Hi ! I am a 38 year old divorced woman. Its almost 10 years that I got divorced, from a man with whom I was married for 2 months. Since then, I never had a long relationship with anyone. For the past 1 month, I feel I have developed feelings for my cousin (sister) who is 10 years older to me. She too is divorced, long back. (2006). I understand she too has feelings for me. What should I do. Please suggest.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your ex-partner is married and that gives you every right to move on. I understand that the situation is tricky here but the first thing is to make sure you tell your present crush about your ex and the fact that they are related. If all of that is already out in the open, it's time to assess if the girl also feels the same way about you. If that aligns, there's no reason why you can't express your feelings for her. But if she isn't comfortable dating her cousin's ex, you should leave it at that.

It's important to understand that life does not have to be so complicated. You can give it a try but if things don't work out, move on. There are surely many more women who are looking for someone exactly like you.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

If you are asking if it's okay to be in love with someone while you are married to another woman, the answer is no. No, it isn't okay. It goes without saying. You committed to your wife because you love and respect her. Falling for another woman is not even close to okay. Hope it gives you clarity.

Best wishes.

Ans: Dear Aasheesh,

You’re 58 now, divorced, and perhaps seeking a meaningful connection or revisiting something that felt unfinished. She, however, is married. This is an important factor to consider deeply. Any attempt to reignite a romantic or physical relationship would not only involve her but also impact her spouse, her family, and potentially her sense of stability and well-being. While your feelings are valid and deserve acknowledgment, so too are the commitments and responsibilities she has in her life now.

It’s also important to reflect on why these feelings are resurfacing now. Is it about her specifically, or is it more about reconnecting with a time in your life that felt exciting, safe, or deeply connected? Sometimes, our desire to rekindle a past relationship stems from wanting to recapture the emotions and experiences associated with it, rather than the person themselves. Understanding this distinction can help you clarify what you truly want and whether pursuing it is the right path.

If you feel the urge to express your feelings, I would encourage you to do so with honesty and respect, but only in a way that doesn’t cross boundaries or disrupt her life. You could share how much that connection meant to you and how happy you are to be back in touch. However, I would advise against pursuing a physical or romantic relationship unless her circumstances change, and even then, it would require careful consideration from both of you.

Ultimately, this is a moment to reflect on what you truly need and value at this stage in your life. If you’re yearning for love and connection, there are ways to explore this that honor both your past and the present realities of your lives. Perhaps it’s worth exploring these feelings further with a therapist or counselor, as they can provide a safe and supportive space to delve deeper into what this relationship represents for you and how best to navigate it.

You deserve happiness and fulfillment, and so does she. The key is finding a path forward that honors both.