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Turning 40 and Single: Is Arranged Marriage My Only Option?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |477 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 08, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
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I am turning 40 and still single. I still live with my parents. I dont want to rush into any arranged marriage but that seems like the only option left to have a family. I am feeling lost and anxious at turning 40 and still single.

Ans: take a moment to appreciate where you are in life. Living with your parents can be a sign of strong family bonds, and it's okay to lean on that support. Remember, everyone’s journey is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all timeline for life events like marriage or starting a family.

Feeling lost might stem from comparing your path to others or societal norms. Try to shift the focus inward and reflect on what truly matters to you. What are your values, desires, and goals? Understanding yourself more deeply can guide you towards decisions that align with your true self, rather than external pressures.

If the idea of an arranged marriage feels like the only option, it might help to think about what kind of partnership you envision. Is there room to explore relationships in a way that feels authentic and comfortable for you? Perhaps consider expanding your social circles, trying new activities, or even seeking professional help to navigate these feelings and options.

Anxiety about being single can often stem from fears of the future. Practicing mindfulness and staying present can help manage these feelings. Focus on the aspects of life you can control and find joy in the present moments. Engage in activities that bring you happiness and fulfillment.

Finally, remember that seeking a relationship is a journey, not a race. Rushing into something out of anxiety may not lead to the fulfillment you desire. It’s okay to take your time and seek what genuinely aligns with your heart. Your journey is unique, and there is no right or wrong timeline for love and family.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1431 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 14, 2023Hindi
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Dear Mam, Kindly note that i am a 39 yrs old guy who is not married yet. The reason behind me not getting married are basically coz i m unable to get a match at my age and none of proposals that i have seen so far, none of dem have turn positive. Now i feel like even though i want to get married, i ll end up alone in life coz at 39 i feel i will not get any match. I am very scared to living the rest of life alone.So mam i want you to help me out ways to live life alone. How to cope up with peers, relatives and colleagues pressure to get married?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's address your concerns:
1. "I want to get married or I'll end up alone.": This is not a reason to get married and you know that. Get married to build a team, a family together where you help each other grow. Incidentally, you also have a companion and lonely days instead become days filled with happy cheer and sometimes challenges as well. So, change your mindset while looking for prospects for marriage so that when you are in conversation with someone who is a match, you don't come across needy but instead focus on how the two of you grow together.
Your fear is right now pulling you into marriage rather than for more positive reasons.

2. Pressure from relatives and peers: Is it their life that you are leading? NO! Then stop focusing on what they tell you and focus on how you can make the best use of matrimonial sites or dating apps (if you choose that). Also, request your friends to set you up with someone that they might know since they know you well.

You can also join groups and communities online (beware of scams and scamsters here) where you might find like-minded people to meet and interact with. Being part of some hobby class or adventure camps may also allow for similar meeting points where you can hit it off with people who hold similar interests as yours.

Lastly, don't give up...when the time is right, it is...So, don't lose hope BUT certainly lose your current fearful mindset and embrace a mindset that is joyful and cheerful and selfless.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1431 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024
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