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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |605 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 24, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Pspk Question by Pspk on Apr 12, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I love someone (one side love)...one day i want to communicate with him i start chating with him..but some days i came to know that he has bad habits like drinking smoking..so i want to stop talking with him and want to leave my love..but he was messaged me..i replied to his messages..but now i want to talk with but he ignoring me..he reading my messages but not replying..i want to forgot him but i cant he is ignoring me what can i do

Ans: Dear Pspk,

Smoking and drinking are bad habits, but if they aren't highly addicted to them, breaking up might have been a bit extreme. But I understand that it might have been unacceptable for you at the moment.

Coming to the present issue in hand, if he is ignoring your texts, there is a chance that he has moved on, or maybe he is still angry with your decision. Give it some time; if he still does not contact you on his own or replies to your message, it might be time to accept the reality- he doesn't want to patch up. Like you decided to leave when you did not like his habits, and he respected it, you have to respect his choice to remain separated. Not all relationships are meant to work.

Focus on yourself; hang out with your friends; talk to people close to you. And most importantly, give it some time. One more small tip, if you happen to get back together, please discuss his smoking and drinking habits and how the two of you will deal with them. Neither of you should have to settle for the other. Find a middle ground.

Best Wishes!

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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 27, 2023Hindi
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Hi I am working in an compnay since 4 yrs i had and friendship with my senior and he ia married but staying alone. His family was at native place. We both r maaried and we know about we had family but now we are in relationships since 3 years. As his family was not here i helped him in every manner in covid situtation. We know pur priority is family first. But since his family is here from one year last. He has stopped chatting talking to me. Only we are mostly having one side fight. He is now feeling irritation in talking to me normally also. During my job i m doing better than also everytime he feels irritated. I dont know what to do. Now he is saying he dont have time. He dont want to leave me. But stopped everything's. Only when he needs help he speaks to me or replies to message. I dont want to leave my job nor complaint to someone. What shoul i do dont understand. I have ensured him that i dont want him also to leave his family. Nor i want to leavemy family. I m confused what to do. I have done everything for him and now he has forgot evething. He says he love me he dont want to leave me. But at this situtation what should i do.
Ans: Hello Ms.
It's important to approach this with sensitivity and consideration for everyone involved. Understand that his family is a significant part of his life, and he may need time to adjust to the changes. Respect his commitments and responsibilities towards his family. Think about the long-term implications of the relationship. Consider whether it's sustainable in the current circumstances and whether it aligns with your personal values and priorities. Take some time to reflect on your own feelings and the dynamics of your relationship. Consider whether this situation is bringing you happiness and fulfillment, or if it's causing you distress. Establish clear boundaries in your relationship to ensure that both of you are comfortable and that these boundaries are respected. If he is feeling overwhelmed or stressed with the recent changes in his family situation, it might be helpful to give him some space. Encourage open communication make sure you both are on the same page about the nature of your relationship and the level of communication you both desire.Be prepared for the possibility that the relationship may need to change or come to an end. Reflect on your own priorities and boundaries. Ensure that your relationship doesn't negatively impact your personal and professional life. It's essential to maintain a healthy balance and focus on your own well-being. While this can be difficult, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and the well-being of everyone involved.

..Read more

Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I am Afrin . I met this guy 3 years back through a dating app . We used to talk on weekends initially for few months . Then I started falling for him and I told him about it and that i would only like to continue if there is a future as we we can get married, he said he is Hindu and I am Muslim so it won't be possible for him so I strictly asked him not to contact me again as we want different things , after that we didn't talk for 4 months , and 4 months he called me again . I picked up , talked for two three weeks only on weekends and the same question i again asked he again said it won't be possible and I again told him not to contact me and he again stopped calling or texting me . After 6 months of this ,he again called ,I picked up. This time he said , he is moving to foreign country so it might be possible for him to marry . I believed , we kept talking now 3,4 days a week . We both were happy ,and enjoyed talking to each other , then finally after 2 years , he came to meet me from a different state . We met, i brought some of my friends with me . We spent 5 days , bt after 3 days ,I saw him behaving rudely .. I tried talking to him and I got to know that , since I was talking to my friends in our language , he misunderstood us thinking we were may be making fun of them . On 4th day , when my friends left , I went to his room and saw him using dating app .. I asked him to show me his phone he didnt show me and we had a heated argument. And he left me alone in that room , and the next day he had his flight .. i saw, he blocked me the day he left me in that room . I tried contacting him for the first in this two years but he blocked me every where . So , this way for 6 months I was blocked , after him unblocking me ,he neither called me not texted me , and I also didn't try to contact him . After after 1 year of him leaving me in that room, he called few days back , I picked up , and the way he was talking i dint like it as I could sense he was expecting the things from me which are against my values . And by now ,I lost feelings for him . So the first day I could say anything, the next day i told him clearly that i don't have feelings for him anymore , so if he is expecting something else from me he won't get it . If he wants to remain as friends he can ,rest I don't want to be in a relationship with him anymore . And after two days he again blocked me . What should I do if he again calls me ? Should I just block him now ? Or should I talk to him normally?
Ans: Don't pick up. Move on. Don't talk to him. Start meeting other guys

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |605 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 27, 2025Hindi
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I talked with a boy from November for marriage his parents came to my home then we started talking with each other every thing was going well we shared our thoughts values...then each passing day I get attracted towards him one day after 1 and a half month I found his changes in behaviour then I asked him he told he was same then one day he told me he is getting bored as I always talk about relationship he don't get anything friendly from mee..i asked him what is romance to him he told me philosophical thoughts discuss I was confused then ..days are passing then he send me some links of America's and has a debate ..with me always ..one day there was a misunderstanding and i told him what did he want he told me he don't get any friendly things from me and it will not work after 4 months i got very disturbed ...why did he do this to me he knows from the 1st how type of girl am I then why did he carried it 4 months. .after I got attracted towards him...it was very disturbed for me
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am really sorry that this happened to you, but think about it this way- this happened now, but this could have happened after getting married. I know that it shouldn't have happened to begin with, but since it has already, it's better to look at it from a positive perspective. Why it happened is difficult to say. It is possible that he didn't really know the real you and was expecting you to be someone you are not. And once he realized the truth, he thought ending it now would be better for both of you. I am not sure why he did what he did, but I can tell you that there is no point in thinking about the "why" of the matter. Focus on moving on. I know you were getting attached but it's time to look forward and build a better future. Take some time off this matchmaking thing, and focus on yourself. And once you think you are ready, get back to it with a fresh and positive mind. I want you to understand that not everyone would turn out to be like him.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9198 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, I am a 40 year old woman. I am a mother of 2 daughters. I have a montly income of 70,000. I have invested in parag parikh flexi cap :: 7k, aditya birla sunlife digital india fund::2k, quant small cap:: 1k. I also invest montly 1k into SSS and 1k into PPF. Household expenses take upto 10k per month and try saving monthly 5k as cash for emergency fund which i have just started and approx 4lakhs towards kids education. I want to invest in good gold ETF scheme. Kindly chk my investment portfolio and suggest changes on the existing fud and any better funds to go for. My family of 4 is currently dependent on my income.
Ans: You are doing a great job managing your responsibilities as a mother and sole earner. Taking care of your family, while also investing for the future, is truly admirable. Let us now assess your overall financial situation from a 360-degree perspective.

Income and Expense Review

Your monthly income is Rs. 70,000.

Household expenses are limited to Rs. 10,000. That is very good control.

You are saving Rs. 5,000 monthly in cash for emergencies. This is a positive start.

You have Rs. 4 lakhs earmarked for children’s education. Very thoughtful planning.

Total committed monthly investments are Rs. 12,000.

You have struck a fair balance between expenses and savings.

Let us evaluate your investments and suggest improvements.

Review of Current Mutual Fund Investments

You are investing in 3 mutual fund schemes:

A flexi-cap fund (Rs. 7,000)

A sectoral tech fund (Rs. 2,000)

A small-cap fund (Rs. 1,000)

Here is the assessment:

1. Flexi Cap Fund (Rs. 7,000)

This category gives fund manager freedom to invest across large, mid and small caps.

You have chosen a well-diversified fund type. This is suitable for medium to long term.

Continue with this fund. Keep monitoring annually for performance.

2. Sectoral Tech Fund (Rs. 2,000)

Sector funds are high-risk. They lack diversification.

They perform only in specific market cycles. Not suitable for long-term goals alone.

Suggest you stop SIP here gradually. Shift this amount to diversified equity fund.

3. Small Cap Fund (Rs. 1,000)

Small caps can give high returns but with high volatility.

It is good you have kept the exposure small.

Retain it if your risk appetite allows. Avoid increasing it further.

Retirement and Long-Term Security Planning

As the sole breadwinner, your financial safety is very important.
You are 40 now. Planning for retirement should be given high priority.

Suggestions:

Start a separate SIP for retirement purpose.

Choose a diversified multi-cap or large-cap biased fund.

Invest at least Rs. 3,000 monthly if possible.

This can grow into a strong retirement base over 15-20 years.

Do not depend on EPF or PPF alone.

Children’s Education Fund Planning

You have already saved Rs. 4 lakhs. That is a good start.
But children’s education needs can be higher in future.

Suggestions:

Continue SIP in a good diversified equity mutual fund.

Allocate Rs. 3,000 monthly just for this goal.

Stick to funds that focus on large and mid-cap segments.

Avoid thematic or sector funds for this purpose.

Review portfolio annually to switch if performance drops.

Emergency Fund Planning

You have just started building this. That is great.

Suggestions:

Target 6 to 12 months of expenses as emergency fund.

Since your expenses are Rs. 10,000, aim for Rs. 60,000 to Rs. 1.2 lakhs first.

Store in liquid mutual fund or bank RD or savings account.

Avoid using this fund unless true emergency arises.

Gold Investment Strategy

You asked about gold ETF investments.

Let’s understand the points first.

Disadvantages of Index Funds and ETFs:

ETFs and index funds are passively managed.

They just copy an index or a commodity. No fund manager decisions.

No flexibility to exit underperforming stocks.

These funds underperform in sideways or bear markets.

Gold ETFs have no income generation ability.

They carry expense ratios but no compounding benefits like equity funds.

Gold prices stay flat for years sometimes.

Better Alternative – Actively Managed Gold Mutual Funds:

Choose gold mutual funds with active management.

SIP route reduces gold volatility risk.

You can invest Rs. 1,000 monthly for asset allocation purpose.

Limit gold investment to 5-10% of total portfolio.

Use gold as a hedge, not wealth creation.

SSS and PPF Contribution Review

You are investing Rs. 1,000 monthly in each.

These are safe and government-backed. Good for capital protection.

But returns are lower than equity mutual funds.

Consider this portion more for safety than wealth growth.

Continue if you want low-risk component in your plan.

Do not increase these amounts unless tax benefit is needed.

Cash Flow and Budgeting Evaluation

Monthly investments: Rs. 12,000 (Mutual funds + PPF + SSS)

Monthly saving in cash: Rs. 5,000

Monthly fixed expense: Rs. 10,000

That leaves you with nearly Rs. 43,000 monthly for flexible use.
If possible, increase mutual fund SIPs by Rs. 2,000-3,000 every 6 months.
This will build long-term wealth faster.

Insurance and Risk Coverage (Assuming You Have None)

As you did not mention life or health insurance, this needs urgent attention.

Life Insurance:

You are the only earning member.

Buy a term plan of at least Rs. 50 lakhs to Rs. 1 crore.

This will protect your family if anything happens to you.

Only choose pure term insurance. No investment-linked policy.

Health Insurance:

Cover the entire family under one floater policy.

Go for Rs. 10 lakh coverage at minimum.

Avoid relying only on employer health cover (if any).

Accident Cover:

Low premium personal accident policy is also helpful.

Helps in case of temporary or permanent disability.

Tax Saving Suggestions

PPF and SSS qualify under 80C.

Life insurance premiums also help.

Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) offer better returns and tax benefits.

You can allocate Rs. 1,000 to Rs. 2,000 per month to ELSS.

Keep it locked for 3 years and review after that.

Discipline and Investment Strategy Tips

Stick to SIPs even when market is down.

Do not stop or switch funds too frequently.

Rebalance your portfolio once a year.

Increase SIPs gradually with income rise.

Keep asset mix – equity, debt, gold – in balance.

Always keep investment and insurance separate.

Avoid Direct Mutual Funds Route

Many people invest in direct mutual funds.
But this is risky without expert guidance.

Why Avoid Direct Funds:

You lose the support of a Certified Financial Planner.

No one tracks performance for you.

No help for rebalancing or goal tracking.

A regular plan through a Certified Financial Planner gives full service.

It helps you make decisions without emotional errors.

Finally

You are already doing better than many people with your planning.

Continue with your flexi-cap and small-cap funds.

Stop the sectoral tech fund and switch to a diversified equity fund.

Avoid gold ETFs. Choose an actively managed gold mutual fund instead.

Start a SIP for retirement and children's higher education.

Protect your family with term and health insurance urgently.

Slowly build your emergency fund to reach Rs. 1 lakh minimum.

Increase SIPs every year as your income rises.

Don’t mix insurance and investment.

Work with a Certified Financial Planner to review annually.

You are on the right path. Just a few small corrections will give you big results over time.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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