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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1194 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Manoj Question by Manoj on Mar 19, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Madam I am 52 years and recently I have developed this fear of someone feeling bad or reacting adversely in whatever I do how to deal with this

Ans: Dear Manoj,
What happened for you to suddenly take notice of people reacting to you?
Did someone make you conscious or aware of something that embarrassed you?
When you become extra cautious around people, it's like walking on eggshells and this becomes a habit.
Even if you had goofed up or felt embarrassed with something, it could have been just one situational context. It belongs to that context which only means that there is no necessity to develop a blanket policy and apply it onto all contexts henceforth which is what you possibly have started doing.
So,
1. Think of the context after which you started to fell this way
2. Tell yourself that, that feeling is over with that situation
3. Recall all the times that you have been assertive and confident around people
4. Remind yourself on how people used to react positively to you in a conversation with them
5. Move ahead asserting to yourself that: It's a new day and so, newer and exciting things are waiting to happen

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1194 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 12, 2020

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Hi Anu, I'm 39 years old. Ever since my childhood, I was always afraid of facing people. Was reading in front of class or reciting a poem, I always felt running away and avoiding it. The problem further worsened as I grew up, as I started feeling difficult making friends. I get a feeling that people don't like me, and it’s evident whenever I'm part of a gathering usually peopleignore me. Hence I tend to avoid interacting with people. I don't know how to handle this situation. I don't have this issue while interacting with people whom I know, and am pretty confident with familiar people whom I interact with on day to day basis. In front of people, or when I put on a spot I really feel awkward and anxious. The thought keeps on bothering me and I don't get sleep at times. Please provide me suggestions/inputs on how I can get rid of this problem.
Ans: Dear S, You face what is called performance related stress as you are worried about failure and being embarrassed in front of a crowd.

Firstly, know why you are having to be in front of a crowd; office presentations, meetings and thinks like that. If it is necessary for your job and in life in general, let’s work at this.

Start watching videos of people who are orators, great speakers and who enthrall others on stage

Next, observe every movement of theirs and how they walk, talk, their voice etc.

Then, simply take on the same role imagining yourself to be them and do the same. Live this role. Try doing this many times over till it becomes second nature to you.

Finally, imagine a situation where you want to feel confident. And imagine doing your new learning from Step 3 and living it. Do this a couple of times till you think you are ready.

The next time, with the same situation, things should definitely go your way and you will be in charge for sure.

Be confident and happy new learning!

Anu Krishna is a Mind Coach, NLP Trainer, Zen Lifestyle Expert and has recently released her book The Secret of Life – Decoding Happiness.
She is also the Founder of Soulful Exploration LLP and Unfear Changemakers LLP.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1194 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 09, 2024Hindi
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I am 42 years old,done B.A and B.ED.I feel anxious whenever i sit with others.Even i can't share my feelings. I am a housewife. When i cook food i feel anxious whether others will like my food or not.Each work give me anxious moment. I am married and have a adopted male child.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What will happen if someone does not like your food?
What will happen if someone does not like something that you said or did?
What will happen if someone does not like you?
That's okay...we are all entitled to our opinions, aren't we? We like something and we dislike something, we like some people and dislike a few others.
So what?
You might have to learn to accept that a few people may not like you, like what you wear, like what you cook, like what you say...and that's fine...does that change anything about who you are? NO!
Then pull yourself up and step out of this zone where you spend time feeling anxious about things that are not within your control...Learn to live with a simple fact that you maybe serving food to a person who dislikes your food...expect a few comments from them, brush it aside, take a deep breath and move on to the next thing.
BUT
If the person genuinely means well and sharing their feedback with you, take it well as it goes a long way in your self-improvement...we are constantly learning, right?

Also, if there is something that you can do with your amazing qualifications, you will have less time to mull over these things. Use your time wisely...

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |366 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 09, 2024

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Mam how can I take proactive steps n cope with the fear and how to overcome it
Ans: it's crucial to understand and address the root of your fear. Reflect on the specific behaviors or situations involving your father or uncle that trigger your anxiety. Journaling can be a valuable tool in this process, allowing you to articulate your feelings and gain insight into the nature of your fear. Recognizing these triggers is essential for developing a plan to manage them.

Developing coping strategies is the next step. Techniques like deep breathing and mindfulness can help you remain calm in stressful situations. When you start feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to focus on your breathing—inhale slowly through your nose, hold briefly, and then exhale through your mouth. This practice can help ground you and reduce immediate anxiety.

Building a supportive network outside of your family can also provide significant relief. Surround yourself with friends, mentors, or a counselor who can offer guidance and a safe space to express your feelings. Talking to someone you trust about your fears can help you gain perspective and reassurance.

It’s also important to gradually build your confidence in handling interactions with your family. Start by setting small, manageable boundaries and practicing assertiveness in low-stakes situations. This can help you develop the skills needed to address more challenging situations when they arise.

If addressing these fears directly with your family feels too daunting, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can provide strategies to manage your fear and work through any underlying issues. They can also assist in developing communication skills and coping mechanisms tailored to your specific needs.

Ultimately, facing your fears is about building resilience and self-awareness. By taking these proactive steps, you can gradually shift from feeling overwhelmed to feeling more in control and empowered in your interactions with your family. Remember, it’s a process, and being patient with yourself as you work through these challenges is key.

..Read more

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