I am really afraid of speaking within group of people. And it is an occasion like I have to speak about a person or occasion etc I get terrified and nothing comes out of mind and I can't speak. How do I overcome this and I went to visit some doctor to get rectified please suggest me some clinics. I am 35 years old.

Ans: Dear R, I know this feeling. So many people feel like the crowd is going to swallow them. I have a few simple tricks for you.

1. First, watch videos of a person that you admire for their public speaking skills and one who is confident and sharp in front of an audience. Watch their every move, their rate of speech, their language, their body language.

2. Next, imagine yourself as a character on a stage/podium/meeting room in place of that person and as though you imitate his/her every move.

If you think, there is more that you want to add to feel more confident watching your character, like maybe pumping your fist in the air. Watch your character do that.

3. When you think that your character looks and feels confident, simply take a step forward and take on the character and face an imaginary crowd.

4. Now simply feel the elation as you have simply taken on the same role as the person that you admire and hence you feel the same air of confidence.

The key is to practice this many times over, till your mind supports you on this. Try this, it’s fun and it does work. Have a great confident self, be happy

Ans: Dear S, You face what is called performance related stress as you are worried about failure and being embarrassed in front of a crowd.

Firstly, know why you are having to be in front of a crowd; office presentations, meetings and thinks like that. If it is necessary for your job and in life in general, let’s work at this.

Start watching videos of people who are orators, great speakers and who enthrall others on stage

Next, observe every movement of theirs and how they walk, talk, their voice etc.

Then, simply take on the same role imagining yourself to be them and do the same. Live this role. Try doing this many times over till it becomes second nature to you.

Finally, imagine a situation where you want to feel confident. And imagine doing your new learning from Step 3 and living it. Do this a couple of times till you think you are ready.

The next time, with the same situation, things should definitely go your way and you will be in charge for sure.

Be confident and happy new learning!

Anu Krishna is a Mind Coach, NLP Trainer, Zen Lifestyle Expert and has recently released her book The Secret of Life – Decoding Happiness.
She is also the Founder of Soulful Exploration LLP and Unfear Changemakers LLP.

Ans: Firstly be fully conversant with the topic that you have to speak on.
Secondly, remember that all those around you also have a certain amount of stage fright, the idea is to tell yourself to keep focus, speak from your heart as you would do to a friend.
I always say 'relax relax relax' in my mind a number of times before I get on stage or have to face an interview... that and a bit of meditation helps for sure.

Ans: Dear Manoj,
What happened for you to suddenly take notice of people reacting to you?
Did someone make you conscious or aware of something that embarrassed you?
When you become extra cautious around people, it's like walking on eggshells and this becomes a habit.
Even if you had goofed up or felt embarrassed with something, it could have been just one situational context. It belongs to that context which only means that there is no necessity to develop a blanket policy and apply it onto all contexts henceforth which is what you possibly have started doing.
So,
1. Think of the context after which you started to fell this way
2. Tell yourself that, that feeling is over with that situation
3. Recall all the times that you have been assertive and confident around people
4. Remind yourself on how people used to react positively to you in a conversation with them
5. Move ahead asserting to yourself that: It's a new day and so, newer and exciting things are waiting to happen

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At your age, being self-conscious is natural...what is more important is how you perceive what is going on in a more mature way rather than worrying about it.
Instead of focusing on why you are unable to speak with girls, why not focus on how you can widen your social circle at school/college? Now this social circle can be girls and boys or only boys...why does that matter? Slowly, as you gain confidence within that social circle, you may start to feel better speaking with girls as well BUT do not make that as a measure of your confidence either way...
Also, play a sport; this is known to boost your self-esteem by working on your mind by keeping the body in a better shape.
Eventually as you grow older, there will be more opportunities to interact with girls; why worry so much about it now? Enjoy the teen years; they don't come back, you know!

All the best!