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30-Year-Old Introverted Woman Struggling with Dating - Seeking Advice

Anu Krishna |1622 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 11, 2025Hindi

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Hi, I am a 30 year old working woman. I am pretty introvert and never have been in a relationship. Men have never approached me maybe because of my closed off nature. My mother has been constantly pressing me to look for a potential match for last 3-4 years. I have been trying dating apps and matrimony apps and have gone on a lot of dates but till now there has been no success. This entire process is taking a toll on me. When I say this to my mother she will not listen and instead keeps on searching for matches herself and make me go on dates which ultimately doesn't last since none of them seem to be compatible (mainly because of difference in family background, salary differences , values mismatch,etc). At this point I am confused. I do want to settle down for the sake of life long companionship but feel that things aren't working for me and sometimes my frustrations make me feel that I am good not married. What should I do in this case?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When the right person comes along, you will know it. Until then, enjoy the process without being too attached to the outcome. If something clicks, then it does...why fret over anything?
Your mother is just doing what she is out of love and concern; so, let her! By pushing her back it will only heighten her concern and it will come back to you in other unhealthy ways. Go along with it and just play the wait and watch game. A good way to convert your frustration into something more useful and light.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1622 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2023

Question by CYRIL - Jun 09, 2023Hindi

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Hi Anu, I am 50 years, Divorced, No Kids, I live with my Mom, I am afraid to enter in to any relationships because of my past experience and now i am lonely and lost. Please suggest what to do ?

Ans: Dear Cyril,
Do past experiences define your present? If that's the way that you have accepted it, that is what has caused you to be where you are now.

If I were to assume that you your divorce has what has made you not explore it ever again after that, haven't you done great dis-service to yourself?
Why generalize that it will repeat or that all relationships might be the same as before?
For anything new to take place, the old thoughts might be replaced...give yourself that chance at exploring a new relationship. I am sure that your Mom will support you on your newer ways of thinking about relationships. Put your best foot forward and look forward to inviting something new and different. It takes that one small step...
PONDER:
One relationship gone sour DOES NOT mean that all future ones will end the same way
INSTEAD
One relationship gone sour CAN mean that you now know better what relationships can be like

A small tweak can create wonders...

All the best!

Anu Krishna |1622 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 14, 2023Hindi

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Dear Mam, Kindly note that i am a 39 yrs old guy who is not married yet. The reason behind me not getting married are basically coz i m unable to get a match at my age and none of proposals that i have seen so far, none of dem have turn positive. Now i feel like even though i want to get married, i ll end up alone in life coz at 39 i feel i will not get any match. I am very scared to living the rest of life alone.So mam i want you to help me out ways to live life alone. How to cope up with peers, relatives and colleagues pressure to get married?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's address your concerns:
1. "I want to get married or I'll end up alone.": This is not a reason to get married and you know that. Get married to build a team, a family together where you help each other grow. Incidentally, you also have a companion and lonely days instead become days filled with happy cheer and sometimes challenges as well. So, change your mindset while looking for prospects for marriage so that when you are in conversation with someone who is a match, you don't come across needy but instead focus on how the two of you grow together.
Your fear is right now pulling you into marriage rather than for more positive reasons.

2. Pressure from relatives and peers: Is it their life that you are leading? NO! Then stop focusing on what they tell you and focus on how you can make the best use of matrimonial sites or dating apps (if you choose that). Also, request your friends to set you up with someone that they might know since they know you well.

You can also join groups and communities online (beware of scams and scamsters here) where you might find like-minded people to meet and interact with. Being part of some hobby class or adventure camps may also allow for similar meeting points where you can hit it off with people who hold similar interests as yours.

Lastly, don't give up...when the time is right, it is...So, don't lose hope BUT certainly lose your current fearful mindset and embrace a mindset that is joyful and cheerful and selfless.

All the best!

Shalini Singh | Answer |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on Feb 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2025Hindi

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Respected ma'am I am Priyanka, looking for marriage from quite sometime now. Soon i am turning 31, parents are worried.. i have never been in a romantic relationship in my teens or 20s.. that's because I didn't want to go against my parents.. now most of my friends and juniors are getting married.. i feel left out.. i feel i am not getting the right guy for marriage.. i feel i may not be ready for a marital relationship, feel shy about it.. what to do, please advise and help

Ans: Hello Priyanka - Indian parents tend to worry if their child does not get married and more so as they enter in their 30s, so it is normal. The question here is - will you be ok to find your person or will go with what your parents want...this is something you need to respond to. Also how much do you know yourself - whilst you are saying you are not ready for marriage, you should know why not...you may like to schedule a 1:1 with me - google and you will know how.

Anu Krishna |1622 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 17, 2025Hindi

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Hi Everyone, I'm 28M, IT employee, please do think from my perspective what am I about to ask. Since according to indian standards I'm already late for marriage. Now the thing is I've seen enough of failed marriages, not only in news but in own family and not everytime it was fault of the female part but I've seen good men struggling to handle themselves, few times their parents in jail. Thing is I won't be able to tolerate this kind of situation and I'm afraid of myself if I'm ever in this situation. My mother has sacrificed enough to put me through school and college and I do not wish to put her in any trouble because someone had a previous relationship which they are not able to forget or they don't like me then but get's married for the sake of it. I've never been in relationship and has been introvert throughout my life. Things that I've seen in my office and on news and at home have shaken my trust into anyone. A guy like me who use to trust anyone just because they say so is not struggling to even trust my own parents sometimes. Now please don't give me argument like not evey women is like this. I know but I just can't trust anyone and I've told this to my parents yet they insist on me being married. Everyone around me is just telling me how important it is to be married but I just can't. Since I'm only kid of my parents now my mum stopped talking to me a d I've given her my side yet she is pretty adamant on me getting married. Kindly let me know how should I proceed. Also I'm not interested even in being live in or having a girlfriend. I just don't know what to make of my life. So pretty confused, angry, frustrated and what not. Also my mother says that she'll have a thorough background check before taking things any further. I know how cute she is. She thinks everyone is as honest as her. Kindly guide me about how should I proceed since most of the people in my family is now not talking to me.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How have you managed to confuse yourself so much? You know how?
By reading into situations that have happened outside of you way too much. Yes, I will say this to you; not all women are the way you perceive.
If you got attacked by a cat, you will say...All cats are aggressive and dangerous. Is this true? Are all cats that way or just the one that you got attacked by?
In your case, you have only seen failed marriages and you have concluded as some universal truth that things will go bad and then you have gone to the extent of protecting your mother. Do you not see what rigid thinking can do? Confuse you, derail you, disillusion you...
If you wish to set things right, change the way that you are thinking of marriage, potential partners for marriage...focus on what can go right rather than on what can go wrong, will help you a lot in this.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Shalini Singh | Answer |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on May 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 22, 2025

Relationship

I am 33, female, living and working in Bangalore. My parents are constantly asking me to settle down in an arranged marriage. I was in a serious relationship but the boy cheated me for a rich girl so I have trust issues. The people I meet for marriage either on apps or through friends don't want commitment. My mom is scared that if I don't marry soon, society will label me as old and picky. I don't want to marry for the heck of it. Is it even possible to find someone serious online or should I rely on my parents to find a suitable guy?

Ans: 1) Firstly 33 years is young and so is 43 :) you are as young as you feel (share this with mom :))
2) You cannot take a poor past experience as you enter into a new one - you faced trust issues - noted, they are not fun - but heal from it as you move ahead.
3) You will have to meet many, many - several via apps, friends, parents to find your person. If you do self reflection, healed from past , have must-have (not more than 3) and on it - you will find your person within 6 months - I have written on tips for doing so.

all the best.

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Radheshyam Zanwar |3711 Answers |Ask -Follow

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Question by Dhirendra - Jun 21, 2025Hindi

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Hello Sir, My daughter having Domicile of Maharashtra has passed 10th CBSE with 95% 12th CBSE with 94% , Got CSE with AI ML in SRM KTR for which seat is blocked. She has Got 93%le in MHT CET, comedK rank 14345 . Can she get CSE in a good college in Mumbai, Pune or Bangalore? I am considering Cummins College for women, VIT Pune, K J Soumaiya . Will these be good options in place of SRM KTR? I am also looking for an advice for better ROI.

Ans: Hello Dhirendra
With the mentioned score of MHT-CET, she has moderate chances of getting CSE either in Pune or Mumbai. She can gain admission to Cummins, VIT Pune, and KJ with a compromise on the branch concerning CSE. These options are favorable compared to SRM KTR if your daughter secures CSE, which seems challenging at present. Also, consider COMDEK. However, if you are a domicile of Maharashtra and your daughter is keenly interested in CSE only, then she has chances of gaining admission to private colleges through the management quota in Pune or Mumbai. If you are comfortable with SRM, it would be a better option compared to tier 2 colleges in Maharashtra. The final decision will be yours.
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We can't list the names of colleges. Participate in the counseling process carefully.
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Question by anugu - Jun 21, 2025Hindi

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Hi sir my son is iit patna studing he branch chemical frist year complete he CGPA 8.26 he wants branch change any possible sir plz advise me

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I have got 414 marks in neet 2025, SC category, AIR 184487. Will I get any gmc in Maharashtra?

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Question by Abhineet - Jun 21, 2025Hindi

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Sir i got computer science (artificial intelligence and machine learning) in vit ap under category 5. Should i join or wait for other college offers

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Radheshyam Zanwar |3711 Answers |Ask -Follow

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jun 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 21, 2025Hindi

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Sar my son mahindra university best sar

Ans: Hello dear.
Yes. Mahindra is a good option.
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Follow me if you like the reply. Thanks
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Nayagam P P |6867 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 22, 2025Hindi

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Hello sir, I'm a non maharashtrian and have a jee mains percentile of 67 and a MHT CET percentile of 88. which good colleges in Maharashtra can I get on this basis?

Ans: As a non-Maharashtrian with a JEE Main percentile of 67 and an MHT CET percentile of 88, you are not eligible for top government colleges like COEP Pune, VJTI Mumbai, or ICT Mumbai, as their cutoffs are much higher for both exams and state quota is prioritized. However, you can secure admission in reputable private engineering colleges in Maharashtra such as MIT World Peace University Pune, Dr. D.Y. Patil College of Engineering Akurdi, Vishwakarma Institute of Technology Pune, Bharati Vidyapeeth College of Engineering Pune, G.H. Raisoni College of Engineering Nagpur, and Ramrao Adik Institute of Technology Mumbai, where cutoffs for branches like Mechanical, Civil, Electrical, and sometimes IT are within your percentile range. For JEE Main, government colleges are unlikely, but many private colleges accept your score and offer a variety of branches.

The recommendation is to target private colleges such as MIT-WPU Pune, D.Y. Patil College of Engineering Akurdi, Vishwakarma Institute of Technology, and Bharati Vidyapeeth Pune for branches like Mechanical, Civil, Electrical, or IT, as these are accessible at your percentile and offer good placement support and academic quality. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Asked by Anonymous - Jun 21, 2025Hindi

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Hi Sir, I got 98 percentile in JEE mains and I have Maharashtra domicile,but due to some reasons I didn't gave mht cet.So Just wanted to know can I get admission in coep with my jee mains percentile(home State - maharashtra).

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You can apply via a 15% AI quota. Chances are there you may get a seat either in COEP or equivalent colleges in computer-related branches.
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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 22, 2025Hindi

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At my rank in comedk I am getting civil engineering at rvce or on based on jee mains rank I am getting computer and electrical engineering at jmi

Ans: With your COMEDK rank, you are eligible for Civil Engineering at RVCE, where the 2025 cutoff for Civil is expected between 14,550–15,550, while CSE and allied branches at RVCE require much higher ranks (CSE cutoff is below 600). At Jamia Millia Islamia (JMI), your JEE Main rank allows you to secure Computer Engineering (CSE) and Electrical Engineering, with the 2024 closing ranks for CSE and Electrical being 34,174 and 89,764 respectively for the general category, and even more relaxed for reserved categories. JMI’s CSE and Electrical programs have strong placement records, experienced faculty, and are located in Delhi, offering better industry exposure compared to Civil at RVCE. CSE at JMI is especially valued for its curriculum and placement outcomes, while Electrical also offers solid prospects. RVCE Civil is well regarded regionally but does not match the national reputation or placement scope of JMI’s CS and Electrical branches.

The recommendation is to choose Computer or Electrical Engineering at Jamia Millia Islamia, as these programs provide better career prospects, placement opportunities, and industry exposure than Civil Engineering at RVCE at your current ranks. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P P |6867 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 22, 2025Hindi

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My son got 33415 in KCET with sc category,can he get for CSE in any top colleges like RVCE,BMSCE,MSRIT PESU

Ans: With a KCET rank of 33,415 in the SC category, your son will not be able to secure Computer Science Engineering (CSE) in top Bangalore colleges like RVCE, BMSCE, MSRIT, or PES University. The 2024 KCET closing ranks for CSE in the SC category were 4,706 at RVCE, 2,131 at BMSCE, and 26,769 at MSRIT, all significantly lower than your son's rank. Even in the final rounds, these colleges rarely see CSE cutoffs for SC candidates go beyond 10,000–27,000, and for PES University, the cutoffs are even more competitive. While MSRIT’s closing rank for SC in CSE was 26,769, your son's rank of 33,415 is outside this range. Placement rates for CSE in these institutes are high, with 93–97% of students placed at RVCE, BMSCE, and MSRIT, and top recruiters visiting annually. However, for your son's rank, he may get lower-demand branches or CSE in newer or less competitive colleges, but not in these top-tier institutes.

The recommendation is to explore CSE or IT in emerging Bangalore colleges or consider allied branches in better-ranked institutes, as CSE in RVCE, BMSCE, MSRIT, or PES University is not possible at a 33,415 SC rank this year. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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