Hi Mam. I am 40 years old single woman. I was happy being single and never had any issues regarding this. But few days back i suddenly started liking somone who is 10 yrs younger than me. We both work volunteer in social work. He doesn't feel same for me. He is luking for girl to get married. He never message nor called me except for work related issues. I also never told him abt my feelings as i know he will refuse. So i don't want to get myself embarrassed. Pls help me how to deal with this situation as i am feeling very upset and stressed all the time. As I can't properly avoid him.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry that you are in such a tough spot. My advice would be to move on. Yes, I realize that it is easier said than done but let's put things into perspective- first, you have no future with this man, and he has made it clear. Are you okay to keep hanging on to him while he builds his own life? I am assuming no, especially since you have a child. Second, what about your self-respect? He is directly telling you that this relationship is headed toward a dead end. Do you believe you deserve to be with someone who does not want to settle down with you? I believe you deserve better.

I am not blaming him because he made no promises. You are not to be held guilty either because you were in a tough spot and you grabbed the first emotional support you found. But the current reality is that he wants out. And convincing him to stay is not an option. At this point, moving on with your head held high is the best decision. If you want to accept his friendship, that is completely fine. But if that's too much for you, you can always decline it. I understand that working in the same space with an ex is difficult, but as long as you avoid interacting outside of the office and keep things professional, there should not be an issue. On the emotional front, I won't lie, it will hurt for a while. But this too shall pass. I strongly recommend you not to value yourself so low that you stop believing that you deserve a person who loves you back as much as you love him.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Its fine. Talk to more guys. If he doesn't like you the way you like him, that's fine. You need to find your type

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
So, the younger chap had his fun and now when you look for emotional support, he talks of no future together.
What does this tell you? Should you allow yourself to be a part of the push and pull drama? Also, without a closure from your marriage, this is just going to be an off-on relationship. It's time you acknowledge that you are more into this than he is...
Safeguard your mind now by drawing lines where necessary...
As far as meeting at the workplace, you will now face resistance from him, he might even fail to acknowledge your presence...And this will hurt; that's why I suggested it's more than a heartbreak, a mind game...Become your own best friend and do the right think for yourself!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/