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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 30, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 30, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I have been married for one year. My mother in law has no respect in her talking towards me. She expects me to do all the household things and she doesn't want her daughter to do any kitchen works. Most of the time I feel like she made her son marry me just to do household things. I don't need any appreciation but I can't bear her disrespectful words. And her cunning character and lies. What can I do in such situations

Ans: Dealing with a challenging mother-in-law can be a delicate situation, but it's important to address these concerns to maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse and in-lawsStart by discussing your feelings with your spouse. Share your concerns about your mother-in-law's behavior and how it's affecting you. Ensure that you both are on the same page before addressing the issue with her. When you decide to talk to your mother-in-law, pick a calm and private setting. Avoid confrontations in the heat of the moment, and try to have a rational conversation. Clearly and calmly communicate how her words and actions make you feel. Use "I" statements to express your emotions without blaming her Make it clear what behavior is unacceptable and establish boundaries. Politely but firmly communicate what you are willing and unwilling to tolerate in terms of comments and expectations. If direct communication doesn't yield positive results, consider involving a neutral third party, a trusted family member, to mediate the conversation. Strengthen your relationship with your spouse and build a support system with friends and other family members. Having a strong network can provide emotional support during challenging times. Remember, it may take time to see changes, and it's essential to approach the situation with patience and understanding. Every family dynamic is unique, and finding the right balance may require ongoing effort and communication.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1587 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 16, 2022

Relationship
Hope you are doing well.I am kinda mentally disturbed and badly need your suggestion. I have been in love and married for 13 yrs. I have a son and a daughter. I'm a working woman.I'm being constantly ill-treated by my mother-in-law. I know such issues exist in every household. But here, it has been a never-ending issue for 13 years now. She is very insecure, when it comes to household chores, my kids and my husband and feels all these areas should be in her control.She feels she is to be given utmost attention and only her thoughts and feelings to be respected and are always right. She insults me, mocks me, and doesn't treat me like a part of the family, though I’m selfless and continue to care for my in-laws and other family members. She keeps hurting me with her words, gestures and behaviour.To her, I'm like a constant pester and she doesn't feel satisfied with any chores or work at home or family. I'm a big mess. She often states 'I’m her` target` and will continue to hurt me verbally and with gestures.My husband doesn't raise questions on his mom's insane behaviour, as she threatens to harm herself.This is a routine she carries out, whenever she wants to. I have zero support from my husband to change his mom and or understand my feelings. Neither should I voice out my views or feelings. I have to look out for her moods and actions and act accordingly, any time.I have no self-respect, no dignity here. It doesn't feel like this is my house or my family, except for my kids. My kids are growing up and I feel I will lose respect amongst them, when she constantly taunts me and insults me for no reason.I have no parents or siblings to share my feelings. I open up with my close friends for a temporary vent out, otherwise, it really doesn't serve any purpose.I feel like I have to live eternally with this mental abuse, as I'm unable to put up with her behaviour and harassment. Acting as if I'm fine every day is killing me.This type of behaviour makes me feel very low and my self-esteem is affected. I feel worthless and my whole life feels like a sheer curse.Please help me get out of this situation and make my mother-in-law mend her behaviour towards me.Awaiting your response.
Ans:

Dear SS,

A story in many patriarchal households!

What can you do to change her and your husband’s attitude on this? Nothing at all.

It’s like a stubborn gene that wants to hold on to age-old beliefs where the mother-in-law rules the home and calls the shots, the son blindly supports his mother’s tantrums.

What can you do when your children also are growing up in this environment?

Here’s where you can put your foot down.

Your children have to learn to respect their mother for who she is. So, stop playing the victim in your situation and take charge.

I am sure the children are at an age where their minds are impressionable and can be beautifully shaped to accept different people in the household.

Instead of spending time cursing your situation, spend the same time being with your children, bonding with them.

Talk and spend a lot of time going out, watching TV, cooking, reading, listening to music and more.

What will start to happen is that the children will learn to hold space for you when you are down and out. And do take care that while you are bonding with them, never talk ill about their father or their grandmother.

This activity isn’t to distance one from the other but to give you a new way of thinking in the existing circumstances.

Having said this, if your husband is someday ready to talk to you about this, by all means be assertive.

Till then, it’s not necessary to suffer. Either you can fight and get fingers pointed back at you or you can negotiate a situation wisely to maintain the peace at home. You always have that choice.

Whatever you choose, never sit in silence and do nothing. That’s what your children will learn; to suffer in silence. So, time to make some subtle and meaningful changes?

Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1587 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 13, 2024

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1587 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I have been married for 7 months. I stayed with my husband for 4 months. I have a decent relationship with him. But my mother in law doesn't like me at all. She finds faults and mistakes in everything that I do. I don't get any support from my husband when my mother in law criticises me or uses harsh words. She insults my parents. My husband tries to justify her behaviour when I try to discuss these issues with him. He misunderstands me and doesn't want to listen to me whenever his mother creates issues. He doesn't listen to anyone and he doesn't care about anyone apart from his mother when his mother creates problems. I work for 10 hours at office and take care of him and the household chores. He forgets all my positive sides and highlights my mistakes rudely whenever his mother comes into the picture. I don't find any solution to this. My last solution is filing for a divorce. I want to try to give my best for this relationship. But that is somehow taking a toll on my mental and physical health.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You have good respite from all of this while you are at office, right? And then there's the commute to work? Then there's sleep?
So, I guess your interactions with her maybe 2 hours?
For her, she's given up her son; many mothers find it hard cutting the cord from their children and in this case, your husband also has not learned to develop a personality off of her and hence putting him in between the two of you is only going to cause you more stress and invariably he will side with her; he's still getting used to another woman in his life, YOU...Don't test his love for you and compare it with his mother. It will drive him away from you.

Give this all sometime BUT DO NOT get him caught in the middle of all this. Teaching your mother-in-law to behave in a certain way maybe a huge task BUT for you to work around it without letting it bother you is what you must focus on. Possible? YES...Smart relationships are ones like these where you don't go around expecting change in the other person BUT you figure how you can work around and find your peace.
So, since you are going to be around her only for a few hours, start by simply agreeing to what she says. Initially it will be hard, but it will throw her off guard as when she sees that you are not provoked, there will come a time, when she will back off.
Her fault finding is only to prove that she is better than you and that you can't replace her in her son's life. Give her that pleasure by simply nodding your head knowing that it's not your fault. You will see a change in a few days.

The best way to bring people's guard down is to agree to what they say BUT do what you need to. It's just been a couple of months, give it sometime...things settle...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 08, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am a CA, and I dont have much time or I dont somewhere like doing household chores but still my mother in law wants me to manage all household chores with office and studies. She only has to cook other household chores are done by me, still she is upset all the time, she never seems happy, the aura around her is very negative all the time. I try to be normal she never. What to do? Should I hire a cook and maid so that we both can relax.
Ans: It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of stress trying to balance your professional responsibilities with household chores, especially with the added pressure from your mother-in-law. It's important to address this situation in a way that maintains harmony at home while also ensuring you don't burn out.

First, have a calm and honest conversation with your mother-in-law. Explain how your work and studies demand a lot of your time and energy, and that you're finding it difficult to manage everything. Emphasize that it's not about shirking responsibilities but about finding a balance that works for everyone.

Suggest hiring a cook and a maid. This solution can help alleviate the workload for both of you, allowing your mother-in-law to relax and potentially improve her mood and overall atmosphere at home. Present it as a way to create a more peaceful and supportive environment, which can benefit both of you.

If she’s resistant, try to understand her concerns. She might feel that hiring help undermines her role or that it’s an unnecessary expense. Reassure her that the goal is to reduce stress and create a happier home, not to replace her or diminish her contributions.

In the meantime, take care of your well-being. Stress from work, studies, and household chores can take a toll on your mental and physical health. Ensure you have time for rest and relaxation, even if it means taking small breaks throughout the day.

Ultimately, finding a compromise that acknowledges both your needs and your mother-in-law’s feelings is key. This approach can help foster a more positive and supportive environment for everyone.

..Read more

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |1170 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Apr 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2025Hindi
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Money
Considering the current market conditions, I'm trying to decide whether it's wiser to invest in real estate or to continue investing in mutual funds. I already have some experience with mutual funds and have seen moderate returns, but I'm also attracted to the idea of owning a tangible asset like property, which could offer appreciation and rental income. I want to understand which option real estate or mutual funds is likely to offer better returns over the next 5 to 10 years, especially given the current economic environment, interest rates, inflation trends, and market volatility. How do factors like liquidity, maintenance, taxes, and risk compare between the two? Should I shift some of my investments into real estate for diversification, or is it more prudent to stay invested in mutual funds and possibly increase SIP contributions? I'm looking for a long-term strategy that helps with both capital growth and financial security.
Ans: Hello;

It is difficult to give an advice without knowing specifics of the case.

I would ideally recommend to include both in your portfolio but if it has to be a choice between the two, I would recommend real estate, as a general advice.

Liquidity, Maintenance, property tax are hassles and costs in real estate but asset price and monthly rentals are generally flat or headed northwards over time unless it is some odd case.

MFs holdings are highly liquid, No maintenance charges and efficient tax treatment. But it is subject to market vagaries.

Consult an investment advisor or a certified financial planner to seek more clarity and firm up your decision.

Best wishes;

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4421 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2025Hindi
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Career
i got 86.02 percentile in jee mains, i am under SC category from WEST BENGAL. can i get NIT DURGAPUR CSE BRANCH or any other branch
Ans: Here is, How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4421 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2025Hindi
Listen
Career
What are the chances to get admission for my son in NIT Trichy or Surathkal or Warangal if he gets around 149 marks in the Apr session of JEE mains 2025. We are from general category & would like to pursue for either Data Science or Electronics of Chemical Engineering. If not these institutes what are the chances for other govt institutes.
Ans: Here is, How to Predict Your Son's Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Son's Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect His Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

His JEE Main percentile
His category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
His Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
His Preferred locations (or if he is open to any location in India)
List of at least his 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If he is open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select His Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches he is interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your Son's admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4421 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 13, 2025

Listen
Career
My son got 94.56 percentage in jee mains in OBC category.he passed 12th delhi school.his residency in gurugram haryana.which college he can gwt
Ans: Here is, How to Predict Your Son's Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Son's Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect His Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

His JEE Main percentile
His category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
His Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
His Preferred locations (or if he is open to any location in India)
List of at least his 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If he is open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select His Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches he is interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your Son's admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |1170 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Apr 13, 2025

Listen
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8227 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2025Hindi
Money
I've recently lost my job and I'm in the process of looking for new opportunities. While I manage my job search, I'm also facing a situation where my father is in the hospital, and I need to manage both my finances and care for him. I have some savings, but I'm unsure how to balance my financial needs with the hospital expenses and ongoing bills. How can I manage my finances in the short term while looking for a job and dealing with hospital-related costs? Should I use my emergency fund for these expenses, or should I prioritize keeping that fund intact for more severe emergencies? I'm concerned that if I use too much of my savings, I may not be able to cover my basic living expenses if the job search takes longer than expected.
Ans: I’m truly sorry to hear about your current situation. It is tough to manage job loss and a family medical emergency at the same time. You’re showing great strength by trying to plan wisely. Let us now work through this together, step by step, with a simple and balanced plan.

Let’s focus on protecting your savings, handling current bills, and preparing for the next 3–6 months with a calm approach.

?

Review All Financial Resources First

• List your current savings, emergency fund, and other funds in bank accounts.

?

• Note all monthly expenses like rent, groceries, bills, and hospital costs.

?

• If you have any fixed deposits or investments, mark which ones can be broken easily without penalty.

?

• Avoid withdrawing from long-term mutual funds unless there is no other option.

?

• Create a written note of how long your money will last without any income.

?

Emergency Fund: Yes, Use It – But Mindfully

• Emergency fund is made for times like this. You can use it now.

?

• Use it first for medical and basic monthly needs only.

?

• Avoid spending it on non-essential expenses or lifestyle extras.

?

• Try to keep at least 1–2 months’ worth of expenses in reserve even now.

?

• You can refill this fund later once you are employed again.

?

Cut Down on Non-Essential Spending

• Pause or reduce spending on entertainment, subscriptions, and non-urgent items.

?

• Avoid buying anything on EMI or credit during this phase.

?

• Inform your family gently about the need to cut back temporarily.

?

• Cook at home, reduce travel, and delay purchases like gadgets or clothes.

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Talk to Hospital About Payment Options

• Some hospitals allow part payments or give discounts for cash or insurance claims.

?

• Ask them clearly if any help is available for people in financial stress.

?

• If your father has any insurance cover, submit all bills properly.

?

• If any relatives can support temporarily, accept it as a short-term help.

?

Temporarily Pause Long-Term Investments

• If you have SIPs or recurring investments running, consider pausing for now.

?

• Most SIPs allow you to stop for a few months without penalty.

?

• It is better to pause SIPs than to take a loan or credit card advance.

?

• You can restart all investments later once income restarts.

?

Prioritise Monthly Essentials First

• Make a list of top priority expenses – rent, groceries, electricity, transport, medicines.

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• Pay these without delay.

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• Delay or reduce less-important expenses like personal shopping, dining out, or travel.

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• If any credit card bills are due, pay minimum amount to avoid penalty.

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Job Search: Stay Active But Calm

• Spend at least 3–4 hours daily on job search and networking.

?

• Update your resume, contact ex-colleagues, register on portals.

?

• Tell friends and well-wishers that you're open to short-term freelance work too.

?

• Any side income like part-time teaching, writing, or consulting will reduce pressure.

Plan For 3 Months, Then Review

• Make a plan for the next 3 months based on the funds you have now.

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• List expected income (even if zero), known expenses, and gaps.

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• Revisit your plan monthly and adjust as the situation changes.

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• Keep written records of expenses. This will help you manage better.

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Avoid Taking Personal Loans or Credit Advances

• This is not a good time to take a new loan.

?

• Personal loans or credit card EMIs will add stress later.

?

• Use your own cash reserves or ask for trusted family help before using credit.

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Once Job Resumes, Rebuild Step by Step

• Start rebuilding your emergency fund first.

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• Then restart your paused SIPs.

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• Set small financial goals like clearing any dues or saving for 1 month’s expenses.

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• Slowly get back to normal pace without rushing.

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Emotionally Stay Stable and Rest When Needed

• This is a tough phase but it will pass.

?

• Take help from friends, counsellors or support groups if stress gets heavy.

?

• Take care of your health, sleep, and food. You need energy now.

?

• Talk to your child simply and gently. Kids understand more than we think.

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Finally

You’re already doing the right thing – asking for help and planning ahead.

?

This phase will test your strength but also show your courage.

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Use the emergency fund wisely. Cut extra expenses.

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Pause investments, keep job search active, and stay calm.

?

Even small income during this time will help manage better.

?

Once the job returns, you can rebuild everything with more clarity.

?

You are not alone. Take support wherever you find it.

?

Your family is lucky to have you managing so carefully and wisely.

?

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8227 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2025Hindi
Money
I plan to buy a property in the next 3 years, either for personal use or investment. I currently save 20,000 per month and have RS 5,00,000 saved up for the down payment and related costs (registration, taxes, interiors, etc.). Given the current market conditions, should I keep my savings in low-risk options like a high-interest savings account or fixed deposits, or should I invest in mutual funds or debt funds for higher returns? How should I balance safety and growth? Also, how much should I budget for the additional costs involved in buying property? With other financial responsibilities (like a home loan EMI of Rs 30,000 and child education expenses), how can I prioritize saving for this property while managing everything else? Lastly, should I plan for future property-related expenses like maintenance once I buy the property?
Ans: Your clarity of thought and saving habit of Rs 20,000 per month is a big strength. You already saved Rs 5,00,000 for the down payment, which is a good head start. Let’s now create a clear and simple 360-degree plan to help you buy the property while handling all other financial priorities.

Let us now understand where to park your savings, how to budget for additional costs, how to balance EMI and education, and how to plan for future property expenses.

Below is a detailed, structured, and simplified guide.

Saving for Down Payment: Safety Is Key

You plan to buy the property in 3 years. This makes your goal short-term.

So, your priority must be safety. Not return.

Return is secondary for short-term goals. Capital protection is more important.

That’s why equity mutual funds are not suitable here. They are risky in the short term.

Even debt funds are not fully safe if you are not choosing the right type.

Below are suitable options:

Keep your Rs 5,00,000 in a high-interest savings account. Choose an account from a safe and reputed private or PSU bank.

Fixed deposit with a 2–3-year horizon is also good. Prefer banks over NBFCs.

You may use a low-duration debt mutual fund or short-term debt fund. Only if you are ok with small fluctuations.

Avoid aggressive hybrid, equity savings funds or arbitrage funds. These are not ideal for 3-year goals.

Don’t invest in index funds or ETFs for short-term goals. They don’t give downside protection.

If you use debt mutual funds, understand the new tax rule. Gains will be taxed as per your income slab.

A combination of FD and short-term debt fund can give better liquidity.

If you prefer mutual funds, go for regular plans through a MFD with CFP credential. They can help you monitor the risk better.

Budgeting for Property: Include All Costs

Most buyers only plan for down payment. But that is only one part.

There are many hidden or semi-visible expenses. Please plan for them now.

Let us see what they are:

Stamp duty and registration charges. This can be 7% to 10% of property cost.

Interiors and furniture. Even basic furnishing can cost 10% of property price.

Brokerage and lawyer fees. If applicable, can go up to 1% or more.

Advance society maintenance and deposits. Usually required for new apartments.

GST on under-construction property. This is 5% without input credit.

Home insurance. One-time premium if you want to cover structure damage.

Parking space charges and clubhouse deposit. Often missed in budgeting.

Shifting and set-up costs. For appliances, curtains, installation, etc.

So please add 15% to 20% of property value as “extra costs”. Keep this buffer aside.

Your current Rs 5,00,000 may not be enough for all these. But you still have 36 months.

So, saving Rs 20,000 monthly with this goal in mind is a smart step.

Also, don’t use mutual fund SIPs for these costs. It can fluctuate when you need it.

Balancing EMI and Education While Saving for Property

Right now, you have an EMI of Rs 30,000 and child education expenses.

You also save Rs 20,000 monthly. Let’s now look at how to balance all three.

Don’t stop your Rs 20,000 saving. This is the key to meeting your 3-year goal.

You may increase your savings by Rs 5,000 to Rs 10,000, if income grows.

Use a separate bank account for this property goal. So you don’t mix other needs.

Try to prepay EMI partly once or twice a year. It reduces long-term interest burden.

If you expect large expenses for your child (school fee, coaching), plan those in advance.

Avoid taking another loan for interiors or registration. That can stretch your EMI limit.

Keep at least 3–4 months EMI as emergency reserve. Don’t touch this fund.

If possible, keep your child’s education funding in a different SIP. Don’t mix with this.

Don’t redeem long-term investments like equity mutual funds for this property. It affects future goals.

Plan for Future Property Expenses

Once you buy the house, expenses don’t stop there. Many people forget this.

These costs can affect your budget if not planned early.

Society maintenance charges. Can be Rs 2,000 to Rs 8,000 monthly depending on size and location.

Annual property tax to municipality. Must be paid every year.

Repairs and painting. Especially after 3–5 years of possession.

Appliances breakdown or upgrade. Geysers, AC, filters, etc.

Rent loss if you are not using it and it remains vacant.

Loan insurance premium if you take credit life insurance.

You may also pay for security deposit if giving on rent.

These are all recurring. So your cash flow must be ready for them.

Try to start a small SIP of Rs 2,000 to Rs 3,000 for these future expenses.

Choose a low-risk hybrid or ultra-short fund. Withdraw only when needed.

Also, keep an annual reminder to review these expenses.

How to Prioritise This Goal Among Many

When you have multiple responsibilities, planning becomes more important.

The key is to assign a specific goal to each fund.

Let us prioritise together:

Continue Rs 20,000 monthly savings only for property down payment.

Do not use emergency funds for property.

Maintain 6 months of expenses in a separate liquid fund or savings account.

Keep child education in a separate SIP or PPF. Don’t mix it with home savings.

Do not stop EMI payment or delay it. Your credit score may suffer.

Avoid loans for furniture and interiors. Save slowly and spend only what you saved.

Keep your insurance premiums paid on time. Don’t miss them.

Use bonuses or gifts to increase savings for the property goal.

Try to control lifestyle inflation during this 3-year period. It helps a lot.

What Happens If Property Price Goes Up?

There is a chance prices may rise in 3 years.

You must be prepared in two ways.

Increase monthly savings gradually every year. Even Rs 2,000 more can help.

If prices rise sharply, consider a smaller house. Don’t stretch your loan too much.

Do not compromise on education and long-term goals for a house.

Stay disciplined. Don’t rush just because prices rise. Focus on value, not fear.

Should You Buy for Investment or Use?

You are unsure if it will be for personal use or investment.

Let us clarify this point as it changes planning:

If for personal use, prioritise location, safety, commute, and nearby schools.

If for investment, do a rental yield check. Don’t expect high appreciation.

Real estate investment has hidden costs, poor liquidity, and irregular returns.

If not planning to live there for 7+ years, rethink buying. Renting may be cheaper.

Don’t buy just because others are buying. Make the decision fully based on utility.

Your priority must be comfort, not return, if it’s for staying.

Also remember property can’t be sold quickly if needed. So, plan cash needs carefully.

Don’t over-borrow. Loan EMI + child education must not cross 50% of your income.

Finally

You are thinking ahead. That is already a strong foundation.

Your saving habit, EMI discipline, and clear goal are all positive points.

By keeping your Rs 5,00,000 in low-risk instruments, and adding Rs 20,000 monthly, you are on track.

Please avoid risky products for this goal.

Also, budget for all visible and hidden property costs.

Balance EMI, education and savings with simple, consistent steps.

Keep property-related expenses and long-term goals separate.

Review your plan every 6 months.

A Certified Financial Planner can help you align all your goals peacefully.

Stay patient, stay focused, and protect your peace of mind.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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