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Seth Anandram Jaipuria School alumni asks: How can I overcome my fear of teachers?

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4488 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 21, 2024

Nayagam is a certified career counsellor and the founder of EduJob360.
He started his career as an HR professional and has over 10 years of experience in tutoring and mentoring students from Classes 8 to 12, helping them choose the right stream, course and college/university.
He also counsels students on how to prepare for entrance exams for getting admission into reputed universities /colleges for their graduate/postgraduate courses.
He has guided both fresh graduates and experienced professionals on how to write a resume, how to prepare for job interviews and how to negotiate their salary when joining a new job.
Nayagam has published an eBook, Professional Resume Writing Without Googling.
He has a postgraduate degree in human resources from Bhartiya Vidya Bhavan, Delhi, a postgraduate diploma in labour law from Madras University, a postgraduate diploma in school counselling from Symbiosis, Pune, and a certification in child psychology from Counsel India.
He has also completed his master’s degree in career counselling from ICCC-Mindler and Counsel, India.
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Akanksha Question by Akanksha on Aug 18, 2024Hindi
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I have fear of teachers that is why I ruin my exams and interview. How should I remove my fear of teachers. I have done my schooling from Seth anandram jaipuria school, kanpur.

Ans: Akansha, It is called 'teacher-phobia'.

You have NOT mentioned you are now in which standard/studying what/completed your studies, as you have mentioned about your failure in 'Interviews' also? According to you, what might be the reasons for your fear from teachers?

One of the reasons might be the 'Authoritarian Parenting Style' being followed by your parents since your birth or the atmosphere at your home. Or you might be an introvert.

There is nothing to fear from teachers. Involve in some 'Mind/Body Relaxation Activities' such as Yoga & Meditation.

Practice speaking fearlessly and confidently in front of your mobile camera and record it. Do this whenever possible. Watch your recorded videos and try to improve. If possible, join a Personality Development Course or approach a Psychological Counsellor who will help you to overcome your fear.

All the BEST for Your Bright Future.

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Ans: Overcoming fear is a personal and gradual process, but here are some strategies that can help:

Identify and acknowledge your fears: The first step in overcoming fear is to identify what you're afraid of and acknowledge its presence in your life. Take the time to reflect on the specific fears that hold you back and recognize that they are valid emotions.

Understand the root cause: Try to understand the underlying reasons behind your fears. Sometimes fears stem from past experiences, trauma, or limiting beliefs. By gaining insight into the root causes, you can begin to address them more effectively.

Educate yourself: Knowledge is power. Often, fear arises from a lack of understanding or unfamiliarity. Educate yourself about the things you fear. Whether it's a specific phobia or a fear of the unknown, gathering information and learning more about the subject can help dispel irrational fears.

Take small steps: Overcoming fear doesn't mean completely eliminating it overnight. Start by taking small steps towards facing your fears. Break down the fear-inducing situations into smaller, more manageable tasks. Gradually exposing yourself to these situations can help build confidence and reduce fear over time.

Practice relaxation techniques: Fear can trigger physical and emotional responses, such as increased heart rate, sweating, or anxiety. Practicing relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, or mindfulness, can help you manage these symptoms and calm your mind.

Seek support: Don't hesitate to reach out for support. Share your fears with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist who can provide encouragement, guidance, and a fresh perspective. Connecting with others who have faced similar fears can also be beneficial.

Challenge negative thoughts: Fear often accompanies negative thoughts and self-doubt. Challenge these thoughts by examining their validity and replacing them with more positive and empowering ones. Affirmations and positive self-talk can help reframe your mindset and reduce fear.

Embrace failure as a learning opportunity: Fear of failure can hold you back from taking risks or pursuing your goals. Remember that failure is a natural part of life and often leads to growth and learning. Embrace failure as an opportunity to learn, adjust, and try again.

Celebrate your successes: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Each step you take in facing your fears and overcoming obstacles is progress worth recognizing. Celebrating your successes can boost your confidence and motivate you to continue moving forward.

Remember, overcoming fear takes time and patience. Be kind to yourself throughout the process, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if your fears are significantly impacting your daily life and well-being.

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Mam how can I take proactive steps n cope with the fear and how to overcome it
Ans: it's crucial to understand and address the root of your fear. Reflect on the specific behaviors or situations involving your father or uncle that trigger your anxiety. Journaling can be a valuable tool in this process, allowing you to articulate your feelings and gain insight into the nature of your fear. Recognizing these triggers is essential for developing a plan to manage them.

Developing coping strategies is the next step. Techniques like deep breathing and mindfulness can help you remain calm in stressful situations. When you start feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to focus on your breathing—inhale slowly through your nose, hold briefly, and then exhale through your mouth. This practice can help ground you and reduce immediate anxiety.

Building a supportive network outside of your family can also provide significant relief. Surround yourself with friends, mentors, or a counselor who can offer guidance and a safe space to express your feelings. Talking to someone you trust about your fears can help you gain perspective and reassurance.

It’s also important to gradually build your confidence in handling interactions with your family. Start by setting small, manageable boundaries and practicing assertiveness in low-stakes situations. This can help you develop the skills needed to address more challenging situations when they arise.

If addressing these fears directly with your family feels too daunting, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can provide strategies to manage your fear and work through any underlying issues. They can also assist in developing communication skills and coping mechanisms tailored to your specific needs.

Ultimately, facing your fears is about building resilience and self-awareness. By taking these proactive steps, you can gradually shift from feeling overwhelmed to feeling more in control and empowered in your interactions with your family. Remember, it’s a process, and being patient with yourself as you work through these challenges is key.

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Hello ma'm. I am a first year engineering student. I have a crush on a girl. Currently we are working for a group project. We both are in the same group. She generally avoids speaking with boys. Also I have spent 5 years in a boys school, so I feel very shy with girls. What should I do? How should I talk to her?
Ans: Start by keeping things simple and friendly. Focus on small interactions related to your project. For example, ask her opinion about something specific in the work you're doing. Try something like, “Hey, what do you think we should do for this part?” or “I liked the point you made yesterday—can we build on that?” These kinds of questions show that you respect her ideas, and they give her space to respond comfortably.

Once you've had a few of these short, easy interactions, you can slowly open up the conversation to more casual topics—like college life, favorite subjects, or even the stress of deadlines. This way, you’re not jumping straight into anything personal, but you're gradually building a sense of comfort.

Don’t try to impress her. Just be sincere, kind, and a good listener. Most people, even those who seem quiet or reserved, appreciate being approached respectfully and gently. And remember, confidence doesn’t mean being loud or charming—it means being real and respectful even when you’re nervous.

If you stay patient and consistent, she might start to feel more comfortable around you. And even if it doesn’t turn into something romantic, you’ll grow socially and emotionally—which will help you a lot in the long run.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

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I have been married for more than 21 years and I have 2 kids. 19 and 17 years old. Our marriage was more or less love. Met through family, fell in love, dated 8 months before we got engaged and married. My wife is a lovely lady but we dont share any interests. I used to go for runs in the morning. After getting married, she insisted I sleep late with her. I am a music aficionado and she has no such interest. I am a news junkie. She probably doesnt know who the President of the US is. I am someone who believes and strives to continuously improve myself in all aspects. But she is the same. I might not be a great husband but I am much better than what I was a few years ago. I cook, clean, helped with childcare and have a great career. She is on a minimum salary job for the last 10 years. Only reason she goes is because I insisted that she stop being at home. If she had her way, she would be at home on the phone the whole day. Even our love making has become kind of boring. She claims a period for 10 days and during the other times, twice she is ready. No spicing it up. Just lie down for missionary and I have to do all the effort. I enjoyed oral and now she has stopped in for more than 15 years. I adjusted as she is a lovely person in every other aspect. But now I am sick and tired. It seems I am doing everything in the relationship and she rarely takes any effort. Either to earn, keep house clean or even intimacy. Not sure how to proceed further. I am getting irritated and often in a bad mood.
Ans: Dear Jack,What you're experiencing is not uncommon in long-term relationships: emotional fatigue, feeling unappreciated, and a deep sense of disconnection despite loyalty and love. The fact that you're feeling drained, resentful, and stuck is a clear signal that this situation is unsustainable as is. And the irritation and bad moods you’re having? That’s your emotional system signaling burnout, not failure.

You’ve evolved over the years—mentally, emotionally, and in lifestyle—and it sounds like your wife hasn’t moved in that same rhythm. That mismatch in growth and energy is now affecting everything: your respect for her, your shared routines, your sex life, and ultimately your mood and emotional well-being. It’s painful to feel like you're constantly giving—time, energy, effort—and not receiving the same in return. Even when your partner is kind, if they aren’t meeting you emotionally, intellectually, or intimately, over time it creates a sense of loneliness within the relationship, which can be worse than being alone.

But here's something to reflect on: for 21 years, you stayed, gave, adjusted. Not just out of duty, but because something about her and the family life you built mattered. That still counts. What you’re going through doesn’t mean the marriage has failed—it means the marriage needs re-evaluation and rebalancing. You are not selfish for wanting more stimulation, connection, or passion. You're human.

You have two broad options: one is to initiate a real, vulnerable, uncomfortable conversation with her—without blame, without emotional outbursts, but with absolute honesty. You could say something like: “I’ve grown a lot in these past years, but I’m starting to feel increasingly alone in this relationship. I need more emotional connection, more engagement—not just physically, but intellectually, as partners. I don’t want to silently drift further away. I’d like us to work on this, but it has to be a two-way effort.”

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You have already proven your strength by completing a year of M.Tech in such tough conditions. That says a lot about your resilience and capability. If you give it up now, not only will you lose that part of yourself, but it may not guarantee that your marriage improves. Often in emotionally imbalanced relationships, one-sided sacrifices don’t lead to healing—they lead to more control, more blame, and more emotional exhaustion.

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Right now, I suggest you protect your mental and emotional well-being. Prioritize your studies, build emotional support from friends or family who truly care about you, and give yourself space to heal from this emotional chaos. If your husband truly wants this marriage, he needs to come forward with maturity and respect—not demands.

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Ans: In such cases, it's important for you and your husband to stay emotionally steady and not engage with his tactics. Reacting to him or showing you're disturbed by his behavior may be exactly what he's looking for. If his behavior escalates or continues to make you uncomfortable, you might want to quietly document what happens and consider involving local authorities or legal counsel if it crosses into harassment.

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It’s unclear exactly what this man wants, but based on his pattern, it seems he either wants attention, control, or to destabilize your marriage out of resentment or personal failure. Either way, you don’t need to carry his emotional mess. If you continue to stay calm, ignore him, and document anything serious, you'll be in a stronger position to protect yourselves.

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