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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Lakshmi Question by Lakshmi on Apr 08, 2023Hindi
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I actually like someone..... but the guy,he is like sometime he cares alot about me but sometimes make fun of me......but not infront of orhers.....i like him so much that i always want to talk to him i try to find reason to speak or chat with him

Ans: Dear Lakshmi,
The easiest thing to do is to express yourself to him.
What will happen? Either he will say that he also likes you or he doesn't! But no point playing guessing games in your head; it too straining. If you feel awkward in doing this, seek the help of a mutual friend who will play the role of a messenger. Whatever the outcome, be prepared for it BUT do express this feeling. Now, why he makes fun of you is something I don't know; maybe he feels comfortable enough to be himself with you OR he deviates his feelings for you into humour.

Best wishes!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 24, 2023

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Relationship
I love someone (one side love)...one day i want to communicate with him i start chating with him..but some days i came to know that he has bad habits like drinking smoking..so i want to stop talking with him and want to leave my love..but he was messaged me..i replied to his messages..but now i want to talk with but he ignoring me..he reading my messages but not replying..i want to forgot him but i cant he is ignoring me what can i do
Ans: Dear Pspk,

Smoking and drinking are bad habits, but if they aren't highly addicted to them, breaking up might have been a bit extreme. But I understand that it might have been unacceptable for you at the moment.

Coming to the present issue in hand, if he is ignoring your texts, there is a chance that he has moved on, or maybe he is still angry with your decision. Give it some time; if he still does not contact you on his own or replies to your message, it might be time to accept the reality- he doesn't want to patch up. Like you decided to leave when you did not like his habits, and he respected it, you have to respect his choice to remain separated. Not all relationships are meant to work.

Focus on yourself; hang out with your friends; talk to people close to you. And most importantly, give it some time. One more small tip, if you happen to get back together, please discuss his smoking and drinking habits and how the two of you will deal with them. Neither of you should have to settle for the other. Find a middle ground.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 28, 2024

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Relationship
Hey mam I am just 23 I have a boyfriend and my family accepted him but I can't understand his behaviour sometimes he behaving like a no one can love me like him he supported me always by financial he is a soft heart person but ???? sometimes when he is in angry he can't understand anything sometimes I abused by him and behaving like I am nothing for him he shouted among people he can't think what I can feel what is this ma'am ????what can I do
Ans: Dear Priya,
It seems you're experiencing a relationship with mixed behaviors from your boyfriend. On one hand, he supports you financially and shows affection, but on the other, he becomes verbally abusive and dismissive when angry. This duality can be confusing and emotionally draining.

It's important to recognize that his abusive behavior, even if it's only during moments of anger, is a significant issue. Such behavior can erode your self-esteem and sense of safety over time. Abuse isn't just physical; verbal and emotional abuse can be just as damaging.

When someone shouts at you or dismisses your feelings, especially in public, it indicates a lack of respect and self-control. This kind of behavior is unacceptable and should not be excused or normalized, regardless of the moments of kindness and support he shows.

Consider discussing your concerns with him during a calm moment, emphasizing how his behavior affects you. If he's willing to listen and seek help, such as anger management or couples counseling, there might be a way to address these issues. However, if he dismisses your concerns or refuses to change, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship for your own well-being.

You deserve to be in a relationship where you're consistently treated with respect and love. Seeking support from friends, family, or a professional counselor can also help you navigate this situation and make the best decision for your future.

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9785 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 19, 2025Hindi
Money
Am 32 years old with salary of 1 lakh per month and monthly expenses of around 60-70k as am single earning member of my family of 5, recently married, no kids and all my savings have been depleted in marriage and I don't have any savings or investment. I only have one term insurance of 1 crore and medical coverage for myself of 10 lakh and PF of around 1lakh. I would like to start savings & investment journey to retire by 50 but I also have to buy a house(cost around 40 lakh) in next 10 years & car in next 4 years. Please guide me what should be my savings and investment strategy
Ans: You are 32 years old. You have just started your married life.
You have no savings currently but have a steady income. You are also supporting your family.
You want to buy a car in 4 years, a house in 10 years, and retire by 50.
These are clear and realistic goals. Starting now with the right plan is very important.

Let’s look at your profile in a 360-degree view and build a complete strategy for your savings and investments.

? Family and Financial Responsibilities

– You are newly married and supporting a family of 5.
– You are the only earning member at present.
– You have no kids now, but this may change in a few years.

Right now, your family depends fully on your income. So, stability and discipline are very important.

? Income and Expense Overview

– You earn Rs. 1 lakh per month.
– Monthly expenses are Rs. 60K–70K.

This leaves you with Rs. 30K–40K surplus per month.
This is a strong base to begin your financial journey.

It is very important to save at least Rs. 25K from this every month.

? Current Assets and Insurance Cover

– Term insurance of Rs. 1 Cr is active.
– You have health cover of Rs. 10L for yourself.
– EPF balance is around Rs. 1L.
– No other savings or assets currently.

You have taken the first correct steps by starting term and health cover.
Make sure health cover includes family members as they are dependent on you.
As you grow older, adding family floater will be a wise move.

? Emergency Fund Is Your Next Priority

– You don’t have any emergency fund now.
– This is your first and most urgent step.

Start building a minimum of Rs. 1.5L–2L over the next 6 months.
This should be parked in a safe liquid or ultra-short debt fund.
Do not invest this in equity. Keep it easily accessible.

This is your buffer for job loss, hospital expenses, or urgent needs.

? Set Your Financial Goals Clearly

You have shared three goals. Let's plan them in detail:

– Car purchase (Rs. 8–10L in 4 years)
– House purchase (Rs. 40L in 10 years)
– Retirement (at age 50, in next 18 years)

All these goals have different timelines. So, different strategies are needed.

? Goal 1: Car Purchase in 4 Years

– Budget is around Rs. 8–10L.
– Don’t take a car loan. Start saving monthly instead.

Invest Rs. 10K–12K/month in ultra-short or short-term debt funds.
These are safer for short-term goals. They give better returns than FDs.

Avoid equity mutual funds for this goal. You don’t have enough time to recover losses if the market falls.

When goal is 12 months away, move all funds to liquid fund.

Car is a depreciating asset. So, buy within your means. Avoid emotional spending here.

? Goal 2: House Purchase in 10 Years

– Estimated cost: Rs. 40L.
– You may need Rs. 8L–10L as down payment.

For this goal, equity mutual funds can be used in the beginning.
But slowly reduce risk as you approach the goal year.

Invest Rs. 10K–12K/month into actively managed mutual funds.
Avoid index funds. They are average performers and don’t protect you during market falls.

Actively managed funds, when reviewed regularly, give better outcomes.
Start with a mix of large-cap and flexi-cap mutual funds.

Do not choose direct plans without advisor help.
– Direct plans have no guidance, no reviews, and lead to poor fund choice.
– Regular plans with MFDs who are CFPs provide goal-based planning and corrections.

When you are 3 years away from the house goal, shift from equity to debt funds.
This protects you from market risk. Don’t let a market crash affect your house plan.

? Goal 3: Retirement by Age 50

– You have 18 years to build retirement wealth.
– Since you have no savings now, this needs focus.

Start with Rs. 8K–10K/month into actively managed mutual funds.
You can increase this as your income grows.

Choose a mix of large-cap, flexi-cap, and balanced advantage funds.
Don't invest all in aggressive funds. Balance is key.

EPF and retirement corpus must grow side by side.
Don’t withdraw EPF early. Let it compound.

Also, consider opening NPS to get tax benefit and build retirement asset.
Limit NPS to 10–15% of total retirement plan. Too much NPS can reduce post-retirement liquidity.

Do not depend on real estate for retirement. It is illiquid.
Also, rental income is uncertain and property sales take time.

Keep equity mutual funds as your main retirement engine.

Review the plan every 2 years with a Certified Financial Planner.

? Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) Allocation

With Rs. 30K–35K surplus, you can follow this SIP plan:

– Rs. 10K/month → Car purchase (in debt funds)
– Rs. 12K/month → House down payment (in equity funds)
– Rs. 10K/month → Retirement goal (in diversified mutual funds)
– Rs. 2K–3K/month → Emergency fund (in liquid fund)

As your income increases, raise SIPs each year by 10–15%.

Stick to this discipline for the next 5 years and your financial position will be strong.

? Don’t Take Investment Advice from Banks or Unqualified Sources

Avoid random product selling by banks.
They push what earns them the most, not what suits you.

Avoid endowment, ULIP, or investment-insurance policies.
These give poor returns, long lock-ins, and very little flexibility.

Also, avoid annuities in future. They give fixed income, but poor inflation adjustment.

You need flexible, growing income after retirement. Mutual funds offer that.

? Avoid Index Funds and Direct Plans

Index funds look cheap but come with big disadvantages:
– No downside protection during market crash
– Poor performance during sideways markets
– Cannot outperform benchmarks
– Passive strategy may not meet your goal timelines

Direct mutual funds are low-cost, but come with high risk for new investors:
– No guidance
– No goal tracking
– High chances of wrong fund selection
– No portfolio review or corrections

Regular funds via a Mutual Fund Distributor with CFP help offer better goal-based investing.
The advisory support helps you avoid mistakes and stay on course.

? Tax and Investment Planning

Use EPF and NPS for tax savings under Section 80C and 80CCD(1B).
Start SIPs in ELSS only if you haven’t reached the 80C limit.

Plan MF redemptions smartly to avoid capital gains tax.
As per new rules:

– LTCG above Rs. 1.25L/year on equity MFs is taxed at 12.5%
– STCG is taxed at 20%
– Debt fund gains are taxed as per your slab

So always avoid churning funds without need. Review redemptions carefully.

? Next 6 Months Plan of Action

– Build Rs. 2L emergency fund in liquid funds
– Start SIP of Rs. 10K/month in debt funds for car goal
– Start Rs. 12K/month SIP in equity funds for house goal
– Start Rs. 10K/month SIP for retirement
– Avoid new liabilities or emotional spends

Track each SIP goal separately. Don’t mix funds.
Label your folios for clear tracking (car, house, retirement, etc.)

? Final Insights

You are starting at zero. But you have time on your side.
A disciplined start today will build a safe future.

Start slow, but stay consistent. Avoid reacting to short-term events.

Invest with a Certified Financial Planner who offers regular tracking.
You will avoid mistakes and reach your financial goals in time.

Your future is in your hands. Plan it with patience and proper direction.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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