Hi ! I am a 38 year old divorced woman. Its almost 10 years that I got divorced, from a man with whom I was married for 2 months. Since then, I never had a long relationship with anyone. For the past 1 month, I feel I have developed feelings for my cousin (sister) who is 10 years older to me. She too is divorced, long back. (2006). I understand she too has feelings for me. What should I do. Please suggest.

Ans: You have taken a big and emotional step. Buying a self-use home for your family is always special. With your income level and disciplined savings habit, you have clearly planned before acting. That itself is a positive sign.

Let us evaluate this in a structured way.

» Income vs EMI Position

– Combined salary: Rs. 2.6L per month
– Proposed Home EMI: Rs. 70K
– Existing EMIs: Rs. 17K (car) + Rs. 19K (land)
– Total EMI outgo will be around Rs. 1.06L

This means roughly 40% of your income will go towards loans.

– This is slightly on the higher side but still manageable.
– After one year, car loan will close. That will reduce pressure.
– Main risk is interest rate increase. If rates go up, EMI or tenure will increase.

From a cash flow angle, this decision is not wrong. But it requires discipline.

» Savings and Liquidity Position

You are doing very well here:

– SIP: Rs. 53K
– RD: Rs. 55K
– Monthly expenses: Rs. 30K
– Emergency fund: Around Rs. 2.1L

Concern area:

– Emergency fund is low compared to your commitments.
– After new EMI, your monthly fixed commitments become high.

You should maintain at least 6 months of total expenses including EMIs. With new home loan, that buffer should be stronger. Presently it is insufficient.

Before taking possession:

– Increase emergency fund aggressively.
– Do not depend on stocks as emergency fund because market can fall anytime.

» Use of EPF for Down Payment

Using EPF for self-occupied house is allowed. But remember:

– EPF is long-term retirement money.
– Once withdrawn, compounding stops.
– Your retirement planning gets slightly delayed.

It is not wrong. But now you must compensate by increasing long-term investments later.

» Overall Financial Load

Your current structure:

– 3 loans running
– 2 LIC policies
– Term plans in place (good decision)
– Health insurance in place (very good decision)

I would suggest:

– Review LIC policies carefully. If they are traditional policies with low returns, consider surrendering and reinvesting into mutual funds aligned to long-term goals.
– Insurance and investment should be separate.
– Continue SIPs. Do not stop equity investing because of home purchase.

» Child’s Future Planning

Your child is 3.5 years old. Education cost after 15 years will be very high.

– Home EMI should not disturb education goal investing.
– Continue SIP and gradually increase every year.
– Step-up investing whenever salary increases.

» Stress Test Scenario

Ask yourself:

– What if one income stops for 6 months?
– What if interest rates increase?
– What if medical emergency happens?

If you can handle these situations with savings and insurance, then decision is safe.

» Emotional vs Financial Decision

For self-use home:

– It gives stability.
– It gives emotional comfort.
– It protects you from rent inflation.

Financially, it stretches you moderately but not dangerously. Because your income is strong and expenses are controlled.

» What You Must Do Now

– Build emergency fund to at least 6–8 months of total obligations.
– Close car loan and then partly prepay home loan or increase SIP.
– Increase SIP every year by minimum 10%.
– Review LIC policies and restructure if required.
– Avoid taking any new loan for next 3–4 years.
– Keep lifestyle simple till cash flow stabilises.

» Finally

Your decision is not wrong. It is slightly aggressive but achievable. With your earning capacity and disciplined approach, you can manage this well.

A house becomes a burden only when planning is weak. In your case, planning is visible. Now execution discipline is important.

If you strengthen emergency corpus and continue long-term investments, this dream home can become a strong foundation for your family’s future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment