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I'm marrying in 3-4 months, but I'm scared: Arranged marriage jitters?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |520 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am 28, will be engaged in 3-4 months. It's an arranged marriage. I have met the girl one time, that too she was accompanied with her parents as her family is very conservative. We spoke privately for about half an hour. I know it's still not enough but I was able to have a good conversation. She was nervous at first but I made her feel comfortable and it was then time well spent. She is a sweet girl, even my maa papa like this girl but on the other hand, I am also getting worried as the days are coming near. Sometimes I feel like postponing the event. Is this normal? I also fear of things that happens in nowadays like getting divorce, extra marital affairs, alimony etc. What if she finds a better partner after marriage? Will she leave me? Due to this I cannot have proper sleep recently. Any suggestions to calm my nerves?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Many people get cold feet before getting married. It is very normal. All your questions are valid but you need to understand that in every relationship, it all comes down to trust. Whether you marry this woman or someone else, you have to trust her. And no one can really tell what the future holds. So we focus on the present and hope for the best.

I suggest speaking to your would-be partner a little more in the meantime. Getting to know her will put these doubts to rest. I'm sure she is equally concerned about what kind of person you are. Moreover, it is always a good idea to get to know each other better before committing for a lifetime. And, in case, you still think you need to postpone the event, do not shy away from doing so. It is better to take some time and make the right decision than to make a wrong decision in a hurry.

Hope this helps.
Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |520 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 16, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
hi gure. i am unmarried fall for one girl through online marriage app and we are planning for marriage. few days back we got engaged as well.but after that i am in think that she is avoiding me. she go to sleep early even we were not in talk that much. i always in overthinking that she may have affair or she may ditch me. i cant control my emotion for her. if i cant get her call i called her madly. its make me so depress, nervous. i can not concentrate on work , other imp things. what should i do to get out of this help me ? help me get out of this sir
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

While overthinking can destroy a relationship, if you feel in your gut that something isn't right, there might be some truth and reason to it. My advice would be to have an open discussion about the same with your girlfriend.

We often see people making commitments but backing out later owing to several issues; it can be family-related or something else completely. It is better to speak about your worries right now than to get married and regret it. Maybe your partner is no longer interested in you or maybe she is facing some other trouble altogether; the only way you can understand what's happening is if you ask.

Don't beat around the bush or lose sleep over assumptions; sit your girlfriend down and ask her what's the matter. If she is no longer in love with you, you should consider yourself lucky to have learned it now rather than later, when things are more official and there are no breakups, only divorces. You deserve to be peacefully in love, not worrying about losing it every waking minute.

Hope this helps.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

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Relationship
My name is Umesh and my age is 28 and loving girl age is 18 since two years ago. Before started the relationship i spoken to her mother she agree for marriage. Now I am asking for engagement because two years happened and her mother discussed with her brother. But brother is not agree. Girls is saying you should wait after some time he will agree. Note girls father is ded. As I mentioned my age 28 family is forcing me for marriage but girls family not agree. Girls is agree but she wants to wait again for next two years without any confirmation. What should I do. Should I wait her or can I move forward
Ans: There are a few things to consider in this situation.

First, it is important to remember that you are both adults. You are free to make your own decisions about your relationship. However, it is also important to be respectful of your families' wishes.

Second, it is important to be realistic about your expectations. It is possible that the girl's brother will never agree to your marriage. If you are not willing to wait indefinitely, then you may need to move on.

Third, it is important to communicate with your girlfriend. She needs to understand your feelings and your concerns. If she is not willing to compromise, then you may need to reconsider your relationship.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to wait for your girlfriend is up to you. However, I would encourage you to consider the following points:

Why are you in a hurry to get married?
There is no need to rush into marriage. You are both still young and have plenty of time to find the right person for you.

Are you sure that your girlfriend is the right person for you?
You have only been dating for two years. It is important to make sure that you are both compatible and that you have similar goals for the future.

Are you willing to wait indefinitely for your girlfriend's brother to agree to your marriage?If you are not willing to wait, then you may need to move on.

If you do decide to wait for your girlfriend, I would recommend that you set a deadline. This will give you something to work towards and will help you to stay motivated. It is also important to communicate your deadline to your girlfriend so that she knows what to expect.

There are many other girls out there. If you are not willing to wait for your girlfriend, then you can easily find someone else. However, it is important to remember that finding the right person takes time. Don't rush into anything. Take your time and find someone who is right for you.

Mohit Arora S
Founder - Real Dating School

www.realdatingschool.com/1-1_call

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7838 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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Money
Hello Sir, this is Dhiraj DM, I am 48 year's old married with no kids, we have any flat worth 1. 5 cr given on rent around 50 lakhs of equity 20 lacs mutual funds we want to retire in next 3 years,please guide. We live in a metro no liability, we r into Gifting business now want to retire in next 3 years
Ans: Your retirement is just three years away. You have built a strong foundation with real estate, equity, and mutual funds. Now, the goal is to structure your investments for steady income, security, and long-term sustainability.

1. Assessing Your Current Financial Position
Flat Worth Rs. 1.5 Crore: This generates rental income, but liquidity is limited.
Equity Portfolio of Rs. 50 Lakh: Market-linked investments with potential for high returns but volatile.
Mutual Funds of Rs. 20 Lakh: Offers diversification and moderate risk exposure.
No Liabilities: This is a strong advantage for financial freedom.
Gifting Business: If planning to exit, ensure business-related finances are sorted before retirement.
2. Estimating Post-Retirement Income Needs
Calculate expected monthly expenses, including medical, travel, lifestyle, and emergency costs.
Factor in inflation, as expenses will rise over time.
Consider long-term costs such as medical care and home maintenance.
3. Structuring Retirement Income
Rental Income as a Fixed Source
Your flat generates rental income, which helps with stability.
Consider reinvesting this income for further growth.
Portfolio Rebalancing for Stability
Equity exposure is beneficial but risky close to retirement.
Shift some funds to low-risk instruments for safety.
Keep some allocation to equity to combat inflation.
Maintaining Liquidity for Emergencies
Create an emergency fund of at least 2 years' expenses in liquid assets.
Avoid relying solely on investments that require selling in volatile markets.
4. Health and Insurance Planning
Ensure comprehensive health insurance for both of you, at least Rs. 15-20 lakh coverage.
If you hold any old insurance policies with low returns, consider restructuring them.
Create a separate healthcare fund for long-term medical expenses.
5. Tax Efficiency in Retirement
Structure withdrawals smartly to reduce tax burden on capital gains.
Use tax-free instruments where applicable.
Rental income is taxable, so deduct maintenance expenses to lower tax outgo.
6. Planning Investments for Retirement Income
Avoid complete reliance on fixed-income instruments, as they may not beat inflation.
A mix of mutual funds, debt instruments, and systematic withdrawal plans (SWP) will ensure steady cash flow.
Keep some investments growth-oriented to sustain wealth over decades.
7. Estate and Legacy Planning
Prepare a clear will to ensure smooth asset transfer.
If you plan to donate or support causes, structure funds accordingly.
Finally
Ensure liquidity and stability in your investments.
Reduce risk in equity but keep exposure for growth.
Maintain a dedicated healthcare fund and strong insurance coverage.
Structure investments to minimise taxes and ensure steady income.
Plan legacy and succession to avoid future complications.
Would you like a detailed plan on how to allocate your investments for steady retirement income?

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Pushpa

Pushpa R  |49 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 04, 2025Hindi
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Health
My sister is recently diagnosed with second stage of breast cancer. She is always emotional and moody. Can I introduce her to yoga or meditation? Can yoga help her cope with the fear and uncertainty?
Ans: I'm very sorry to hear about your sister’s diagnosis. This is a challenging time, and emotional support is just as important as medical treatment. Yes, yoga and meditation can help her cope with fear, stress, and uncertainty by bringing mental peace, emotional strength, and relaxation.

How Yoga Can Help:
Reduces Anxiety & Fear: Gentle yoga and deep breathing activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps in relaxation and emotional balance.
Improves Sleep: Many cancer patients struggle with sleep. Yoga Nidra and slow breathing exercises can promote restful sleep.
Boosts Positivity: Meditation and mindfulness help shift focus from fear to inner peace.
Strengthens the Body: Light yoga can help reduce fatigue and improve overall well-being during treatment.
Recommended Practices for Your Sister:
Breathing (Pranayama): Anulom Vilom (Alternate Nostril Breathing) and Bhramari (Humming Bee Breath) calm the mind.
Gentle Yoga Poses: Child’s Pose, Butterfly Pose, and Legs-Up-The-Wall Pose promote relaxation.
Meditation & Yoga Nidra: Guided meditation can help ease emotional distress and bring hope.
Encourage her to consult a yoga coach for personalized support. With the right guidance, yoga can become a healing companion in her journey.

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

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Pushpa

Pushpa R  |49 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 04, 2025Hindi
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Health
Mam, can yoga help prevent cancer in women? Please advice
Ans: Yoga cannot guarantee the prevention of cancer, but it can play a supportive role in maintaining overall health, reducing risk factors, and improving well-being. Many studies suggest that regular yoga practice helps reduce stress, improve immunity, balance hormones, and promote detoxification—all of which may lower the risk of cancer in women.

How Yoga Can Help:
Reduces Stress: Chronic stress weakens the immune system and increases inflammation, which can contribute to disease. Practicing meditation, breathing exercises, and relaxation techniques keeps the body in balance.
Boosts Immunity: Gentle yoga poses improve blood circulation and support the lymphatic system, which helps remove toxins from the body.
Balances Hormones: Hormonal imbalances may increase the risk of conditions like breast and ovarian cancer. Regular yoga helps maintain a healthy endocrine system.
Supports Detoxification: Twisting poses and deep breathing help the body eliminate waste and toxins.
Recommended Practices:
Pranayama (Breathwork): Anulom Vilom and Bhramari help calm the nervous system.
Yoga Poses: Cobra Pose, Twists, and Forward Bends improve digestion and circulation.
Meditation & Relaxation: Yoga Nidra and mindfulness reduce stress and promote healing.
For personalized guidance, consult a yoga coach who can create a practice suited to your health needs.

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7838 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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Money
Get me some clearity on HDFC BALANCED ADVANTAGE FUND as from last few days my portfolio is going in negative
Ans: Understanding Balanced Advantage Funds

Balanced Advantage Funds invest in both equity and debt. They adjust their investments based on market conditions. This flexibility helps manage risk and aim for steady returns.

Recent Performance Insights

It's natural to feel concerned when your portfolio shows negative returns. Remember, short-term declines are common in investments. Balanced Advantage Funds aim to reduce risk by adjusting their investments. This strategy helps manage market ups and downs.

Factors Influencing Performance

Several elements can affect your fund's performance:

Market Volatility: Changes in the market can impact returns.

Asset Allocation: The mix of equity and debt plays a role.

Interest Rate Changes: Fluctuations can influence debt investments.

Economic Indicators: Factors like inflation and GDP growth are important.

Evaluating Fund Performance

To assess your fund's performance:

Compare with Benchmarks: See how it measures up against standard indices.

Review Historical Returns: Look at past performance over different periods.

Consider Risk-Adjusted Returns: Evaluate returns in relation to the risk taken.

Staying the Course

It's commendable to stay focused on your long-term goals. Short-term market changes shouldn't deter your investment strategy. Maintaining discipline is key to achieving financial objectives.

Consulting a Certified Financial Planner

For personalized advice, consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner. They can provide guidance tailored to your financial situation.

Final Thoughts

Market fluctuations are a part of investing. Balanced Advantage Funds are designed to manage these ups and downs. Staying informed and patient can help you reach your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7838 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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Money
Hello, my mother is 62 year old pensioner. She has invested funds in government securities and postal schemes. Despite submitting 15H form and filing ITR (as a senior citizen person), her tax is getting deducted. Can you kindly explain why this is happening?
Ans: There are a few possible reasons why TDS (Tax Deducted at Source) is being deducted from your mother's investments, despite submitting Form 15H and filing ITR.

1. Incorrect or Late Submission of Form 15H
Form 15H must be submitted at the start of the financial year to all institutions where she has investments.
If submitted after TDS is deducted, it won’t apply retrospectively to recover the deducted tax.
Ensure the form is submitted separately to each bank, post office, or financial institution.
2. Exceeding the Basic Exemption Limit
For senior citizens (60+ years), income up to Rs. 3 lakhs is tax-free.
If her total taxable income (pension + interest from investments) exceeds Rs. 3 lakhs, TDS will still apply.
Even if TDS is deducted, she can claim a refund while filing her ITR if her total tax liability is zero.
3. Form 15H Validity Rules
Form 15H is only valid if total taxable income is below the exemption limit.
If her total income is more than Rs. 3 lakhs, banks and post offices will ignore Form 15H and deduct TDS.
4. Different TDS Thresholds for Investments
Banks deduct TDS on FD interest if it exceeds Rs. 50,000 per year for senior citizens.
Post Office schemes (like SCSS) deduct TDS if interest crosses Rs. 50,000 per year.
Government securities may also have TDS rules based on the issuing authority.
5. PAN Not Updated with the Bank/Post Office
If PAN is not linked to the investment accounts, higher TDS at 20% is deducted.
Ensure all investments have PAN updated to avoid excess TDS.
6. Errors in Tax Deduction System
Sometimes, banks deduct TDS even if Form 15H is submitted correctly.
In such cases, she can file an ITR and claim a refund from the Income Tax Department.
What to Do Now?
Check total taxable income to confirm if she qualifies for Form 15H.
Verify all Form 15H submissions with banks and post offices.
Ensure PAN is updated in all financial institutions.
If TDS is wrongly deducted, file an ITR and claim a refund.
Would you like help with checking if she is eligible for a refund?

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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