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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |140 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on May 21, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - May 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Mam. I am 40 years old single woman. I was happy being single and never had any issues regarding this. But few days back i suddenly started liking somone who is 10 yrs younger than me. We both work volunteer in social work. He doesn't feel same for me. He is luking for girl to get married. He never message nor called me except for work related issues. I also never told him abt my feelings as i know he will refuse. So i don't want to get myself embarrassed. Pls help me how to deal with this situation as i am feeling very upset and stressed all the time. As I can't properly avoid him.

Ans: As you stated you should not have issues in being single, its a choice you have made. And its awesome to know that you fancy someone and age did not matter to you. Having said this, you know he will not reciprocate your feeling, keeping this in mind, you need to start viewing him as a co-worker, it will be tough, but you need to do so for your own sanity. Also you should not read into anything in case he does something nice for you, by your message he seems to be clear that he sees you as a co-worker.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |115 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

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Relationship
Hi I am 39 year married woman with one 13yr boy and living in joint family. I am doing everything very honestly and sincerely as housewife but I never got love respect as wife from my husband and few years after our marriage I had seen changes in his behavior and day by day he is getting very rude towards me. So I decided to enquire the reason behind these and came to know that he is having affair with someone whom he is treating as his wife and giving everything to her as his wife and also wants to marry her. I told these to both of our parents and after talking with him he assured of not continuing the affair. But after that incident I had not seen any change in his behavior and still acting in the same way. I told these to my parents but because of some compulsion we both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is but these is very difficult for me to accept these and continue these relationship. In my schooldays I likes a boy, we love each other but after my marriage we had never been in contact with each other and he also not contacted me .But after these incident and during Corona I contacted him to know how he is and came to know that he is still unmarried and waiting for me and I told him about my married life.As he loves me very much and still wants me as his wife and told me that he will accept me as I am. As I also loves him a lot and after knowing that he is still waiting for me its become very difficult for me live without him as now i doesn’t feel complete without him. I remain honest in my married life but after these incident I dont want to live here and also unable to leave because of family condition and also because of the society we lived in. We shares everything with each other . He respects me and my feelings and loves me a lot and I feel that he is always there for me and will support me in all respect. Kindly guide
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time. It sounds like you're in a very complex situation, and I'm not qualified to give you advice on personal or emotional matters. However, I can offer some general information that may be helpful.

It's important to remember that you're not alone in this. Many people go through difficult times in their marriages, and there are resources available to help you cope. If you're feeling overwhelmed, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with support and guidance as you work through your challenges.

If you're thinking about leaving your marriage, it's important to weigh all of your options carefully and consider the potential consequences of your decision. You may want to talk to a lawyer or financial advisor to get advice on what your rights and options are.

Ultimately, the decision of what to do is up to you. There is no right or wrong answer, and what works for one person may not work for another. However, it's important to make your decision based on what is best for you and your family.

I hope this information is helpful. Please remember that you're not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to help.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |474 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Dear LG, Please keep this anonymous. I have been married since 6 years. However, since past 5+ years we have not been intimate. We haave a 5&1/2 year kid. Since his birth we have had a lot of differences and his family interference was lot leaving me alone and wounded. I don't stay with my husband and in-laws since then. I had made up that work is worship. But 2 years back I met a colleague. He is 10 years younger to me and we have extremely similar vibes. We enjoy each other's company and cared a lot. Eventually i fell in love with him. But he always knew he wont be able to go against his family. We also had relationship. Now he has strated looking for girls and wants us to stop being intimate. He is saying he wants to be friends and not loose me but not have relationship. We both work together in same space and our area of work is also same. I am unable to forgive my husband and forget this person. He never goes away. He is always there telling that I want to see you happy. He needs me for professional development. And i am not able to loose our relationship. He says physical intimacy only I cant have remaining Im there. Then again says I don’t know when I will be there so I am unable to give assurance or promise. I am tormented with a child, work and my health is getting affected. Can you please help?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry that you are in such a tough spot. My advice would be to move on. Yes, I realize that it is easier said than done but let's put things into perspective- first, you have no future with this man, and he has made it clear. Are you okay to keep hanging on to him while he builds his own life? I am assuming no, especially since you have a child. Second, what about your self-respect? He is directly telling you that this relationship is headed toward a dead end. Do you believe you deserve to be with someone who does not want to settle down with you? I believe you deserve better.

I am not blaming him because he made no promises. You are not to be held guilty either because you were in a tough spot and you grabbed the first emotional support you found. But the current reality is that he wants out. And convincing him to stay is not an option. At this point, moving on with your head held high is the best decision. If you want to accept his friendship, that is completely fine. But if that's too much for you, you can always decline it. I understand that working in the same space with an ex is difficult, but as long as you avoid interacting outside of the office and keep things professional, there should not be an issue. On the emotional front, I won't lie, it will hurt for a while. But this too shall pass. I strongly recommend you not to value yourself so low that you stop believing that you deserve a person who loves you back as much as you love him.

Best Wishes.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3996 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

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Career
Hello, i have 26 yrs of experience in the IT industry, and currently working as a consultant technical manager for important projects in several drdo labs in Hyderabad for the past few years. Despite being handson in coding, system design, I am also responsible for team management, deliverables, requirement analysis, and stakeholder management. I have an executive MBA from xlri and certification from pmi. Being 54 years of age, what are my options? Are there opportunities for people in the 50s? How about remote work or freelancing opportunities? I kind of find myself stuck and would like to explore opportunities. Any ideas? how to stay relevant in this ever changing world of technology?
Ans: Sumit Sir,
54-year-old with a strong background in the IT field, high-stakes projects, and an Executive MBA from XLRI can still stay relevant and look for opportunities. You can try for freelance consulting, work from home, coach, mentor, and train businesses in Agile methods, stakeholder handling, and team leadership.

To stay current, you can move into academic or research roles as an adjunct professor, work on research projects with universities or think tanks, or start your own business as a niche consultant.

To look for opportunities, make your LinkedIn profile stand out, share stories or insights, actively network, upskill strategically, and build a portfolio. Being old is an asset, but it's important to use it as a unique selling point and be flexible to stay competitive. By carefully using your skills and experience, you can open up many good opportunities and continue to thrive in the ever-changing tech world. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future.

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Jobs|Education|Careers'.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3996 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 24, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hi Sir/Madam, Kindly request you to please guide in Finance and Accounts sector which is the best course certification or any training or course to do online if the individual man has a career gap of 3 years with 2.5 years of experience with only B.com degree. Kindly request you to please guide has I need the job very urgently. Kindly request you to share list of important course or certifications through online to get a job has a analyst or Executive or associate in management Level. Thanks and Regards.
Ans: Coursera and LinkedIn Learning offer various certifications in accounting and finance, including Tally ERP 9 or TallyPrime, QuickBooks Online, Analyst for Financial Modeling and Valuation (FMVA), First Level of Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA), GST Certification Course on Tax & Compliance, Tax Filing Course, and SAP Financial Accounting and Controlling (SAP FICO). Coursera also provides Excel Skills for Business and Power BI and Tableau courses for data visualization.

To update your resume, focus on your B.Com degree and work skills, list desired licenses, start freelance or internship projects, use networking to connect with finance and accounting candidates on LinkedIn, and improve your "soft skills" to improve communication, time management, and problem-solving abilities. These certifications and skills will increase your chances of getting a job quickly and look good on your resume. By incorporating these certifications and skills, you can increase your chances of success in the finance and accounting industry. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future. Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Jobs|Education|Careers'.

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