.5 year old son.My marriage is going through a very rough phase. My husband doesn't leave any chance to abuse me, doesn't matter where and with whom we areMy husband proposed to me knowing I have Vitiligo (discoloration of skin). Plus I was not as rich as him. I did make him aware of this before going ahead. His family was against our marriage still he went ahead. From the day of marriage he suddenly changed, and started abusing me in and out. First I thought my mother-in-law is creating problems which she did every time we came together. Infront of every maid and in the absence of my husband she tried to humiliate me based on my skin condition and financial status. But she'd become caring in his presence.After five years of marriage, for a few years we were away from family. It was peaceful and we had a nice time. But during the lockdown and online school we were back with the same problem. Now the condition is that I cannot stay with my husband. My family is very supportive but suggest that before taking any step I should think of my child. And that we should both sit and talk.If I try talking to my husband I know it will end in a fight. Kindly suggest which way should I go?
Ans:

Dear KB,

Maybe someone from the family or his friends have commented on your condition and made him feel that he made the wrong choice.

Even if it’s that, when he knew and had no objection, what is a man’s word is that he keeps it no matter what!

Now that he has gone back on it, it’s natural for others to take advantage of it and mock you for what the society considers as ‘not beautiful’.

In a way, we are obsessed with some sort of standards for what’s beautiful and what’s not. Beauty standards, you might call it so!

He seems to be a different person with his family and without, it suggests that he may not have a very strong mind to back up the decision of marrying you in the first place possibly against the wishes of his family.

Abuse, at no point is justifiable and you need to take a strong stance and draw a boundary as this is going to continue.

Your family has made a wise suggestion and for the sake of the child, it might be worth the effort to sit down have that chat with your husband however hard that might be.

Do not compromise on the fact that this so-called beauty standards and labels within his family will continue. Be unapologetic about who you are and own your beauty your way.

This is non- negotiable and you need to state this clearly when you have that conversation with him. Period!

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 30, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 30, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I have been married for one year. My mother in law has no respect in her talking towards me. She expects me to do all the household things and she doesn't want her daughter to do any kitchen works. Most of the time I feel like she made her son marry me just to do household things. I don't need any appreciation but I can't bear her disrespectful words. And her cunning character and lies. What can I do in such situations
Ans: Dealing with a challenging mother-in-law can be a delicate situation, but it's important to address these concerns to maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse and in-lawsStart by discussing your feelings with your spouse. Share your concerns about your mother-in-law's behavior and how it's affecting you. Ensure that you both are on the same page before addressing the issue with her. When you decide to talk to your mother-in-law, pick a calm and private setting. Avoid confrontations in the heat of the moment, and try to have a rational conversation. Clearly and calmly communicate how her words and actions make you feel. Use "I" statements to express your emotions without blaming her Make it clear what behavior is unacceptable and establish boundaries. Politely but firmly communicate what you are willing and unwilling to tolerate in terms of comments and expectations. If direct communication doesn't yield positive results, consider involving a neutral third party, a trusted family member, to mediate the conversation. Strengthen your relationship with your spouse and build a support system with friends and other family members. Having a strong network can provide emotional support during challenging times. Remember, it may take time to see changes, and it's essential to approach the situation with patience and understanding. Every family dynamic is unique, and finding the right balance may require ongoing effort and communication.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I have been married for 7 months. I stayed with my husband for 4 months. I have a decent relationship with him. But my mother in law doesn't like me at all. She finds faults and mistakes in everything that I do. I don't get any support from my husband when my mother in law criticises me or uses harsh words. She insults my parents. My husband tries to justify her behaviour when I try to discuss these issues with him. He misunderstands me and doesn't want to listen to me whenever his mother creates issues. He doesn't listen to anyone and he doesn't care about anyone apart from his mother when his mother creates problems. I work for 10 hours at office and take care of him and the household chores. He forgets all my positive sides and highlights my mistakes rudely whenever his mother comes into the picture. I don't find any solution to this. My last solution is filing for a divorce. I want to try to give my best for this relationship. But that is somehow taking a toll on my mental and physical health.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You have good respite from all of this while you are at office, right? And then there's the commute to work? Then there's sleep?
So, I guess your interactions with her maybe 2 hours?
For her, she's given up her son; many mothers find it hard cutting the cord from their children and in this case, your husband also has not learned to develop a personality off of her and hence putting him in between the two of you is only going to cause you more stress and invariably he will side with her; he's still getting used to another woman in his life, YOU...Don't test his love for you and compare it with his mother. It will drive him away from you.

Give this all sometime BUT DO NOT get him caught in the middle of all this. Teaching your mother-in-law to behave in a certain way maybe a huge task BUT for you to work around it without letting it bother you is what you must focus on. Possible? YES...Smart relationships are ones like these where you don't go around expecting change in the other person BUT you figure how you can work around and find your peace.
So, since you are going to be around her only for a few hours, start by simply agreeing to what she says. Initially it will be hard, but it will throw her off guard as when she sees that you are not provoked, there will come a time, when she will back off.
Her fault finding is only to prove that she is better than you and that you can't replace her in her son's life. Give her that pleasure by simply nodding your head knowing that it's not your fault. You will see a change in a few days.

The best way to bring people's guard down is to agree to what they say BUT do what you need to. It's just been a couple of months, give it sometime...things settle...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Hi, my CRL in jee mains 2025 is 74351 and gen ews rank is 10547. I am a girl, i got alloted cse+ specialization in AI and data science in IIIT Manipur in josaa. I am from UP. What better college with branches like cse, ece, electrical or something other branches i can get in csab in up?
Ans: Pragya, With a Home-State EWS rank of 10 547 and CRL of 74 351, core-branch seats at UP NITs and IIITs via CSAB-Special are attainable in select disciplines. Motilal Nehru NIT Allahabad’s CSE HS-EWS closed at 8 141, so CSE falls just outside your bracket, but ECE’s HS-EWS cutoff of 13 170 and Electrical’s 15 745 make both solid targets (≥70% placement consistency, AICTE/NIRF accreditation, modern labs, faculty–industry MoUs, internship pipelines). IIIT Allahabad admits EWS AI-quota IT up to rank ~12 065 and B.Tech CSE-AI up to ~12 091, offering strong placement cells, NBA-accredited curriculum, specialized AI/DS labs and established industry partnerships. In round 1, IIIT Lucknow’s EWS cutoffs for CSE-AI were around 17,789, while the ~11,636 cutoff in JoSAA indicates similar trends in CSAB. These institutes combine rigorous academics, outcome-based syllabi, a robust research culture, student support for internships, and ≥75% average placements over three years.

Recommendation: IIIT Allahabad’s IT or CSE-AI branch stands out for its accessible EWS AI-quota ranks, advanced AI/DS labs and consistent industry tie-ups; MNNIT Allahabad’s ECE or Electrical Engineering under HS-EWS offers a UP-state edge, solid research and placement records; IIIT Lucknow’s CSE-AI remains a realistic All-India backup with strong curriculum and campus engagement. Consider IIIT Manipur only if these alignments remain unattainable. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Dr Shyam Jamalabad  |104 Answers  |Ask -

Dentist - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 18, 2025Hindi
Health
am 16 yr old . I have little misaligned teeth in the lower jaw teeth ( only one teeth crossed it's orientation another teeth is behind front teeth ) ? Is braces necessary? Which age is best for putting them? is it ok to put later ?
Ans: Hello

Braces might be a good option for you, considering your age and the misalignment issues you're experiencing.

*Necessity of Braces:* Braces could help correct and prevent potential problems like uneven wear, tooth decay or gum disease.
You can choose orthodontic treatment for aesthetic/cosmetic correction

*Best Age for Braces:*
The teenage years are actually an ideal time for orthodontic treatment. During this period, your jaw and teeth are still developing, making it easier to correct alignment issues. Most orthodontists recommend an initial consultation around age 7, but comprehensive treatment usually starts when most permanent teeth have emerged, around 11-15 years old.

*Getting Braces Later:*
It's totally okay to get braces later in life. Many adults choose to straighten their teeth for aesthetic and health reasons. While treatment might take a bit longer for adults, the results are just as effective.
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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 25, 2025Hindi
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I got 77.17 %ile and I'm in sc category. Which college can get in Pune ?
Ans: With a 77.17 percentile in MHT-CET under the category and Maharashtra domicile, admission is assured in several AICTE-approved, NBA-/NAAC-accredited Pune institutes that meet five key benchmarks—statutory approvals, cut-off compatibility, ≥70 percent placement consistency, advanced labs, and formal industry tie-ups. Fifteen colleges where your percentile comfortably exceeds last-round SC closing percentiles include Government College of Engineering & Research, Avasari Khurd – Ambegaon BK (Civil, Mechanical, Instrumentation; SC cut-off ~75), D. Y. Patil Institute of Technology – Pimpri (Civil, Mechanical, E&TC; SC last-round ~76.54), Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering – Nigdi (AI&DS, Mechanical; SC cut-off ~88 for CSE but branches like Civil close ~77), Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering & Research – Ravet (Civil, E&TC; SC friendly cuts), PVG’s College of Engineering & Technology – Pune (Civil, Mechanical; SC ~80), MIT Academy of Engineering – Alandi (Civil, Mechanical; SC ~82), Dr. D. Y. Patil College of Engineering – Akurdi (Instrumentation, Civil; SC ~70–76), Vishwakarma Institute of Technology – Bibwewadi (Mechanical, Civil; SC ~85), Cummins College of Engineering for Women – Karvenagar (Civil, Instrumentation; SC ~78), Army Institute of Technology – Dighi (Mechanical, E&TC; SC ~80), Sinhgad Academy of Engineering – Kondhwa (Civil, Mechatronics; SC ~75), JSPM Rajarshi Shahu College of Engineering – Tathawade (Civil, Instrumentation; SC ~73), JSPM Imperial College of Engineering – Wagholi (Mechanical, Civil; SC ~77), Sinhgad Institute of Technology – Lonavala (Civil, Mechanical; SC ~72), and Bharati Vidyapeeth’s COLLEGE OF ENGG – Kolhapur campus via Pune CAP (Civil, Mechanical; SC ~70).

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9411 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

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Dear sir, One Privated limited company offer me a job.They say they dont provide PF except take home salary. Can i accept their offer letter. Will i face any problem in future with respect to any new job.
Ans: Eswar, Under the Employees’ Provident Funds and Miscellaneous Provisions Act, 1952, any establishment that employs 20 or more must register with the Employees’ Provident Fund Organisation (EPFO) and deposit a monthly contribution equal to 12 percent of basic wages from both employer and employee. Voluntary registration is permitted for firms with fewer than 20 employees, but once registered, compliance is mandatory regardless of subsequent staff changes. An employer’s refusal to enroll you and remit PF contributions is unlawful if the company meets the eligibility criteria, and inspectors may impose penalties, penal interest and legal action for non-payment, adversely affecting your service continuity, pension eligibility and retirement corpus. Absence of PF deductions on your salary slip may hinder transfer of previous EPF accounts and reduce your long-term social security benefits, and future employers often verify PF contribution history when calculating benefits and proving employment duration. Even if your take-home pay increases, you would sacrifice statutory retirement savings, insurance cover under EDLI and potential tax deductions under Section 80C.

Recommendation Accepting an offer without statutory PF exposes you to legal and financial risks; insist on a written clause for EPFO registration or seek roles in PF-compliant firms to ensure uninterrupted provident fund accrual, social security coverage and seamless future employment verification. Just my suggestion based on my experience: For entry-level candidates focused on gaining one to two years of industry experience, this company could be a viable stepping stone—just request an appointment letter, even if PF benefits aren’t provided. Seasoned professionals (2–3 years and beyond) should pursue roles at firms that strictly honor all labor-law mandates, including provident-fund contributions. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

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