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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1792 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Juris Question by Juris on Apr 11, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I'm poor communicator and don't know how to maintain relationships so I like this guy and I don't know if he like me bcse we don't talk but on my bday he sent me a song for me by my friends request and we messaged that's first time talking...and then we never talked he ignored and I also did being an introvert now we don't follow each other but there's always a tension

Ans: Dear Juris,
Be YOU but if being YOU is being rigid and not allowing you to socialize the way that leads to making bigger connections, then do something about it:)
Hobby classes, meet up groups for like minded individuals, gyms, writing clubs...are great places to meet new people and socialize. Initially you can piggy back with your friends till you slowly become your own chaperone.
So, go out there and while still being YOU, also know that's there's so much to life and the joy that people can bring into your life as much as you can in their lives:) Explore slowly but surely...
As for this guy, he's young and playing the social media scene his way at his level of maturity. Off and On connections, ghosting, constant texting...all these are part of these platforms...you will get used to it as unwanted as it may seem. You will learn to safeguard your sanity while you are on these platforms.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1792 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 10, 2023

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Relationship
Hi Anu; I had an altercation with a friend which was followed by him apologising about the same. The next day he stopped all communications completely. However when we met a month later he was absolutely sweet as if nothing had happened. At the same time he didn't keep much contact at all. He is very nice and courteous on watsapp and at other times when ee meet in person looks through me as if I dont exists at all. On phone whenever we have spoken with each other; he is absolutely charming. It is obvious that he doesnt want to be in touch. Let me add that there is no romance involved. Why do people behave the way they do? Hot one moment and cold the next? Its obvious he cannot stand me; but I wish he would stop playing games and be his normal self at all times. Keeping watsapp conversations charming but not interacting face to face is pretty confusing for me since I am straightforward person. Can you give your opinion regarding the same? Frankly speaking I feel he is a drama king and thrives on it. And honestly I dont really want to keep in touch but sometimes we do meet because of common friends. Just thought of asking you about this. Do some people always like to play mind games? Take care!
Ans: Dear Rajani,
Firstly let me put all your thoughts (assumptions) in one place. Assumptions are statements based on perceptions and not facts which sour connections and breaks relationships.
These have been picked from your question to me.
1. It is obvious that he doesn't want to be in touch
2. I wish he would stop playing games
3. I feel he is a drama king and thrives on it

This is your reading of the situations based on the way you have understood it. How much of this is true? Could it be your version of the truth?
Also, you have stated that you don't want to keep in touch; then why are you?
And if you really didn't want to, why is his playing games bothering you?
My suggestions:
1. Be clear if you want an association with him. If Yes, please clear out the air, so that there is no room for assumptions anymore.
2. Do understand that sometimes people are on eggshells after an altercation; he possibly is also carrying a lot of assumptions about you in his mind and that's why he's hot and cold alternatively.
3. Give the benefit of doubt to people; they might be going through something that you makes them behave in an odd way.
3. Drama King or not, there's a lot of unsaid discomfort between the two of you; do get into a non-judgemental space so even if the two of you don't patch up, it can be an amicable goodbye.

Steer away from assumptions and it makes room for either rebuilding a relationship or part ways on a good note.

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |720 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Currently , I am in 2nd year of my clg , btech CCE in MUJ .... Studies are fine. After my breakup with my first bf( 3 years back) it really shook me of as I got to know he cheated on me and I wasted my precious time thinking about him though I have overcame from this .... So I met this guy online .... We are from same clg but diff department... Class are on the same floor so we met a few times but that was also an eye contact or simple hi hello .... We started talking from 2nd sem .... And in 2nd-3rd sem it felt like he liked me but I wasn't ready. And he never brought this topic it was simply friendly banter or thoda bahut flirting and now from the starting of 4th sem things have changed like in his behaviour, way he used to talk, holding the convos ..it's like he's cutting me.... though I talked about this and he cleared like it's nothing like that but yeah many things are changed .... We dont talk like we used to , he seems non interested, late replies ... And here as soon as I started liking him he got off ... I even gave him slight hints but now it feels like I am desperate to talk it is making me feel clingy distracted that I can't just stop thinking about it ... It's becoming a hindrance in my studies . .. I feel like whenever I start to like someone that other person gets off like he's not interested it has happened a many of times .. it makes me feels o dumb and stupid like do I even have something that the other person would like me or even just stop being non interested or giving mixed signals
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how you are feeling and it is very normal to question yourself when you notice the pattern more than one time. But trust me, it is not you. Sometimes people have fleeting feelings for each other. It can also be that since the guy did not feel you reciprocate the same feeling, he moved on to protect his heart. Or some people with casual feelings just lose interest as soon as the chase is over. The reason does not matter; what matters here is that it's not your fault. This clingy, distracted feeling will pass soon. This is not love; you just miss feeling important to someone and it's completely normal. Don't think of this as a loss. He was never the right person for you to begin with if he wants to cut you off suddenly. You deserve to be loved completely, not just when it's convenient for them.

Hope this helps.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11138 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Money
I'm an investor in India, 30% tax bracket under the new tax regime, with high risk tolerance. I am investing from 2017, invested amount is 22 lakhs, market value 25 lakhs. I have two financial goals — child's education (~7-year horizon) and retirement (~18-year horizon). Current SIP Portfolio I run a 5-fund core portfolio with a total SIP of ₹53,000/month. For the education goal, I have HDFC Nifty 50 Index Fund (₹5,000/month) and Parag Parikh Flexi Cap (₹15,000/month). For retirement, I have ICICI Nifty Next 50 Index (₹8,000/month), Motilal Oswal Midcap (₹15,000/month), and Nippon India Small Cap (₹10,000/month). Each fund is from a different AMC, which is a deliberate diversification choice. Other Investments I have a PPF account (opened 2015, ~₹10L corpus) maturing around 2030. I also hold NPS Tier 1 corpus which I plan to keep untouched until age 60 — I've stopped fresh NPS contributions since there's no additional deduction benefit under the new tax regime. What I'm Looking for advice on Is my current portfolio good for the long term and shall I continue the same Shall I take international exposure through navi nasdaq 100 FOF (Not taking due to tax complication) Shall I invest in gold for hedge Shall I stop my NPS Tier 1 SIP and reallocate 7k to my current portfolio, if yes then which funds I have two specific worries. First, Motilal Oswal Midcap had a fund manager change in July 2025 and runs a fairly concentrated portfolio at an elevated PE — I'm not sure if I should continue, reduce the SIP, or switch to another midcap fund. Second, Nippon India Small Cap has been closed for lumpsum investments since July 2023 due to its large AUM — I've been considering switching to Invesco India Small Cap (ranked #2/18 in the category, AUM ~₹9,700 Cr) but haven't acted on it yet. I'd like views on whether this switch makes sense and whether the timing matters or shall I continue in the same funds and folio. Would like the community's take on the above folio. Thanks.
Ans: You have built a thoughtful and disciplined portfolio since 2017. Managing two separate long-term goals with category allocation and SIP consistency shows strong planning maturity. Your SIP size, time horizon clarity, and asset diversification already place you ahead of many investors.

Let us review each part of your portfolio carefully and improve where required.

» Overall portfolio structure suitability for your two goals

Your goals:

– Child education (7-year horizon)
– Retirement (18-year horizon)

Your current structure separates these goals logically. This is a very good practice.

However one improvement is required.

Index category exposure is currently forming a meaningful portion of your education goal allocation. For a 7-year horizon, actively managed equity allocation generally works better than passive exposure because:

– index funds only mirror market returns
– they cannot reduce downside risk
– they cannot shift sectors when valuations are high
– they cannot select emerging growth companies early
– they cannot generate alpha during active market cycles

For a goal that is only 7 years away, downside protection and active allocation flexibility are important.

So replacing index category exposure gradually with flexi cap or large & midcap category exposure improves goal reliability.

» Suitability of your retirement portfolio allocation

Your retirement horizon is 18 years. This is ideal for:

– midcap category exposure
– small cap category exposure
– flexi cap category exposure

Your allocation toward growth categories supports wealth creation strongly.

So the structure for retirement is appropriate and can be continued with small refinements.

» Whether international exposure should be added

International diversification is useful but not mandatory.

Benefits:

– reduces India-only market risk
– provides exposure to global innovation sectors
– improves currency diversification

However concerns like taxation complexity and portfolio simplicity are valid.

Since your horizon is already supported by strong domestic diversification across market caps, international exposure may be added later gradually but is not essential immediately.

Priority should remain strengthening domestic active allocation first.

» Whether gold allocation should be added

Gold works as a stabiliser, not a return generator.

Gold helps:

– during equity corrections
– during inflation phases
– during global uncertainty periods

For long-term investors like you, allocation of 5% to 10% is sufficient.

It should not replace equity allocation but support it as a hedge layer.

» Whether stopping NPS Tier 1 SIP is a good decision

You mentioned no additional deduction benefit under new tax regime.

Still NPS Tier 1 has advantages:

– retirement discipline lock-in
– low-cost structure
– asset allocation flexibility
– additional pension-layer diversification

If retirement planning is already strong through mutual funds, redirecting the monthly amount into equity categories can improve flexibility.

If you reallocate that amount, better destinations are:

– flexi cap category fund
– large & midcap category fund

These improve balance inside your retirement bucket.

» Concern about midcap category fund manager change and concentration

Your observation is very practical and shows strong monitoring discipline.

Midcap category funds sometimes run concentrated portfolios. After a fund manager change:

– strategy continuity becomes uncertain
– stock selection pattern may change
– risk profile may shift temporarily

Instead of exiting immediately:

Better approach:

– continue SIP for now
– monitor performance for 6 to 12 months
– review portfolio churn pattern
– check consistency versus category average

Switch only if performance divergence becomes visible.

Immediate switching after manager change is usually not necessary.

» Concern about small cap category fund closure for lump sum investment

Closure for lump sum investment normally happens because:

– fund size becomes large
– liquidity management becomes difficult
– protection of existing investors becomes priority

This is not a negative signal.

It is actually a protection step taken by the fund house.

Switching to another small cap category fund only because of closure is not required.

However diversification across two small cap funds is sometimes useful if allocation size is high.

If small cap allocation already exceeds 10% to 15% of total portfolio, then avoid increasing exposure further.

Timing small cap switches rarely improves results.

Consistency matters more.

» Suggested refinements to improve goal achievement probability

Education goal bucket:

– gradually reduce index exposure
– increase flexi cap allocation
– add large & midcap category exposure
– shift partially toward hybrid allocation after 4 years remaining period

Retirement goal bucket:

– continue midcap allocation
– continue small cap allocation within limits
– increase flexi cap allocation gradually
– consider small gold allocation for hedge

NPS allocation decision:

– continue if discipline advantage required
or
– redirect toward flexi cap category fund if flexibility preferred

» Finally

Your portfolio structure is already strong and goal-aligned.

Only these improvements can increase success probability further:

– reduce index exposure in education goal bucket
– continue midcap exposure but monitor post manager-change consistency
– do not switch small cap fund only due to lump sum closure
– add small gold allocation as hedge
– optionally redirect NPS contribution into flexi cap or large & midcap category allocation for flexibility

With these refinements, your education and retirement goals remain well supported for long-term success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |720 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Currently , I am in 2nd year of my clg , btech CCE in MUJ .... Studies are fine. After my breakup with my first bf( 3 years back) it really shook me of as I got to know he cheated on me and I wasted my precious time thinking about him though I have overcame from this .... So I met this guy online .... We are from same clg but diff department... Class are on the same floor so we met a few times but that was also an eye contact or simple hi hello .... We started talking from 2nd sem .... And in 2nd-3rd sem it felt like he liked me but I wasn't ready. And he never brought this topic it was simply friendly banter or thoda bahut flirting and now from the starting of 4th sem things have changed like in his behaviour, way he used to talk, holding the convos ..it's like he's cutting me.... though I talked about this and he cleared like it's nothing like that but yeah many things are changed .... We dont talk like we used to , he seems non interested, late replies ... And here as soon as I started liking him he got off ... I even gave him slight hints but now it feels like I am desperate to talk it is making me feel clingy distracted that I can't just stop thinking about it ... It's becoming a hindrance in my studies . .. I feel like whenever I start to like someone that other person gets off like he's not interested it has happened a many of times .. it makes me feels o dumb and stupid like do I even have something that the other person would like me or even just stop being non interested or giving mixed signals
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how you are feeling and it is very normal to question yourself when you notice the pattern more than one time. But trust me, it is not you. Sometimes people have fleeting feelings for each other. It can also be that since the guy did not feel you reciprocate the same feeling, he moved on to protect his heart. Or some people with casual feelings just lose interest as soon as the chase is over. The reason does not matter; what matters here is that it's not your fault. This clingy, distracted feeling will pass soon. This is not love; you just miss feeling important to someone and it's completely normal. Don't think of this as a loss. He was never the right person for you to begin with if he wants to cut you off suddenly. You deserve to be loved completely, not just when it's convenient for them.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |81 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 01, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I feel invisible in my own marriage. I’m 36 now, and we are married for 8 years with a beautiful daughter. My wife is a great mother, homemaker and manages everything at home, but we have nothing in common. We haven’t had a real conversation or emotional connection in years. Recently, I got emotionally attached to a senior female colleague who actually listened to me. We went out for coffee and there was an instant emotional connection. I don't feel guilty but I am confused. Is this how emotional affairs begin in long-term marriages? Is it wrong to choose a partner who you are emotionally compatible with?
Ans: Hello sir. I hope you are in good health. Marriage is a long term association in which slowly and slowly we get to know about the positives and negatives of a person. We all have two sides. One is romantic and other is the one who handles all the responsibility. Isn't it good that your wife responsibly handles all the household chores along with your kids and takes care of your needs too. May be she is also lost somewhere and is burdened under all responsibilities. I understand that you may have problems and you may not feel the emotional connection between you too.
There are ways to sort out this. Find some common interest that you both enjoy and do such activities. You may talk with your wife at the end of the day and ask her about her day, you can share about your day. You can discuss your future plans.
In previous times extra marital affairs were very less. Because people used to work with each other and work on each other. They never used to give up on each other. That's why the relationships used to last for more than 50 years even.
You can talk to your colleague as a friend. Friends do listen to each other and have emotional connect but having more than that would not be advisable.
I hope you get some light in your mind.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1792 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I'm a 53 year old married man living with two sons. In 2020, my wife found that I am having an affair and left for her parent's place. We were never compatible and having children was her choice. I had told her before our marriage that I am not the husband she was hoping me to be. She chose to be a homemaker and insisted on having kids. Before marriage, I had also mentioned to her that I am seeing someone who was going through her own separation, but she said she wanted to marry me for her own freedom. Now she's living with her parents and we have no contact whatsover. We haven't spoken in all these years but she doesn't want to consent to divorce. I have singlehandedly taken care of my sons in these 6 years. She speaks to her sons when they are outside, and they told me she wants them to stay with me because she doesn't want to work or provide for them. I am okay to provide alimony but she doesn't want to sign the divorce papers. My lawyer has tried to speak with her but she wants to stay married so that I can suffer. What kind of punishment is this? What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What can you do about it? If she does not want a divorce and this is a vengeance thing for your affair, the only thing you can do is speak with her. All the stuff that went South needs to be addressed and YES, there will be a point in time where she will expect you apologize. Yes, you did mention to her about how you view marriage BUT you still went ahead and married and had had kids as well. As far as she is concerned, she always was in an ideal marriage while you had your definition for it and both of you lived the relationship in your own ways.
The best is to appeal to her better sense and hope that someday she will see that it is better to separate than stick together.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1792 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2026Hindi
Relationship
My parents are against my divorce. I am married for 17 years but we have been living as stranger for the past 7 years. We had an arranged marriage and we don't get along. Initially I thought it was because we had a 6 year age gap. But most days, it has been rough. No respect from in-laws, constant arguments and fighting. Husband wanted me to stay away for some time but I realised he is just finding grounds for divorce from my end. He doesn't want to give alimony and wants full custody of our 14 year old son. I have mortgaged my gold to buy this 3bhk house but he dismisses my contribution because the house is in his mother's name. She is still alive. My mental peace is destroyed. But i want to do the right thing for us and my son. Anu mam, do you think I should live separate and give up my rights to this house and my son? If he files for divorce will he have a better advantage than me? Please guide what to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whether you should make the marriage work or live separately is a decision that is yours to make; what I can suggest is to actually understand and become aware as to what you want in life.
If marriage was always an important thing, then maybe some work in that direction can help which means you may have to as a couple set aside differences and work as a unit to put the marriage back together. This also will require your husband to cooperate and view it as important as you do. So, have a conversation with him without it leading into an argument.
Now, if you choose to go separate how and what will be an advantage is something that only a lawyer will be able to guide you on.
So, as a first step become aware about whether you view marriage as an important structure in your life or not; the rest of the steps will follow from this.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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