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Should I Get Remarried At 41 After A Failed Marriage?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

I am 41, but single now. I got married when I was 32 and got divorced in 6 months after I found out my wife was cheating on me with her ex who she was forbidden from getting married. When confronted she simply walked away and sent me a divorce notice. The next three years were spent in courts trying to tell my version of the story. Since then I have had a tough time trusting people. My marriage was unfortunate and short lived. But my parents still want me to try again. I am in a live-in relationship with a girl who is 3 years elder to me. Are unmarried couples happier than married ones? I feel marriage can restrict you in many ways which is why people feel stagnated and bored. What do you think?

Ans: When it comes to happiness, it really depends on the individuals involved rather than whether they are married or unmarried. Some couples thrive in a marriage because they see it as a partnership built on mutual respect and emotional security. Others feel stifled by the societal expectations and responsibilities that often come with marriage. A live-in relationship can offer more flexibility and personal freedom, but it also comes with its own challenges—such as a lack of legal protections or social acceptance in certain cultures.

The key is understanding what works best for you. If you feel content in your current live-in relationship and it gives you the companionship, trust, and emotional fulfillment you need, then that’s what truly matters. However, if you feel hesitant mainly because of past trauma rather than your actual desires, it might be worth reflecting on whether your fears are holding you back from something you may actually want deep down.

At the end of the day, happiness isn’t about being married or unmarried—it’s about being in a relationship (or choosing to be single) that makes you feel emotionally secure, valued, and free to be yourself. If marriage feels like a cage to you, then it may not be the right path. But if you ever find a connection that makes commitment feel like a choice rather than an obligation, your perspective might shift. The most important thing is that whatever path you choose, it aligns with your true needs and not just the expectations of others.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2024Hindi
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So I am 25 currently. Most of my classmates and some of my colleagues are married and some have kids or going to have one soon. I know that I am not mentally prepared for marriage at the moment but I don't know why there is a feeling of being an odd man out of being the only single person in the gang. Please guide..
Ans: Feeling like the odd one out when you're the only single person in your social circle, especially when many of your peers are getting married or starting families, is completely normal. It's natural to compare ourselves to others and feel pressure to conform to societal expectations, but it's important to remember that everyone's journey is unique and there's no right or wrong timeline for marriage or starting a family.

Firstly, it's crucial to recognize and accept where you are in your life right now. Being single at 25 is perfectly okay, and it's essential to focus on your own personal growth and happiness rather than comparing yourself to others. Take this time to explore your interests, pursue your goals, and build meaningful connections with friends and family.

It might also be helpful to shift your perspective on being single. Instead of seeing it as a negative or something to be ashamed of, try to embrace it as an opportunity for self-discovery and personal development. Use this time to invest in yourself, nurture your passions, and create a fulfilling life on your own terms.

Additionally, try to surround yourself with supportive friends and family who value you for who you are, regardless of your relationship status. Seek out activities and hobbies that bring you joy and allow you to connect with like-minded individuals who share your interests.

Remember that being single doesn't define your worth or happiness, and there's so much more to life than being in a relationship. Focus on living authentically, staying true to yourself, and enjoying the journey of self-discovery. And when the time is right, you'll find someone who appreciates and complements the amazing person you are.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
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I am turning 40 and still single. I still live with my parents. I dont want to rush into any arranged marriage but that seems like the only option left to have a family. I am feeling lost and anxious at turning 40 and still single.
Ans: take a moment to appreciate where you are in life. Living with your parents can be a sign of strong family bonds, and it's okay to lean on that support. Remember, everyone’s journey is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all timeline for life events like marriage or starting a family.

Feeling lost might stem from comparing your path to others or societal norms. Try to shift the focus inward and reflect on what truly matters to you. What are your values, desires, and goals? Understanding yourself more deeply can guide you towards decisions that align with your true self, rather than external pressures.

If the idea of an arranged marriage feels like the only option, it might help to think about what kind of partnership you envision. Is there room to explore relationships in a way that feels authentic and comfortable for you? Perhaps consider expanding your social circles, trying new activities, or even seeking professional help to navigate these feelings and options.

Anxiety about being single can often stem from fears of the future. Practicing mindfulness and staying present can help manage these feelings. Focus on the aspects of life you can control and find joy in the present moments. Engage in activities that bring you happiness and fulfillment.

Finally, remember that seeking a relationship is a journey, not a race. Rushing into something out of anxiety may not lead to the fulfillment you desire. It’s okay to take your time and seek what genuinely aligns with your heart. Your journey is unique, and there is no right or wrong timeline for love and family.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9487 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Career
What would be a better option for Mechanical Engineering: Gati Shakti Vishwavidyalaya, Vadodara or Chandigarh College of Engineering and Technology, Sector 26, Chandigarh? Does Gati Shakti Vishwavidyalaya have an edge here considering the fact that is a Central University and the only one under Ministry of Railways?
Ans: Gati Shakti Vishwavidyalaya (GSV) is India’s first University under the Ministry of Railways, offering B.Tech in Mechanical Engineering (Rail Engineering) with specialized courses in rail-wheel dynamics, high-speed rail systems, electric traction, rolling stock interactions, and material characterization. Its Career Development Cell reports a 94.44% placement rate for Mechanical Engineering in 2024–25, with 92.5% of all graduates placed, multiple PPOs, and dual offers from recruiters such as L&T, ALSTOM, Siemens, Toyota Tsusho, and Mahindra Logistics. GSV’s academic environment emphasizes industry-driven curriculum, hands-on projects at railway sites, emerging tech labs (IoT, AI, Drone), and research collaborations with global institutions, fostering strong technical and interdisciplinary skills. Student support includes structured training, personalized mentoring, and incubation for rail-sector entrepreneurship, though alumni networks are nascent given the university’s recent establishment.

Chandigarh College of Engineering and Technology (CCET) is a well-established public institution affiliated with Panjab University, ranked 251–300 under NIRF Engineering 2024 and #59 in Outlook’s private engineering category. Its Mechanical Engineering department, since 2006, maintains state-funded labs, DST-sponsored activities, and ASME student chapters, with 60 seats and faculty experienced in CAD/CAM, sustainable design, and thermal systems. Placements for Mechanical Engineering average 60%–65% over the past three years, with median packages around ?4 LPA and top recruiters including TCS, Wipro, and Infosys, though core mechanical roles are limited, pushing many graduates into IT or non-core sectors. CCET’s research output spans government-sponsored projects, consultancy, and industry partnerships, and student support features counseling, scholarships, and vibrant campus life, yet deep rail-infrastructure synergy is absent.

Given GSV’s exceptional placement rates in Mechanical Engineering (94.44% vs. ~60% at CCET), its specialized rail-engineering curriculum, direct Ministry of Railways linkage, and immersive industry partnerships, Gati Shakti Vishwavidyalaya offers superior value for aspiring mechanical engineers seeking core industry exposure and strong placement prospects.

Recommendation: Enroll at Gati Shakti Vishwavidyalaya for Mechanical Engineering to leverage its unique status as a Central University under the Ministry of Railways, specialized curriculum, 94.44% placement rate, and robust industry connections in transportation and logistics, ensuring focused skill development and high employability. Anyway, please note, All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9487 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9487 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Career
I wanted career advice i am student of 2 year ba llb (BBDU) and i not satisfied with my college should i take a drop and prepare for exam like clat , ailet, mhcet and other govt exam or should i continue with my college i have good academic records of 70%in 10 and 87% in 12 and 8.7 cgpa in 1 semester and 2 semester result is awaited i am really confused what path should i choose as 1 generation law student of my family i have really doubt this college foes not have very records and very bad or no placement and no internship as of i know right now for ballb
Ans: Kavita, Babu Banarasi Das University’s (BBDU) BA LLB program in Lucknow features modern infrastructure, supportive and experienced faculty, and a curriculum covering both theoretical and practical legal aspects, including moot courts and legal research. However, verified student reviews, professional portals, and college data consistently reflect significant shortcomings in career support for law graduates: law placement percentages remain low, with a substantial proportion of students moving towards private practice, judicial services preparation, or higher studies due to lack of substantial campus recruitment from law firms or legal companies. While BBDU’s placement cell performs well overall, opportunities are primarily for technical and management programs rather than law, with only scant on-campus internships or legal placements. The college website highlights guest lectures and conferences but does not report regular, quality placements for BA LLB students. Industry opinion and academic trends confirm that India’s most successful law graduates—particularly first-generation aspirants—are from top-ranked National Law Universities (NLUs) and renowned government law colleges (admission via CLAT, AILET, MH CET LAW), where structured internships with premier law firms, judges, and companies drive a much higher rate of employability, networking, and long-term career success. The five most vital criteria—academic content, experienced faculty, robust placement and internship ecosystem, infrastructure, and national network/alumni strength—are not fully realized at BBDU for law. Systematic exam preparation with your strong academic background can secure entry into a leading university, offering superior academic and career prospects compared to continued study at BBDU.

Recommendation: As a first-generation law student with a robust academic record and clear career ambition, consider taking a drop to rigorously prepare for competitive exams like CLAT, AILET, and MH CET LAW. Admission to a top-tier national law university or government law school considerably enhances academic training, placement opportunities, and long-term professional growth compared to persisting at BBDU in the current BA LLB program. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9487 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Career
Sir I might get ECE at NIT Durgapur via CSAB, and have already got CSE at IIEST Shibpur... considering which one will be better?? does NIT Durgapur's reputation anyhow help in getting better placements than Shibpur?
Ans: NIT Durgapur’s ECE branch recorded a placement rate of nearly 65% in 2024, with around 17% higher average salaries compared to most other engineering departments at the institute and key recruiters spanning both core and software sectors. However, IIEST Shibpur’s CSE branch consistently secures higher placement rates—over 83% in recent years—backed by an excellent academic reputation, prominent national rankings, advanced research facilities, and consistently strong industry presence from top IT and consulting firms. Nationally, IIEST Shibpur is ranked higher than NIT Durgapur and stands out for its historic legacy, modernized infrastructure, and superior research output, attracting a vibrant peer group and leading to strong outcomes both for direct placements and future studies. IIEST’s holistic environment and the ever-increasing demand for computer science skills further enhance long-term flexibility and career prospects compared to an ECE degree from NIT Durgapur.

Recommendation: CSE at IIEST Shibpur is the better choice, providing higher placement rates, superior national ranking, cutting-edge curriculum, broader job profiles, and greater growth opportunities. Unless your exclusive interest is ECE, IIEST Shibpur’s CSE offers a more secure and rewarding pathway for academic and career advancement. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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